The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Achewood => Achewood => Topic started by: linnea on April 22, 2007, 07:28:03 pm
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http://martini.assetbar.com/achewood/home (http://martini.assetbar.com/achewood/home)
Sweet, I got "Somebody nice" as my username. So far I've just rated a few strips, and I guess that you can leave comments. Anyone else sign up for this shindig?
**EDIT** Fixed link, thanks Drastic.
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http://m.assetbar.com/achewood (http://m.assetbar.com/achewood)
Sweet, I got "Somebody nice" as my username. So far I've just rated a few strips, and I guess that you can leave comments. Anyone else sign up for this shindig?
Quoth the server: 404
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Quoth the server: 404
It must be flooded with crazed Achewood fans. I had a hell of a time with sending requests. It took a long time for me to be able to set up my profile because the server's overloaded.
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I was wondering when a thread for this would appear! Also, that link seems wrong, as this (http://martini.assetbar.com/achewood/home) works fine.
I am completely unable to register a user on there, though. It just reloads the page whenever I hit the 'join' box.
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I was wondering when a thread for this would appear! Also, that link seems wrong, as this (http://martini.assetbar.com/achewood/home) works fine.
I am completely unable to register a user on there, though. It just reloads the page whenever I hit the 'join' box.
I had to wait after trying to hit the "join" button about a million times. I guess that the server traffic ebbed just long enough for me to start a profile. Keep trying.
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There has never been a better time to put your money on information decay. Or to hedge against properly structured English-language paragraphs.
Come deeper into Achewood. Talk amongst yourselves. See a picture of a cute girl from Nova Scotia, or a boy named Hellos4Hubert.
So, we are being replaced by a place where people type sentence fragments in text-message speak? And you are all joining?
I guess I should try to join in case everyone disappears from here but I am kind of freaked out.
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OK, maybe I am an idiot, but how did you guys find this? I don't see a link on the main page.
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I'm, uh... kind of sad and scared.
Don't go, people I know can type whole sentences! It's cold on the rest of the Internet, and there are wolves.
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Fuck that shit.
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Heh, I'll try again then.
I found out about it through a bulletin on a site that does not deserve a name. I don't really see it as a way of replacing this place -- I suspect this place would remain even if achewood terminated. It might be useful for archival purposes though.
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I joined in a big hurry because of how traumatic I found it when I couldn't get the username wombat on flickr and gmail.
But after looking around... yeah, fuck that shit, pretty much.
Unless Onstad starts getting angry and closing down comments. Then I would be nostalgically tempted.
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I found out about it through a bulletin on a site that does not deserve a name.
No, please, tell me the worst. Where are those people coming from?
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Does Onstad have anything to do with it? It looks like something that could be applied to any site as some sort of adjunct.
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Well I doubt he wrote the code but he sure talks like he's got something to do with it. (http://m.assetbar.com/achewood/faq)
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I too am completely unable to join. Hitting the "join" button just refreshes the page.
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You know what? If someone else registers "V-Adore," I really don't care. Hell, I'm tempted to register it myself and only use it to post disturbing messages alluding to Mega Hugzz-related desire. If Onstad wants information decay, then information decay he shall have!
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Ok, it worked like butta with Safari but treats Firefox like some kind of bastard.
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Not working on Firefox or IE. Hmm.
Love this, also: This is Achewood's answer to that confusing glut of inscrutable text messages, video game blogs about RSS feed ringtones, and pictures of a kitten saying “IM ON UR HOTDOG EATING UR MUSTARD.”
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I'm, uh... kind of sad and scared.
Don't go, people I know can type whole sentences! It's cold on the rest of the Internet, and there are wolves.
Don't worry, you guys! I will stay now that I have regular, quasi-dependable internet access.
Onstad posted it as a bulletin on his MySpace page, and that's how I found it. By the time I went over there, 191 people had already joined. I think you can only see bulletins that your MySpace Friends post. Onstad also posted his "secret garage sales" on MySpace before posting the link on the Achewood main page.
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See, I knew Myspace was going to be the downfall of civilization. Don't say I didn't warn you. (http://touamb.com/index.php/topic,2696.msg61622.html#msg61622)
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Got Judy as an account, but I'm pretty sure everything I could want from that site is on TOUAMB.
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Wow, I signed up, but I have no energy. Rate the posts themselves? What the hell is that for?
Anyway, it looks like capitol "c" style Crap to me.
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That and this place has basically been an altar to his work for 3+ years and he's done the equivalent of sticking a pinky finger up our ass and yell "IT'S MILKING TIME".
I do find it kind of sadly ironic that, after years of on-and-off hostility against the message-board audience, he has decided that the proper discussion mode for his strip is something even shorter and more inane than message boards. Does he believe that more than "that rox d00d todd s teh awesum" being typed about any one strip constitutes fanfic?
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El Guapo, can you bring some of that goodness to this site? I think it'd be cool to rate the post.. Don't tell myspace about it though. Fuck that shit indeed.
Onstad really hates us.
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I do find it kind of sadly ironic that, after years of on-and-off hostility against the message-board audience, he has decided that the proper discussion mode for his strip is something even shorter and more inane than message boards.
Quoted for depressing truth. I am guessing that he thinks it will bring in a bigger part of the t-shirt-buying demographic. I suppose he has to make a living.
Rating the posts - it's just a totally lame version of awarding tiny cans.
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Hopefully this will result in some altruistic soul transcribing some more Achewoods onto ohno*****, but otherwise I'm pretty severely unimpressed. Whatever.
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I'm annoyed that the archive page on that thing lets you see thumbnails of a month's worth of strips at a time, whereas the archive page on the actual Achewood site does not. This is a useful feature.
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I wonder how long it'll take me to make 'stad hate that thing.
Oh you SO get a can for that.
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Alt-text has been disabled for some reason.
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I think Onstad, despite being Over Thirty, has the right idea about things, even if the implementation will be rocky as he makes the painful growth spurt to Web 2.0 trendiness.
Plus, I always thought TUOAMB was kinda gay and incestuous. Sorry.
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I love my dead, gay, touamb.
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I think Onstad, despite being Over Thirty, has the right idea about things, even if the implementation will be rocky as he makes the painful growth spurt to Web 2.0 trendiness.
Plus, I always thought TUOAMB was kinda gay and incestuous. Sorry.
You got a problem with that?
I have no idea what people are talking about when they talking about Web 2.0, but if this is an example, apparently it's the Web only uglier and more poorly organized?
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I wonder how long it'll take me to make 'stad hate that thing.
I am so on your team. And the game is on.
Also I am all about gay TOUAMB action. Anyone who doesn't recognise the beauty of gayness on the internet hasn't really enjoyed the internet to it's full potential. Get out there kids - there's things to explore and enjoy! (http://perezhilton.com/topics/wacky_tacky_true/how_do_we_explain_this_20070423.php)
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I have no idea what people are talking about when they talking about Web 2.0, but if this is an example, apparently it's the Web only uglier and more poorly organized?
Man, womb@, you are ten hells of canned.
If the "evolution" of the internet means more interactivity and more user-generated content at the cost of being completely incoherent... then I am totally hooking up my old 28.8.
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Wait, are you callin' me some kind of brother-fucker?
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And AW? Just 'cause you're a brother-humper is no reason not to be a gentle lover.
::KISS KISS::
Aw shucks, smoochy booches right back atcha.
