The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Trivial Pursuits => Sports & Leisure => Topic started by: Turbo Ninja on February 16, 2007, 05:38:52 pm
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Yahoo's fantasy leagues are up for 2007. I'd be happy to set up a league if we could muster seven or nine or eleven more people to draft a team and stay semi-involved in management over the next seven months.
Anyone?
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OH HELL YES.
Seriously, I am in, but only if we have a draft, not one of those auto drafts.
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Yeah, I would do this. A real draft would be an OK thing too.
BTW, I suck at these so anyone else would not need to worry about the shame of the cellar.
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I figured I'd set up a real live draft. Those who can't make it would have their choices made for them by the Yahoo Draft Bot, which is what would've happened anyways if we left the whole thing set to automatic.
Please let me know what days/times (including your time zone - I think in terms of Eastern time) would work best for you and remember that the available times fill up quick for free leagues.
I can do anything on weekends or after 6pm Eastern M-F. I go to bed between 12Mid and 1AM Eastern.
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I work or have class until 9 or 10 pm Sunday through Thursday (CST). Friday nights are probably no good, I would say the best time for my would be 5 or 6 pm CST on a Saturday. Get a little buzz on during the draft and have it end in time for bar/ party plans later in the night. I am assuming this will take like 1-2 hours, if we have about 10 teams, is that right? I am not going to lie, I have never played fantasy baseball, is there a link you could give that explain the scoring process.
Also, I am fairly flexible. I mean, I can make time for something as important as fantasy baseball. (there are time slots???) I guess a secondary option would be like 915 CST on any weeknight but tuesday.
Don't worry about this being my first time though, I will follow baseball close until the last month of the season, depending on whether or not my team is struggling, also school starts up so I have less time (I have had the Extrainnings package the last two years), and I guess if my team is struggling I will be able to use this as an excuse to pay attention in the month before the playoffs. Also, I am on the internets at least 5 hours a day already, so this should be easy.
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Ain't nothin I hate more than fantasy baseball. I like rooting for teams and rooting against teams, and none of this confused, ghostly, purgatorial facade that is fantasy baseball.
But I'll consider it.
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I loves me some baseball, but I already have one fantasy team and that's enough.
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My love of baseball has never extended to the realm of roto-sports.
I've never really even considered it. What's the appeal? Sell me on it.
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My motivation for fantasy football is easier to explain: It gives me an excuse to watch games on Sunday that I wouldn't otherwise care about. "Bengals at Steelers? Who gives a crap? Oh wait, I have Chad Johnson! Sweet!"
For baseball, it's a little more subtle. It helps that I've been playing with the same group for years. I want to prove that my knowledge of the game and its matchups is better than theirs.
Did you know: Thanks to our league's arcane keeper rules (by which you get to carry over 6 players from last year's roster to this year's) and my baseball savvy, I have National League MVP Ryan Howard as something like a 16th-round draft pick.
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I too would join the online baseball gig
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I've only played fantasy basketball once (finished second!) and fantasy football once (finished second!), but never fantasy baseball. I'd be interested in playing, but I think you all know already which position I'll finish in.
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My inner baseball stat geek is definitely interested in this, but until recently I didn't think I could commit to keeping up with everything for an entire season. Suddenly I have a lot more free time than I was expecting to have. So, is this still happening? If the draft hasn't been and gone already I'd like to join in.
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I don't think it is still happening. I am still in, and I guess you are, so if four more people want in we might be able to do something. Is it too late? I would set it up if I have to.
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lets do this shit already
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I'd do it, but I probably can't do a live draft. I kill at fantasy football. The thing is, I hate baseball, so maybe this would help me like it.
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Alright, I have never done this before, so I don't really know what to do, but here is a url that should allow you to register (if not I need email addresses): http://baseball.fantasysports.yahoo.com/league/touambleague
If that doesn't work you can also try to just join the league, it is called TOUAMB 07.
The draft is scheduled for saturday night at 6:00 CST, which can change. That is the only time I will be able to do it for about 2 weeks though (spring break coming soon).
edit: I also think we have to have an even number of players to do a draft. At this point I would be cool with a auto draft probably.
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It says you need the league ID# & password.
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sorry, the id is TOUAMB 07 and the password is 123456
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Sorry to be a pain . . . it says League ID#, and specifies "not name".
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TOUAMB 07 (ID# 206482)
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Im in. My team is the MOTHERFUCKERS.
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I'm in - The Venomous Monkeys.
A-CAP, I believe you got a typo in your team name.
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I got my pre draft lineup pretty set. I am satisfied.
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I'm all joined up. My team is the Zombie Reagans; our team colors are those of rotting flesh and anything that's not commie red. We do not bunt. Ever.
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Great to see this is actually taking off now. I'm in, too - the Clouds of Phlogiston. The heat is on, bitches!
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So, how about the draft time?
Also, is there anything I need to change? as I have no idea what I am doing.
Edit: I also see BN as a position, is this like backups?
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Is it an auto-draft, or are you still trying to have a live draft?
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So, how about the draft time?
Also, is there anything I need to change? as I have no idea what I am doing.
Edit: I also see BN as a position, is this like backups?
As best I can make out, BN would mean bench. I don't play fantasy sports, so it could just as well be some strange acronym I've never heard of.
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BN means bench in Yahoo fantasy football. I'm guessing it's the same here.
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Ongoing...
KeithHernandez: radiodread
A-CAP: MOTHErFUCKErS
ironfelix: Clouds of Phlogiston
Melack: Zombie reagans
Nabubrush: Venmous Monkeys
Littlefallsmets: Damned Human race
Turbo ninja: Clouds of Phlogiston
AugustWest: Gashouse Gorillas
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I know in football you need like 10 teams because otherwise you've got one guy with Peyton Manning and Tomlinson and shit. You want teams to have strengths and weaknesses to make it more fun.
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I posted the info on the community board in case there are those who dont check the sports and leisure board but still might be interested.
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We need to have an even amount of teams to do a live draft, if that is a thing you want.
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I'm guessing an auto draft would work best for this ragtag gang.
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I'm guessing an auto draft would work best for this ragtag gang.
Aw man, now you got me imagining us as a multi-ethnic World War Two crew in a bad movie.
All such as the Italian and the Jewish fella and the Irish fella and the Generic White Farmboy and the dude with a Brooklyn accent called "Brooklyn" and such forth and so on.
"Yeah!" I might say, "An auto-draft will give us more time for shootin' Ratzis!"
And a cheer would go up and we'd enjoy Hershey bars and kiss pictures of our ladies back home.
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Can I be the mildly insane german who shaves his head with his K-Bar?
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Oh man, don't even get me started. The only video game I've been playing these past few weeks is Call of Duty 3 on Xbox Live. The game is fun, but it uses just a few lines of highly-repetitive dialogue during combat. Those being:
"Those kraut bastards got one of our guys" - when a Nazi kills an American
"This one's from Tennessee, Jerry!" - When an American tosses a grenade
"Hey Jerry, your sister says 'Hello!'" - random
"New York says 'Hi' you kraut bastard" - Also during a grenade toss, which is probably the one shouted by our hypothetical "Brooklyn" character
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Alright, I changed it to an auto draft sense it doesn't look like we are getting another player.
This basically means you can rank the players yourself, and then, when I hit ready, it will draft them within 72 hours. You can also do nothing, and it will select the most poplar players. I plan on starting the 72 hour draft window on sunday night.
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I've got my pre-draft rankings all sorted out. For better or worse, my team ought to have quite a few Seattle Mariners. Considering this team has finished last in their division three years running, I'm leaning towards "worse".
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I am basically certain that my team is awesome. But does anyone know how this shit is scored?
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I haven't looked yet - did I get Honus Wagner?
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Uh, so the draft should be done by thrsday, I guess.
I have no Idea how it scores.
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The thing ain't drafting because there are an odd number of teams and we're set up to compete head-to-head over the course of the season so Yahoo wants to make sure that someone always has an opponent. Bye weeks are for football.
In a H2H league, you match up against another team. Your cumulative stats are compared to your opponent's cume stats and you earn a record based on how many categories you win, lose or draw every week. We're set up for the traditional 5x5 (R, HR, RBI, SB, AVG/W, SV, K, ERA, WHIP), so you can go 10-0-0, 0-10-0, or anywhere in between.
I'd like to get one more team involved before drafting rather than losing one, because too few teams takes some of the strategy out of it. If we have to go with six teams, I'd suggest reducing the number of Bench positions (BN) to zero and stretching the waiver period to six days. This forces more strategy as you add/drop guys based on weekly matchups rather than just hoarding them on your bench over the course of the season. Eight teams would be better but I'd still advocate a shallow bench and long waiver period.
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I can't believe no one else will sign up. Fuck, I hate basball and I signed up!
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If I don't have to draft, I'll sign up.
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It is on auto draft, so there is no draft.
Turboninja: I have no idea what I am doing. Do you want to be commissioner? PM me your email address if you do. Also, I am very busy this week, but I figured I could wait on changing stuff until next week.
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Just get A-dub in here and we will be fine. It will take care of itself, and after a month only two people will be left and it will be fun. Commence with the merry-making, dammit!
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Fine. I'm going to deal with it now.
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KH - You've done the hard part. In a basic Yahoo league, the Commissioner is like the Queen of England - all title, no real responsibilities once the season starts.
In the immortal words of the Black Eyed Peas, let's get retarded (in here).
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Fair warning: What my eventual team may lack in statistics and overall wins, we'll make up for with grit, character and veteran leadership. These are the three pillars of any great fantasy baseball team. We do not need a fourth pillar because that would be gaudy.
Ninja: does that also imply that Keith bears a more than striking resemblance to Helen Mirren?
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Fair warning: What my eventual team may lack in statistics and overall wins, we'll make up for with grit, character and veteran leadership. These are the three pillars of any great fantasy baseball team. We do not need a fourth pillar because that would be gaudy.
As long as they give 110% and leave it all out on the field, you'll be fine.
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My team is built around minimum effort and reliance on pure dumbass luck.
Kind of like the Mets.
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No no no...
The Mets are built around amazing rookies who are being constantly fuck*ng held down by the ancient wash-ups and journeymen they're constantly bringing in because Willie Randolph is a goddamned idiot who believes in "playing the right way" and "hitting for power in a pitcher's park for some goddamned reason" instead of "great young talent" who "won't be constantly injured".
JOSE VALENTIN, MOSES ALOU AND SHAWN GREEN IN YOUR STARTING LINE-UP?
Fuck me, man. Just fuck me. For the Royals in 1995, that would be a decent third of your line-up.
I mean, fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. Fuck. FUCK.
LASTINGS MILLEDGE WILL TURN WATER INTO WINE IF YOU JUST GIVE HIM 150 STARTS.
FUCK. FUCK. FUCK.
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You are wrong.
The Mets are pond scum.
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LASTINGS MILLEDGE COULD PART THE SEA AND HEAL THE SICK IF THEY'D... JUST... LET HIM... PLAY. LET HIM PLAY. LET HIM PLAY! LET. THE DUDE. PLAY.
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Algae.
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Carlos Delgado's knees are going to explode this season and Mike Jacobs will be an All-Star in Florida in two years. They're looking at fuck*ng John Maine and fuck*ng Chan Ho Park when Pelfrey and Humber are completely goddamned ready to start. Chavez would be starting on any other team and Moises Alou would've fucked Jayne Mansfield except she was "too young for him".
SHAWN GREEN IS A DOUCHEBAG WHO WILL HIT FIFTEEN HOME RUNS AND DO JACK-ALL ELSE AND LASTINGS MILLEDGE WILL DIE, DESCEND THROUGH HELL TO REDEEM MANKIND AND RISE THREE DAYS LATER WHILE STILL HITTING .325!
FUCK. FUCKFUCKFUCK.
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Well, be thankful you're not an M's fan. Mike Hargrove makes Willie Randolph look like Wernher von fuck*ng Braun.
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Here's my thing. Willie Randolph is a douchebag who believes in "old school" hossshit like "team players" and "good hustle" and "he's really trying". fuck*ng ex-Yankee rah-rah hossshit.
Fuck a dude who is "a great bench guy". Fuck a dude who is "practically a player-coach". Fuck a dude who can hit twenty or thirty home runs and won't do anything else. Fuck a dude who has "won it before". Fuck a dude who used to be famous.
WHAT IS YOUR ON-BASE-PERCENTAGE?
CAN YOU FIELD YOUR POSITION?
ARE YOU NOT GOING TO BE INJURED ALL THE fuck*ng TIME?
These are my only three requirements for a position player.
Fulfill those requirements or get out of my face, CLIFF FLOYD.
CLIFF FLOYD, YOU SUPREME BAG OF DOUCHE. OH, CHRIST, I HOPE THERE IS A HELL SO THAT DOUCHEBAGS LIKE YOU CAN GO THERE, EVEN IF IT MEANS I AM BURNING WITH YOU. HOLY SHIT, IF YOU CAN'T PLAY ANY MORE, JUST fuck*ng RETIRE, DON'T WANDER AROUND WITH A HANGDOG LOOK UNTIL WILLIE WILL PINCHHIT YOU IN AT A KEY MOMENT SO YOU CAN SHIT THE BED. HOLY SHIT, CLIFF FLOYD, YOU ARE GOING TO BASEBALL HELL AND I WILL BE THERE WITH THE GODDAMN PITCHFORK, YOU GIMPY fuck*ng DOUCHE.
STRIKEOUT PITCHERS ARE hossSHIT, ALSO.
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Ninja: does that also imply that Keith bears a more than striking resemblance to Helen Mirren?
If true, it would be the first time I've had a May-December crush on a fake baseball commish.
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Carlos Delgado's knees are going to explode this season and Mike Jacobs will be an All-Star in Florida in two years. They're looking at fuck*ng John Maine and fuck*ng Chan Ho Park when Pelfrey and Humber are completely goddamned ready to start. Chavez would be starting on any other team and Moises Alou would've fucked Jayne Mansfield except she was "too young for him".
John Maine just had a break out year, I say. He's going to be the second best starter on the team this season.
But Delgado is vital to the lineup, because without him Beltran's average would drop 30 points and Jose Reyes would be back to swinging at balls in the dirt every AB.
And who knows, maybe your problems will solve themselves, Moises Alou will get injured so early that Milledge will play a week or two.
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I have grave doubts about John Maine.
I see him being one of those guys who'll look good for a few innings and then lose focus and cough up the gopher ball and... everyone will only look at the innings before he lost focus and say he's having a "breakout year" when the dude lost the game by losing focus and letting the opposing fuck*ng shortstop go yard with two men on.
If they get him on Ritalin or something, who knows? He might be a serviceable number four man.
He has great stuff, potentially, yes. But until I can see him consistent go six, seven innings a game without looking like a deer in the headlights and giving up a jack to fuck*ng Randy Johnson or Lenny Harris (if he's still alive) John Maine is gonna be a really good middle-reliever who they're trying to pretend has the focus to be a starter.
But anything's better than Jose Lima.
JOSE LIMA. THEY WERE IN A fuck*ng PENNANT RACE AND THEY WERE USING JOSE fuck*ng LIMA INSTEAD OF SOLER, BANNISTER, HUMBER OR PELFREY. HOLY. fuck*ng. FUCK. JOSE LIMA EVEN SUCKED BACK WHEN HE WAS GOOD. OH, MAN, TO BE ABLE TO BEAT JOSE LIMA WITH CLIFF FLOYD'S LEG WHEN IT FINALLY FALLS OFF. HOLY. fuck*ng WOW.
(Baseball is the one thing I let myself get angry about, because it is really just rich guys who I've never met playing a game. It is healthier than getting mad about things that actually matter.)
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Maine got hella tight down the stretch especially late down the stretch when the Mets basically didn't have anyone else putting up good starts and everyone was weeping about Pedro. If it doesn't carry into next year, I'm going to be surprised, I'd have alot more trust in him than Bannister and Soler.
I have to defend him because a few months ago I was with the dudes and I was like stupid plastered and I said, "You know what I bet you?: Chien Ming Wang and John Maine are 2007's Cy Young winners. Ya heard?" So now I have to stand by what I said.
But you're getting worked up about the wrong things. How 'bout that Billy Wagner deal?
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THIS JUST IN, LARUSSA DUI (http://www.usatoday.com/sports/baseball/nl/cardinals/2007-03-22-larussa-charged_N.htm)
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Here's the thing.
I grant myself one Supreme Unwarranted Arrogance.
I am a pretty humble guy about most things and there are a few things I am arrogant about but it is pretty much warranted, such as in being a talented (if wildly undisiplined) writer or in being absolutely correct about the big picture (though often wrong on the small or short-term details) in terms of political situations.
But even those things, I'm throwing up hell of parentheticals.
My one Supreme Unwarranted Arrogance is that I know better for the Mets than anyone. Better than Omar Meckaleckahimeckhahineyho, better than Willie "I Manage Like It Is Still 1893" Randolph, better than any commentator anywhere.
Not baseball in general which I am merely Very Smart at... but the Mets in particular, if they would listen to me, they would have a great team to win the World Series for the next six years as opposed to a team of cobbled-together washed-up power hitters to get into the playoffs this year.
I pay THAT close attention to the Mets, I am that great of a baseball mind, I am that awesome.
There is only one person who COULD know better for the Mets than I do, except that he has to pay attention to the entire sport and so probably cannot get as detail-oriented as I do about the Metropolitan Baseball Club of New York...
And oddly enough, that dude is the dad of a poster here.
Other than that dude IF he was focused in such as a laser on just that team, I am the supreme authority on the Mets.
It is my one completely unwarranted arrogance. I mean, I never even played Little League.
The most baseball I ever played was unorganized sandlot whiffleball but, goddamn it, I watched every game possible of the Little Falls Mets and the Utica Blue Sox until they both moved out, the Mohawk Valley Landsharks of the independent leagues, the Little Falls Diamonds of the college semi-pro leagues possible for a kid and teenager.
I done spent years at the foot of the purest organized ball of all, the low-minors, and I am a dude with that wisdom FOCUSED LIKE THE HIGHLANDER'S JAPANESE SWORD THING onto the Mets organization.
...Wagner, eh. Closers are important but not as important as they are made to sound.
If your hitters get on base and your starter can go six or seven innings, the closer is incidental.
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It never dawned on me to mention this before, but have any of you read Fantasyland (http://www.amazon.com/Fantasyland-Sportswriters-Obsessive-Ruthless-Baseball/dp/0143038435/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/002-9669836-0876827?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1174661299&sr=8-1) by Sam Walker? It's pretty good. He's a writer from the Wall Street Journal who joins the most prestigious fantasy league in the country, which basically consumes his entire life. The theme of the book is ostensibly about bridging the divide between statheads and old-fashioned scouting to construct the ultimate fantasy team, but it's more a vehicle for self-deprecating jokes and funny player encounter anecdotes, especially those with Doug Mientkeiwicz and David Ortiz.
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So, uh... when are we getting our players?
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I've been waiting on that myself.
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I blame the unions.
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The real Queen of England could have busted those unions to get us our players faster.
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My team's batting average is sick awesome. Also, I have barry bonds in the outfield.
Who got Pedro Martinez?
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We have players! Excellent!
I dunno who got Pedro, but considering his arm is handing on by a thread, I feel sorry for them.
