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[pmcd9]

I really hope I can grow up to be chill and wise instead of mean and angry like that famous guy.

He should just eat his square bagel and shut the fuck up is what you are saying?

[wombat]

I did not click that link but anyone who is given a square bagel has reason to be angry.

[theinevitable]

I think getting mad about a bagel is the epitome of childish futility. I get it, he's a comedian, he's being funny, but I don't aspire to be a comedian, I just want to one day be a human with a less toxic emotional life. Getting mad about bagels or what bands people like or how people like their coffee is never going to lead to anything but suffering. I agree that that advertisement is infuriating. I wish I could live in a world where everything didn't cater to morons but it ain't happening.

I retyped this 20 times trying to make it sound less preachy and I can't figure it out. Sorry.

Let me know if any of you guys know the one weird trick to know how dumb literally everything/everyone in the world is without getting so mad that you make yourself miserable. I have figured out that part of it is finding a way to do things for their own sake.
As the wise birthday boy has said, the reward for work is more work.

The good news is, looks like there might be good bagels near my new house. There are not bagels in St Louis except the grocery store kind.

[wombat]

This weekend in New Jersey someone gave me the wrong kind of jelly doughnuts, but I didn't get mad. I politely asked for the right one and explained that I had come all the way from Maryland for jelly doughnuts. I like to believe that there is a way to return the wrong jelly doughnut without being a dick to strangers.

You have every right to expect good bagels in that part of New Jersey. If they also have the right kind of jelly doughnuts, the ones that are rectangular and have granulated and not powdered sugar on them, I may have to come visit you.

[wombat]

Let me know if any of you guys know the one weird trick to know how dumb literally everything/everyone in the world is without getting so mad that you make yourself miserable.

As for this - on the one hand I feel like I have to warn you that in one sense this will only get worse. The more years I have been alive, the more things I have become well-informed about, so the more things make me want to scream when someone says or does something stupid in those areas.

On the other hand I think lately I am managing to cultivate the self-discipline to just step away. Last week there were three things in two days that made me want to write an angry letter to the Washington Post, and I didn't. Today, I was about to unfollow an editor at Slate whose tweets generally give me one of two angry reactions: A, that is interesting but they should have hired me to write it because I would have done a better job and why can't I ever get a gig writing for a place that actually makes their writers famous or B, they should have hired me to write that because what they ended up with is bullshit. But then I decided not to unfollow her because it is good practice for stepping away and not engaging with something that makes me mad.

[AugustWest]

As for this - on the one hand I feel like I have to warn you that in one sense this will only get worse. The more years I have been alive, the more things I have become well-informed about, so the more things make me want to scream when someone says or does something stupid in those areas.

On the other hand I think lately I am managing to cultivate the self-discipline to just step away. Last week there were three things in two days that made me want to write an angry letter to the Washington Post, and I didn't. Today, I was about to unfollow an editor at Slate whose tweets generally give me one of two angry reactions: A, that is interesting but they should have hired me to write it because I would have done a better job and why can't I ever get a gig writing for a place that actually makes their writers famous or B, they should have hired me to write that because what they ended up with is bullshit. But then I decided not to unfollow her because it is good practice for stepping away and not engaging with something that makes me mad.

Amen! The more I learn to do this, the happier I am.  I've become a lot more consciously selective about what I'm willing to get emotionally involved with. Can I change the situation?  No?  Not much point in burning new holes in my stomach over it then.  Yoga and the dang ol' Serenity Prayer.

[wombat]

Yeah, can I change the situation or influence it in any way? That's what I am trying to think about. In my experience writing to the newspaper is usually futile, because even if they print a letter, it's so dissociated from the original article that it doesn't correct the information for the people who read it. Comments on the internet are at least there with the article, but it's easy to see which are the places where they will get drowned in a sea of idiotic comments. The time spent there is unlikely to have any useful effect.

On the other hand, there are cases where I can communicate directly with the author and I feel like I have a chance of making sure that they don't continue to pass on misinformation. That's worth it. There are sites and people who post on Facebook where comment threads are sometimes actually interesting discussions with only a few ignorant people who might be educable. That's worth it. There are cases where I can put it on a list of things to write about elsewhere to inform a different set of readers of the correct information. That's worth it and even a possible moneymaking proposition. Otherwise I try to move on.

[AugustWest]

Yeah, it's generally worthwhile posting things here because the audience quality is so good.

[pmcd9]

Wombat, one thing you've failed to consider is that the powers that be actually like those ill informed post because they are red meat to their fans as well as the detractors. They don't care if it's accurate.  It's very cynical and calculated. If they hired you they would get well informed and reasonable writing, but that just doesn't sell in today's market.

[wombat]

The kind of sites you're talking about I don't even read, because that's step number -1 to stepping away from things that make you mad.

The kind of stuff I'm talking about is mostly the kind of writing you get when you hire a generalist instead of someone who knows a beat. It means well, but is crazy superficial, or uses people as sources who they'd know has an axe to grind if they knew the topic, or repeats common wisdom that has little or no factual support... that sort of thing.

[theinevitable]

the older and more experienced I get, the weirder infatuation is. Still very powerful, but damn, I definitely know better than to have this intense of a crush on someone I am about to move very far away from. And I know that part of this infatuation is because I am freaked out and anticipating loneliness in my new home.

ughhhh she's sending me cool anime videos though, that's unfair. My asexual and uncool interests aren't supposed to interact with my "hip" and romantic interests like this.

[jaydub]

I had not previously considered an intersection between 'anime' and 'asexual' existed.

[wombat]

I am sorry if I am a terrible person but I am turning off the radio when there is news about the middle east. I am too old. I have been hearing news about conflict in the middle east my whole life now. So it isn't news. Tell me if something different happens - that will be news. If people in the middle east STOP killing each other, that would be news. If the world is falling apart in a NEW way, that would be news. It's very simple: Bombings in Israel etc - not news. Zombie apocalypse - news. Isn't that simple enough?

[AugustWest]

I am sorry if I am a terrible person but I am turning off the radio when there is news about the middle east. I am too old. I have been hearing news about conflict in the middle east my whole life now. So it isn't news. Tell me if something different happens - that will be news. If people in the middle east STOP killing each other, that would be news. If the world is falling apart in a NEW way, that would be news. It's very simple: Bombings in Israel etc - not news. Zombie apocalypse - news. Isn't that simple enough?

Oh my yes.

When did I get so jaded.

[theinevitable]

Ways I make myself feel less worried about moving: I set up a "freak out fund" in my bank account. $2 a day will be moved to a separate little digital envelope, and after a few months of that I will have what it takes to fly to St Louis for a long weekend. Or New Year's Eve or something! Nice.

I made a list of everything I need to get done before I leave and it is freaking me out. One thing at a time, self.