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[Just, shave, dudes. All I ask.]
Yeah, those short and curlies tend to get caught in one's teeth.
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I would say that the web 2.0 thing is capable of being really well done and organized. But, as with all new things, it is sometimes ugly as fuck.
Ze Frank's "The Org," Facebook, Digg
vs
Myspace, this achewood abomination, myspace
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Pretty sure I saw a JOUGH DEPMPSEY IS A CHARLTATON in there somewhere. Good lord.
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I truly wish someone hadn't already made the "I love my dead gay TOUAMB" joke, because I wanted to, but in its stead, I'll say this:
Web 2.0 is like teenage suicide -- don't do it!
Anyway, guys, rock on. Ash, you and your 41 lames are my new heroes.
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Pretty sure I saw a JOUGH DEPMPSEY IS A CHARLTATON in there somewhere. Good lord.
Yeah, it is on page three of todays (4/25) comic. Anyone know who did that?
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That's okay Jough - I really dig the Charlatans. Us and Us Only is a seriously great CD and "Weirdo" is a crazy good song as well.
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That "thing" makes me wish I could take away the cans of everyone who uses it.
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Was I the only one to not notice until now that every strip on the main site now links to its assetbar counterpart?
That's sad. I liked the occasional hidden links to weird shit that may or may not have served as Onstad's inspiration for that strip, etc.
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Was I the only one to not notice until now that every strip on the main site now links to its assetbar counterpart?
That's sad. I liked the occasional hidden links to weird shit that may or may not have served as Onstad's inspiration for that strip, etc.
Thank you AmINaked.com!
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Was I the only one to not notice until now that every strip on the main site now links to its assetbar counterpart?
That's sad. I liked the occasional hidden links to weird shit that may or may not have served as Onstad's inspiration for that strip, etc.
Those hidden links are still there (http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11152005).
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Those hidden links are still there (http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11152005).
Harumph. But you'd be less likely to know it's linking somewhere else when it is linked as such. I'm not going to look at the statusbar's link target every time I look at a comic. He's already added a 'discuss' link next to the permalink -- I think leaving it just as that would've been much better.
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I am pretty sure that that will go away after a while. I hope anyways. He just has to get people to try it out, though, you know.
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Hey, what are you doing later?
Me and Tony are going to go over to the new Casino, Synergy. He knows some one that thinks he can get us into the Asset Bar.
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I wonder how long it'll take me to make 'stad hate that thing.
20+ cans, dogg.
Someone registered 'jough' already - I was going to get it just to keep someone else from using my name in vain, but now that I'm already represented, I figure I don't actually need to sign up there. Or read it ever.
I'm not sure if I should be annoyed or flattered that I'm a celebrity on someone else's site. I guess flattered.
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Pretty sure I saw a JOUGH DEPMPSEY IS A CHARLTATON in there somewhere. Good lord.
Oh no, they FOUND ME OUT.
Oh wait, that's not my name. Then, um, nevermind.
Anyway, all press is good press. Carry on, anonymous coward!
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I'm pretty sure a Charltaton is some kind of *****.
Some kinda mandroid version of Liebot.
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IS SO ACCURATE
WHO THIS IS PERSON WHO FINDING ME OUT?
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I think my main problem with it is both that there end up being too many comments, as well as having it use that treeview type of layout. You can't just look at the end of the list to see new posts, and when there are all kinds of branches coming down, it's pretty much impossible to figure out who's replying to whom. I don't need any more internet things taking up my time, and deciphering that comment listing is definitely not one to be added to the list.
So far, I am ambivalent about the comments posted. They aren't incredibly bad (ala youtube), but they tend toward fragment sentences of no import.
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Charltaton is the potato version of Charlton Heston.
Charltatron is a ***** version of potato Heston.
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Wow, the assetbar is almost as ugly as the new Fark.
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I know. I know. It's an assult on good design. I thought maybe if Onstad never actually posted to it, it would all make some sort of sense, but now it just strikes me as a much crappier verision of dumbrella. You know how you try out a new style of cusine, and it's just bad, but you keep eating it because you're hungry, then you get really sick of it and swear it off for good. Then you wait a really long time, and you go back and give it another try, only it's just as bad as before? This is the best we can hope for.
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Why so much hating on this thing? I like the dual karma function and comic rating functions. I think right now theres too many people commenting but that'll thin out.
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Why the hating you ask? Well never mind the crappy way it functions, the general ugliness of it's appearance, etc., look at history: way back Onstad ran an Achewood messageboard on Dumbrella. He got extremely pissy over having to manage it, lashing out even at nice people who were just there to pat him on the back, and closed it down. So he hated managing a message board? That's cool, you know, whatever. The general sentiment was "You go make your awesome comics, don't worry about no messageboard, we might make a messageboard in homage, but you don't need to pay it any attention if you don't want to." That was the beginning of this board. So it's a bit stupefying to see him throw up another board, and basically going down the same path as before. Why build a Starbucks across the street from another Starbucks if you used to run a Starbucks down the street and hated running that Starbucks?
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Why so much hating on this thing? I like the dual karma function and comic rating functions. I think right now theres too many people commenting but that'll thin out.
Because traditionally Onstad has been incredibly negative about reader feedback and discussion -- see, for example, Dumbrella, and his antics over on this board -- but now he's inexplicably embraced it again, except in a form that makes it almost impossible to actually convey meaningful informations or opinions and guarantees a "community" dominated by the lowest common denominator? Just a thought.
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I think touamb is a group of people who consume their internet in a distinctly late 1990s (or at least pre-Friendster / LJ) style and this... offering... is for those who are more modern in their habits... integrated with the content directly, providing metadata, all that jazz. Before we get snippy, let's remember that we're looking at version 0.5 or so (you basically can't develop modern web software past a certain point without letting the public test it) so sit back and wait and see if its something you care about.
Right now I'll say kudos on making it unobtrusive.
(Now how about those of us who consume our internet in an _early_ 90s style? Anyone want to set up an Achewood BBS or Gopher server?)
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egh. It's ugly and I hate it.
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I think touamb is a group of people who consume their internet in a distinctly late 1990s (or at least pre-Friendster / LJ) style and this... offering... is for those who are more modern in their habits... integrated with the content directly, providing metadata, all that jazz. Before we get snippy, let's remember that we're looking at version 0.5 or so (you basically can't develop modern web software past a certain point without letting the public test it) so sit back and wait and see if its something you care about.
Right now I'll say kudos on making it unobtrusive.
Yeah, I was just typing up something eerily similar to this, but I figured one of you cats would beat me to it. There's absolutely no reason these two places can't co-exist. Admittedly, I pretty much just lurk here, but I really enjoy stopping by to hear the reactions to the strips and whatnot, since people here tend to give opinions/observations of substance. This new thing is fun too, though; it's been a blast to go through the archive and see an ever-growing list of peoples' varying reactions to old favorites. They're just two very different experiences, and I think people who want a more in-depth discussion of Achewood are still going to find their way here.
I will say, though, that despite my respect for a lot of you here, it seems kinda crappy that the near-unanimous reaction to this feature has been to troll the hell out of it. Like, c'mon, guys. I realize there are some lingering sour grapes between folks here and Onstad, but that kind of behavior really reeks of Hunt's tomato ketchup.
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Why build a Starbucks across the street from another Starbucks if you used to run a Starbucks down the street and hated running that Starbucks?