I see I got Felix Hernandez, and all I had to do was move him up 40 spots in the rankings! Nice.
Not nice: I have both A-Rod and Jeter. Those two are gonna have some serious passive aggressive arguments in the Zombie Reagan clubhouse. Shouldn't be god for team chemistry.
So uh, how does this waiver system work? I kind of want AJ Pierzynski off my tream right now.
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I am pretty sure I have NO idea what I am doing with my team.
But my starting pitching is pretty goddamn awesome. So is my outfield.
I'm sort-of at a loss to figure out my SS, C, bench and bullpen but... I guess I'll get there.
I have no Mets, though, and that DOES bother me.
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I don't know anything about anything, but I did get that pitcher that the Red Sox had to pay 50 mil just to talk to. That's gotta be good, eh?
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My entire roster may or may not be bordering the disabled list or criminal charges. Excellent.
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Which one is Damned Human Race again? I responded to your plea.
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That'd be me.
Right now I'm on my other Yahoo profile, the one for Playing Pranks On People and Looking At Naked Ladies, but when I switch back to my "real" one, I'll see what you have to say.
Am I on my Pranks and Naked account infinitely more than my real one?
Like, of course.
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I have no Mets, though, and that DOES bother me.
I got two Cardinals -- Pujols and Rolen.
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Aug-- how is a cardinals fan like Michael Jackson?
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Aug-- how is a cardinals fan like Michael Jackson?
He has sex with small children?
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Aug-- how is a cardinals fan like Michael Jackson?
I don't know, does it have something to do with "Small Ball"?
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they...
they both love Pujols.
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Shit, I'm sorry inev. That was probably a little too much. Hey, when does the season start?
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April 1 Mets vs. St.Louis.
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are you saying that you're sorry for the joke you made, or you're sorry that my joke was so inappropriate?
Um, ok. Leaving this thread now.
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I was trying to come up with something revolving around "Jesus juice" and "being juiced" but...
Yeah, sorry. Yeah, uh, that's pretty bad, man. That is a pretty bad punchline you got there.
Pretty much, the punchline was going to have to specifically refer to his PEDOPHILIA as being abberant as opposed to the presumption of a more general consenting adult homosexuality being the point which is mocked for being absurd.
It sounds a little counter intuitive but... it is funny to make fun of him in reference to a thing that all sane adults agree is bad. To miss the mark and simply refer to any sort of man-on-man anal sex with the IMPLICATION that is refering to pedophilia... this knocks all the funny out of it.
"What do Michael Jackson and a JcPenneys' sale have in common? Boys ##### half off." is not that funny of a joke... but it illustrates what we're talking about.
"Poo-holes" is pretty much a blanket slur on male homosexuality, in general, muddying the waters (if you'll excuse the pun) on what you're actually saying with the joke?
Are you equating consenting adult homosexuality WITH pedophilia? I realize that you are not but... all of the sudden, there is no funny because we're left trying to parse out what this joke's judgement on consenting sex in relation to non-consenting near-uniformally-abberant sexualities like pedophilia is.
It's not even that it's offensive (though it is) it's that it is misdirected.
The pun of "poo-holes" and "Pujols" is potentially funny in some other context... but we're so lost in trying to figure out why the pun is being applied to specific pedophilia that, like, the joke disappears.
I have killed this joke with tweezers for a reason.
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yeah, um, basically my roommate told me that joke, and i groaned, and it has been stuck in my head. sorry.
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You see, what I am trying to do is run "comedy interference".
Think of me such as an internet message board wing-man.
I am the king of being the weird loud guy who makes the other guy look real good and drive the lady into his arms out of fear of me. I can turn on that kind of anti-charm like a faucet. If I can defuse the joke in such an over-the-top analytical that perhaps I can look like an officious douche and people will not think so much about the punchline resting on a pun about sloppy feces during anal sex with a person who did not clean properly first.
I am seeing if this works on the internet as well.
I am... coming to the conclusion that it is lost in the translation.
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if you are a faucet of anti-charm, I am a leaky firehose.
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See, and here I was mentally pronouncing it as "Poo-jols" and was totally lost.
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A tiny can for pointing out the problem so obvious that we didn't even see it.
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I believe the surname Pujols is from Catalan and was originally pronounced "poo-JOHL," so it's really not that difficult a mistake to make.
I am not yet too far removed from my childhood to remember that any reference to anuses is automatically funny, regardless of context. Don't be afraid of low humor, people.
Two of my favorite Albert Pujols jokes:
"Colon blows one past Pujols." (back when he pitched for the Expos)
"Randy Johnson goes hard and in on Pujols."
It's too bad he didn't play at the same time as Rollie Fingers.
See also: Paul Assenmacher.
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Also, oftentimes heterosexuals like "poo-holes". I hope you feel sorry for yourself, young man.
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Also, oftentimes heterosexuals like "poo-holes". I hope you feel sorry for yourself, young man.
Ohhhhhh, now I get it. Now I get the joke. Thank you.
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I know I've seen somewhere a collection of newspaper clippings covering Bartolo Colon. My favorite headline among them is probably "Colon takes another pounding" - for the obvious humor and for the fact that seeing a division rival struggle is one of life's most precious joys.
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I ended up with Wright AND Reyes. That's crazy and my infield will RULE.
Oh, wait. It's a small league, so EVERYONE'S team is 150% as good as a basic public league.
This will be fun.
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Well, at least I got Mike Jacobs on the bench.
Jacobs, Pelfrey and Milledge were supposed to be part of the New Mets with Wright and Reyes, man, and the future should'a been now. Jacobs traded for a guy who is good but has MAYBE one good year left in the tank (Delgado) Milledge held down for no reason other than to prop up, like, five guys who are two years past having a good year in the tank (Alou, Green, Floyd, Nady) and Pelfrey being the only dude who is being put into the rotation fast enough...
I'm disappointed.
The following Mets team could have started this year and would've been a great team for YEARS with minor tweaks down the road:
LF - Chavez (bench)
CF - Beltran
RF - Milledge (AAA)
3B - Wright
SS - Reyes
2B - Keppinger (Reds)
1B - Jacobs (Marlins)
C - LoDuca
This year, you could have a starting staff that was a mix of Glavine, Pedro, Bannister, Pelfrey, Maine, Perez and Humber, depending on who is injured and if/when Perez and/or Maine flame-out (Perez completely, Maine becoming a really solid long-reliever 6th/7th inning guy) and if Humber is quite ready for the majors yet.
And as the years went by and Glavine and Pedro retired, Pelfrey and Humber would mature into the one-and-two aces.
And man! An awesome bullpen. Heilman and Sanchez all settin' up for the somewhat-overrated-but-still-very-good Wagner. Eventually Maine becoming the long-man, maybe Perez comin' on in at the mop-up guy if there isn't a rookie or a reclamation project playing that role. A coupla decent specialists as the Mets had been carrying such as Bradford and Feliciano and so on.
You could even still have Randolph's "experienced guys who play the game right" as much of your bench. A Valentin who can play a lot of positions passably enough for a fill-in. A Franco, etc. Assistant coaches who occasionally go in on a day game after a night game. Or a defensive specialist for the left side of the infield like an Anderson Hernandez. A back-up catcher like Castro who'd be a starter on a bad team and is a great second-string dude.
You are talking about a young powerhouse club with just enough talented experience to guide the rest of the team. No Moises Alou/Shawn Green/Cliff Floyd... Carlos Delgado in a season and a half... washed-up broke-downs who can still occasionally hit a dinger and do fuck-all else.
Rush the young guys a little instead of crossing your fingers on reclamation projects like Maine and Perez.
Coupla years, Fernando Martinez is ready and Chavez gets a gold watch and THEN... fuck.
That's a fuck*ng TEAM.
Bleh. So many missed opportunities to keep washed-up fuck*ng powerhitters around, just to steal one day's headline from the Yankees, man. That's what it's all about, that's why there are all these crap former homerun guys sniffing around and wasting fuck*ng roster spots.
So the Yankees fuck ya even when they're nowhere in sight.
Bleh.
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I have no Mets on my team, but I do have four current (and six 2006) Yankees. It should be noted that I did not alter my pre-draft rankings to achieve this. I did alter them to get more Mariners than usual, but I only ended up with three of those guys.
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I have no Mets on my team, but I do have four current (and six 2006) Yankees. It should be noted that I did not alter my pre-draft rankings to achieve this. I did alter them to get more Mariners than usual, but I only ended up with three of those guys.
I have Richie Sexson - is that good?
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Sexson will probably give you a good amount of home runs and RBIs. But he'll hit for a pretty low average (.250 to .270), his career best in stolen bases is 3 (and at 6'8" you can't really blame him for that), and the bottom of the M's order is nothing to write home about, so he won't score many runs.
And he plays horrible defense and makes way too much money, but luckily for you only us Mariners fans have to worry about that.
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Is that you, in that sig?
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Yeah, just a few songs I've recorded in GarageBand.
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I'm planning on taking a pretty much (OK, very much) laissez-faire attitude toward management and I fully expect to be the whipping boy and doormat of the league. However, I am willing to listen to suggestions and/or trade offers.
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I'm planning on taking a pretty much (OK, very much) laissez-faire attitude toward management and I fully expect to be the whipping boy and doormat of the league. However, I am willing to listen to suggestions and/or trade offers.
I'm going to take the opposite strategy, but with the same results. Just like every other time I've played fantasy sports (all of twice), I'll make a constant flurry of transactions, engage in a number of questionable trades purely for the sake of change and just generally have so much roster turnover I won't be able to remember anyone who is on my team. It should be a fun season.
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I'm planning on taking a pretty much (OK, very much) laissez-faire attitude toward management and I fully expect to be the whipping boy and doormat of the league. However, I am willing to listen to suggestions and/or trade offers.
is this supposed to be in Re: Retirement?
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is this supposed to be in Re: Retirement?
No, but it certainly would be accurate there as well.
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I wound up with no Mets or Yankees on my squad, which was also not by design. I ranked Wright and A-Rod higher than Chipper Jones, but got him anyway. At least my conscience is at ease now.
In the pre-draft rankings I opted for the unconventional approach of tanking on home runs and drafting a team of rabbits. I can't say to what extent that actually worked, but at least I succeeded in not completely fuck*ng up my team. As far as I can tell, anyway.
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I hate to break it to you, but I'm pretty sure Chipper's knees are being held together with bubble gum and scotch tape these days. I hope the rest of your team can swipe more bags than him!
Who do you have?
Edit: that is basically the exact opposite of Beane's approach during the days of Moneyball. Jeremy Giambi hah!
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A trivial yet triumphant realization:
I have swapped one erection for another.
Evidence:
3/27: Add Rich Harden (Oak SP)
3/27: Drop Randy Johnson (Ari SP)
Now swap the E in Harden for an O and you've struck pure man-gold!
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Watching Randy Johnson is fun because its so unpredictable. Is he going to meltdown tonight? Is he going to aim for a perfect game and then crash at the 90th pitch into oblivion? Who knows! Stay tuned!
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I saw Randy Johnson's perfect game against the Braves in Atlanta. It's a really weird feeling to see your own team have a perfect game thrown against them. On the one hand, Stalin could throw a perfect game against a team of nuns and it would still be a thing of beauty, but then you think, "wait a minute... that just happened to us! That really sucks!"
I think the tape came off Chipper's knees (in a falling-apart way, not a getting-better way) sometime last season. He'll retire before he turns 40, but he's still got a few more good years left in him. At least, I hope so. If I really need stolen base production from my third baseman I can always move Ryan Freel there from the outfield, but then I'd take a hit in all my other stats.
Moneyball strategy says stolen bases and other small-ball tactics are a less efficient means of scoring runs than just straight-up slugging a bunch of home runs, and there's a large body of statistical evidence to support that. But fuck that shit, man. Seriously. Stolen bases make the game so much more fun to watch. If I were managing a ballclub I'd be having players steal home, statistics be damned. That's just the way the game ought to be played. Luckily for me, as long as fantasy baseball remains relatively sabermetrics-unfriendly (emphasis on batting average, pitching wins, et cetera) my radical hosshide traditionalism shouldn't do much to hamper my team's success.
Rich Harden would have a great name as a porn star. Even more so if he went by Dick, but then maybe that would be too obvious. Here are some other good ones:
Dick Pole
Rusty Kuntz
Jimmy Dykes
Happy Felsch
Orel Hershiser
...and my personal favorite, Chick Fullis.
Someday I'm going to write a new version of the song "Van Lingle Mungo" using only players with suggestive names. I've been meaning to do that for a while.
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I was going to write a poem entitled "Sadie Lipschitz and Other Cruel Names", but then I discovered I can't rhyme or write to a meter.
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Not necessarily slugging home runs, but there are better ways to go about scoring runs than bunting a guy from first to second in the bottom of the first. I do agree that stolen bases are fun to watch, and someone stealing home is one of the most entertaining plays in all of baseball. I would gladly watch a game where there's plenty of base-stealing, as long as neither team is one that I have a rooting interest in.
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See, my favourite part of baseball is the manufactured run.
The manufactured run is Living Chess.
The manufactured run is the perfect child of Athletism and Strategy.
Dude fightin' off an eleven pitch at bat for a walk, goin' to second on a well-placed weak grounder... stealing third out of nowhere like a nuclear bomb and then... oh man, is this guy gonna hit the ball far enough to score the man on third?
Oh man, oh man, oh man.
Gettin' on base and making productive outs. I am such a dork but... man.
These things are everything that entertainment should be. The tension, man, the tension.
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Moneyball is a significant and amazing book. As a dude who is mainly concerned with economics and getting laid, It is the reason I got into sports. The dude, Michael Lewis, just came out with The Blind Side which is a similar treatment of Football and a great read.
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Rich Harden would have a great name as a porn star. Even more so if he went by Dick, but then maybe that would be too obvious. Here are some other good ones:
Dick Pole
Rusty Kuntz
Jimmy Dykes
Happy Felsch
Orel Hershiser
...and my personal favorite, Chick Fullis.
Let us not ignore Rollie Fingers.
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Moneyball is a significant and amazing book. As a dude who is mainly concerned with economics and getting laid, It is the reason I got into sports. The dude, Michael Lewis, just came out with The Blind Side which is a similar treatment of Football and a great read.
Yeah, The Blind Side is an awesome book. Michael Lewis is a really unique writer. The guy just has a way of taking something that seemingly has to do with sports and manages to turn it into a completely different subject. That's what bothers me the most about people's perceptions of Moneyball. So many think it's some kind of sabermetric manifesto, but it's really a book about a businessman who's thrived by learning to exploit market inefficiencies.
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Let us not ignore Rollie Fingers.
Two of my favorite Albert Pujols jokes:
"Colon blows one past Pujols." (back when he pitched for the Expos)
"Randy Johnson goes hard and in on Pujols."
It's too bad he didn't play at the same time as Rollie Fingers.
I didn't want to list him twice.
But yes, he's definitely up there. He's got the mustache for it, too.
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I am so tired of getting these little player updates that tell me how a player's spring training stats are going. Spring training means nothing. Please do not update me with useless information, Yahoo. Do you really think I'm worried about Ryan Howard (http://imdb.com/title/tt0386676/trivia), a man who has hit 70 home runs in the past season and a half, hitting .200 during spring training. No, Yahoo. I do not. Do not try to instill fear in me, Yahoo, for I am strong with resistance.
Now this (http://www.hardballtimes.com/main/article/top-20-fantasy-baseball-busts/), on the other hand, scares me a little. My players make up 1/4 of that list!
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We are now Very Close to the beginning and there have only been a few moves in the league.
Are people Over It already or do they just wanna see the first week of action before tinkering?
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I didn't like the deals I was being offered. Plus, this works so differently than the football thing that I am sort of lost. How many points should I expect from each player? Who do I start? FUCK!
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Im just waiting to see how the action plays out. I think we got teams reasonably close to what we wanted.
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My team alone constitutes about 90% of the league's transactions so far, so I'm probably the least qualified person to answer this question.
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Well, I've been shuffling the deck chairs on the Titanic with my shortstop and my catcher and free agent replacements but Lord knows if it has done any good. I suppose I can't know until I actually figure out how any of the scoring actually occurs and so on.
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I tried to get three players I wanted, all trades were turned down.
They were mainly cosmetic moves, I am pretty happy with my team.
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Well, I got a two-fer tonight.
By smearing Carpenter into the ground, the Mets won AND left me with a tiny lead in my first week of fantasy baseball because... Carpenter was the only guy on either of our teams in the Mets-Cards game.
So that was pretty goddamn awesome.
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I don't have any Mets or Cards on my team, but I was still super excited for this game. It is the first of the season, after all. That enthusiasm gradually waned with every nugget of shit that plopped out of Joe Morgan's mouth. I made it through about three innings before I had enough and turned on the xbox 360. I'll watch the condensed game later on mlb.tv.
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Well, I got a two-fer tonight.
By smearing Carpenter into the ground, the Mets won AND left me with a tiny lead in my first week of fantasy baseball because... Carpenter was the only guy on either of our teams in the Mets-Cards game.
So that was pretty goddamn awesome.
Oh shut up.
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Haha, whoops. I just realized I have Chris Carpenter on my team. Well, this is a fun way to start the season.
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Is there any thing we need to do with our rosters? Like, do I have a starting 9, or do all of my players play?
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I would imagine that the bench players do not play, seeing how they are... well, on the bench. Otherwise there wouldn't be much point in having one. I don't know if the utility man plays or not. Is that like a DH?
I also have no Mets or Cardinals, but for the first week I am facing Pujols and Rolen, who went a combined 0-for-5 today, so I'm pretty happy too.
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What about pitchers?
How do I move a person from the starters to the bench?
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I think you just swap the guy in the P slot with the guy in the SP slot and hit submit changes? I'm not sure, really. It could be that the P's are just any kind of pitcher you want to keep on your roster, regardless of starter or reliever designations - all of whom count towards your points.
As for position players: http://help.yahoo.com/l/us/yahoo/baseball/scoring/baseball-95.html
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Watching the Yanks-Rays game on ESPN right now. Sure glad fantasy baseball doesn't consider defense because A-Rod and Jeter both have errors and it's only the second inning.
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I'm the top scoring team at the moment, despite my defense acting the fool and 2 on the DL. I predict this victory will be short lived.
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I don't want to brag or anything, but someone has to. There was a pitcher that I moved up about 40 spots in the pre-draft rankings to make sure there was no way in hell someone else got him. That pitcher yesterday:
8 IP, 3 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 12 K
The pitcher? Felix motherfuck*ng Hernandez. Remember the name.
He was so good he went back in time and made Chis Carpenter pitch better on opening night. Don't ask me how it happened, it just did.
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I was starting to doubt the wisdom of my "load up on Dodgers and Angels so that I can at least follow some of the guys live" theory but... Vlad single-handedly made me look slightly less embarassing yesterday.
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It would seem that Mr. Met is beating me, largely due to the fact that the Yankees (97% of my entire roster) got rained out yesterday.
I understand you had some part in this. Come clean. You've been toying with the weather, haven't you!
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What's fascinating to me is that, like, I went into this assuming that I was going to live or die by my pitching but... I'm being outpitched in a few categories.
I do call "bullshit" on a system where the Stolen Bases stat means as much as ERA or average.
