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Author Topic: Childhood misunderstandings?  (Read 15002 times)

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theinevitable

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Re: Childhood misunderstandings?
« Reply #30 on: March 05, 2007, 03:39:28 am »

yeah, I looked that shit up and finally learned The Truth. man, that puts my mind at ease. I always figured it was something along those lines, but I hadn't thought about it in a while.
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Nabubrush

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Re: Childhood misunderstandings?
« Reply #31 on: March 05, 2007, 03:51:52 am »

Nabu, I love you.

And you listen to Alicia Keys! What's my wife going to think when she comes downstairs from studying Econ and I'm gone, nothing left but scattered papers in the corners of the room (and an empty glass with melting ice-cubes, true).

Seriously, don't tempt me. I travel through Alaska every two weeks and you know that! Plus, I have experience with the Aelutians, and I enjoyed it! You crazy internet girls, you drive me wild!
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Alternate

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Re: Childhood misunderstandings?
« Reply #32 on: March 05, 2007, 04:18:17 am »

Yeah, you and a lot of other women. This bothers me more than I think anything else that I can think of. This is basically America's fault, because our culture is a bunch of fuckheads. I would like to also point out here that I enjoy the way you write. I am sorry for the digression.

Thanks, man.  Yeah, I didn't get much out of my sex ed classes, but I kind of wish someone had just sat me down and told me "Your body belongs to you" about a thousand times, or something.  It was sad, not just for me but for the guys I knew.  Most of them were good guys, and probably would have liked it if we'd interacted as equals.  I just didn't think that would fly, at the time. 
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littlefallsmets

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Re: Childhood misunderstandings?
« Reply #33 on: March 05, 2007, 04:34:21 am »

Quote from: Alternate
Most of them were good guys, and probably would have liked it if we'd interacted as equals.  I just didn't think that would fly, at the time.

Y'know, I think I was pretty much exactly the opposite. If I had known that I could make first moves with a lady without completely coming off like a creepy date-rapist douchebag, I probably could've... like... dated in high school instead of being lonely and pining over girls who...

In retrospect...

Most of them probably would've dated me if I wasn't so afraid of being misunderstood or pushy.

It is weird how much the world has fucked most of us up.
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KeithHernandez

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Re: Childhood misunderstandings?
« Reply #34 on: March 05, 2007, 05:25:28 am »

It is weird how much the world has fucked most of us up.

That is so simple, and so true.
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linnea

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Re: Childhood misunderstandings?
« Reply #35 on: March 05, 2007, 05:43:38 am »

And you listen to Alicia Keys! What's my wife going to think when she comes downstairs from studying Econ and I'm gone, nothing left but scattered papers in the corners of the room (and an empty glass with melting ice-cubes, true).

Seriously, don't tempt me. I travel through Alaska every two weeks and you know that! Plus, I have experience with the Aelutians, and I enjoyed it! You crazy internet girls, you drive me wild!

Whoa, whoa, whoa! I'm not a homewrecker! The last thing I need is Mrs. Nabubrush drinks a lot hunting me down with a Bowie knife in her teeth. Plus as you are well aware, visiting Alaska is a lot like...visiting Canada.  I'm a hell of a long ways from the north slope.

It's actually really funny how gossip runs in a small town. A woman asked me once if I "was okay." I said, "Uh, yes...?" She said that she'd heard that "Jane" had come to my workplace and threatened to beat my ass if I didn't stop messing around with her husband.  ??? I just stared at her, dumbfounded. I finally said, "Uh, you know what? I'm not a homewrecker, Jane and I are friends, and I am also PLATONIC FRIENDS with her husband who is in the fire department with me."


Y'know, I think I was pretty much exactly the opposite. If I had known that I could make first moves with a lady without completely coming off like a creepy date-rapist douchebag, I probably could've... like... dated in high school instead of being lonely and pining over girls who...

In retrospect...

Most of them probably would've dated me if I wasn't so afraid of being misunderstood or pushy.

It is weird how much the world has fucked most of us up.

That had to have been really frustrating. However, it's better than the alternative of being a guy who takes advantage of women, or who is pushy and scary.  I remember being at a club once where this hella ugly guy must have figured that "jerks get the chicks." To put it mildly, the dude was not well versed in the communicative arts. He approached woman after woman with this really hyper-aggro "Dance with me NOW. Come on, let's dance." Women were fleeing from him in droves, and you could tell that at each rejection he was just getting angrier and angrier. It was really scary to watch, and I stayed as far away from him as I could get. I was astounded that he was being such an asshole. I pitied the girl who was too afraid to say no to him.

A lot of women are trained to think that you MUST be nice to men at all costs. that reminds me of a story from when Kellichou were undergrads in university and we road-tripped to a convention in a neighboring state. We got into town at like 2AM. When we got to our room, two of the other girls met us there and we hung out for a little bit before we turned in. The other two girls were really upset.

1. They had driven into the large parking garage and started to get out of the car and retrieve their luggage.
2. A VAN FULL of drunk men pulled up behind them and tried to convince them to go with them to a house party or a bar or something.
3. Instead of getting BACK into the car and locking the doors and calling 911, the girls tried to be "nice" to the guys because they "didn't want to make them mad."