Can'd. Smells is on a roll metaphor-wise these days.
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rargh
I dunno, I'd say "I wonder how long it'll take me to make 'stad hate that thing" definitely constitutes the intent to troll, and that "Hey! Look! Someone's good at copying shit!" is just plain trolling. But man, it's cool. You're free to be as butthurt as you want to be over a pretty inconsequential internet doodad. Just don't act indignant when people call you out for being a dick.
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(Now how about those of us who consume our internet in an _early_ 90s style? Anyone want to set up an Achewood BBS or Gopher server?)
I'm in! I want to Ask the Oracle about the underground, and maybe play some PimpWars with Beef.
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And I'm in a maze of twisty little passages all alike!
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Too bad I cant look back at this Onstad "Barn Burning" flame up. Sounds like quite a show.
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I'm in! I want to Ask the Oracle about the underground, and maybe play some PimpWars with Beef.
Aw, man, the Oracle. That shit was the bomb, yo. Entertainment straight from the days when e-mail was often the only part of the Internet people had access to.
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You are in front of a computer. There is a webcomic on the screen.
> Read comic.
You can't do that.
>Read webcomic.
The webcomic shows cats and toy bears playing softball while stoned.
>_
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Asset Bar? I thought it was Ass Bar. I'm serious.
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What name did Onstad post under here?
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Why build a Starbucks across the street from another Starbucks if you used to run a Starbucks down the street and hated running that Starbucks?
His Starbucks links to his store where people will be more likely to "click-through" and buy merchandise. This Starbucks doesn't do that; in fact, it links to Jough's T-shirt vendery somewhere, hence competition.
The artist is capitalizing on interactivity in the hopes that out of that mess, more people will buy his merchandise.
I don't particularly think this is a bad thing nor do I agree with the Onstad-bashing and calling him a hypocrite or a bad person or an Intarwebs dick. The artist has two truths on his side:
1) Everyone on the Internet is stupid and should be avoided whenever possible.
2) Bills need to be paid.
#2 trumps #1 hence Ass-Bar.
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Colemore, A-CAP:
Dude can do what he pleases, but this to me is a blanket marketing move hypocritical on the same levels as US Tobacco [warning:hyperbole]. He may be a great guy in person, I don't know or really care. But the inter-web presentation of himself is pretty stinking.
Unless you are actively buying merchandise, have bought merchandise, are likely to buy merchandise in the future or can otherwise significantly impact merchandise sales, then you are insignificant to him. The Dumbrella folks fall within the insignificance category. Assetbar is a dynamic, scalable Web 2.0 application that integrates with 'social networking' and the 'global village' to concentrate its 'added value' on the population that is significant to him: 'stoned college students with disposable income.'
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Unless you are actively buying merchandise, have bought merchandise, are likely to buy merchandise in the future or can otherwise significantly impact merchandise sales, then you are insignificant to him. The Dumbrella folks fall within the insignificance category. Assetbar is a dynamic, scalable Web 2.0 application that integrates with 'social networking' and the 'global village' to concentrate its 'added value' on the population that is significant to him: 'stoned college students with disposable income.'
Robust, enterprise level turn-key synergistic potheads.
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to reiterate: it's almost like he got the "substance" of web 2.whatever instead of the "style." Which is great and all, but... IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE PRETTY! COME ON!
I am in hell, when I look at his asset-website.
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Damn, Fark.com has gotten fuuuugly! I'm all for substance over style, but there's a point where the layout of a site actively turns you off from participating.
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This Starbucks doesn't do that; in fact, it links to Jough's T-shirt vendery somewhere, hence competition.
Is this true?! No wonder Onstad sees this place as a threat. It's pretty cheeky to set up a tribute to a webcomic then link stuff you're selling through it. It's not illegal or WRONG as such, just a bit cheeky.
This infighting is seriously weak, guys. I really enjoy reading this board- some hella intelligent discussion happening- but railing against this new (free) thing and threatening (even half-heartedly) to make Onstad hate it is really dumb.
I said it, de-can me at will. :'(
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Is this true?! No wonder Onstad sees this place as a threat. It's pretty cheeky to set up a tribute to a webcomic then link stuff you're selling through it. It's not illegal or WRONG as such, just a bit cheeky.
Yeah, well, Word Front doesn't sell anything Achewood related, though.
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This infighting is seriously weak, guys. I really enjoy reading this board- some hella intelligent discussion happening- but railing against this new (free) thing and threatening (even half-heartedly) to make Onstad hate it is really dumb.
I said it, de-can me at will. :'(
Seconded, seconded, seconded. I understand why people are annoyed with this (it kinda boils my cabbage too) but live and let live and all that. No matter how moronic the people get over there, I've still got Achewood and I still have a place to discuss it intelligently.
Also, who here can deny that the comments on AssBar didn't make you feel like a better human being by comparison?
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Also, who here can deny that the comments on AssBar didn't make you feel like a better human being by comparison?
Oh yes.
Also, interesting observation by Ash on how the format of the thing is inherently anti-thread-wandering. Which means all the less chance that Onstad will have to start admininstering the smackdowns and locking things, like small times.... unfortunately. It was the only thing I was looking forward to.
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Yeah, I can't say in the balance it bothers me that much. Onstad's strip, Onstad's rules; I think he's being a hypocrite, but I also think that's his right, and if he sells more shirts this way, more power to him. Merchandise support allows us all to have the comic, whether or not we're even remotely literate.
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Hey, I am all about bringing people who want actual conversation over here and keeping the fucktards over there. That is what I am about. Last I checked, a few of the horrible trolls from this board, including Geysershitdick, are over there. Basically it is already a universe bound to collapse in on itself.
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So long as I have the option of seeing the strip without that crap, I'm happy.
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Asherdan, someone linked this thread from an Achewood discussion thread on another board.
You are an enormous cock, I hope some day you can come to terms with this.
Thank you.
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It is awesome that other people are coming over to check us out.
AJ, while you're here, why not check out TOUAMB? Maybe you can grow a larger cock too... I mean, isn't calling a man an enormous cock a compliment? I mean, I think an enormous cock is a good thing... The fear of cock exposure and giant condoms in Achewood is an interesting theme.
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Say nice things about Asherdan's Cock.
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On the otherhand, I just picked up an achewood-enhancing tip from the assetbar: there's a Firefox extension called Long Titles that allows you to read the entire alt-text when it overflows the default buffer.
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Most assetbar commenters think three dollars is a good price for wine.
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How in the hell are you supposed to follow all the comment "threads" on that thing, I glanced it over earlier and it's all just.. indented a few spaces? is there some supar secret trick to making it look readable?
Also, "web 2.0" is the dumbest thing the media ever invented.
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Most assetbar commenters think three dollars is a good price for wine.
You never had Trader Joe's 3 Buck Chuck? That shit got a glowing endorsement on CNBC, The WSJ, and The Food Channel.
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You never had Trader Joe's 3 Buck Chuck? That shit got a glowing endorsement on CNBC, The WSJ, and The Food Channel.
I've had it and it's pretty decent. Tastes like wines that cost at least 50% more.
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Basically as long as I can still get Achewood as it is now from achewood.com I will happily trundle along and pretend that that assetbar thing doesn't exist.
If it changes so that I have to look at that hell of ugly site, well, I won't stop reading Achewood, but I won't be pleased.