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My own team has been the benificiary of Ben Sheets' two-hitter, which explains their current pitching success, but it could hold together like that for the rest of the season if my pitchers live up to their billing.
I'd be interested making a few moves, too, but nobody who has what I want would need what I'm willing to offer. Does Yahoo support three-way deals? I'm worried I'd just screw myself over if I tried to do that on my own.
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Proof there are mysterious, otherworldly forces holding back my baseball team: It effing snowed during the Yankees game tonight.
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When do the scores update?
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Early morning, I think?
Most recent lesson learned about fantasy baseball: two catchers on the roster is important.
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Yeah, I'd think so - are catchers the most-injured position on a team? Maybe more than pitchers (with the inhuman stresses those guys put on their throwing arms). They certainly see more contact than the rest of the squad. Although shortstops see their share of base runners trying to break up double plays.
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I wouldn't say catchers are more injury-prone than other players. They just need to take a game off far more often than other players because of the nature of their position. So with only one catcher on your roster, you're going to have an empty hole every week or so.
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Desperate to light a fire under the ass of my under-performing team, I made a pair of pretty significant moves this morning. I've taken to using a Moneyball-type approach, loading up on players with a particular skillset that isn't valued my most teams. That skillset? Resistance to cold weather.
You see, I've already been the victim of three snowstorms this year. A couple days ago, a flurry of snow quite literally froze my Yankees hitters. Those miserable conditions made the normally dangerous Yankees lineup - of which I have four players - look like a bunch of blindfolded kids swinging at a pinata. Yesterday, the Mariners-Indians game was so bad that the players started building snowmen in the outfield - and yet they allowed them to play nearly five innings. My three Mariners were freezing their balls off in the snow while the umpires were running around playing "should they or shouldn't they?" They had a double-header scheduled for today, with my best pitcher slated to start one of the games, but the whole thing was called off early when everyone decided to go ice skating on Lake fuck*ng Erie.
So now I've decided to man up and get some players from the colder parts of North America. Guys who are used to snow and cold. See, according to my math, I'm gonna have to deal with 478 snowy games this season. So I dropped one of my Dominican players in favor of someone from Boston, Mass. I also tossed someone from balmy Georgia so I could add a second baseman who knows all about the cold, cold Tucson nights. See? I'm the next fuck*ng Billy Beane.
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Aw, man. I gotta say... this is getting ten hells of exciting.
Going into the last day:
I basically have a lock on the strikeout, win, save and average categories.
My opponent basically has a lock on ERA, WHIP and stolen bases.
I have slight leads in HRs and RBI.
My opponent has a slight lead in runs.
A dude has gotta get STRATEGIC for tomorrow. This is what a dude has to do.
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Looks like good match-ups for Easter day.
I am winning every pitching category, my opponent (motherfuckers = A-CAP? I am going by email addresses, as I can't be fucked to remember for that long) is winning all batting categories.
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Yea I dont know why I have an absent pitching staff and a rocking hitting staff. F that noise.
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Annnnnnnnnnnnnd the cancellation of the Mariners-Indians doubleheader renders most of my strategy academic. Not much to be said for trying to get your run total up by using two players who are going to be playing in a double header when... the doubleheader ain't happening.
Just gotta bench my least effective reliever in one last attempt at taking WHIP back, try to figure out if either of my catchers are sitting out a day game after a night game and then... hope for the goddamn best.
A-CAP... I see your issue as being that you've made the strategic decision to hold onto Pedro for when he comes off the DL and Clemens for in case he comes back in June or something. These are potentially awesome long term decisions that seem to be fuck*ng you royally in the short term.
That and... you're only carrying one reliever that is actually frequently in save situations.
I think I might have a trade for you that would benefit us pretty much equally...
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This Mariners-Indians clusterfuck pisses me off doubly: As someone with several Mariners on his fantasy team and as a an out of town Mariners fan with a shiny new mlb.tv account.
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Also: it seems worth noting that my team is batting a robust .213. If not for A-Rod, my entire team would be below the Mendoza Line. I shudder to think.
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It is interesting, you know?
Without Vlad and A-Rod on our rosters, we would have an insanely sad match-up between us.
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Yeah, so that Vlad guy of yours? 5 runs, 3 home runs, 20 RBI.
Fuck that.
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10 Ribbies, actually.
But, man, A-Rod had ELEVEN. And FOUR home runs. And EIGHT runs.
If I'm reading the numbers right, I think I edged you out this week, 'lack.
Good game, sir, good game.
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Yeah, so that Vlad guy of yours? 5 runs, 3 home runs, 20 RBI.
Fuck that.
Also: King of the Make-Outs!
... I'll get my coat.
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Yeah, so that Vlad guy of yours? 5 runs, 3 home runs, 20 RBI.
Fuck that.
Also: King of the Make-Outs!
... I'll get my coat.
...I think my opinion of Vladimir Guerrero just improved about one millionfold.
After the Red Sox' win in Texas, it looks like I have managed to eke out a tie in the saves category. I'm hoping that will be good enough for first place, provided my ERA and WHIP didn't get messed up too badly tonight.
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If I could have just gotten one more stolen base, I would have won. I think me and A-CAP tied, unless he miraculously overtakes my era, or I his batting average.
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Whoops, 10 RBI. Typo. But could you imagine 20? A dude would need to hit 5 grand slams in a single game to collect that many.
It was a good week for baseball. Fun was had, people who are afraid of tall black people gained respite from the tyranny of the NBA, and we all discovered that baseball players also enjoy building snowmen. Too bad my hitters hit like greasy butt.
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So it shows my last weeks score as 5-5-0, but doesn't have me as being 0-0-1, is this a thing or am I just not giving it enough time?
Edit: Fuck.
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I am in absolute dead last. Did I not predict this earlier? I believe I did. I foretold of a time where the man who made the most moves (myself) would ultimately just dig himself into a hole - which is true! Yes!
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Also, I've finally figured out how this scoring system works, and I'm pretty happy with it. I was worried it was going to be scored like a real sports league, where after a head to head matchup, you'd be credited with either a win or a loss - and that's it. But this one gives you a win or loss in ten full categories. The other way would have allowed way too much room for luck to rear its ugly head. This system here is quite a bit more rational than the one I was imagining in the early goings.
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And despite my surprising myself with a win last week...
My pitching-heavy left-side-of-the-infield-weak roster and a snow-out combine to leave me with seven batters today.
Yikes.
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I have Indians tickets for Saturday. They're playing the White Sox. In between, the Indians are "hosting" the Angels in Milwaukee.
This raises the question: If the weather in Cleveland does not break and the field is unplayable for Saturday, will I have to travel THROUGH Chicago to get to Milwaukee so I can watch the Indians play the White Sox? What if Comiskey is playable? Will they just shift the game to Chicago and let the Indians bat in the bottom of the innings?
I'm trying not to think about it.
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Yeah, that Indians thing is bizarre. Really goes to show how great these MLB schedule-makers are when somehow a Cleveland team ends up playing home games in Wisconsin.
It would seem my hitters are finally picking up the slack, thanks in no small part to my Yankee-heavy lineup feasting on Sidney Ponson. I would be excited if my best pitcher hadn't just been placed on the disabled list.
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Oh man, did I suck at this game yesterday. Oh. Man.
Seven players with a combined BA of .154! 2 runs, 2 RBI, no home runs, no stolen bases. Four for, like, twenty-six. Okay starter, terrible reliever. Cobbling my performances yesterday together into one imaginary game, I'm left with the ugliest 3-2 loss you've ever seen in your life.
Still, the learning curve is on.
I, for example, realized that keeping a third reliever around just so that I can try and corner the save category every week has very little actual utility and... shoring up my bench for the left side of the infield in any number of ways before yesterday would've at least given me one more run and another hit or two.
Hopefully I can at least avoid another situation where I'm putting seven batters up in a day and whoever I'm up against is batting nine.
So I've dropped my least effective reliever for a guy with... not a great average but at least a little power and can play short or third.
And I'm in the midst of a straight-up trade of one B+ player for another B+ player... giving up great average and a lot of speed for good average and good power, getting a second 2B and giving up my fifth outfielder to another dude who... has a lot of second basemen but could use a star outfielder.
In terms of Actual Baseball, I don't know if it'd be a perfect trade but... in terms of Fantasy Baseball, it seems about as equitable a filling of needs for both of us as I could possibly imagine, actually.
My tinkering will, of course, continue but... barring injuries and so on... my major needs are filled once that move and that trade go through.
An upgrade on one of my four remaining OFs would be nice or... possibly an upgrade at RP would be interesting down the line still and... I probably still have one starting pitcher to give if anyone would really be into it but... I'm feeling a good deal better.
I'm carrying three first basemen which seems excessive but... (a.) one of them is also 2B eligible which is a huge plus on my infield scheme and (b.) I'm pretty much gonna be always using one of them in my system as my utility hitter so, like, again that ameliorates the redundancy.
Analysis as of the roster that I'll have Thursday:
Remaining weaknesses: not much speed, only one "star" OF, RP core a little weak
Remaining excesses: don't necessarily need five SPs
How is everyone else feeling about their lineups now that we're into week two?
Am I the only one overthinking it this much?
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No, I'm overthinking like crazy, too. In fact, I just overthought myself into a trade proposal. Have a look.
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How did both my third basemen get injured on the same weekend?
How the fuck does this happen?
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Karma for beating me so handily last week?
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Nah, karma is what made my supposedly all-star line up of pitchers all suddenly completely terrible.
The third base thing was dumb-ass luck.
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Mr. Felix... unless Jeff Kent and Juan Pierre have the goddamn games of their lives tonight, flooding my statistics with RBIs and stolen bases such as a fertile lady who wants to make a small person would have her insides flooded with glorious seed... you have taken the week.
Congratulations and good game, sir.
EDIT: Holy shit, they stole enough bases to eke me into a tie for the week!
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Now that the first two weeks of the season are up, Yahoo has removed the free Live Scoring feature from the fantasy leagues, which pretty much sucks. I don't want to pay 9 bucks to see how my players are doing in real time. Checking the box scores for each isn't my idea of fun, but I have my principles, dammit!
Does anyone know of a way around this? Like maybe some kind of fantasy baseball RSS feed where you plug in a list of your players and it lets you know how they're doing on the day?
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wow, I was down either 2-8 or 1-9 or 0-9 all week and came back on the last day for a tie. Considering the guy I was playing against (Nabu, I think) had some double header leftovers, I think my team is in decent shape.
Edit:
Now that the first two weeks of the season are up, Yahoo has removed the free Live Scoring feature from the fantasy leagues, which pretty much sucks. I don't want to pay 9 bucks to see how my players are doing in real time. Checking the box scores for each isn't my idea of fun, but I have my principles, dammit!
Does anyone know of a way around this? Like maybe some kind of fantasy baseball RSS feed where you plug in a list of your players and it lets you know how they're doing on the day?
Ugh, that sucks ass, hadn't noticed it yet.
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I... just paid the nine bucks.
I'm a very sick man.
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If i didn't have habits (cough addictions cough) I would. I seriously thought about it, but then remembered that I can't do that.
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I already paid 90 dollars for mlb.tv this season. I refuse to allow myself to spend that much more money on internet baseball when there is so much real life baseball to be seen.
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I suddenly appear to have an over-abundance of second basemen. I sure could use some pitching since my best guy might be out for the whole year. Let's talk.
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What I'm in need of is...
My entire team not getting injured all the time.
Already Guerrero, Caberera and Glaus are dinged up and BJ Ryan and Ramirez were so hurt I had to just dump them outright.
Right now, I'd define my needs as:
3.) A better hitting backup catcher
2.) An upgrade on my number 2 reliever
1.) Someone with a decent bat who can play a shitload of positions to cover all these injuries
...but really, I don't have much I'd wanna give up, either.
My 3 4 and 5 outfielders, I'm hardly married to but... after that, I dunno what I'd be comfy losing.
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3.) A better hitting backup catcher
If you have a 3b, I have Piazza and Pudge.
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Mr. Felix... unless Jeff Kent and Juan Pierre have the goddamn games of their lives tonight, flooding my statistics with RBIs and stolen bases such as a fertile lady who wants to make a small person would have her insides flooded with glorious seed... you have taken the week.
Congratulations and good game, sir.
EDIT: Holy shit, they stole enough bases to eke me into a tie for the week!
'twas a hard-fought match, sir. Thank you. I was actually expecting a much worse finish for myself. Somehow I managed to lose in stolen bases, but win in home runs and RBI, thanks in large part to Carl Crawford and Ichiro combining for three homers and only two stolen bases. The magic continues this week, as Carlos Guillén hit a home run for me yesterday.
Anyway, I found myself leading in my two weakest stats, plus runs scored, by 1 or 2 apiece, and with a couple of days left in the week. Had things gone differently I could very well have been swept, and at one point I actually did fall to a projected 1-7-2.
Also:
Nah, karma is what made my supposedly all-star line up of pitchers all suddenly completely terrible.
Three of my all-star starters had a combined 12.21 ERA last week. My team ERA was an abysmal 7.71. I am hoping this means that they have purged all the suck from their systems and will all be really good at the same time this week. Also, your .154 average early on was still good enough to beat my .152. Considering that we went into last week's matchup as the top two teams in the league, it was a pretty sorry affair on both our parts. Kept it exciting, though.
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If I had a 3B to give, I'd be interested in Piazza, yeah.
But I already dropped my best 3B for injury and my second best is on the DL and... I'm left to just sorta hope that Melvin Mora gets hot out of nowhere because he was all I could find at the time.
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So my best pitcher (Carpenter) is on the DL, possibly done for the entire season. My second best pitcher (King Felix) left tonight's game with "tightness in the right elbow" after only a third of an inning. My third best pitcher is Rich Harden, whose right elbow instills about as much faith in me as a biscuit with two shits inside. My fourth best pitcher I hadn't even heard of until this year. My fifth best pitcher graduated from Princeton.
This, my friends, is a war of attrition.
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I would be a billionaire if I just had the sense to go to Vegas and bet that one of the players I put on the bench for that day would hit a home run. It is like fuck*ng clockwork. It is un-fuck*ng-believable.
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It is amazing how much my fantasy team is like the actual Mets...
Very good but not great, really only one or two moves from being the best and really only one or two injuries away from suddenly being completely fuck*ng terrible. Shuffling the bench players, trying to buy time until some dudes come back from injuries and solidify the situation.
In my case, it's about hoping that some free agents sift out my way down the road to make my batting line-up more flexible in the case of rain-outs and travel days, to strengthen my relief pitching and to maybe make my catchers less of a hitting liability.
In the Mets case, it's about... holding on until Pedro is healthy enough to start, Sanchez is healthy enough to middle relieve, Mota is off the suspension list to middle relieve and to let their three best triple-A prospects (Milledge, Gomez, Humber) ripen and wait for the inevitable injuries to come that call them up.
Thankfully, they've got probably the best back-up catcher in the NL, probably the best fourth outfielder in the NL and probably the best pinch hitter in the NL. It's big ifs but... if people heal properly and continue to develop at AAA, they have INSANE pitching and outfield depth.
Whereas... in a fantasy league, you don't get a disabled list or a minor league system, hence why I'm flying a bit more by the seat of my goddamn #####.
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My fantasy team is a lot like my favorite team, the Mariners. Promising pitchers drop like flies and we're left with a replacement free agent named "Gorzelanny." Unlike the Mariners, though, my offense is kicking all kinds of ass. Thank you, A-Rod!
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A-Rod is just completely insane.
Just completely insane.
Happily, though, Vlady's healthy again... so my offense is not as bad any more.
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Second place! Watch out, LFM. It's only a matter of time.
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It may well be, 'lack. It may well be.
Also, whoever Gashouse Gorillas is, good game.
I had to quickly scramble and start benching my relievers and base-stealers because you so clearly had those categories so early in the week.
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It may well be, 'lack. It may well be.
Also, whoever Gashouse Gorillas is, good game.
I had to quickly scramble and start benching my relievers and base-stealers because you so clearly had those categories so early in the week.
That's me. Laissez-faire, dude, Laissez-faire.
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Laissez-faire would have been nice for me last night. My original starting second baseman hit two homers with six RBIs. Oh well, I won those categories anyway.
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A fat lot of good Laissez-faire did me. I was up 7-1-2 on Saturday afternoon, then imbibed much of tequila that night and awoke with a hangover and a lineup card with like four guys who were taking Sunday off. I went on to lose the series and fall into a second-place tie.
The worst part is that I actually adjusted my lineup accordingly before I went to sleep that night, but in my besotted state I failed to notice that I was adjusting Monday's lineup by mistake. Oops.
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Am I the only one who is checking in on my team every day?
Jesus, the spare time I must have on my hands.
EVERYONE ELSE PLAY MORE SO THAT I FEEL LESS WEIRD ABOUT THIS.
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I'm checking my team every day, pretty much. Well, most days. You can tell by looking at the recent transactions page, which gives a good view of the revolving door that has become the 25th roster spot on my team.
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I check the score of my game every day. Make some small adjustments. For instance, just sat Prince Fielder and put Rafael Furcal in at the utility position. We are tied in steals.
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A-Rod has pretty much gone ice cold in the past four or five days. That's just a damn shame. You know, for the children.
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I check my team pretty much every day, but I know so little about what the hell I'm doing that I don't end up doing much.
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I check every day
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Turbo Ninjas, I salute the all of you. Good game.
Kept a dude guessing until the end.
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I just dropped from second to fourth place. I think I'm making the wrong moves here. Even looking at my roster, I can't recognize half these names. Tom Gorzelanny? Kelly Johnson? Is that even a man? When did I add these guys?
I think I need to take a step back let things sort themselves out.
But if you guys need a second baseman or a starting pitcher, I'm still your guy.
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But I guess things aren't so bad. I just remembered that my three best pitchers are and have been on the DL for most of the month. Once they get healthy, my pitching staff will be an absolute beast.
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Basically, my biggest mistake so far has been that I dropped Aramis Ramirez when he got injured and went with the competent-but-nothing-special Melvin Mora at third. But that was early and... I can't hold that against myself too much.
My third reliever is kind of a question mark, my back-up catcher can't hit anything other than the occasional dinger, I only have one bench guy to fill both 3B and SS on rain days or off-days... and I only have one legitimate base-stealer on my squad.
Some of these problems I can probably fix off the free agent list down the road but... finding a second decent base-stealer is kind of a stumper.
I'm waaaaaaay over thinking this. But it's distracting me from the fact that the Mets put their number 2 pitcher and their starting second baseman on the DL on the same goddamned day so... what the hell.
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Even looking at my roster, I can't recognize half these names. Tom Gorzelanny? Kelly Johnson? Is that even a man? When did I add these guys?
Can'd by this Braves fan for suspecting Kelly Johnson might actually be a woman.
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Hmm, Kelly Johnson got a stolen base for me tonight. For all I care, she can have like five pu$$ys if she keeps that up.
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I have gone completely insane shuffling my bench.
I figured out a set of nine guys who I actually want to be my set "usual" nine batters every day, barring rain-outs off-days and rest-days... and I otherwise just fuckin' cleared the deck... reconstructed my bench strictly on the lines of power and position flexibility.