It was blind, dumb luck that they were not dragged into the van and assaulted. If those men had been out to kidnap someone that night, those girls would have been toast.  I was incredulous and I could not believe their reactions - why on earth would they try to talk to those guys?? Thank heavens that they weren't harmed, but I hope that they learned something from their experiences. Obviously it would NOT have been their fault if something bad had happened, but you shouldn't trust anyone. Sheesh.

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theinevitable

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Re: Childhood misunderstandings?
« Reply #36 on: March 05, 2007, 05:50:37 am »

I want to agree and say that I too am afraid of making the first move for fear of being creepy... but that is probably a lie.

I am afraid of looking creepy basically 24/7, though. This is mostly due, however, to finding out in 7th grade that this good friend of mine thought I was annoying. He did not really like me. I realize now that I was an annoying little kid... and only that kid being a complete jackass to me made me realize it.
So now, I am constantly afraid of appearing too Enthusiastic when meeting a new person-- basically I have applied the "wait 3 days before calling" rule to every facet of my life. If I see a new friend in public, I am afraid to say hi to them, lest they think "oh god, there's that Daniel kid. What, does he think we're friends now?"

I am partially exaggerating. I also do a weird thing where I develop like... there is not a word. it is like a crush, except that instead of wanting Smooches I want to be Friends with the person.
So basically the best thing ever was 2 weeks ago, when I helped out with all the KWUR Week Shows (ie, a week of free concerts put on by the radio station) and I got to hang out with all the cool people I am afraid to approach.
John said hi to me in public! *swoons*
And he commented on how much work I did!
HE NOTICED! (for the record, I am purposely mocking myself. I realize that this is over the top.)

...I become more like Beef every day. Just in terms of developing weird neuroses about things.
I feel like this board is either Bad for my mental health or Good for it. Depending on whether it is good or bad to notice how many weird things you are freaked out by.
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Social pressures exist
And if you think about them all of the time
You're gonna find that your head's been kicked in
You're gonna do it all for the grind

littlefallsmets

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Re: Childhood misunderstandings?
« Reply #37 on: March 05, 2007, 06:00:32 am »

I cannot think of a time where I dated a lady without her asking first or kissed a lady without her starting the kiss. Ever. Good Christ, I hope my girlfriend remains alive and loving me for a long time because the early stages of dating are a crap situation.

The early stages of dating are THE crap situation.
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Doc

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Re: Childhood misunderstandings?
« Reply #38 on: March 05, 2007, 06:08:30 am »

it's better than the alternative of being a guy who takes advantage of women, or who is pushy and scary.

There are other options though. I know that's not what you were saying but a lot of the time guys are made to feel like it's not actually be ok to express any kind of interst in women which is why a lot of us who care revert to the moronically timid default mentioned above. This kind of stereotype is just irritating since many of us can use our brains to totally overrule our rad chillies for minutes at a time.
Just sayin'
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theinevitable

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Re: Childhood misunderstandings?
« Reply #39 on: March 05, 2007, 06:19:10 am »

I would like to think that knowing when to smooch a lady is the one social situation I am pretty successful at.
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Social pressures exist
And if you think about them all of the time
You're gonna find that your head's been kicked in
You're gonna do it all for the grind

Nabubrush

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Re: Childhood misunderstandings?
« Reply #40 on: March 05, 2007, 06:21:43 am »

I'm sorry if I sort of irreperably damaged this thread.
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Doc

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Re: Childhood misunderstandings?
« Reply #41 on: March 05, 2007, 06:25:47 am »

I wouldn't sweat it man, if we couldn't change topics like that it wouldn't be TOUAMB. 'sides childhood understandings of sex to sexual stereotypes is a fairly natural progression, I'm sure we'll be back to cat cocks soon anyway.

They have barbs you know.
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Nabubrush

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Re: Childhood misunderstandings?
« Reply #42 on: March 05, 2007, 06:28:09 am »

Whoa, whoa, whoa! I'm not a homewrecker! The last thing I need is Mrs. Nabubrush drinks a lot hunting me down with a Bowie knife in her teeth.
She's worldly. Let me know when you're in Anch. No, no - we could just hoist a cold one at the Bear Tooth or something!
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linnea

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Re: Childhood misunderstandings?
« Reply #43 on: March 05, 2007, 03:08:42 pm »

She's worldly. Let me know when you're in Anch. No, no - we could just hoist a cold one at the Bear Tooth or something!

A plane ticket to ANC costs at least $900, unless I can take a medevac in on the weekend. The last time I took a medevac and was late to work I got written up. I seriously doubt I'll be taking any more of those. :(
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Nabubrush

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Re: Childhood misunderstandings?
« Reply #44 on: March 05, 2007, 05:04:55 pm »

A plane ticket to ANC costs at least $900, unless I can take a medevac in on the weekend. The last time I took a medevac and was late to work I got written up. I seriously doubt I'll be taking any more of those. :(
I suppose it wouldn't defray the expenses enough if I told you I'd buy the first round.

Seriously, though - if you ever do end up planning to go, let me know. It'd be the most convoluted TOUAMB meetup ever!
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