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Basically as long as I can still get Achewood as it is now from achewood.com I will happily trundle along and pretend that that assetbar thing doesn't exist.
If it changes so that I have to look at that hell of ugly site, well, I won't stop reading Achewood, but I won't be pleased.
Man alive you can't hate on something just cause it's ugly.
Otherwise no one would be friends with Jough.
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well, you know, Jough can't help it. The website can be fixed easily.
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Also I don't have to look at Jough each time I want to read the latest Achewood.
Unless Onstad institutes Jough-O-Vision.
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Also I don't have to look at Jough each time I want to read the latest Achewood.
Unless Onstad institutes Jough-O-Vision.
That would be like the Magical Mexican Realism camera, only far more enervating.
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Jough-O-Vision.
All Jough hacking into the website each day as the comic is uploaded.
All an embedded flash video of him presenting the comic in a sexy little dress.
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All Jough hacking into the website each day as the comic is uploaded.
All an embedded flash video of him presenting the comic in a sexy little dress.
Thank you, I always wanted to know what it was like to vomit out my kidneys.
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I'm thinking if this happens Jough will be breaking through the wall all critiquing the comic Simon Le Cowell style
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As I am a huge fan of strange obscure protests against things that no one will ever notice but are funny to, like, five people... perhaps the posting-ranking "Onstad's Left Shoe" should be turned into something appropos to these current issues.
At 1500 posts, you become "Down with Asset Bar!" or some such.
Only five of us would giggle but OH, how we would giggle.
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Among the many ways in which this thing sucks is that I can't seem to stay logged in. If I come back the next day it still looks like I am logged in - my name and picture are still up there at the corner of the screen - but then when I click on anything it says something like "We are having trouble figuring out who you are, please relogin."
Well DANG look up at the corner of the screen where it SAYS who I am.
Between this and there being no way to identify new posts since last time... with all the messageboards in the world these days, is this really the best software he could find?
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Among the many ways in which this thing sucks is that I can't seem to stay logged in. If I come back the next day it still looks like I am logged in - my name and picture are still up there at the corner of the screen - but then when I click on anything it says something like "We are having trouble figuring out who you are, please relogin."
Well DANG look up at the corner of the screen where it SAYS who I am.
Oh wow, I had the exact same reaction. "You can't figure out who I am? It says who I am right there!"
Assbar people.
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I took a look... gave it a shot. I would be very sad if that were the only means I had to communicate to others about Achewood. Thankfully, that is not the case.
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yeah I tried it out. It is cool to post on old strips, but the "reply" feature makes the new strips a pain in the ass to get through. I probably won't use it again.
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This was added just in time for people getting high RIGHT THIS MINUTE to post all their great ideas about the storyline.
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I am always getting high right this minute, and this does not appeal to me.
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DO NOT TAKE ME SO SERIOUSLY
It's bad for my self image
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This was added just in time for people getting high RIGHT THIS MINUTE to post all their great ideas about the storyline.
I bet he's getting deluged with requests for the Stoned Lightning shirts.
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I DON'T LIKE THIS.
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I DON'T LIKE THIS.
I can no longer click on 'archive', hit control-F and search for a keyword (for example, if I wanted a strip on Roast Beef's depression, I'd type "depression" and Firefox would highlight it using Technicolor Grep-O-Vision).
Instead I get something with thumbnails and I have to create an account to do things and categorizing by date and not being able to search by witty titles.
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I can no longer click on 'archive', hit control-F and search for a keyword (for example, if I wanted a strip on Roast Beef's depression, I'd type "depression" and Firefox would highlight it using Technicolor Grep-O-Vision).
Instead I get something with thumbnails and I have to create an account to do things and categorizing by date and not being able to search by witty titles.
http://www.achewood.com/list.php (http://www.achewood.com/list.php) still links to the old archive. Don't know for how long, though.
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Wow, I just took a look at AssBar, and it's just gotten a whole lot shittier. No one is saying anything deeper than "I liked it" without a shit storm hitting them from all directions. And I'm not just talking about Ash. There are obviously people there interested in getting in to an actual dialogue who are basically being told to shut the fuck up unless they're there to keep it banal. Hopefully people who are interested in actual converstaion will head over here.
If you're a n00b reading this, please consider signing up here. Don't let the people on AssBar who are critical of TOUAMB confuse you - a lot of them are former trolls of this board who expressed extremely psychotic behavior before they were sent on their way. The doors are open here. You can have an actual opinion here. Huuugs!
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That really is astounding, what's going on over there. 49 comments, and right now only seven survive - one of which is an admin post, and I'm guessing protected. I don't know whether to join in the fun or let it be.
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So yea this whole thing went to shit at supersonic speed.
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I was going to join so I could take a look at it, but some douchebag already registered as "jough" (like, on the first day) and I figured I wouldn't bother. I have no idea what Fake Jough is saying over there, but I hope it includes stuff about alcoholism and wife-beating. That way it'll be like I'm posting there myself.
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Fake Jough doesn't seem to be posting, in case you're worried. Otherwise, don't worry. You're really not missing much.
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Um. Late in the discussion, but kind of happy to, after all the dust has settled. Kinda like talking to the backs of everyone leaving the room, but.
I think TOUAMB is the place to bitch unintelligently (or even intelligently, we won't judge) about Achewood. Can't imagine myself going to Onstad's board and complaining about my free entertainment, it would be like going to his door and pissing on it. But here it's all fair - also love for posts with more than one paragraph, properly spelled and punctuated, which is always nice as it lends an aura of gravitas and much relevance to nitpicky remarks about cartoon cat cock. TOUAMB, you are the place to talk about cartoon cat cock, and no one will take that from you.
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You could always register as "the real jough" and... just occasionally mention, in passing, how your job involves fighting ghosts in a jalopy with a gorilla. Not like often, just really sly. "Well, it's like I say when my gorilla and I are capturing a ghost..."
If it would make you feel any better, if I ever posted on assbar, I would occasionally hint at the idea that the Hammerman cartoon was based mostly on real concepts and that the reason MC Hammer's career went down the shitter was that he lost his magical shoes, I found them and am a superhero of some kind.
All of our backstories could subtly involve plot elements from forgotten cartoons.
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All of our backstories could subtly involve plot elements from forgotten cartoons.
This is a pretty classic idea. I'm very much tempted.
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- also love for posts with more than one paragraph, properly spelled and punctuated, which is always nice as it lends an aura of gravitas and much relevance to nitpicky remarks about cartoon cat cock.
Hear, hear.
I think Jough has the right idea, delegating someone to post for him on Assbar. Speaking of which did it really never occur to them that that product/company name was so easily open to ridicule?
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You want to hear a company name that wasn't well thought out when it comes to abbreviation? Through the children's theatre I was recently in touch with the Manitoba Childcare Association, and while I was on the phone with them, I jotted down some notes. I went back to the notes a few days later: "Call the Man. Child. Ass." What?!
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I know it was something that we thought about a lot when it came to naming our kid. It was my responsibility to examine candidate names and initials for potential to humiliate. I wish my brother-in-law had done the same. My niece's initials are E.A.T., which some of her less sympathetic classmates have exploited.
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my former classmate Kelly had the initials KAT, while her brother Richard was RAT.
PS my friend Bryan saw MC Hammer, and his ##### ripped at the crotch mid-song. He was wearing BVD's.