I now have five different batters who are listed for multiple positions and a pitching staff constructed so that there's only one "benched" starting pitcher at any given time and so I can keep all relievers in the line-up at all times and...
The hope is that there will be never be a save that I "miss" in the shuffle.
Because here's the thing:
On a day to day basis, baseball is an insanely random series of events.
In any given game, the powerhitting catcher with no knees can luck into the back-end of a double steal and end up with a stolen base. In any given game, a banjo-hitting shortstop can get a mistake right down the middle and crank a home run.
If so much of the scoring of this particular game is going to be based on the simple accumulation of these semi-random events based as much on being there as talent relative to the rest of the major league... home runs, saves, stolen bases...
Then you gotta be in it to win it.
When your best nine AREN'T in, you gotta have the bench flexibility to at least... get them up to the plate where they MIGHT luck into a stolen base or a home run. Ditto for your pitchers and saves.
At the end of the day, every roster is gonna have about a third very average players and... they're gonna cancel each other out in terms of the averaged stats (ERA, AVG, WHIP) and stats you need to get a lot of every day such as runs and strikeouts and RBI...
When it comes to the bench of your team, you gotta just get as many guys on the "field" every night and roll the goddamn dice on their gathering the accumulated stats while their averaged stats are canceled out by everyone else's averaged stats.
This is not to say that you should just have... all multi-position players over talented players?
But there's something to be said for keeping your second-line position-flexible so that you can hold onto every goddamn one of those cheap collected statistics for the win.
I would still upgrade my back-up catcher if the opportunity presented itself.
I would still upgrade my third reliever up to a "star" if the opportunity presented itself.
I still essentially only have one actual "base stealer".
But barring injuries, my concerns are falling lower and lower on the chart.
I at least now have my "core" hitters and starters figured out and the flexibility off the bench to pick up the cheapie points on the off-days.
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Here's what bothers me the most: The unpredictability of off-days. You can't tell if your guy is going to get the day off to rest unless you check each team's lineup when they're posted an hour prior to first pitch. I can't be bothered to do that for all my guys. Catchers are usually a little more predictable since the backups usually play on Sunday afternoon games. Too bad my catcher is a Cub, so pretty much all of his games are afternoon games. So I just keep the same guys in the same spots in my lineup, hoping that some utility asshole doesn't start in place of one of my guys.
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Jesus fuck I don't understand baseball. I mean, I'd have to not drink to have any chance of pulling this off.
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That's a tall order for someone who drinks (a lot).
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John Maine got NL pitcher of the month.
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And I just picked him up! Oliver Perez, too. Now I've got two Mets and like 73 Yankees.
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Ah, Maine and Perez.
The two most frustratingly erratic starting pitchers in baseball goddamn history.
On any given start, either one of them can pitch like Roger Clemens or... the corpse of Samuel Clemens! And usually never in-between. A no-hitter into the seventh or fuckin' batting practice.
Welcome to my hell, melack. I hope you enjoyed your fingernails.
Those motherfuckers'll be gone in, like, a week.
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You're probably right. But a dude can hope.
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I was hoping it would never get to this point, but I've done it. I've added a player that was already on my roster at one point in the season. Welcome back, Sheff. You've completed the full circle.
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Fuck me right in the ass with a giant black cock. (http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/news;_ylt=ApGKV.C.ScMO3sC5WRtpCWY5nYcB?slug=ap-cardinals-carpenter&prov=ap&type=lgns)
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Radiodread... good game, well-enjoyed.
Notes on this week in TOUAMB Made-Up Baseball:
How did I only get one stolen base this week? How does this happen? I should be getting two out of Juan Pierre a week ALONE. This is the only reason I start him every day he plays. I mean, he hits a decent average and scores runs but, seriously, the stolen bases are the only reason he's in the roster 6 or 7 days a week.
How did I only steal one base (Chase Utley, somehow!) and still get the tie in that category?
***
Why does the Can't-Cut List still think that Justin Mourneau is worthy of being on the list? It's a serious cockblock in my attempts to upgrade my team, when I have three other players I can start at the position... two of which (Kent, Green) I want to start every day and one of which (Youklis) who can play tons of positions on the off-days and at least scores runs.
I mean, the dude has solid power numbers but... shit average and can only play one position.
In the "real world" he would still be a great player to have at first but... in an eight-team fantasy league, only power at only one position is... okay off the bench but DEFINITELY not Can't Cut. I've had to pass up on four or five different upgrades at 1B or OF (or both in one player!) that people later snapped up because this above-average player is still Can't-Cut.
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I have three of the top five relievers in terms of saves but... their WHIP and ERA are total crap. This is interesting to me.
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Why can't I bring myself to part with Cabrera as my back-up SS? He only plays one position, terrible average, no power, scores some runs and... steals a few bases but... I could definitely upgrade off the free agent list. Is it just people I like that if Vlad goes on fire, Cabrera is scoring the runs he drives in and it's like a two-fer?
I don't understand myself.
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And yet you finished 8-0-2 for the week. Talk to me when your best pitcher goes down from shoulder surgery for 4 months.
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My best reliever... BJ Ryan went down so long that I had to just drop him. I dropped Aramis Ramirez, like an idiot, when he was injured. Troy Glaus was on the DL for an extended period of time. I had to drop Figgins for the same reason and he's a five-position stolen base machine off the bench.
A dude is not unfamiliar with the injury bug. Keeping Figgins or Ramirez would've been a big boost and made those two ties into wins. I'm... a little obsessive compulsive, definitely.
...to the point where I dropped Cabrera for a rookie Cub who seems to be roughly equal except he's a multi-position player which is such a huge advantage off the bench that I had to just go with it.
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Yeah, I uh... I got destroyed. I need to make serious changes in my lineup, but I don't know what. I got some other players last night.
Anyhow, good game LFM.
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Well, LFM, you were right about that Oliver Perez thing. He's kind of a tease. It's a good thing I've been stocking up on pitchers these past few weeks, to the point that my position player bench was only two-deep. I've weeded him out in favor of a base-stealer with absolutely no home run power at all.
Also: Man am I glad to have Roger Clemens off my hands. He's probably going to be great this year, and with the Yankees offense he's probably going to collect a ton of wins, but I just can't fuck*ng stand the guy. So I traded him for my favorite team's Japanese catcher!
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I have said it before and I'll say it again:
I know more about the Mets than the Mets do. If I say something about the Mets, it's just true.
I am, of course, not all knowing on all subjects... but I know what I know.
Such subjects include... comparative religion, the Mets, screenwriting theory, the history of rural upstate New York, politics, American radio stations, comic books, the National Lampoon radio hour, Guns N Roses, progressive rock, good coffee and why all meat should be cooked well-done.
Oliver Perez and John Maine are complete and total dickteases. Sometimes they will decide to go eight innings giving up two hits and striking out ten. And sometimes they will let Bengie Molina hit two home runs off of them for some reason.
This is just another piece of Mets wisdom brought to you by me.
As for Roger... Roger is gonna be great but... yeah, to have him this early, you're gonna need a team that can sacrifice a roster spot for three weeks to hold onto him. I'm glad you worked something out, especially to get yourself a halfway-decent catcher.
Catchers are such a premium in our league... which makes it all the odder that somehow Motherfuckers has Posada, LoDuca AND Martin.
Every other team seems to either have one good catcher and one complete scrub backup or two mediocre catchers but... somehow, he's got three front-line starting catchers to the point where he's limited the flexibility of the rest of his bench.
I've spent the first five weeks of my team trying to... work around how over-strong I was at 1B and... I still haven't figured out how I could trade him fairly to someone else, without my getting ripped off just because I don't like that he only plays one position and can't hit for average.
I mean, he DOES hit home runs and he DOES get RBIs. I can't just throw him away for an afterthought... and I can't just drop him out of frustration.
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I've only had one catcher on my roster the whole year because I didn't want to have to deal with seeing if my catcher was going to get the day off or not, and then plugging in the backup. My offense has been so anemic lately that I can't really afford that luxury.
Is John Maine more reliable at least than Oliver Perez? I hope so, because that's the Met I kept.
My outfield has been an absolute revolving door, but I really haven't done much at all with my infield. This is mostly because my 1B is slumping, but he hit 58 homers last year so I have a lot of patience for him. My 2B I've switched a couple times, but not since like week 2. My SS and 3B are A-Rod and Jeter, and those guys have played like 164 games every season since the 1930s, so I'm not really worried about them.
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Maine is definitely more reliable than Perez.
Maine's major problem is... losing focus mid-game and giving up a few dingers in an inning before he snaps out of it. If he had an attention span, he'd be a goddamn All-Star. And he's showing signs of at least having... more of one.
Perez is just all over the place. And it's not like Maine where he loses it at some point and then... a coach comes out and reminds him he's playing in a major league game and then he gets it together. There are just some days he completely has it and some days he doesn't at all.
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Man, I love it when a guy is added to your team, then a couple hours later it's revealed he's got groin tightness that will rob him of his speed for a few weeks and the only reason you added him is for stolen bases.
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It's all about having multi-position players, 'lack.
If you got enough guys who can play multiple positions, you can cover semi-injuries like that like it ain't no thing.
In my thirteen batters, I got five guys who can play outfield (and hence hold any of the OF spots or utility, four slots) I got four guys who can play first, I got four guys who can play second, three guys who can play third, two guys who can play short and two guys who can catch.
I only got four guys who can only fill one slot and utility and... two of those guys are catchers... where it's very hard to find a frontline catcher who's eligible for other positions. The only two guys I've got who are non-outfield non-catcher batters who can't play multiple positions are... both on the Can't Cut list.
In my four-man bench yesterday (which went 8-18 with three home runs, sadly for me) those four guys could fill all eight hitting positions between them. Ya gotta have the whole thing plotted out.
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Dear Yahoo,
Thanks for telling me that Ryan Howard would miss the rest of the series against Arizona with a quadricep injury. Per your instructions, I benched him tonight. This is the same game that he would later come in for to get a pinch hit grand slam.
Fuck You,
Melack
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Hey... it's a feast or famine thing.
I got a three-hit complete game shutout out of my newest pitcher...
And then my offense has gone 3-26 with one at-bat left tonight.
The only solace I've got is that I'm probably gonna field nine batters on a Thursday and... hopefully, I'll catch up on accumulated stats by sheer volume.
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Dear Yahoo,
Thanks for telling me that Ryan Howard would miss the rest of the series against Arizona with a quadricep injury. Per your instructions, I benched him tonight. This is the same game that he would later come in for to get a pinch hit grand slam.
Fuck You,
Melack
Cheer up, Hamburger.
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You're right. I should cheer up. Out of my two newest pitchers one got a win, and the other had a no decision complete game shutout. It may not be a W, but 9 scoreless innings should do wonders for my team's ERA.
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Dear Yahoo,
Thanks for telling me that Ryan Howard would miss the rest of the series against Arizona with a quadricep injury. Per your instructions, I benched him tonight. This is the same game that he would later come in for to get a pinch hit grand slam.
Fuck You,
Melack
NEVER trust Yahoo's injury experts. They are wrong in infuriating ways. I know this from fake plastic football, where the "experts" have given me incorrect advice on no fewer than 10 bench decisions. In particular, Yahoo got Stallworth's situation exactly wrong last year, stringing me along for FOUR WEEKS when he didn't play, then telling me he was definitely out the week he got 180 yards. Just remember that Yahoo is getting their information from the coaches/managers, who want the opposing team to assume the worst.
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I guess they were at least partially right, because now Ryan Howard is on the DL without having played a single inning since that pinch-hit appearance. He must have come in injured to get that grand slam.
Either way, it's all well and good because I finished 9-1 last week. Back in third place! However, I am worried that there seems to be no end in sight to LFM's sheer dominance.
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Well-played, Motherfuckers.
The only reason I squeaked out two or three of those categories was Mourneau finally deciding to show up for me, for one day, on Sunday and go 3-5 with three runs. Glaus going down with injury REALLY kicked my ass, lemme-tell-ya-what.
A dude now goes up against Venomous Monkeys, the dude most likely to wipe the smile off my face.
A dude needs more run-scoring, a dude needs more speed, a dude needs maybe oooooone more closer.
A dude needs another shortstop, a dude needs another catcher, a dude might need two more shortstops if Glaus DLs.
But a dude likes the core of his team a LOT. It's just a matter of shuffling the bench for maximum strength.
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The fact that you could ever play Glaus, an immobile 6'5" man-beast, at short is itself a sin against God. If there was any justice in this world, you'd have had this problem a long time ago.
But then again, my shortstop is Derek Jeter, who is really only a "shortstop" in the sense that he stands in that location. The typical shortstop duties, like fielding routine groundballs, he is exempt from. You gotta love that Gold Glove award!
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Aaaaaaaaand benching Glaus on Monday means that, of course, he's well enough to play and go 2-4 with a homer and three RBIs. Holy wow.
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Felix Hernandez makes his first start in nearly a month today! I could not be more excited, especially since the sickly Angels offense gives him a chance to ease himself back into the game. With Chris Carpenter's right elbow now sitting in 12 different pieces, Felix is my ace. Watch out, Other Guys.
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I'm slowly coming to peace with my ownership of Justin Mourneau, in that... dude isn't gonna hit .300 but... his home runs and RBIs are slowly balancing it out. I've also come to grips with the fact that unless I had a multi-position catcher, more than two catchers would be sort-of a waste of a roster spot.
So I've now whittled my "as of right now, barring injuries and slumps" roster carousel down to:
WANTS
a third shortstop who hits for average, steals bases and can play some other position
a fourth reliever with a high save count, regardless of other factors
an upgrade over my fifth starting pitcher
COULD GIVE
Brandon Webb if the deal was right
Shawn Green if the deal was extraordinary
Jeff Kent if the deal was extraordinary
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Shawn Green is still alive?
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I forget who Venomous Monkeys is, but good call on dropping Jarrod Washburn right before he got shelled by the Angels. As a Mariners fan, I can tell you that his sub-3.00 ERA absolutely wasn't going to last.
I've taken to giving my regulars an occasional day off, even though it really makes no sense. It does in real life, when real stamina needs to be taken into account, but in fantasy baseball there's really no reason for it. Still, it helps me delude myself into thinking one of my stars who's only doing okay just needs a quick break before he can really take off.
I really hope my plan to drop power in favor of speed pays off.
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Shawn Green is alive and well and hitting .325 with five home runs.
Dude ain't fielding a goddamn lick but... Lord knows he never did anyway.
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But... gold glove! Those things are sacred!
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I have definitely given up on trying to catch the VMs in the SB category.
If I can just take any five categories this week, it's victory enough.
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Here's what I was shown after clicking on Chris Young from my roster page:
May 19 Arizona Diamondbacks OF Chris Young (groin) was pulled from the game, Friday, May 18, against the Pittsburgh Pirates, after having suffered tightness in his right groin, according to the Associated Press. He will be re-evaluated Saturday, May 19.
(I have Chris Young, the pitcher for the Padres)
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Has anyone heard of a video game called Ultimate Baseball Online? I'm writing an article on it for a gaming website I intern for. It's pretty cool in that teams can be 9 real people, each manning their own position and waiting their turn to hit in the lineup. It's sort of like an MMORPG (think World of Warcraft) because you create a player and gradually build your skills with every game you play.
Anyways, it's pretty fun for a totally free game, except when you play with a whiny dick who yells at you for getting picked off at first base... for the third time in a row. Hey, at least I got three hits in a row!
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If I have my math right, Venomous Monkeys defeated me 4-5-1... and so I say, internet congratulations. Josh Beckett going to the DL is not an excuse, it is merely an explanation. Well played.
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We meet again, LFM. I believe the last time we faced off, you took me behind the shed to the tune of an 8-2 drubbing. Do not plan on the same happening again.
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Wow... somehow Hudson tanked enough to eke me out the ERA stat. That's... kind of amazing. However, ironically, my last minute roster moves to try and get a tie in SB ended up dropping me INTO a tie on RBI. I overthought myself into a hole by trying to game the SB category.
Hopefully, before this season is over, I will learn to accept that... like... the SB category is a crapshoot that can't be worried too much about in terms of mid-week roster shuffles and just... get base-stealers on your squad and play your best nine in any given day. And hope for the best.
There were two or three different days where I talked myself out of Youklis over Pierre on the thought that the dude can steal two bases on any given day. However: when you're not gettin' on base, you can't steal bases. Bleh.
Well played, regardless, Monkeys.
Hello, Reagans... this should be a fun week.
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Well played, regardless, Monkeys.
Thanks, and Jesus fuck. I can't believe I've got a tenuous grip on second place. I have never watched baseball on purpose. The only reason I tell people I like the Blue Jays is because it pisses a guy off at work. Seriously, LFM, you are working this issue like you are the Henry Ford of internet baseball. Did you see where I finally had to get rid of Mariano Rivera? I had heard he was good at baseball, but it turns out that was incorrect. It may be that my team is just as good as it is going to get.
Also, tangentially related in that sports is sports, fuck the Mighty Ducks right in their puckered bungholes, every last one of them. Fuck Chris Pronger. Especially fuck Teemu Selanne. Fuck him twice, with John Holmes' cock. Niedermayer can eat a dick too. I got to watch that goat-fuck of a game on the day I hosted my brother-in-law's wedding, too. Also, I met my mother-in-law for the first time this time home.
But you know, I'm glad to be back.
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Niedermayer can eat a dick too.
Niedermayer -- he's a dead man.
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Haha, I just noticed the little "Note to Self" post-it note at the bottom of my team's page. I filled it out before the season and totally forgot about it. Here, I'll share it with you guys:
Note to self: no matter how tempting, DO
NOT draft Carlos Baerga.
Home runs: good for hitters, bad for
pitchers.
David Eckstein: great shorstop, or GREATEST shortstop?
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This outsider doesn't understand AW's post, but thinks there has to be a story behind Nabu never having met his mother in law before?
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This outsider doesn't understand AW's post, but thinks there has to be a story behind Nabu never having met his mother in law before?
Oh my yes, is there ever a story behind that. One day I'll tell you it, and the Legend of El Chupa Nibre, as well.
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Wombat - When you work your way through the suggested movie viewings thread and reach the right one you will get AW's reference.
Or, you could just watch this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K92OVFeGgIE) short Youtube clip. I didn't get the quote 100% correct...
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I met that man's brother!
PS apparently one of the writers of that movie was in a frat at WashU. ZBT, if I recall correctly. Other frats are "The Gay Frat" or "The Coke Frat"... ZBT is "The Illegal Frat." (also apparently quite jewish, but, that is not as fun to point out.)
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PS apparently one of the writers of that movie was in a frat at WashU. ZBT, if I recall correctly.
That would be Harold Ramis.
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That would be Harold Ramis.
Man that guy has basically had the definitive uneven career. From the subl (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080487/) ime (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0077975/) to the ridiculous (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093516/), ridiculous (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0289848/), ridiculous (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0102813/).
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This thread is veering dangerously far from esoteric baseball geekery territory.
This is probably a good thing.
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It was noticed elsewhere that this thread had stayed dangerously on topic fof 17 pages.
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Well, LFM. Looks like our trade went through. Let's hope it works out well for both of us. Is that the first blockbuster deal of the season?
