The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:

@achewood "One of Your Shoes is By the Dog Food: A Tale of Things Not Worth Mentioning During Married Life," is out in September on Harper-Doubleday.

Pages: 1 [2] 3 4 5   Go Down

Author Topic: BLOGVS IVLIVS - July Blogs.  (Read 13640 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

CortJstr

  • Mod Squad
  • Philippe is standing on it
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 338
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 9820
  • Which gives us AN EXCUSE TO DRINK!
    • View Profile
BLOGVS IVLIVS - July Blogs.
« Reply #15 on: July 09, 2005, 03:38:37 pm »
Granted $55 is an absolutely criminal amount to charge for a haircut but shouldn't Pat have asked that before sitting down? And why would anybody want to look like they were on That 70's Show?

Clearly Beef has yet to lay his eyes on the Swiss Army USB drive. The description even fits in with his blog
Quote from: "Think Geek"
We realize this gorgeous Swiss Army knife, with a built-in USB flash drive, is probably causing you to become very excited and thus filling you with an almost uncontrollable urge to immediately add this item to your cart (and hey, we certainly won't stop you). This is a geek's dream gadget brought to life - and with very little standing between you and your acquisition of this bad boy, we can fully understand your elation.
Logged

Bozack

  • Most Melancholy of Batmen
  • Onstad's Left Shoe
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 10
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 1651
  • stop this car, i'm getting out
    • View Profile
BLOGVS IVLIVS - July Blogs.
« Reply #16 on: July 09, 2005, 03:57:32 pm »
I love how Beef's post goes from being sublimely happy about being able to get the knife to totally depressed about how he spends too much money.
Dang, Beef. Get you that knife, forget the old lady and just go off into the woods and have a good ol' time!
Logged
Hey, things are going okay now!

V-Adore

  • Guest
BLOGVS IVLIVS - July Blogs.
« Reply #17 on: July 09, 2005, 06:26:55 pm »
Hell, now I want the Swiss Army USB drive. Badly. Oh Jesus.

I can't believe nobody's commented on Lyle's last poem yet. I mean, helicopter delicopter? What makes Lyle even think of this stuff? (Besides, obviously, booze.)
Logged

CortJstr

  • Mod Squad
  • Philippe is standing on it
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 338
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 9820
  • Which gives us AN EXCUSE TO DRINK!
    • View Profile
BLOGVS IVLIVS - July Blogs.
« Reply #18 on: July 09, 2005, 07:26:32 pm »
Quote from: "V-Adore"
Hell, now I want the Swiss Army USB drive. Badly. Oh Jesus.

V, in that case. Do NOT browse the rest of of Think Geek. I cannot stress this enough.
Logged

Bobby Isosceles

  • Guest
BLOGVS IVLIVS - July Blogs.
« Reply #19 on: July 14, 2005, 12:50:59 pm »
"Douche Science" would be an excellent name for a punk band that Onstad will not pay $13/mo to listen to on XM Radio.
Logged

CortJstr

  • Mod Squad
  • Philippe is standing on it
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 338
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 9820
  • Which gives us AN EXCUSE TO DRINK!
    • View Profile
BLOGVS IVLIVS - July Blogs.
« Reply #20 on: July 14, 2005, 12:56:35 pm »
I'm going to assume that CP was just messing with Teodor here. But I can't decide if Beef's entry was a happy one or the saddest thing.
Logged

andalucia

  • Onstad's Left Shoe
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 2
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1680
    • View Profile
    • http://www.awesomeblurry.com
BLOGVS IVLIVS - July Blogs.
« Reply #21 on: July 14, 2005, 01:04:27 pm »
"Female Partition Jesus" makes up for Onstad's timely riffing on That Tom Cruise; He Is Zany.  I think.
Logged
goose means greedy

wombat

  • English-Speaking Pizza
  • Mod Squad
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 644
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 12493
  • Yeah man, these are pugs, not some fuck*ng lolcat.
    • View Profile
BLOGVS IVLIVS - July Blogs.
« Reply #22 on: July 14, 2005, 01:09:55 pm »
Beef's entry is happy!  He stood up for himself.

But Teodor's is extremely disturbing.
Logged
What is this, the fuckin' Algonquin Round Table or some shit?  - Nabu

If you're going to change your life then you have to change it every day, not just the days the world isn't taking a shit on you. -Doc

Emergent_C

  • Chucklebot
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 1
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 153
    • View Profile
BLOGVS IVLIVS - July Blogs.
« Reply #23 on: July 14, 2005, 02:07:18 pm »
Is it just Teodor who has classist tendencies, or is it Onstad in the guise of Teodor, who is in fact the classist?
Logged
now I know that being in trouble is a fake idea

CortJstr

  • Mod Squad
  • Philippe is standing on it
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 338
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 9820
  • Which gives us AN EXCUSE TO DRINK!
    • View Profile
BLOGVS IVLIVS - July Blogs.
« Reply #24 on: July 14, 2005, 02:32:50 pm »
Quote from: "Emergent_C"
Is it just Teodor who has classist tendencies, or is it Onstad in the guise of Teodor, who is in fact the classist?

You should read Ilium. At one point they start debating if the Wil in the sonnets is Shakespeare or not.
Logged

V-Adore

  • Guest
BLOGVS IVLIVS - July Blogs.
« Reply #25 on: July 14, 2005, 02:49:56 pm »
The Molly post is just... enh. More of Molly's restaurant career not being fantabulous. Been there, done that. The Beef post is pretty nice, though.

The Onstad post is one of the times I've hoped most fervently that Onstad's blog is in no way a reflection of his real life, because damn, weird and incoherent this week. You can also tell that he's Californian because he rates "can go on snow" as a feature on the caliber of the eep-eep door-opening noise. What the hell, people.
Logged

pmcd9

  • Mod Squad
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 608
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 12778
  • The Kid is up to no good
    • View Profile
BLOGVS IVLIVS - July Blogs.
« Reply #26 on: July 14, 2005, 03:18:06 pm »
I rate "can go on snow" as an I would like to pay less and have you remove this feature level.
Logged
I hope I never have to refer to a scone in spoken conversation.

editor

  • Dr. Kisses
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 1
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 41
    • View Profile
BLOGVS IVLIVS - July Blogs.
« Reply #27 on: July 14, 2005, 03:29:58 pm »
The Teador post left me feeling kinda sorry for CP until Teador wrote this: "I'm not sure what to do with a guy who apparently does nothing with his palate other than draw the beef curtains, if I may make a food/cunnilingus analogy."  

This left me cringing and laughing at the same time.  Nicely done, Mr. Onstad, nicely done.
Logged
Congratulations, you broke the Internet.  Good job.


Don't you hate #####?

V-Adore

  • Guest
BLOGVS IVLIVS - July Blogs.
« Reply #28 on: July 14, 2005, 03:39:27 pm »
Quote from: "pmcd9"
I rate "can go on snow" as an I would like to pay less and have you remove this feature level.

Right, because the first feature I want removed from my car to lower the price is "ability to be driven even in adverse weather conditions." Right on.

:roll:
Logged

pmcd9

  • Mod Squad
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 608
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 12778
  • The Kid is up to no good
    • View Profile
BLOGVS IVLIVS - July Blogs.
« Reply #29 on: July 14, 2005, 03:42:29 pm »
Right, because the stated adverse weather condition never crosses my path.  I thought you knew I lived in South Texas.

~Paul
Logged
I hope I never have to refer to a scone in spoken conversation.
Pages: 1 [2] 3 4 5   Go Up
« previous next »