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You want to hear a company name that wasn't well thought out when it comes to abbreviation? Through the children's theatre I was recently in touch with the Manitoba Childcare Association, and while I was on the phone with them, I jotted down some notes. I went back to the notes a few days later: "Call the Man. Child. Ass." What?!
I do a bunch of luciferase reporter assays at work, and I save the results as Excel files with the name format "reporterassayDD_MM_YY".
Unfortunately, Windows doesn't display the whole name, so my computer desktop is covered in files named "reporterass...".
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My wife's initials were SEW. Now that we're married, they're SEE. She likes the fact that her initials spelled a word before AND that they still do now.
I remember a girl in elementary school whose middle name was Renee. She said her parents intended to give her the middle name of Serena, but then that would have made her initials ASS. They should have rolled with it, I say.
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My initals are PM and my sisters initials are AM (or they were). When we were young we had seperate water bottles in the fridge labeled PM and AM which caused some confusion among guest on a number of occasions.
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If I end up marrying the SO and taking his name, my initials will be ARC. This bothers me a little for some reason, although I think it may just be an attachment to my V.
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Any woman should maintain good feelings toward her V, before and after marriage.
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one thing I noticed about the new setup that I don't believe has been mentioned is that some of the comics lost quality when they were transferred (ie: the spotty greyscaling here (http://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uua243gbF)).
but I don't really see the whole Assetbar thing lasting very long, so I suppose it doesn't matter that much.
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Yeah, I noticed that too.
Also, I basically find the people there terrifying.
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Oh, reposting this link that I promised:
http://touamb.com/images/onstad/
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I'm not sure whether it's encouraging or depressing that Onstad looks just as dorky as the rest of us.
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wow, yeah. I would totally be his TOUAMB friend. Too bad he writes the thing, he could probably be a cool guy.
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I am not sure what to think about Jough having kept all these pictures. Thorough documentation, or creepy-stalkery?
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That depends. Does he just keep them in a folder on his C drive, or has he printed them out and constructed a shrine?
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But isn't a folder on your C drive the new bedroom shrine? All having a slideshow of the pictures as a screensaver...
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Oddly, I find my mental image of Onstad pretty well matches reality. That happens so rarely. I'm usually very bad at inferring someone's appearance from their written work.
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For some reason I now think of him as looking like Orson Welles, even though he doesn't. And so now I'm thinking... he looks like Q.
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They were on plagiarist for years - I just moved them over to TOUAMB.
That's the thing about posting stuff on the internet - it never really goes away.
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I had a running coach in highschool whose initials were P.E.E. and that's what it said on his water bottle. That was damn funny. In high school.
Yeah, I'm 25 and live in lazyfuckrocknrolltown, Georgia, which isn't all that different from NoCal aside from being a bit dirtier, poorer, and drunker (replace talking about the internet, stoned with talking about bands that will never go anywhere, wasted, and you're there) and O looks a lot like my older friends here. A good sign. There's nothing more easily satisfying than the slow sizzle of a really quick mind, well educated, being put out to pasture well before its prime. I'll gladly sacrifice the world's achievements for more languid prose, open source software, gaping beautiful jokes, underground cartoons, failed artists, and land collectives. I think we van-dwelling types are getting bumped and nudged into tinier and tinier corners of the country, and eventually we're going to fall off, to Canada, to Eastern Europe, to some other first world in exile, or for those with paradoxical guts, the vast still living culture of South America. It's a weird time to be alive. I think we're in the preamble to something really really interesting. The Nineteen-teens to somebody's Roaring Twenties.
Let's misspend our talents, bounce paychecks and fuck off, make sure we're unnatached when the next weird thing comes, maybe even help nudge the next weird thing into existence, it's a lot more interesting in the long run. The real world has more than enough axe grinders.
And I need to sleep.
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went to graduation to see my friends graduate. A whole room full of kids basically put on track to become nice little businessmen and homemakers. Maybe a couple will be english majors and get shitty jobs, just to make it more diverse. They will live in houses on Queens Rd or Myers Park, where all the really nice old houses are. They will drive Mercedes or BMW. Their kids will go to the same high-school, or its equivalent wherever they move. They are Southern with a capital S, well-educated, and affluent. They are heading off to schools like Sewanee, Duke, Georgia, and UNC. The real smart ones are heading to the Ivy Leagues, or to UVA or UNC or somesuch with a nice scholarship.
I want that. As much as I spend my time pretending I'm not like everyone else ever to graduate from that goddamn school, I love the fuck out of it. I love the fact that I couldn't stand the kids there half the time, but really they were all reasonably good people. I love the fake politeness. I love the endless legions of gorgeous blonde girls in cute polos and skirts. I love the dads who either work at Wachovia, work at Bank of America, or are lawyers/doctors. I want to be them. Why? I want to be a fuck*ng rat in the rat race. I want my kids to have southern accents, and I want to have a son with a "III" after his name (even though this couldn't happen, as there isn't a II).
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME? I spent all of high-school saying I would never be like them. now, I'm still not, but I want to be. My parents would most likely be really relieved, but really disappointed at the same time. I am bitter about my lack of cynicality when appraising this lifestyle.
(this is in response to colmore I guess. My gut urges are all in the opposite direction from his... even though my intellect whole-heartedly embraces smashing the status quo and all that jazz. Including Jazz.)
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went to graduation to see my friends graduate. A whole room full of kids basically put on track to become nice little businessmen and homemakers. Maybe a couple will be english majors and get shitty jobs, just to make it more diverse. They will live in houses on Queens Rd or Myers Park, where all the really nice old houses are. They will drive Mercedes or BMW. Their kids will go to the same high-school, or its equivalent wherever they move. They are Southern with a capital S, well-educated, and affluent. They are heading off to schools like Sewanee, Duke, Georgia, and UNC. The real smart ones are heading to the Ivy Leagues, or to UVA or UNC or somesuch with a nice scholarship.
I want that. As much as I spend my time pretending I'm not like everyone else ever to graduate from that goddamn school, I love the fuck out of it. I love the fact that I couldn't stand the kids there half the time, but really they were all reasonably good people. I love the fake politeness. I love the endless legions of gorgeous blonde girls in cute polos and skirts. I love the dads who either work at Wachovia, work at Bank of America, or are lawyers/doctors. I want to be them. Why? I want to be a fuck*ng rat in the rat race. I want my kids to have southern accents, and I want to have a son with a "III" after his name (even though this couldn't happen, as there isn't a II).
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME? I spent all of high-school saying I would never be like them. now, I'm still not, but I want to be. My parents would most likely be really relieved, but really disappointed at the same time. I am bitter about my lack of cynicality when appraising this lifestyle.
(this is in response to colmore I guess. My gut urges are all in the opposite direction from his... even though my intellect whole-heartedly embraces smashing the status quo and all that jazz. Including Jazz.)
I remember a quote that said something about... "if you're not anti-establishment when you're young, you've got no heart. If you haven't grown up and become the establishment, well, you've got no brain."
My pissed-off rudegrrrrl 15-year-old self would kick my ass if she could see me now. She would think that I sold out. And indeed I have, and I have a great life with insanely great medical benefits and two adorable fuzzy Scottish Folds.
Like everyone, I'd like to be wealthy someday...of course, I may not tithe to the church but I am 100% down with giving money to kickass progressive organizations with pissed-off young activists who can afford to spend their time fighting for what's right because codgers like me help bankroll them. It's my compromise of having a shitty day job with excellent benefits and a regular paycheck, while still supporting progressive leftist causes. I'm still a riot grrrl underneath my complacent fluffiness, comfy jeans, sweater, and hiking boots.