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I traded Ichiro for Utley with... somebody and... though Ichiro's numbers are slightly better in some aspects, I just had too many outfielders to fit all my various statistical needs, for better or for worse. I gotta fit in Pierre somewhere to... dick me over on average while I try in vain to get the SB point.
Your hitters are insane, mel. Good on ya. This is a very weird week in baseball.
I continue to try and strengthen myself at short and catcher off the bench but... I've gotten to a point where I'm kinda just where I am with my starters and to a large extent my pitchers and I gotta roll with it.
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Yeah, the funny thing about my hitters is that this week's numbers have been buoyed by two guys I started the year with - Uggla and Sheffield - only to drop them and then pick them back up a few weeks down the road. Also, having John Smoltz decide he doesn't ever want to give up a run is nice.
Ryan Howard is due to return from the DL in a few days. That means that I'll need to start playing Sheffield in the OF, which means one of my new guys is getting the sack. I guess this is a good problem to have? I dunno. Howard wasn't really hitting lights out even when he was healthy. My team has done a lot better without him.
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Yeah, oddly enough, I just picked Orlando Cabrera back up, myself and... I did the same thing with Glaus earlier in the season.
I think we're at the point in the season, now, where all the players are really... finding their level, we'll say and...
I think I'll be a bit more settled after that, barring monster slumps and/or injuries.
Right now, I'd only consider moving... my fourth and fifth starting pitchers, Marquis and Gorzelanny, and... two of my four bench guys, Kent and Green... and even that's mostly just because I'd like a third catcher or shortstop to complete the pilability of my roster. If I could have three options at every hitting position (with five outfield "options") that'd probably be the best of all worlds.
But there aren't many more solid starters (by the standards of an eight team fantasy league, of course) in the free agent pool and... simply "dropping" Kent or Green for the best shortstop or catcher on the FA list would weaken me at either OF or 2B.
So it's a weird balance. There's kind of not much more I can do at this point without... trading, you know?
And really, Green should be a pretty enticing offer, considering the dude's numbers and 1B/OF eligibility.
I dunno. I could tinker with this forever, of course, I guess that's why it's so fun.
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Man that guy has basically had the definitive uneven career. From the subl (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080487/) ime (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0077975/) to the ridiculous (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093516/), ridiculous (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0289848/), ridiculous (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0102813/).
Surely this (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0107048/) belongs in the sublime column too.
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Surely this (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0107048/) belongs in the sublime column too.
Absolutely. I just looked at what I had and decided I had already gone overboard. I'm not good with moderation . . . but you all knew that.
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Ahh, so you didn't even want Bobby Abreu then? This was just a way to circumvent the no-cut rule for Brandon Webb, just selling him for a bag of magic beans. Works for me. Bobby Abreu hasn't been a "home run threat" since 2004, and now that he plays for the Yankees he's not going to need to steal nearly as many bases as in years past. So now his only real threat is hitting for a high average, which at .236 after nearly 200 ABs... well, suffice it to say he's not too valuable right now.
As for Webb, you have to think that a high-K, high-groundball Cy Young winner won't post a 3.89 ERA for too long. That's what I'm hoping, at least. Not to get too stat geeky, but his expected fielding-independent ERA (http://www.hardballtimes.com/main/stats/players/index.php?playerId=1692&firstName=Brandon&lastName=Webb) is less than .20 higher than last year. So there's always that.
Don't let me down, convoluted sabermetrics. Don't let me down.
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Oh, I wanted Abreu as a bench option but... with Beckett still on the DL, I wanted one more start this week out of somebody to counter your good pitching this week so... I bit the bullet and just took the best starting pitcher I could find who was gonna start Sunday.
Granted, Abreu was probably my most likely guy to drop if and when I get Beckett back but... I wasn't just taking him as the fantasy league equiv of a salary dump. I thought he'd be a solid line-up filler on Mondays and Thursdays just on the merit of scoring runs from being on such a strong hitting team.
But your pitching dominance this week sorta forced my hand.
As for Webb... he probably is gonna improve but... he was consistently my least-effective starting pitcher and I couldn't just... release him so, yeah, I was probably gonna jump at nearly any offer that didn't mean giving anyone else up in the deal.
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You know, I was thinking. Do you think real MLB general managers have a message board like this one where they cordially share strategy, vent frustration and humbly celebrate victory? I would pay good money to see that, especially the posts where Billy Beane talks about how pissed he is that his guys keep falling apart.
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We're in the final day and things couldn't be any closer, 'Falls. The only stats that have been well and decided are RBIs and maybe Ks. This should be an interesting Sunday.
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It appears you got me this week, 'Lack. Kudos.
The Webb deal seems to have bitten me on the ass this week but... I think in the long term, with Beckett coming back off the DL, it should suit me quite well.
I mean... that's why I've sucked the last couple of weeks, my pitching relied hard on Beckett.
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It was a hard fought battle, but a close one. I only came away with +2 points.
Does anyone read The Dugout (http://dugout.progressiveboink.com/)? It's sort of like an online comic / theoretical AIM chatroom about MLB players. Pretty great stuff. The newest one, "What Now Mr. Dork", is hilarious if only for the thought of Albert Belle using AIM.
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The Delmon/Dmitri Young things on the dugout are fuck*ng hilarious. Highly recommended.
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Four of my players hit home runs as their only hits today. Three of them were solo shots.
Dustin Pedroia is doing good, but it is bad having so many Red Sox on the same team.
I wish I had Hanley Ramirez. He might not have the absolute best stats, but they are pretty good and I like having players I like in real life.
Also, whoever does that pitching thing is awesome, even if I don't know whether I like it or not.
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Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's Hanley.
Actually, I shouldn't say that. Everyone on my roster besides King Felix is open for trades, if the right offer comes along.
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The Fightin' Phlogs seem to be playing this game with full utilization of "The Carousel Theory".
It isn't to say that I don't use that technique for my bench players myself but... it'll be interesting to see how that works with an entire pitching staff. I suppose I will have to assume that I am not gonna get the save, win or strikeout stats no matter what I do and work from there.
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Yeah, he basically has the lock down on three categories going in, and then just hope to get some of the others, I guess. It would also offset a bad pitching performance (for era and whip), but would also create more bad pitching nights, which is why I don't no whether or not it is good.
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So do we feel like that is sketchy or not? I know that some folks do that with hockey, and my brother got all bent out of shape about it. However, my buddy at work does it full on. I don't have enough time to devote to it, to get it done right.
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Anything short of collusion is OK by me.
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Anything Goes, I say.
If Yahoo lets you do it, I am cool with it.
I would, however, like A-CAP to get involved in this competition again. I have made a good offer for a dude's overflowing bounty of catchers and have gotten no response.
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It's hard for him to move in a quick manner; He is an entire university.
You, on the other hand, are an entire baseball team. Much faster.
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No one moves as fast as the crazy asian dude with the eskimo sunglasses.
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Even one who drinks (a lot)?
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Even one who drinks (a lot)?
I move most rapidly when I am stumbling and falling down.
Drunken Fist!
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Well, I had three starting pitchers going today. The first two both got wins, one of which was even a complete game shutout. I had given up the third for dead when I saw he'd given up 4 runs in the first. Well, now it's the sixth and he's up 5-4. Let's see if I can go 3 for 3 on wins!
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Spoke way too soon. He gave up 7 earned runs and lost. He's also the ace of my favorite team - woo!
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I have made a good offer for (A-CAP)'s overflowing bounty of catchers and have gotten no response.
You and me both. The quality of work from the catcher position seems to drop off remarkably. I would never have known that if it wasn't for being in this fantasy baseball league. I'm learning!
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Yeah, quality catchers aren't easy to come by. All I had to do to get mine was trade the guy who might very well be the greatest right-handed pitcher of all time. Granted, the Rocket wasn't due to start for a month when the deal went down, but still. A hefty price.
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The funny thing about my enormous pitching staff is that it came about entirely by accident. Perez, Mitre, and Escobar were all added for spot starts late in the week a couple of weeks back, and then I realized they were better than most of the other guys on my staff and kept them around. It's actually really easy to shuffle players when they're all pitchers, though, since you can check which ones are starting days in advance, and even with twelve pitchers I've never had so many guys starting that I had to bench a reliever.
It's also working out a lot better than my original strategy of ignoring home runs and trying to take the other offensive categories instead. Even in fantasy ball, a home run is also an RBI and a run scored, making it three times more valuable than a stolen base. The whole carousel thing would probably be a better idea if I had at least a couple more position players, though. Poor Chipper finally got hurt this week, and the best I could do was move Mark Teahen to third and start Chipper in the utility spot, as a sort of symbolic act to show that I would bench him if I could. At least I'm fielding a player at each position again... for a short while, I had a grand total of zero catchers on my team (not counting Mauer).
I managed to trade one pitcher for Soriano, which will help that situation a bunch, but it would really help if I could just get rid of Carlos Zambrano. On a normal fantasy rotation he'd be okay, but alongside all my other guys he's dead weight, and I can't cut him. I'll give him away if I have to, but it would be nice if I could package him with someone else in a two-for-one deal for somebody I'd actually keep.
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Funny thing about Carlos Zambrano. I'm sitting here watching the Cubs-Braves game on TBS, having tuned in when it was 2-1 Braves in the 5th. It looked like Zambrano was doing pretty well, so I was thinking about your offer. Maybe he'd turned a corner? I was even constructing trade packages in my mind.
Well, now it's 7-1 Braves in the bottom of the same inning. The icing on the cake is the highlight they showed that took place during the commercial break: Zabrano yelling at his catcher in the dugout for a passed ball, the catcher points to the scoreboard and the 13 hits the Braves have so far. Zambrano didn't like that much and decided to punch the guy.
So I don't think I'll be trading for him any time soon. But good luck! He's a great pitcher, I'm sure he'll get it figured out once he decides to stop being completely batshit insane.
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This thread is unshakably on topic.
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The thread started to veer a little bit around page 17, (womabt even paid us a visit!) but like a car whose tires run over those little grooves on the side of the highway, we were violently shaken right back on track.
It probably helps that this is one of the more esoteric threads in recent memory.
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This thread is unshakably on topic.
I blame the absence of Wombat. And me. Purple monkey dishwasher.
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I blame the absence of Wombat. And me. Purple monkey dishwasher.
Anybody ever have Chocolate Babies (http://www.candywrappermuseum.com/babies.html)?
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I claim partial credit (http://touamb.com/index.php/topic,3654.msg92753.html#msg92753) for the attempted derailment. You guys are like the Strat-o-Matic club in high school. They had to be chased out of their meetings by the fire department during drills.
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First time this has happened this year: I've got two starting pitchers in the same game. I guess it's good because there's a much better chance of getting the win as long as no douchebag reliever comes in and takes it from me.
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It's actually really easy to shuffle players when they're all pitchers, though, since you can check which ones are starting days in advance...
How/where do you do this?
I want to try to see Maddux pitch some day when he's at home but I never seem to find out he's pitching until the day of, when of course it's much harder to alert friends/arrange time off/actually go. Is this one of those things on the internets somewhere?
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I love that this thread, which I read religiously despite not understanding a damn thing on it, is so rigorously on-topic. As such, I will make no statements that might change that. Party on, imaginary baseball managers.
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How/where do you do this?
I want to try to see Maddux pitch some day when he's at home but I never seem to find out he's pitching until the day of, when of course it's much harder to alert friends/arrange time off/actually go. Is this one of those things on the internets somewhere?
In the team thing, there will be a little carat on the day they are pitching.
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I have changed my strategy a bit after giving up on Webb too quick and sort fuck*ng myself over for two weeks in doing that.
Once I have two of every position, it's more important to just have the best hitters available than being able to field nine men every single day. I got too much into the idea of position insurance.
I have also sort of started to accept that stolen bases and saves are essentially chaos theory and you can't know all the factors that go into knowing how many your team will get in any given week. Gotta just put guys who often get those stats on the field and hope for the best.
I'm not very happy with my back-up catcher still, of course, and I'll probably always be looking for upgrades over my 4 and 5 starting pitchers but I think I'm in more of a place of tweaking for a while and not big overhauls.
I'm pretty set with my usual starting eight position players, my relief core and my top three pitchers. It's just a matter of adjusting to scheduling, picking my utility guy based on what I need that week and... otherwise, just trying to shuffle the back-end of my team.
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Am I the only one so far with a player on the no-cut list who's out for several months? I feel like I'm playing with a roster one man smaller than the rest of you, which I'm pretty sure is the case.
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Am I the only one so far with a player on the no-cut list who's out for several months? I feel like I'm playing with a roster one man smaller than the rest of you, which I'm pretty sure is the case.
Yeah, you're getting fucked. I have a utility man that I can't cut that I basically never play unless one of my other clowns has the day off. Hafner. Doesn't even have a position. If this had been a live draft, I never would have taken him. Too limiting, in my book.
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I think that's because he's strictly a DH in real life. The same goes for a guy like Jim Thome. The idea of those two immobile tanks being considered "utility" players makes me laugh every time.
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Also, no matter how far we've progressed in the season, I keep getting tricked into thinking the little post-it note with the red means player injury news. I keep scaring myself, clicking it and remembering that it just means recent news. I swear, I have no idea how I'm in second place because half the shit on here either frightens or confuses me. Like the trading block? I hear talk of that mythical feature, but I've never been able to locate it with any certainty.
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I think that's because he's strictly a DH in real life. The same goes for a guy like Jim Thome. The idea of those two immobile tanks being considered "utility" players makes me laugh every time.
Well, it's bullshit. For there to be an auto-draft and to get stuck with a stiff like that in that position is absurd. I have my second 1B there most of the time, or an OF. I get nothing for him - he can't even sub in for anyone else who isn't playing. Not good.
Also, no matter how far we've progressed in the season, I keep getting tricked into thinking the little post-it note with the red means player injury news. I keep scaring myself, clicking it and remembering that it just means recent news. I swear, I have no idea how I'm in second place because half the shit on here either frightens or confuses me. Like the trading block? I hear talk of that mythical feature, but I've never been able to locate it with any certainty.
Like the female orgasm!
Thank you, I'm here all week, enjoy the veal.
I am deeply ashamed of myself.
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I grow... closer to a "perfect" line-up of hitters.
It's like that point in a horror movie where the guy turning into a monster is told that he's getting worse and he instead claims that he's getting better. Because being a monster is better. Yeah. I am putting too much into this little game.
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Today, my 9 hitters are going to be playing 12 games. This could give me a huge boost in the counting stats if they would all just sack the fuck up.
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fuck*ng Roger Clemens. I hang onto him for all this time, then I'm out late last night celebrating my wife's graduation, and I forget to set the lineup ahead of time. Fuck you, Roger. It wasn't your fault, but fuck you.
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And he pitches six innings for the win. Nice!
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And now Hafner plays an actual position? No wonder I don't follow baseball.
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My guess is that... interleague play at National League parks finally got him the 5 starts necessary at a position to qualify for it in our type of fantasy league.
He came up as a first baseman so when they couldn't DH him but wanted his bat in the line-up in NL parks, they had to stick him at first and hope he didn't embarrass himself and... it musta happened five times.
If a player starts 5 times at a position, he's qualified to fill that roster slot in our league. Or if he comes into the game in some manner, starting or shifting over either way, 10 times, he's qualified.
Even though BJ Upton is usually an infielder, they gave him enough "rest" days playing the outfield for him to eventually qualify as an outfielder as well and now he's more versitile to me... when he's healthy, of course.
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I didn't realize that. I was under the impression the Yahoo experts assigned positions at the beginning of the year and those just stuck. But then again, my lineup isn't really about versatility. I have sort of a lefty-righty platoon at second base with Kelly Johnson and Dan Uggla, but that's about all the shifting I do. I usually just run out my A-team every day.
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I have utterly no clue what happened this week, but I like it.
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Which one of you guys are the Fightin' Phloggies? I tip my hat to you. A perfect record for the week is not easy to come by. I myself was close last week, with a 9-1 score on Sunday, but I managed to lose a couple pitching catergories on the very last day. Still, I can't complain with 7-2-1.
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I'd bitch and moan about dropping to fourth, but I made up five games on the DHR.
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Hey Radiodread, Turbo Ninjas and MOTHERFUCKERS, are you guys still playing?
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Congratulations, Gorillas. Y'all done whupped on me.
I mirror my Mets.
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Three open questions to the collective:
What does the catcher say to the pitcher on the isolated occasions that he walks the ball out to him?
How do they decide when they are going to bunt?
What the fuck's a balk?
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Three open questions to the collective:
What does the catcher say to the pitcher on the isolated occasions that he walks the ball out to him?
How do they decide when they are going to bunt?
What the fuck's a balk?
They called like 3 balks on the pitcher in the College Super-Regional game I watched yesterday (My U of Louisville Cards are going to the CWS -- kicked Ok. State's ass 20-2!). Apparently the pitcher's hands have to come to a complete stop before he begins his pitch.
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Three open questions to the collective:
What does the catcher say to the pitcher on the isolated occasions that he walks the ball out to him?
How do they decide when they are going to bunt?
What the fuck's a balk?
1. Sometimes it's to talk about pitching strategy in detail when simple hand signals aren't doing the trick. Other times, when a pitcher is getting rattled, it's to go out there and loosen him up, either with a "hang in there, buddy" or some kind of fart joke.
2. That's actually a pretty big debate among purists and stat-heads. There's no common rule for bunting, it's all up the the team's philosophy. Tony LaRussa's teams bunt all the goddamn time, while the Oakland A's almost never bunt.
3. I always just thought it was when the pitcher went from the windup back to just standing there while his foot is still on the rubber, but apparently there are waaaay more causes than I thought (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Balk#Balkable_actions)
Edit: wait, on the bunt thing do you mean how do players or manager's decide? Because players almost always get the sign from their manager. Batters rarely ever bunt on their own accord.
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Edit: wait, on the bunt thing do you mean how do players or manager's decide? Because players almost always get the sign from their manager. Batters rarely ever bunt on their own accord.
Well, I figured that was probably the case, but that's an interesting issue in and of itself (to me, anyway). How much of sports is like the managers playing chess against each other?
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Okay, so I'm taking a pretty big risk today. I'm purposely benching one of my best starting pitchers, Rich Hill. Why? Well, the guy's a fly ball pitcher who throws a ton of strikes, and he's going against my Seattle Mariners. I've seen enough of their games to know that these guys are free-swinging hackers who play baseball like it was a videogame (swinging at anything within three feet of the strike zone). As a result, they'll fall for terrible balls outside the zone and hardly ever walk, but like 6 guys in the lineup are near or above .300. Their knack for hitting anything in the zone and Rich Hill's knack for throwing strikes is a surefire recipe for pitching disaster. At least I think so. I have no idea if this move will pay off, but we'll see.
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That's the best part of fantasy sports, to me. I love trying to outwit the matchups - like in football trying to figure out if you have an outside runner who always goes left, and your opponent that week has a strong defense on that side, or if they are only good against inside runners, or whatever.
Sometimes you are running against the Raiders, so you just act like it's Christmas.
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Which one of you guys are the Fightin' Phloggies? I tip my hat to you. A perfect record for the week is not easy to come by. I myself was close last week, with a 9-1 score on Sunday, but I managed to lose a couple pitching catergories on the very last day. Still, I can't complain with 7-2-1.
That was me. I held the 10-0 record going into Sunday, but I was only leading in WHIP 1.53 to 1.54, with none of my pitchers starting for that day. Fortunately for me I managed to hold out anyway. It's also nice to see there are four teams in legitimate contention for first now. It's a real race again!
It's been a pretty wild ride for the Phlogistons lately. The week before I still had my Magic Roundabout rotation going and racked up 64 strikeouts, and then this week my offense exploded. I even managed to get more stolen bases than I did back when I was focusing on stolen bases to the exclusion of other stats. I think my strategy is beginning to solidify now, but I'm just hoping my players didn't use up all their mojo in that one week, or I could find myself in trouble soon. Time will tell.
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Hey Radiodread, Turbo Ninjas and MOTHERFUCKERS, are you guys still playing?
I am, kind of. I got players I like (well, most of them), but do not want to waste time fuck*ng around too much with this. My line-up seems good, but Ramirez and Andrew Jones have been struggling hard, I think that is hurting me bad. I got Pedroia at the exact right time, though. Also, most of my players are Red Sox, so I think it is a bad idea to have a lot of players on one team.
Also, I have a pitcher who through a no hitter tonight, and one who through a one hitter last week, but my only decent saves guy is on the bench.
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Yeah, you really ought to be given like 10 games in the standings for having a pitcher throw a no-hitter.
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This season has been uncharacteristically hands-off for me. Last year I actually had a "little conversation" with my boss about how people around the office noticed how much time I was spending tending to my fake baseball teams and maybe I wasn't busy enough with legitimate work. This season, I'm at a new office and it's the kind of place where the IT manager could actually pull up my browsing history and pass it to my new boss. The threat of being In Trouble for fantasy baseball again has made me ease off, but I pledge to visit my team at least three times a week.
That whitewashing last week shamed me into it.
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This season has been uncharacteristically hands-off for me. Last year I actually had a "little conversation" with my boss about how people around the office noticed how much time I was spending tending to my fake baseball teams and maybe I wasn't busy enough with legitimate work. This season, I'm at a new office and it's the kind of place where the IT manager could actually pull up my browsing history and pass it to my new boss. The threat of being In Trouble for fantasy baseball again has made me ease off, but I pledge to visit my team at least three times a week.
That whitewashing last week shamed me into it.
We tend to get a little bit of loose talk like that around the office here. Fortunately I work 14 - 16 hours a day, so people are mostly reluctant to throw any stones.
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I'm an unpaid intern, so they're lucky if I show up to work with ##### on.
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What is the best way to find out which pitchers are starting?
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Other than the little ^ thing before the opponent's name?
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Yeah, just click a few days forward on your team screen and make sure every dude with a ^ next to their scheduled opponent is starting.
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Also, I did not realize this, but sometimes your fielders will have a little 'x' right before the game. That turns out not to be good.
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I think that's something they only recently implemented. It means they're getting a day to sit on the bench and eat sunflower seeds, right?
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Let me know if anyone is interested in a football league up ins; I'd be willing and able to serve as commish (I know it's early, but pigskin is my sport).
Ok, I've gotten one response, so the teams ought to be pretty stacked. I'll wait and make a thread in July probably.
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Let me know if anyone is interested in a football league up ins; I'd be willing and able to serve as commish (I know it's early, but pigskin is my sport).
Ok, I've gotten one response, so the teams ought to be pretty stacked. I'll wait and make a thread in July probably.
Make it two.
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I'm sure I'll be down when the time comes. I'm not as much of an NFL fan as I am a baseball fan, but I'm not totally helpless, either. Jeff George is still playing, right?
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I'm sure I'll be down when the time comes. I'm not as much of an NFL fan as I am a baseball fan, but I'm not totally helpless, either. Jeff George is still playing, right?
He usually goes in the first round, but you might luck out and get Vince Evans.
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I know damn-near nothing about the NFL but... considering how much I trip over my own dick overthinking baseball, maybe I'd be better at fantasy football. Sort of in a Chauncey Gardner kinda way.
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The only thing that can derail the pretend baseball thread is pretend football. Interesting.
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I bought my first franchise today.
It is a softball team, and as my last name is Winslow . . .
Winslow's Homers.
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I am always down for football of the fantasy variety. And an 8ish team league sounds awesome.
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The once-a-week nature of fake football is much more friendly to my schedule. Consider me a player. I'll even pay a few bucks for the Yahoo or Sportsline upgrade if we're feeling spicy.
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I'm really looking forward to this year's football season. Last year, I felt just the opposite. It probably had more than a little to do with the fact that the Seahawks (my team) just lost in the Super Bowl.
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Casey Kotchman and BJ Upton injured in the same week?
It's official. Fantasy baseball hates me.
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Casey Kotchman and BJ Upton injured in the same week?
It's official. Fantasy baseball hates me.
Sorry to be happy, but hopefully two decent weeks could get me within a respectable distance back.
Edit: Oh, and how did you get Bobby Jenks? For some reason I cut him, then tried to get him back but I had to clear waivers, which I thought you were behind me on?
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My best pitcher got suspended 5 games for getting into a fight. Considering he was throwing down with a 6'5" black dude*, I'm just thankful he's not injured.
*I am not actually racist
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I dunno, the timing of my getting Jenks was a little bit odd...
I just put a claim on him and hoped that it would work and it did.
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Jenks should at least help you in the 'mind-bogglingly fat' category for pitchers. You might tie whoever has Joe Blanton and Bartolo Colon.
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LFM:
Wow, you are still destroying me. (long week, long week.. hopefully?)
Also, you changed your name? How?
Oh yeah, huge fan of big pitchers.
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Yeah, Falls, what gives? I thought your new team was going to come from a 100% roster overhaul or something. But a new team name? I hope you at least have a new hypothetical logo and uniforms.
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There used to be a website out there that featured hypothetical jerseys, etc. for everything from baseball to Aussie Rules Football - a place for people who thought they could do better than what was out there to show off. Wish I could find it.
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My team overhaul was going to happen completely but then... Upton and Kotchman got hurt and...
I had to end it partway through until I have those dudes back. I did make a shitload of moves recently, though.
So I changed my team's name to a different obscure late-career Mark Twain title and decided I'd pick it up later.
When those guys are back, I'm gonna make the three or four finishing moves to the overhaul if I still can.
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The Cubs just traded my backup catcher to the Padres. He goes from an awesome park to hit in to a park where home runs go to die.
Thanks, Cubs. I hope you don't win a world series for another 100 years.
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The injury level on my team has gone up from an orange or "fuck*ng ridiculous" level to the highest level... the red or "Mets-like" level of injury density.
BJ Upton's on the DL officially, Kotchman is still seeing birds from a concussion a week ago, Mourneau is coughing up blood in a hospital with the really encouraging sounding "bruised lung"... Ordonez is day-to-day with a hit-pitch on the hand and... Lackey's next start has been pushed later.
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Well, considering how fucked up your team is, there's no better time than now to start making plans for our football league. Who wants to be the commish? Yahoo is letting people sign up now, but I'd only fuck it up through some sort of money laundering scandal. Maybe we can plan this one a little more and have a real draft?
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Well, considering how fucked up your team is, there's no better time than now to start making plans for our football league. Who wants to be the commish? Yahoo is letting people sign up now, but I'd only fuck it up through some sort of money laundering scandal. Maybe we can plan this one a little more and have a real draft?
I would really enjoy being the commish (as I mentioned earlier). I would really like to have a live draft, if we can get it together and set it up for a time when I am home from work. I'd like to have it as late as possible (probably one of the last weeks of preseason) so no one drafts anyone who ends up stabbing a couple of folks in a parking lot, and also so everyone knows a bit more about the various teams' draft choices. I've played Yahoo fantasy football for the past few years in several leagues, so I've got a certain amount of experience with it. I'd appreciate a vote of confidence on this, and if it's cool, I will begin setting things up (leaving the draft date until later).
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Sounds good to me. I abstained from commenting publicly earlier, in light of this being the pretend baseball thread, but since others have since broken the seal...
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Sounds good to me. I abstained from commenting publicly earlier, in light of this being the pretend baseball thread, but since others have since broken the seal...
I kinda didn't want to make a pretend football thread - especially since it will probably basically be the same folks.
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I dub this, then, the Pretend Sports thread.
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I dub this, then, the Pretend Sports thread.
And so it is...
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I think the appropriate phrase is, "So mote it be"
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I will play.
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I think the appropriate phrase is, "So mote it be"
Don't you worry about my mote until you take care of your beam.
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Don't you need to wear goggles to take care of eye beams?
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Yeah, Nabu. If you want to be the commish, I say go for it. I've no objections, except that you might not be able to read the Yahoo Sports TOS with those tiny eskimo eyes.
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Man, I just thought of something. September is gonna be hell for those of us whose baseball teams are still in the hunt. We'll be like this guy:
(http://www.tristarproductions.com/Sales/Images/Football/Jackson-Raiders-16x20.jpg)
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There used to be a website out there that featured hypothetical jerseys, etc. for everything from baseball to Aussie Rules Football - a place for people who thought they could do better than what was out there to show off. Wish I could find it.
http://www.chriscreamer.com/ (http://www.chriscreamer.com/)? Lots of design types who understand a little about Illustrator and/or Photoshop and deploy it in some of the ugliest ways imaginable. The sig files are disgusting, considering these are people who want to be taken seriously as designers.
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I'm in on a football league since I am having a hard time scaring up enough interest at work this year.
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I'm in on a football league since I am having a hard time scaring up enough interest at work this year.
For the league or for work in general?
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Near the end of first half of the fantasy season... I have 6 of the 32 players on the Can't Cut List when in an 8 team league the average should be 4... and I think that's a good thing. I'm riddled with injuries that brought me down for a few weeks there but hopefully, with Kotchman returning and Upton getting closer to returning, it is improving...
Of the two Big Crazy Moves I made so far...
Ichiro for Utley I believe has paid off because even though Ichiro's having an MVP year and Utley has a lower average and significantly less steals... Utley is better for runs, RBIs and home runs and... I've bolstered my team's hitting for average with some really solid free agent moves.
I think that was good for both of us.
Webb for Abreu was less successful as I pretty quickly had to dump Abreu to get more multi-position players on my team but... as all five of my starting pitchers have as-many-or-more wins than Webb and better ERAs, it was at least a wash and probably slightly better than a wash because he was Can't Cut and my roster became freer without him.
And Abreu ended up back with his original owner so... a slight upside for me and a huge upside for him.
I still have a flurry of moves I want to make if and when Upton is back and healthy to complete my transition to "Letters From Earth" but... I can't make them until then.
So far, so good.
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For the league or for work in general?
Having a hard time scaring up interest in anything other than the chicken biryani that one of the guys brought in today. (It was awesome, I will admit.)
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Having a hard time scaring up interest in anything other than the chicken biryani that one of the guys brought in today. (It was awesome, I will admit.)
Man, that is one thing that I will never miss about Alaska. There is no Indian food anywhere in my town. Sure, you can try to make some yourself, but I've never gotten to make Naan and have it turn out decent. I make a damn good chicken korma and dal makhani and kheer...but the curries each take about 3 to 4 hours to prepare, so I hardly ever do it. My favorite Indian restaurant is in Boulder (since I have obviously never been to India...or even to places that have huge indian populations, such as London).
Mmmm...biryani...
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Man, that is one thing that I will never miss about Alaska. There is no Indian food anywhere in my town. Sure, you can try to make some yourself, but I've never gotten to make Naan and have it turn out decent. I make a damn good chicken korma and dal makhani and kheer...but the curries each take about 3 to 4 hours to prepare, so I hardly ever do it. My favorite Indian restaurant is in Boulder (since I have obviously never been to India...or even to places that have huge indian populations, such as London).
Mmmm...biryani...
Hey, watch it there. We like to keep one token thread on-topic, and this one is it.
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Man, that is one thing that I will never miss about Alaska. There is no Indian food anywhere in my town. Sure, you can try to make some yourself, but I've never gotten to make Naan and have it turn out decent. I make a damn good chicken korma and dal makhani and kheer...but the curries each take about 3 to 4 hours to prepare, so I hardly ever do it. My favorite Indian restaurant is in Boulder (since I have obviously never been to India...or even to places that have huge indian populations, such as London).
Mmmm...biryani...
I'm surprised there is no Indian in Denver. Very surprised.
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Hey, watch it there. We like to keep one token thread on-topic, and this one is it.
OK, and let me also extend my vote of confidence for Nabu as commish. I've been in leagues at a few different sites, and Yahoo! is far and away my favorite, so let me also extend my vote of confidence for Yahoo! to host the league.
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I'm surprised there is no Indian in Denver. Very surprised.
That came across wrong...there is plenty of Indian food in Denver, but my favorite is in Boulder. Then again... I haven't had much of a chance to scout out new Indian restaurants in a long time (3 years)...so I'm sure that there is one in Denver that eclipses Taj Mahal's stunningly perfect vegetable korma.
So, this pretend sports thing? Is there a primer or something that explains it? Because I periodically read this thread and am totally mystified as to how it works. Are fantasy sports like a role-playing game? You roll a 20 and you get the baddest hitter around for your team? How does the pretend team score points? This is crazy. I will Google this, because I suspect that my preconceived notions of Imaginary Sports is totally wrong.
Hey...is there an imaginary hockey thread yet? because I will totally get in on that, once I figure out how it works. I know that we have some folks who would disagree with my team, but I'm a huge Colorado Avalanche fan.
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Ok thanks for clearing that up. I mean, they have indian in Provo for goodness sake.
Yes, fantasy sports leauges are just like dungeons and dragons.
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Hey...is there an imaginary hockey thread yet? because I will totally get in on that, once I figure out how it works. I know that we have some folks who would disagree with my team, but I'm a huge Colorado Avalanche fan.
Well, you will have to wait for a long time for that.
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Yes, fantasy sports leauges are just like dungeons and dragons.
Glavin...
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Hey...is there an imaginary hockey thread yet? because I will totally get in on that, once I figure out how it works. I know that we have some folks who would disagree with my team, but I'm a huge Colorado Avalanche fan.
Well, if you can't afford tickets to watch your beloved Avalanche, spring for some Mammoth (indoor lacrosse) tickets and come December you and I can trade barbs over the relative merits of your team (http://www.coloradomammoth.com) vs. the San Jose Stealth (http://www.sjstealth.com/index2.html). Remember, Canada (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Major_sports_in_Canada) has two (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ice_hockey) national (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lacrosse) sports (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women%27s_lacrosse). We get lots of crossover Sharks fans, and everyone seems happy to educate the hockey folks on the similarities and differences between the games.
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Pending trade between Alex Rios and Reggie Willits! I've had both of those guys on my team at one point in the year. Had to let Reggie go, though. Once Garrett Anderson got healthy, the kid lost the bulk of his playing time. Alex Rios just wasn't getting enough steals for an outfielder. Both fine players, though.
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Well, I got offered the trade and I took it.
Willits has been amazing but...
a.) my roster is too Angel heavy which screws with my flexibility and...
b.) I have the feeling that as the Angels are so over-stocked with outfield talent and infield talent and... basically everything but catcher and shortstop depth... if Willits cools off at all, he'll quickly start loosing at-bats left and right.
So it works for me for those reasons and 'Dread gets a lot of speed on the bases.
I think everybody wins, those are the best trades of course, especially in a friendly league.
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You're not an Angels fan.... are you? We might have a beef.
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Yeah, I had been trying to get a guy who could steal for a while. I gave up homeruns, but I have Fielder and Ortiz for that.
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Asherdan: We might have a beef if only for the fact that I'm a Mariners fan. Division rivals and all. Also because I can't stand Angels fans, but those are the Rally Monkey-era fans. You go way back, which is cool.
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I'd be in for a football league.
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I probably haven't had more than two steals all year and I already have three this week, now that I traded for it. David Ortiz had one of those, so...
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Here's the football info:
League name: TOUAMB 07
Password: roastbeef
URL (for bookmarking): http://football.fantasysports.yahoo.com/league/TOUAMB_07
Live draft date (you can still autopick, but I wanted there to be the option): August 20th, 2007 - noon
This should be all the necessary info. There's room for 10 teams.
Edit: It turns out I can increase the size of the league if need be, but I don't think it's a good idea to go beyond 12 teams, or the draft pool will be diluted too much. We all love the Lions for sticking in there, but no one wants to actually run that team.
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Do you have the league ID? That link takes me to a Yahoo! error page, and you can only join a league by League ID#.
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My error - it's 122390.
Edit:
Nabu - The Venomous Monkeys
Carlosdelvaca - Banana Town Bombers
Jaydub - Boar Tits
A-CAP - Motherfucking Walrus
?? - TheHappyChemicals
Golfhaus - Ass Men
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Craig Biggio got his 3,000th. hit last night. He went 5 for 5. Scored the winning run in the 11th. inning. Hell of a performance.
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Boar Tits would be me. Sometimes the demons get to speak their minds.
I'll change it if something clever occurs to me.
...as useless as tits on a boar
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Craig Biggio got his 3,000th. hit last night. He went 5 for 5. Scored the winning run in the 11th. inning. Hell of a performance.
He got thrown out on his 3,000th by trying to stretch it into a double.
Frank Thomas hit his 500th Home Run yesterday. He was later ejected for arguing strikes.
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Im in football as the Motherfuck*ng Walrus. Let the goodtimes roll.
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He got thrown out on his 3,000th by trying to stretch it into a double.
Frank Thomas hit his 500th Home Run yesterday. He was later ejected for arguing strikes.
Did that one guy get that one milestone? I . . . I haven't been paying close attention.
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I'm in on the football league. Fantasy baseball takes too much time for me to manage properly, but football is something I can make time for.
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Who's running TheHappyChemicals?
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I'm in as MONSTERDEATH. I needed a break from undead presidents.
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A-CAP - Freddy Sanchez and any one of my relief pitchers for Russell Martin.
You want Valverde, 2.70 with 26 saves? You got him.
You want Gagne, 1.23 2 wins and 8 saves in only 22 innings? You got him.
You want Jenks, 2.93 2 wins and 20 saves? You got him.
Al Reyes, 3.06 and 17 saves? You got him.
Any one of those four dudes PLUS Freddy Sanchez, batting over .300 and climbing, able to serve as your back-up shortstop AND play second or third. Last year's National League batting champion.
I am offering you last year's NL batting champ in Sanchez and this year's NL saves leader in Valverde when your team weaknesses are not having enough closers and not having a back-up shortstop.
Or Gagne, if you think he has more upside than Valverde! Whichever.
A dude is offering you the farm for your second-best catcher.
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I just had a reliever go on the DL. I would take an offer for a reliever if you're interested in Michael Barrett. Though, to be honest, his numbers are bound to fall since he just got traded from the Cubs to the Padres. I'm pretty sure PetCo is abouit 9 times as big as Wrigley.
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Also...
On Touamb Pretend Football, my team name is "Wide Right".
This is because I grew up in Bills Country and because I will be terrible at pretend football.
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The Lab Rats return! Hooray!
I feel sorry for whoever I draft in the first two rounds, as they never perform. It's a curse worse than Madden. I usually end up changing my lineup drastically after 3 weeks, at which point everyone who was underperforming will remember how to play and the hot new talent I've replaced them with will forget. Just letting everyone know how it goes...