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I always thought it was winston Churchill and that the quote was "if you aren't a liberal at 20 you have no heart, if your not a conservative at 50 you have no brain", but, it turns out, (based on Wikipedia) that "this quote was first uttered by mid-nineteenth century historian and statesman François Guizot when he observed, Not to be a republican at 20 is proof of want of heart; to be one at 30 is proof of want of head. This quote has been attributed variously to George Bernard Shaw, Benjamin Disraeli, Otto von Bismarck, and others."
I haven't sold out yet, but I can sort of understand what inev is talking about, only not really. When it comes down to it, I want to be comfortable, right? I don't know, and I haven't changed yet, but I probably will. I think it is way too late for me to see the world like those folks, though.
And, since it is of minor relevance, my favorite Churchill anecdote is this: (and thanks to Wikipedia I find this isn't his either)
* Churchill: Madam, would you sleep with me for five million pounds?
Socialite: My goodness, Mr. Churchill... Well, I suppose... we would have to discuss terms, of course...
Churchill: Would you sleep with me for five pounds?
Socialite: Mr. Churchill, what kind of woman do you think I am?!
Churchill: Madam, we've already established that. Now we are haggling about the price.
(This is a very old joke where the partici****** vary dramatically from each telling. It's very unlikely though not impossible that the joke originated from Churchill. (This joke came from George Bernard Shaw, not Churchill))
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so. I realize after further thought that I would be pretty disgusted with myself if I did that stuff. Really, I only feel that way in certain situations... mostly involving a certain group of friends who are destined to become their parents.
Also relevant: it took a kid I hate getting a "headmaster's award" for basically being awesome to remind me... that that school is often pretty hypocritical and fake. At least, the administration.
that school is built on the back of shit like... not letting my friend walk at graduation because he hadn't shaved in a week (we had a week off from school before graduation) and it was against school rules to have facial hair. They told him to shave it, and he said "no."
Then he immediately ran, got in his car, and drove to Eckerd's to get a razor and shave. apparently he didn't make it back in time.
(to clarify, this kid had a history of fuck*ng with them. he probably shouldn't have graduated based on how many days he skipped, and, lemme tell you... nobody skipped at that school.)
so yeah, crisis averted. I'm not going to start wearing polos with madras anytime soon.
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I'd like to just get in here and say fuck a bunch of that shit. Jesus, did you see how far he cleared that shark by?
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OK, today, to my horror, Ass-bar was actually worth reading. Someone linked to a couple of blog posts about a SF restaurant that once had a real, famously rude waiter called Edsel Ford Wong, brother of Henry Ford Wong.
I am not sure if I am pleased or disappointed to learn that there was a real-life counterpart, but, you know, education.
Also, I seem to recall that yesterday there was a link to a funny photograph.
The foundation of my world is quaking, people!
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Wombles, you will be fine if you never read the ass again. I never have, and I never will.
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I've never read the Ass, because it requires you to register and log in, and someone already took the name I'd use.
Ah well.
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I've never read the Ass, because it requires you to register and log in, and someone already took the name I'd use.
I'll bet Onstad did it.
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I'll bet Onstad did it.
Oh fuck - now THAT'S funny.
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I've never read the Ass, because it requires you to register and log in, and someone already took the name I'd use.
Ah well.
I'll bet Onstad did it.
Oh fuck - now THAT'S funny.
DUE TO PUNISHMENT! Daaamn!
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Does he post things about getting drunk and beating his own wife?
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Does he post things about getting drunk and beating his own wife?
I wouldn't put it past him - remember the open letter to the greeting card companies?
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No.
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No.
That's worth a can, I guess. I wish I didn't.
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I want that. As much as I spend my time pretending I'm not like everyone else ever to graduate from that goddamn school, I love the fuck out of it. I love the fact that I couldn't stand the kids there half the time, but really they were all reasonably good people. I love the fake politeness. I love the endless legions of gorgeous blonde girls in cute polos and skirts. I love the dads who either work at Wachovia, work at Bank of America, or are lawyers/doctors. I want to be them. Why? I want to be a fuck*ng rat in the rat race. I want my kids to have southern accents, and I want to have a son with a "III" after his name.
I LOVE THE SOUTH AND THE PEOPLE THERE.
My boyfriend and I just went up north (his first time past baltimore) to visit my family, and I found myself hankering for y'all.
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Indeed. The South is where it's at, y'all.
Although now, post-move, my wife is getting mad because I've almost drawn the "might could/might would/might should" into my normal speech pattern.
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...people say that here? really?
I am starting to feel like having grown up here without developing a Southern Accent is like...
I can't even think of what it's like. Basically I really wish that I had one.
So now I have to marry a girl with a southern accent, and move to the south, thus ensuring that my children will have said accents.
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Indeed. The South is where it's at, y'all.
Although now, post-move, my wife is getting mad because I've almost drawn the "might could/might would/might should" into my normal speech pattern.
Personally, I use "might oughta."
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my roommate uses "fi'n ta," as in "fixing to."
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A thing people say here at work is "took and" - as in "I took and cleaned the truck" or "so we took and spotted the heaters". It is a filler. I think it might be from the midwest.
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I have become fond of "might could" and "might should," although I really couldn't tell you why. As filler words, they seem to have a certain grace and meaning-broadening that "fixing to" and similar don't quite for me.
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I live in the capital of the midwest and I've never heard that.
In Pittsburgh they say that things "needs fixed" instead of "needs fixin'" like they do down south.
Of course, the Pittsburghians are a weird lot anyway. I mean, yunz? What's up with that?
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You people are talking non-sense. Seriously I can't understand half of these bastardizations of the language.... eh?
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Philistines
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I am from the Northwest, and yet time served in the military sneakily inserted such southernisms as "Bouttagonna" and "Usedtacould" into my lexicon. It simultaneously shames and amuses me. Further, it shocks my fellow northwesterners, who speak with a predominately "Starbucks" dialect. Riling them brings me a twinge of glee.
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Whoa, alt-text is now functional on AssBar. Onstad posted beneath today's today's Friday Facts (http://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uuafT4CCF) by Philippe.
assetbar_admin » neu 5 hours ago
Yup, alt text is now working. Thanks for noticing.
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I have to stop reading AssBar, because the AssBar commentary is about 9 million rungs below YouTube commenters and I swear that brain cells commit suicide each time I click on an Achewood comic and absentmindedly scroll down. Jesus. Every time I read it I'm sorry that I expended the effort. Some fug posted Calvin and Hobbes pornographic furry fanfic. Thanks a lot, asshole. I could have gone the rest of my life without knowing that crap like that exists. I should have realized that no matter how low the bar is set, some goon is going to come through and deliberately post shit.
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I've never seen this Assetbar dingus, but from the way it is described, I am stunned that anyone has enough spare time to check it out, especially more than once.
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I've never seen this Assetbar dingus, but from the way it is described, I am stunned that anyone has enough spare time to check it out, especially more than once.
Well, it doesn't take too much effort. Hover your penis over the comic to read the alt-text, and accidentally click, and you're there.
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I have become fond of "might could" and "might should," although I really couldn't tell you why. As filler words, they seem to have a certain grace and meaning-broadening that "fixing to" and similar don't quite for me.