Mostly I'm just happy to not be in a damned 20 team league. Those are horriffic.
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Nabu - The Venomous Monkeys
Carlosdelvaca - Banana Town Bombers
Jaydub - Boar Tits
A-CAP - Motherfuck*ng Walrus
Golfhaus - Ass Men
Melack - MONSTERDEATH
Lister - Lab Rats
LFM - Wide Right
Tommy_Damn_Tiger
?? - TheHappyChemicals (Anybody? Bueller? Maybe KH?)
I'm going to leave it at 10 teams unless we get two more applicants who are really, really interested. I do not need to dilute the pool such that I have even less chance of securing Mr. Tomlinson. I gotta say, I was hoping Asherdan would be in here, but I know he's busy with the celebration and all.
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I'll be mismanaging Tommy_Damn_Tiger. I can prolly work out that Monday draft from work. I'll fire up my backup box I won't let IT take away from me.
When we left the locker room for gametime at UofP there was a large mascot painted on the wall. My habit was to thump it on the forehead and let out with that there phrase.
I totally did not notice that I hadn't identified that team. This is excellent news. I would have made it Sunday, but I thought for those folks who really get involved, this way they would get some extra info based on that last pre-season game (like when Fred Taylor gets his traditional season-hammering injury).
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Okay, now the conflict of interest line has become even blurrier for the ol' Zombie Reagans. Felix Hernandez was already my favorite pitcher on my favorite team before I added him to my fantasy squad. Now I'm myspace friends with him. I've been assured it's his real profile, too. Is that a TOUAMB fantasy baseball league first?
Well, either way, now I'm gonna feel twice as bad if I have to cut him, because he's kind of sucking lately.
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When we left the locker room for gametime at UofP there was a large mascot painted on the wall. My habit was to thump it on the forehead and let out with that there phrase.
Damn Ash - you played for UOP? Did you play lacrosse in the off season? We might have met on the field...
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I am THC. I thought it might be a given.
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So the final lineup is:
Nabu - The Venomous Monkeys
Carlosdelvaca - Banana Town Bombers
Jaydub - Boar Tits
A-CAP - Motherfuck*ng Walrus
Golfhaus - Ass Men
Melack - MONSTERDEATH
Lister - Lab Rats
LFM - Wide Right
Asherdan - Tommy_Damn_Tiger
KeithHernandez - TheHappyChemicals
Good luck, all.
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I have now proposed two blockbuster deals.
...if they are both taken, I basically lose half my squad so...
Uhm. One of you guys take it, huh?
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Wait, what about me! I'm actually interested in Fantasy Football. I go outta town for the weekend, and bang, left out.
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Wait, what about me! I'm actually interested in Fantasy Football. I go outta town for the weekend, and bang, left out.
We could possibly stretch the field to twelve, but we'd have to get another fully committed player, and it would sort of dilute the draft pool. If everyone else is down, and we can get another entrant so it's still even, I guess I'm cool with it.
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If the august... uhm... August one wants in, I'm for it.
Really my only complaint with an 8-man fantasy baseball league is that... there's pretty much always a few really good players on the free agent list and it's just a matter of keeping eyes, you know? Everyone has a few really good players at least.
An 12 team football league would probably play closer to "actual" general managering, you know?
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There are always
good servicable players on the waiver wire. Take this from a man who's played in 20-team leagues. Hell, take it from a man who missed the draft one year (Live league, in those pre-interweb-football days) and came in fifth.
8 is like a candyland dream. 16 is enough to make you work. 12 is still pretty danged good.
Anyway, rules question: would it be a horrible thing to change the TE spot to a TE/WR spot, or do you agree that it is OK? I've always thought the TE was kind of a "Gates and Gonzales go early then everyone else is screwed" type of roster spot.
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Oh, man. It's quickly dawning on me that I know very little about the NFL compared to the MLB. I could get my ass handed to me in this league.
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We could possibly stretch the field to twelve, but we'd have to get another fully committed player, and it would sort of dilute the draft pool. If everyone else is down, and we can get another entrant so it's still even, I guess I'm cool with it.
Fine by me. If the NFL gets by with 32 teams I'd think we can manage 12.Oh, man. It's quickly dawning on me that I know very little about the NFL compared to the MLB. I could get my ass handed to me in this league.
At least you understand how a fantasy system works. I've followed the NFL closely for about 18 years, but I fully expect to be completely non-competetive as a fantasy manager.
Anyway, rules question: would it be a horrible thing to change the TE spot to a TE/WR spot, or do you agree that it is OK? I've always thought the TE was kind of a "Gates and Gonzales go early then everyone else is screwed" type of roster spot.
See, here's an example. I personally am very fond of the TE position. I like offenses that are built with them, and I like the element that they bring to the game. On the other hand, I can see how a stats based system would undervalue them (since they bring an intangible dimension relating to how linebackers have to react when a TE receiver is moving through their zones - not to mention run blocking) and a system based on catches, yards, TDs etc won't capture that. So I officially have no opinion at the moment, but I'll grab Vernon Davis over another WR if I get the chance.
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Is Jeremy Shockey still alive or did he die in a moonshine-induced hillbilly shootout?
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The thing is the truly great TEs always get picked up early, so you have to decide one way or another. Someone grabs Gates in the 4th, as opposed to the people who have both starting RBs, a passable QB and a top-tier WR.
That having been said, I don't have a huge problem with it, especially as my dad picked up what's-his-name last year who was the first player Yahoo listed as TE/WR, and who subsequently killed us.
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Craig Biggio doubled tonight to surpass Frank Thomas and move to no.5 on the all time list for doubles. Guys having a heck of a week.
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I do want to keep the league at an even number of teams, else we can't play head-to-head. Anyone want to join August in the great experiment?
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So I became friends with Felix Hernandez over myspace, then posted a comment on his page saying it would be awesome if he could throw more curveballs. He's been terrible lately thanks largely to the fact that he's been throwing a ridiculous amount of fastballs. Well, lo and behold, last night he threw a ton more breaking balls and wound up pitching 8 innings with only two earned runs.
Now, I don't want to say that I helped my fantasy team by directly influencing a real life player, but the evidence is there.
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I'd definitely be willing to even things up to get August into the league. Though I have less time than I did in the past for web-boarding, I always make time for fantasy football and can guarantee I'd be on the league's site more often than I hang around here these days.
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Hurray!
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Okey doke. There are two more spots, and I've changed the playoffs to a six-team bracket, instead of four.
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Awesome. I've joined as "The Barksdale Crew".
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As in Avon Barksdale? If that's the case, I might have to change my team name to "The Polack Stevedores."
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Nice. I love me some Wire.
Edit: Hilarious iPhone Dugout: http://dugout.progressiveboink.com/archive/jon127.html
It might only be funny if you have read the Dugout previously.
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So the final lineup (in alphabetical order, because I'm the commisioner who goes the extra mile) is:
Asherdan - Tommy_Damn_Tiger
AugustWest - The Arnold Ziffels
Carlosdelvaca - Banana Town Bombers
Gimpson - The Barksdale Crew
Golfhaus - Ass Men
Jaydub - Boar Tits
KeithHernandez - TheHappyChemicals
Lister - Lab Rats
LittleFallsMets - Wide Right
Melack - MONSTERDEATH
Nabubrush - The Venomous Monkeys
A-CAP - Motherfucking Walrus
And now, A Sojourn Into Destiny.
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And now, A Sojourn Into Destiny.
It goes without saying that this was spoken in a John Facenda voice, doesn't it?
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So the final lineup (in alphabetical order, because I'm the commisioner who goes the extra mile) is:
I would have alphabetized based on team name.
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I would have alphabetized based on team name.
I'm just as God made me, sir.
It goes without saying that this was spoken in a John Facenda voice, doesn't it?
It doesn't go without saying in this case, because you said it. But in my mind it was - here. (http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03022004)
Addition: Why the fuck did I pay for Stattracker when it says Sizemore hasn't batted yet and the main page says he's 1/2? It says CLE/DET is in the bottom of the 1st, and the other says top 7th. Yahoo is a fuck.
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Okay, so I'm interested in seeing how the Twins' absolute massacre over the White Sox affected you guys tonight, since I don't have a single Twin or White Sox on my roster. I mean, the Twins put up 32(!!!) runs in today's double header. That's gotta balloon someone's ERA while absolutely sky-rocketing someone's offensive stats.
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My opponent has Torii Hunter.
Thankfully, I have Justin Mourneau so it basically balanced out.
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PKD-nice!
Neither me nor my opponent have any CWS or Twins.
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My opponent has Torii Hunter.
Thankfully, I have Justin Mourneau so it basically balanced out.
If by balanced you mean I'm getting my ass skinned raw, then you are basically correct.
Minnn: 32, Sox: 14 . . . and Joe Nathan shows up for a line of 1 IP, no K. Fuck, there isn't enough work to go around?
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Hey, your team hit like 18,000 homeruns yesterday.
That's gotta count for something.
You also have four more pitching starts this week while I only have two.
That basically guarantees the win and strikeout categories for you.
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Hey, your team hit like 18,000 homeruns yesterday.
That's gotta count for something.
You also have four more pitching starts this week while I only have two.
That basically guarantees the win and strikeout categories for you.
Yes, and now you are up 7-2. I have HRs and the mystery category (by 0.13).
Sweet fancy ketchup my team is in trouble. I'm the fantasy version of Grady Little.
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Is the mystery category WHIP? That is Walks/Hits per Inning Pitched, if it helps at all.
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I'm the fantasy version of Grady Little.
I'm the fantasy version of Grady Wilson.
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Is the mystery category WHIP? That is Walks/Hits per Inning Pitched, if it helps at all.
You crack me up. Yes, that helps, in that it explains it completely. I should have been able to figure that out.
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Well, I meant it in a I know what it means but it doesn't help me get a lower WHIP in the fantasy league way, you know.
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Well played, Monkeys.
I think we're looking at 6-4 this week.
Your starting pitching and homerun hitting ninja are strong.
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I got corned again.
I'm pretty sure there is something fundamental going on here that I am not understanding.
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From looking at your team quickly, Nabu?
1.) You're running with only one catcher and only one second baseman right now.
You're dicked out of the "accumulated" stats whenever one of those guys takes a rest day or their team doesn't play.
If you'd've been able to put anybody in those places on the days Buck and Wigginton were sitting, you could've at least had a few more RBI and runs, even if it caused your average to suffer a bit.
2.) You only have two save generating relief pitchers. Okajima's great but he's mostly a set-up man, not a closer... running out there with only two closers will probably average out to you losing the save category.
3.) You're all power, no average. Every hitter on your team is double-digit in home runs... and that's great? But you've only got two guys hitting over .300... and that doesn't just effect your average stat... there's also the simple fact that if you're not getting on base, it's hard to drive in runs and to be driven in as runs.
My advice would be... first of all, you've got four first basemen. Dropping one or two of them probably wouldn't really hurt you all that much, especially if you drop Hafner who can only play 1B or Wilkerson who can only play 1B or OF and... you're pretty good for outfielders.
Remember, you only got one 1B slot, three OF slots and one utility slot to put an extra guy out of one of those two categories.
You've got two SS eligibles, you've got two 3B eligibles, even if you drop Wilkerson, you've got five outfield eligibles... you're strong enough at those positions.
Is Kinsler coming back any time soon? This has to factor in.
I'd say... drop Hafner and Wilkerson, find some batting average at C and 2B and then...
Pick a starting pitcher to drop, whichever is least effective in your eyes and... pick up a closer.
You'd have a better rounded squad, I reckon.
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Thanks!
Unfortunately Hafner's a can't cut.
Good news! I have a player named Yorvit! That makes the whole year worthwhile, right there.
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Jenks came up in the Angel's system and was basically moved on because of his recalcitrance to conditioning. In about the same timeframe they threw huge wads of ca$h at Colons fat head.
I gues they didn't want to corner the market on oversized pitchers. But I guess proven large dude over unproven large dude makes some sort of sense.
That sounds like the sanitized version. White Sox fans have always heard that he had drinking problems that got him into trouble. Anyway, the Angels always seem to have a great bullpen and I don't think he ever would've been a good starter (yes, conditioning has something to do with that).
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Well, I am in no place to give advice, and I haven't even looked at your team, but drop Okajima. He is damn good, but will hardly benefit you in Fantasy Baseball. This is to get the new Reliever.
I have really big fundamental flaws, so you know, take that as you will.
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So I became friends with Felix Hernandez over myspace, then posted a comment on his page saying it would be awesome if he could throw more curveballs. He's been terrible lately thanks largely to the fact that he's been throwing a ridiculous amount of fastballs. Well, lo and behold, last night he threw a ton more breaking balls and wound up pitching 8 innings with only two earned runs.
Now, I don't want to say that I helped my fantasy team by directly influencing a real life player, but the evidence is there.
Actually, you would be surprised how close you got. Someone wrote a blog/ open letter which basically said that, the pitching coach showed it to him and it worked.
http://deadspin.com/sports/listen-to-the-internet-and-its-sweet-secrets/felix-hernandez-informed-by-internet-that-he-has-other-pitches-besides-fastball-276042.php
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I now have an all Japanese stable of catchers. Two of them! Well, one and a half. Kenji Johjima is from Japan but Kurt Suzuki is actually from Hawaii. Still, that's one and a half more Japanese catchers than any of you clowns!
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I now have an all Japanese stable of catchers. Two of them! Well, one and a half. Kenji Johjima is from Japan but Kurt Suzuki is actually from Hawaii. Still, that's one and a half more Japanese catchers than any of you clowns!
Yes, but do you have a player named Yorvit?
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My back-up shortstop is from Albany and comes out to GNR music.
I automatically win.
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Yes, but do you have a player named Yorvit?
He used to play on the Mariners. His name loses a lot of novelty after you hear that his parents just couldn't decide between Yorman or Victor, so they combined them.
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He used to play on the Mariners. His name loses a lot of novelty after you hear that his parents just couldn't decide between Yorman or Victor, so they combined them.
It loses novelty because they couldn't rule out Yorman? How unusual does something have to be for someone as jaded as you to raise an eyebrow?
"Huh, the mailman's being chased by flying monkeys armed with spearguns - oh good, he brought his light sabre. Sweetie, is that coffee ready yet?"
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Yorman is a fairly popular name in Latin America! Or at least I thought. Upon further research, there's only been one other baseball player with the name Yorman. I stand corrected.
Actually, this reminds me of something. When he played in Seattle, his nickname on the M's blogosphere was JoeJessica. Joe Torre. Jessica Alba. Hee hee hee.
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Wait - baseball players know how to use computers? For functions other than surfing porn and getting email from their agents?
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Wait - baseball players know how to use computers? For functions other than surfing porn and getting email from their agents?
We aren't talking about football players here, after all.
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No wonder Ash is cracking his knuckles over in the Jon Lovitz thread.
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Ladies and gentlemen...
The fifteenth really-fair offer I've made to A-CAP for Russell Martin has gone through to him and will probably be ignored.
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:o :-*BEGIN HOTT ZOMBIE REAGAN UPDATE! :-* :o
Today my best pitcher gave up six earned runs and my second best hitter dislocated his shoulder.
:o :-*END HOTT ZOMBIE REAGAN UPDATE! :-* :o
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Whereas I seem to have earned a split with the Phlogistons.
Well played, Fighters, well played.
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I got cleanly swept. I'm going to start letting my cat pick out my lineup.
"Shit, we thought you already were."
I have saved you all time and money with that retort. Spend it wisely.
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Does anyone have a high SB guy they are willing to trade for someone on my team?
Send any trades over.
(I am Radiodread)
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You whipped my ass 10-0. Do you need some renegade ***** cop (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXbFuNQwTbs) to play for you?
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Offer sent, Keith.
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Aaron Harang pitched 10 innings and gave up one run and didn't get a fuck*ng win.
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Two trades pending between the same two teams? I have an idea. Why don't you two just exchange fuck*ng passwords. Have dignity.
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Ah, c'mon now... they're both fair deals.
He needed a second guy who could qualify for 2B and I wanted more power out of my back-up shortstop.
And then he needed a basestealer and I wanted to upgrade my back-up catcher and it worked out. I'd been trying for months to upgrade my back-up catcher through A-CAP but the dude won't bite. Whacha want me to do?
This is the time of the year for shuffling the benches, yo.
And after those deals, at least in terms of my hitters... the only position I'd want to upgrade on would be my fifth OF.
My bench'll be Polanco, Pudge, Glaus and... somebody.
I've been shuffling my bench over and over and over again as my "moves" number shows you but after a coupla very even parts-for-parts trades, I'll have 11 out of 12 of my hitters as guys I'd go to war with.
The whole league should be as open to swaps, really.
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Okay, fine. Mix and match all you want, I'm coming for you, Damned Human Race! (I refuse to acknowledge your name changes).
Also, let's have a running tally:
Tommy John Surgery Count
Zombie Reagans: 1
Everyone else: 0?
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Two trades pending between the same two teams? I have an idea. Why don't you two just exchange fuck*ng passwords. Have dignity.
Gold.
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Moving on the football, I read a pretty funny article on Kissing Suzy Kolber about fantasy team names. (http://kissmesuzy.blogspot.com/2007/07/big-daddy-drews-guide-to-naming-your.html) I am seriously considering 'Man Vs. Zakk Wylde'.
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Yeah, thank god someone reads KSK and Deadspin (I am assuming) besides me. I am always linking to their stories. Anyhow, Deadspin had an article today and I am considering "Body by Mangini".
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I am getting my ass handed to me this week so far, largely because two of my starting pitchers blew up and went down with injuries yesterday. Jeez.
I've been spending all this time getting my hitting ducks in a row, time to work on pitching, I suppose.
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Ladies and gentlemen...
The fifteenth really-fair offer I've made to A-CAP for Russell Martin has gone through to him and will probably be ignored.
I made an offer for Martin back in May after Mauer got hurt. He responded to me back then, but with a counterproposal I wasn't ready to accept.
Nobody ought to be throwing in the towel just yet. Only the bottom two teams in the league miss out on the playoffs, so even if your team is mired in the cellar you can still fight for sixth place and hope for a lucky championship run in September.
Also, well played indeed, sir. That's three straight Phlogistons vs. Random-Mark-Twain-Reference matchups that have ended in a 5-5-0 tie. I was more proud of that than my perfect 10-0-0 week back when LFM had double-digit leads in the standings. Whatever will happen if we meet in the playoffs and draw again? Paper-scissors-rock?
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Chase Utley broke his hand.
Crap on a crap cracker.
Hello again, Jeff Kent. It has been a while.
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You couldn't keep away from that mustache for long.
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Upon reflection at the end of July, I've made two bad moves with this team.
1.) Givin' up on Brandon Webb... who eventually shaped up into himself again.
2.) Givin' up on Chone Figgins... who heated the hell up once he was truly healthy.
My team's only holes left are the fifth starter and the fifth outfielder and... they would'a qualified for those slots.
In all the other slots, I got the best players I could get my hands on.
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Last week: 0-10.
This week: 8-0.
I promise, I am slightly better at the football.
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I'm looking forward to football season. It should be interesting, if nothing else. I'm not a huge football guy. I know about as much about football as a die-hard basketball and baseball fan should expect to know. That is to say, all I really know I've learned through osmosis by accidentally catching a glance at a football headline while trying to read up on the other sports.