I thought I would say that since reading this, I have begun to notice that the more Southern of my friends say this constantly. I never noticed it before, and it's charming.
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Has someone already remarked that there are a lot of the strips in the archive that have been colored by Onstad? Do you think he colorized them as part of the subscriber archives? Has anyone here paid for the subscriber archives? I bet they're really good. I'm going to subscribe and get myself another t-shirt as soon as I get a real job. It's lookin' good because I have an interview with the place I really, REALLY wanna work on September 5.
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Has someone already remarked that there are a lot of the strips in the archive that have been colored by Onstad?
Really? Which ones?
Do you think he colorized them as part of the subscriber archives? Has anyone here paid for the subscriber archives? I bet they're really good. I'm going to subscribe and get myself another t-shirt as soon as I get a real job. It's lookin' good because I have an interview with the place I really, REALLY wanna work on September 5.
I saw the stuff on serializer.net back when it was... on serializer.net, and it was okay, but there wasn't that much there and it was rarely updated, so I didn't feel like I was getting much for my subscription money (a large portion of it was Nate Small stuff, too, which never grabbed me). Getting it all at once for $12 might be worth it (though it seems a little pricey to me), but I wouldn't want to pay for it now to get the same stuff I already paid for before. It seems a little weird to ask for subscriptions to content that will never be updated, but, you know, whatever.
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Really? Which ones?
I saw the stuff on serializer.net back when it was... on serializer.net, and it was okay, but there wasn't that much there and it was rarely updated, so I didn't feel like I was getting much for my subscription money (a large portion of it was Nate Small stuff, too, which never grabbed me). Getting it all at once for $12 might be worth it (though it seems a little pricey to me), but I wouldn't want to pay for it now to get the same stuff I already paid for before. It seems a little weird to ask for subscriptions to content that will never be updated, but, you know, whatever.
I was reading through some of the '02 archives and there were a lot of colorized strips there that I did not remember being colorized before. I also had the Serializer subscription back in the day.
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You know what's awesome?
Reading four month's worth of thread at a single sitting. This thread is more hilarious than I could have hoped for.
I vaguely remember being sort of pissed when 'stad came out with the "discuss" links, etc, but never checked it out 'til today. All I have to say is: Yikes.
Also, I would like to point out that when we came over to Plagiarist, Jough and I were in talks with Onstad and offered him merchandising links and such, and he told us in no uncertain terms that he wanted nothing whatsoever to do with us. Didn't even want the URL. "Never let me know where to find it" was his comment to me when I approached him about bringing the community elsewhere. And we never did. When he found us, he did so on his own. And then he was a dickhead.
So, I figure if he's actually reading this AssBar crap, he deserves whatever he gets.
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You know what's awesome?
Reading four month's worth of thread at a single sitting. This thread is more hilarious than I could have hoped for.
I vaguely remember being sort of pissed when 'stad came out with the "discuss" links, etc, but never checked it out 'til today. All I have to say is: Yikes.
Also, I would like to point out that when we came over to Plagiarist, Jough and I were in talks with Onstad and offered him merchandising links and such, and he told us in no uncertain terms that he wanted nothing whatsoever to do with us. Didn't even want the URL. "Never let me know where to find it" was his comment to me when I approached him about bringing the community elsewhere. And we never did. When he found us, he did so on his own. And then he was a dickhead.
So, I figure if he's actually reading this AssBar crap, he deserves whatever he gets.
The shit on there is so embarrassing. Any vaguely critical comments I made about any strip were immediately blocked as "lame" and then ten million rabid fanboys just start sputtering. It's a total waste of time.
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Hmmm. Yeah, I ain't stunned. It's not surprising to me that he didn't want anything to do with it, and it also isn't surprising that he can't resist looking in now and again. That poor bastard.
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That poor bastard.
Yeah. That poor poor extremely talented bastard. When he gets tired of making a living sufficient to support himself in the wilds of Northern California by being a humorist on the internet, he has to put up with the fawning comments of dozens of devoted fans. If he's feeling really masochistic he can stop by here and search around (in this vast sea of accolades) for a slightly critical post or an exercise in sarcastic humorous hyperbole.
I pity the poor tormented wretch.
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On the few occasions I chatted with him over AIM, he reminded me of a guy I dated in college named Burke. (Well, it's his last name, but it's what everyone calls him.) Nobody could believe I even spoke to him, let alone went out with him, because he was basically a dick to people at every opportunity. But he was really clever about it, and seemed incredibly witty and well-read, so I struck up a conversation with him at a party once and it turned out he was basically a nice person who was socially awkward and lonely and insecure, and used his sarcastic wit as a defense mechanism -- pick on someone else before they pick on you.
But we got to be good friends and eventually started dating (Pedro was trying to "find himself," apparently he thought he should start by looking in the B-cups of every co-ed in his building). He turned out to be a really sweet, attentive, and devoted boyfriend -- even though he knew I wasn't interested for the long haul. He was five years older than me, and he was good friends with Pedro, so he basically considered himself in the role of "keeping me warm" for him, which my feminist half instinctively rails against, but in actuality turned out to be a lot of fun. I don't know what he was so insecure about. I mean, his cock was huge.
So essentially what I am saying, here, is that if Onstad were confident in his brilliance, he probably wouldn't need us to tell him how great he is. But he isn't, so he does. Not that I'm criticizing. After all, why the hell do you think I come here? If I were any more insecure, I'd print out y'all's responses to my posts and hang them on my wall.
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I've always thought we as a board might be too hung up on this subject.
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On the few occasions I chatted with him over AIM, he reminded me of a guy I dated in college named Burke. (Well, it's his last name, but it's what everyone calls him.) Nobody could believe I even spoke to him, let alone went out with him, because he was basically a dick to people at every opportunity. But he was really clever about it, and seemed incredibly witty and well-read, so I struck up a conversation with him at a party once and it turned out he was basically a nice person who was socially awkward and lonely and insecure, and used his sarcastic wit as a defense mechanism -- pick on someone else before they pick on you.
But we got to be good friends and eventually started dating (Pedro was trying to "find himself," apparently he thought he should start by looking in the B-cups of every co-ed in his building). He turned out to be a really sweet, attentive, and devoted boyfriend -- even though he knew I wasn't interested for the long haul. He was five years older than me, and he was good friends with Pedro, so he basically considered himself in the role of "keeping me warm" for him, which my feminist half instinctively rails against, but in actuality turned out to be a lot of fun. I don't know what he was so insecure about. I mean, his cock was huge.
So essentially what I am saying, here, is that if Onstad were confident in his brilliance, he probably wouldn't need us to tell him how great he is. But he isn't, so he does. Not that I'm criticizing. After all, why the hell do you think I come here? If I were any more insecure, I'd print out y'all's responses to my posts and hang them on my wall.
So are you implying Onstad has a huge cock?
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I knew somebody would go there. Glad it was you, Bobby.
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People's responses to one's own work is always really interesting. It's really hard to not read one's own reviews. I've had one horrible, horrible review, and I'll remember it to this day. It called one of my plays a "trite reproduction of the Breakfast Club" and was written by a reporter for the Real Estate section. I still have no idea why someone from the Real Estate section was sent to see my play.
Anyway, on the other hand, after the most significant presentation of one of my works so far, I hurried into the bathroom the moment the performance ended to avoid hearing people chatting about what they'd seen. The bathroom was a poor choice, as I found myself in a stall as more and more people flooded in and stood talking about the play while waiting for their chance to pee. I was hiding in a stall, when I heard someone being carried into the bathroom weeping, and settled into a chair.
Person 1: Here, you can sit here..
Person 2: Ohhhh...*sniffles*
Person 1: Are you going to be alright?
Person 2: Yes. It was... It was so beautiful.
Person 1: I know. It was great.
Person 2: *sniffles, blows nose* She got it right. She just got it right.
Person 1: I know, and she's so young! How old is she?
Person 2: I don't know...
Person 3: *entering* Oh - you're crying. You're crying! I was crying too.
Person 1: Me too.
Person 3: That's why I had to duck in here... My make-up!
Basically at that point, I couldn't take it any more, so I came out of the stall - to silence - washed my hands, smiled politely. Then they all recognized me and wanted to shake my hand... but there were no paper towels... I got some toilet paper, dried off, shook hands... hugged the crying lady... suddenly everyone in the bathroom wanted to talk to me, but eventually I excused myself and went to the lobby. It was nice to hear the praise, but actually odd and disturbing to know I'd moved a group of strangers so deeply. I don't like thinking about that kind of power. I just like telling stories. Having an audience is ancillary to something I just sort of need to do. I always say writing, for me, is like vomiting when one is very, very drunk: awful, but necessary to get the poisen out. My need to tell is much stronger than my need to be heard... I don't know if this is the case for Onstad, but I know a lot of artists who work this way. The audience is an odd creature if you don't write for adulation.
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this, like all stories of people crying in public, makes me think of the movie Dolls. After seeing it for our film class, a friend of mine stood in the middle of the hall BAWLING like a little baby for like 10 minutes. He was completely breaking down.
I thought he was kidding, and then it was really awkward when I realized he was serious.
But for real, Smells, you have hell of weepy-powerz, you should use this for good and not evil starting immediately. Take tears from the rich and give laffs to the poor!
(por favor take this as a joke, and not as me saying you should use your writing ability to write plays to Mobilize the Proletariat or whatever. Write whatever you damn well want to, please.)
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Yeah. That poor poor extremely talented bastard. When he gets tired of making a living sufficient to support himself in the wilds of Northern California by being a humorist on the internet, he has to put up with the fawning comments of dozens of devoted fans. If he's feeling really masochistic he can stop by here and search around (in this vast sea of accolades) for a slightly critical post or an exercise in sarcastic humorous hyperbole.
I pity the poor tormented wretch.
You ever hear of Kurt Cobain? I wonder if anyone ever had this sort of conversation about him?
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Well, and I think somewhere else we mentioned tortured artists and how sometimes maybe they don't want to fuck with the delicate chemical balance in their heads even if it would make them feel better, on the off-chance that they might lose the art. Anyway, I guess I am saying that being so 'addicted'? to finding out what everyone feels about your art, and then kicking yourself in the ass if people don't like it must kind of suck. I am lucky, I go do my job, and nobody really gives a shit how it goes - it is not a reflection on my heart/soul. I just am smart about what makes oil wells tick. If I don't get it right, we try again. I am not making a piece of art, and pouring it all out there, only to go on a message board and find some anonymous cock-mouth living in Portland Oregon who says "fuck, he had all day to draw the strip and he came up with something Jonny Hart would have been embarassed to publish. Worst. Talking Cat. Ever."
What I am saying is that if I were dependent on the public for my living, I'd have a worse drinking problem than I do now.
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You ever seen those oil wells Nabu makes? Man, do they suck. But hey, I'm just a 13 year old in Ohio.
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You ever seen those oil wells Nabu makes? Man, do they suck. But hey, I'm just a 13 year old in Ohio.
TINY CAN. (edit, yay! We're tied for cannage).
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it makes me really glad when I get to wash dishes at work. No one has ever brought back a dish because it wasn't clean the way they wanted it. It is clean, or it is dirty.
The dishes I clean are Clean, is what I am saying.
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Inev's got MAD CLEANIN' SKILLZ, yo. HEZ IN UR KICHIN CLEENIN UR DISHEZ
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Or mad low level OCD.
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Inev's got MAD CLEANIN' SKILLZ, yo. HEZ IN UR KICHIN CLEENIN UR DISHEZ
Don't . . . do that. You're better than that.
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I've actually had a terrible cold this week, this might be affecting me.
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Don't . . . do that. You're better than that.
You have no idea how much the PLEASE, DO NOT MENTION THAT HERE thing irks me. No fuck*ng idea.
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You have no idea how much the PLEASE, DO NOT MENTION THAT HERE thing irks me. No fuck*ng idea.
You know, the whole internet meme thing has become like the worst possible realization of SNL catchphrases. It's like every day the internet screams at me "The Nabunator! Makin' the copies! Nabu-doodle-doo! Copying things! The Brush-Man!"
I wish I was dead. Or I wish I were dead. Either may be used.
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You know, the whole internet meme thing has become like the worst possible realization of SNL catchphrases. It's like every day the internet screams at me "The Nabunator! Makin' the copies! Nabu-doodle-doo! Copying things! The Brush-Man!"
I wish I was dead. Or I wish I were dead. Either may be used.
Is that seriously the correct english construction? It sounds dubious as to whether you wish you had been dead and then brought back, like via necromancer magic.
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Which construction are you questioning? I hope it's the second one, I'd like to think that the fussy old English subjunctive is dying out with You Kids Today.
But what I wish is that I had the slightest idea what the rest of Nabu's post meant.
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Here ya go. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wF3r4iBVrUg) And may God have mercy on your soul.
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Well, now I am even more confused... Wasn't Saturday Night Live a show that was supposed to be funny?
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I've seen Saturday Night Live many times, but I don't remember it ever being funny. I thought it was a compendium of "think pieces" wherein people would present performance art pieces.
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It all went downhill after "I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines".
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It all went downhill after Gilda left.
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Poor Gilda. What a loss.
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I remember Bobby Isosceles saying that he was going to wait until Onstad lost interest in the premium assetbar before signing up and downloading all the content. News about content made me think that the time is right. Now, Bobby, now. Except you're baleeted.
I paid for it, downloaded the PDFs (haven't looked at them yet), and have no regrets.
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While reading this announcement I just noticed the Shop link is gone entirely. Has it been like that for a while and I'm just noticing? I assume this means I'll never get that cookbook I paid for last year.
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I paid for it, downloaded the PDFs (haven't looked at them yet), and have no regrets.
I've been paying since he started it. While I don't love that the segmentation into paid-for and not, the man has given me many a chuckle and there are far too many strips that are etched into my memory. In return for that, I'm willing to toss the occasional shiny dollar in his direction.
The chapbooks that he posted t'other day are some pretty tough chuckles. Except without the chuckles. From reading them, I can only imagine that the dude is going through some tough times. I've got some good friends who suffer from the dark dog and reading those chapbooks feels rather like deja-vu. Even Roast Beef seems happier than Onstad does.
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While reading this announcement I just noticed the Shop link is gone entirely. Has it been like that for a while and I'm just noticing? I assume this means I'll never get that cookbook I paid for last year.
I think I noticed that a couple of weeks ago.
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Chris may want to speak to his physician about Abilify.
Also: What is the point of reviewing a concert? It's over.
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so you can say "I saw them back when they were good."