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Trade deadline tomorrow! The real one, not the fantasy one. Should be exciting, if nothing else.
Who has Mark Teixera? I pity you. Your guy just went from hitting in a total bandbox to hitting in a slight pitcher's stadium. Hopefully moving to the relative suckiness of the NL (no offense, LFM) will offset that just a little, but probably not by much.
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Who has Mark Teixera?
That would be me. Gee, a drop-off in Teixera's stats? That would be hard, considering he's been on the DL all but about 2 weeks this year. Also, he's on the no-drop list. YAY!
On edit:
WOOT! 5K posts. Nabu has got it exactly correct. I ain't amounting to nothin'.
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That would be me. Gee, a drop-off in Teixera's stats? That would be hard, considering he's been on the DL all but about 2 weeks this year. Also, he's on the no-drop list. YAY!
AW with 5k posts! Whooooo-HOOOOO! You're wasting your life, boy - you'll never amount to anything messing around with them there internets.
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That would be me. Gee, a drop-off in Teixera's stats? That would be hard, considering he's been on the DL all but about 2 weeks this year. Also, he's on the no-drop list. YAY!
On edit:
WOOT! 5K posts. Nabu has got it exactly correct. I ain't amounting to nothin'.
Jesus Christ, dude. 5,000. Damn.
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That's right, AW is the Cal Ripken/Tony Gwynn of TOUAMB.
Absolutely right. He's our Gordie Howe.
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I like to think that makes Keith Hernandez our Keith Hernandez.
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I'm the guy that can really move the ball down the field, but can't seem to put it in the end zone.
August West is Joe Montana, Roger Stauback, Terry Bradshaw and Johnny Unitis all rolled up in one.
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One might say with his numbers, he's Marino + Manning + Fouts + Favre.
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One might say with his numbers, he's Marino + Manning + Fouts + Favre.
if he were just throwing up numbers he wouldn't be so highly regarded. I'm talking about getting the job done. I mean, I'm not so far behind him in the stat column, but I ain't never won the big one.*
*Post like this are likely the reason
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if he were just throwing up numbers he wouldn't be so highly regarded. I'm talking about getting the job done. I mean, I'm not so far behind him in the stat column, but I ain't never won the big one.*
*Post like this are likely the reason
I . . . I hope you aren't telling my that my man Dan Fouts is not highly regarded.
Also, I was going to get into it, but fuck it, it's the sports thread. Namath? He's the Trent Dilfer of his era. The only reason anyone still gives him credit (apart from my brother, and other rabid Jets fans) is that he had the brass balls to guarantee victory. I'll give it up to Johnny U and Montana, but Bradshaw reaped a lot of benefit from the team he was on. I'd say several other QBs from that era could have guided that team to those Super Bowls.
I think Marino is an apt comparison because AW's getting it done by himself. He's out there, rain or shine, no matter what. However, he ain't going out the victim of a 62-7 drubbing. (I make mention of that often because my other brother is a big 'phins fan.)
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Oh holy crap. I post a lot on a message board. I appreciate the sentiment, but really.
Also, I'm a big Marino fan. He is the shizz.
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I think Marino is an apt comparison because AW's getting it done by himself. He's out there, rain or shine, no matter what. However, he ain't going out the victim of a 62-7 drubbing. (I make mention of that often because my other brother is a big 'phins fan.)
Only problem being that AW is not REAL high on Coke.
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Only problem being that AW is not REAL high on Coke.
You're taking a lot on faith there, Keith.
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I just want to say that I really like the idea of a TOUAMB HoF. One inductee a year, perhaps on the anniversary of the board's founding. That would be hot.
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I just want to say that I really like the idea of a TOUAMB HoF. One inductee a year, perhaps on the anniversary of the board's founding. That would be hot.
Do they gotta be retired? I vote Andalucia, Mite, & Zart.
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Andalucia, yes. Also Bozak. I love that furry little critter.
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Oh, Jeff Kent, you're injured too?
Doesn't the mustache protect you from such things?
Or were you "washing" your "car"?
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As I have said before, I am going to San Francisco this summer. I am leaving this Saturday, and probably not returning until around the 13th-15th. I am not going to have internet access (i am not bring my laptop, and I am not going to spend my vacation trying to find a comp to change my team.)
I only use my yahoo account for fantasy sports, so I was wondering if anyone would be willing to spend their time /make themselves trustworthy enough to let me give them my password so they could rotate my players. This would basically involve putting in either Griffey and Matsui or Willits and Taveras depending on the Stolen base/ HR totals and rotating in a starting pitcher once or twice. I could just start Taveras and Matsui, and all the person would have to do is rotate the pitcher probably 1-2 times until I come back. I can just change my password then.
Any takers?
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As I have said before, I am going to San Francisco this summer. I am leaving this Saturday, and probably not returning until around the 13th-15th. I am not going to have internet access (i am not bring my laptop, and I am not going to spend my vacation trying to find a comp to change my team.)
I only use my yahoo account for fantasy sports, so I was wondering if anyone would be willing to spend their time /make themselves trustworthy enough to let me give them my password so they could rotate my players. This would basically involve putting in either Griffey and Matsui or Willits and Taveras depending on the Stolen base/ HR totals and rotating in a starting pitcher once or twice. I could just start Taveras and Matsui, and all the person would have to do is rotate the pitcher probably 1-2 times until I come back. I can just change my password then.
Any takers?
I would do it, but with the way things work for me they would probably take your team away for doing so poorly.
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I wonder how much I'm going to regret trading John Maine and Bobby Abreu (trade number two for him!) for Russ Martin. I had to trade for a new catcher ever since Michael Barrett went batshit insane and got himself traded to San Diego ("Where hitters go to die") and Kenji Johjima decided he no longer wanted to hit. Well, in that five-day window when the trade is being approved, Kenji decided he wanted to hit a couple home runs. Awesome. Now my original catcher is hitting again, and in the process I gave up one of my most reliable starting pitchers.
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Aw man.
A good week again. Finally!
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Yeah, you dominated, but two of my players got hurt and I was in San Francisco from Monday through Sunday at 6am mountain time. I am still not at my home.
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Hey man, I was in San Francisco last week and I won my matchup! But then again, I live there, so.... not an apt comparison.
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I realize that no one will give a rat's ass about my fantasy baseball team in another league, but I'm going to post this anyway: I just landed Johan Santana in a trade! WHOOOOO! I believe this will help me lock down a championship.
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Hey, that football type draft thing appears to be soon. I almost forgot that.
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I suggest Vince Evans or Vinny Testaverde.
Those jokes never get old, do they? Seriously, folks - Monday afternoon. Check to make sure your computer will handle the draft. They apparantly need some dinguses and doohickeys to work correctly. You might want to downgrade Mike Vick - there's a possibility he won't take all the snaps this year.
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I've already notified the fiancee that the laptop comes with me to work on Monday, and I've scouted a location near work that has free Wi-Fi. (Also a backup location.)
Now all I need to do is figure out what the hell is going on in the NFL this season.
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I'm going to go ahead here and say Mike Vick never takes another snap in professional football. Mikey, you can kill folks and shit, that's cool, but don't fuck with a dog in this America.
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If I do that preselection thing, will Yahoo pick for me? Because as much as I'd love to be in front of a computer on Monday, I'll be ass deep in a class I'd rather not be teaching, but kinda am getting paid to do.
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If I do that preselection thing, will Yahoo pick for me? Because as much as I'd love to be in front of a computer on Monday, I'll be ass deep in a class I'd rather not be teaching, but kinda am getting paid to do.
Wait, what? I can see showing up if you're paying for it, but if you're getting paid? C'mon, you still live in America, don't you? Jeez, don't they have wi-fi? Throw the old laptop on the desk and draft away!
They will pick automagically for you.
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Jeez, don't they have wi-fi?
You should see the building I work in. They had to retrofit an elevator in the place to conform with the ADA.
The wife and I are thinking of trading up phones and getting one of those Treo numbers with the net access and all that. So there may be hope yet.
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You should see the building I work in. They had to retrofit an elevator in the place to conform with the ADA.
The wife and I are thinking of trading up phones and getting one of those Treo numbers with the net access and all that. So there may be hope yet.
I'm glad the american dental association is taking a proactive role in elevator safety.
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I'm glad the american dental association is taking a proactive role in elevator safety.
Americans with Disabilities Act, hoss.
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I can't believe I'm getting the first pick. That never happens.
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Some day I want to see stats on the correlation between draft position and final league standing.
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Anyone in the league who isn't already on Yahoo's live draft should be, right about nowish.
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At the end of August is when registration begins on Yahoo for fantasy hockey! Sweeeeet! I never thought I'd contribute to this thread, but I'm going to give it a shot when I get my hockey team.
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So here's how the day went:
11:45 - I try to log in to the live draft. IE chokes and I'm not on the computer with Firefox. I download Firefox.
11:55 - With Firefox installed, I head for the team page and start the live draft page. It needs java. I download java.
12:00 - My break begins simultaneously with the draft.
12:02 - Java finishes installing and I get in to see that Yahoo chose Steven Jackson over Shaun Alexander. Not horrible, but not my choice.
12:06 - I make some real picks. I choose RBs.
12:13 - I get Gonzales and my first QB. I queue up some backup QBs, then some WRs because break's over at 12:15 and I have to switch offices.
12:15 - Yahoo decides that I want a lot of receivers. A ton of them. None of them are Calvin Johnson, who I would've had ranked higher than all of the ones I got.
12:25 on - I manage to pay attention long enough to get a backup QB, a D, and a K.
So if my draft picks look kind of spazzed out, it's because I had about 10 minutes total to think about them. I think I'm ok though, overall. 3 starting RBs isn't bad.
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Here's how my day went:
5:08 PM - Log into email, see Yahoo notification reminding me of the live draft that took place several hours ago
5:09 - My team suuuuuuuuuuuuuucks
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I should also note that I only recognize about a quarter of the players on my team, though most of that is due to my general NFL ignorance. I may be doing well in fantasy baseball, but my team is going to blow big time in football.
Aaaaanddd I just edited my team name to reflect the level of talent on my team.
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Hmmm... Jon Kitna as my quarterback? That's... fantastic.
This marks the second time I've had TO on my roster. I hate the man with a passion, but I can't argue with results. There's also my obligatory Redskin (hello, Clinton), and a Hall of Fame kicker. This could be interesting.
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I should also note that I only recognize about a quarter of the players on my team, though most of that is due to my general NFL ignorance. I may be doing well in fantasy baseball, but my team is going to blow big time in football.
Aaaaanddd I just edited my team name to reflect the level of talent on my team.
I knew something was fucked up when you picked Joey Galloway, and then Derrick Mason? Please! My wife had to finish up the draft as I was laughing too hard.
Seriously, you got a pretty solid team, I think. Your first two WRs are as good as anyone could expect. Wille Parker will do ok, and Chester Taylor might actually explode, given that their other option is a rookie with injury issues. You might have some work to do at QB, but that's about the easiest position to shore up post-draft. SD could be argued as the best DEF. I don't know anything about Greg Olsen, but he's your backup TE, and as such does not matter. He doesn't have a QB anyway.
Whoops - I forgot Vince Young was on Madden '08. He won't take a meaningful snap.
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Golfhaus, did it auto-draft for you?
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When I realized that I was not going to be able to make the draft, I went in and made some adjustments. Removed Vick from consideration in case the program didn't do it automatically, added a few preferences, and let it go. Interesting, I got a lot of who I was looking for. Owens, Portis, and Vinateri were on the list. Basically, my strategy was to draft one Redskin out of loyalty and finish out by drafting people I hated. I figure, if I feel that strongly about a person, they have to at least have enough talent to make me care. Of my top four most-hateds, only Peyton eluded me.
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I think that it is telling of my football knowledge when I say that I have no idea if I suck or if I do not suck.
It seems that I drafted the guy whose name I was most aware of in any given round and... I do not believe that's a winning formulae at all.
I am pretty good at fantasy baseball because I know a lot about baseball... so I'm guessing fantasy football will be the opposite-ish.
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When I realized that I was not going to be able to make the draft, I went in and made some adjustments. Removed Vick from consideration in case the program didn't do it automatically, added a few preferences, and let it go. Interesting, I got a lot of who I was looking for. Owens, Portis, and Vinateri were on the list. Basically, my strategy was to draft one Redskin out of loyalty and finish out by drafting people I hated. I figure, if I feel that strongly about a person, they have to at least have enough talent to make me care. Of my top four most-hateds, only Peyton eluded me.
I figured it must have been automatically, because I think Portis was a reach in round 1 and Gates was arguably early, and there's no way you want to draft a kicker in the fourth. Vincent Jackson was a steal in the eighth. The rest of your draft seemed pretty solid.
LFM, if Peterson explodes you could be sitting pretty, I'd say. Eli's just about done, but Brees is a top three pick at QB. I almost grabbed Wes Welker. If Moss goes into the toilet (a 50/50 proposition) he could put up some numbers.
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I'd be all for fantasy hockey, by the by.
I know even less about hockey than football so it could be interesting as hell.
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I'd be all for fantasy hockey, by the by.
I know even less about hockey than football so it could be interesting as hell.
I don't know much about Violence Ball (http://www.overcompensating.com/posts/20070817.html), but damn it's fun to watch. I mean, I named one of my little boys Milan (http://www.flickr.com/photos/linnea/sets/72157600071604491/), after Milan (http://sports.yahoo.com/nhl/players/1762) Hejduk (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milan_Hejduk). He was drafted by the Nordiques before they got shipped to Denver and became the Colorado Avalanche, and he's still with the Avs. I'm dying to get a #23 jersey. Someday I will get one. Anyway, fantasy hockey sounds rad.
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I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.
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I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.
I've said it before, sweetheart... fuck the Red Wings. I challenge you to come to Denver and see an Avs game with me.
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I think that it is telling of my football knowledge when I say that I have no idea if I suck or if I do not suck.
It seems that I drafted the guy whose name I was most aware of in any given round and... I do not believe that's a winning formulae at all.
I am pretty good at fantasy baseball because I know a lot about baseball... so I'm guessing fantasy football will be the opposite-ish.
We're in the same boat, then. I looked at the TE on my team and had no idea who he was or if he was any good. So I checked out the list of available tight ends (hurr hurr) and couldn't recognize any of them except for Jerramy Stevens. I was tempted to add him because we both went to the same college, but then I remembered that he is an absolutely awful human being. This is the same reason I dumped AJ Pierzynksi from my baseball team. I am okay with having a bad team, but for some reason I don't like having somone I loathe as a person on my team.
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What is this "Hokk - ee" of which you speak?
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If I recall, hockey -- or "ice polo" as it's called in certain corners of Canada -- is a sport played on a pool of frozen seal's blood with the bones of Eskimos used to guide frozen beef patties into a net made of testicle hair taken from itinerant workers who have failed to pay boarding fees. It is a foul game.
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I've said it before, sweetheart... fuck the Red Wings. I challenge you to come to Denver and see an Avs game with me.
I'll sit right next to you in my Steve Yzerman jersey. Yeah, pretty much the class of the league. Or I could wear the jersey of Mr. Hockey. You could wear a Claude Lemieux jersey. No, no - Peter Forsberg.
Actually, you should probably wear a Ray Borque jersey.
At least you aren't a Broncos fan.
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My team could suck a hard boiled egg through a wendy's straw (not unlike my last place baseball team). But I will shape it, mold it, win with it.
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My team could suck a hard boiled egg through a wendy's straw (not unlike my last place baseball team). But I will shape it, mold it, win with it.
So, your team is pretty popular with the fellas, then?
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And oil drilling companies.
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I notice Michael Vick is available. He might be a good value pickup for someone looking to improve their forced sodomy stats.
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"His focus is on his family, his focus is on answering to this judge," Vick's lead defense attorney, Billy Martin, told The Associated Press after announcing the plea agreement Monday.
Whatever happened to "his focus is to do his time and be contrite and hopefully rehabilitate himself with the assistance of the Government"?
Vick will return Monday to the same courthouse where he pleaded not guilty and resolved to prove his innocence just 25 days ago. This time he will plead guilty, and Hudson will schedule a date for sentencing.
"Yeah, what I had meant was . . ."
Two of them also said Vick participated in the brutal executions of at least eight underperforming dogs.
He's lucky the NFL doesn't operate that way - he'd have been culled a long time ago.
"Michael is a father, he's a son, he's a human being; people oftentimes forget that," he said.
Perhaps because his behavior hasn't been in keeping with that of any self-respecting human being. Fuck this guy.
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I agree with King Kaufman that a multi-million dollar fine payable to the ASPCA or dog rescue organizations would go a whole lot farther than slapping him in jail where he'll be an inmate celebrity.
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Shit, both. Wouldn't be surprised to see that in the sentencing. A helluva fine can be imposed.
There's little fuckups and there's fuckups worth having your life boned over for. Running an underground blood sport operation fueled by gambling falls over the brink.
No shit, fuck him. He fucked up. If and when he's rehabilitated, he can come back and join society. He probably won't be able to play in the NFL, but neither am I. Maybe he had join one of those ultimate fighting leagues.
What's his degree in? Veterinary medicine? Maybe he can get a job in that field.
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Shit, both. Wouldn't be surprised to see that in the sentencing. A helluva fine can be imposed.
There's little fuckups and there's fuckups worth having your life boned over for. Running an underground blood sport operation fueled by gambling falls over the brink.
God, I saw the headlines and tried not to read them because I knew that I would just end up infuriated, nauseated, and shaking with rage. That stupid fuck*ng asshole deserves way worse than whatever they're gonna hand him. UGH.
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The thing about Michael Vick is that he's not even a good quarterback. He's an exciting quarterback for sure, but don't confuse that with his ability to actually, you know, complete passes. From a strictly football point of view, this isn't even a big deal for the Falcons.
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It's a good thing for Chris Redmon.
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Vick is what we refer to as an underperformer.
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The public speaks out. (http://blog.peta.org/archives/2007/08/vick_to_plead_g.php)
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The public speaks out. (http://blog.peta.org/archives/2007/08/vick_to_plead_g.php)
Can we start pressuring the NFL to adopt a "no baby eating" clause to their personal conduct policy?
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And by that little tidbit of moral equivalence I am sentenced to being Vick's celly.
Wonderful, he ain't getting no reach around.
Look out for that rape stand.
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Man, complaining about the nutjob comments made by PETA-ers is like shooting giraffe in a barrel. Trying to hold them accountable for outlandish comments is about as effective as expecting rational, coherent thought out of Randall Terry. The people are crazy-ass extremists, you can't expect them to be reasonable or logical.
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Yea, unfortunatly they usually end up standing between me and eating lunch, which is incredibly ironic.
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Well, I only posted it because it passed my most critical of tests . . . it made me laugh until I cried.
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And by that little tidbit of moral equivalence I am sentenced to being Vick's celly.
Wonderful, he ain't getting no reach around.
Look out for that rape stand.
Enjoy your tiny cans of refreshment, gentlemen.
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No shit, fuck him. He fucked up. If and when he's rehabilitated, he can come back and join society. He probably won't be able to play in the NFL, but neither am I. Maybe he had join one of those ultimate fighting leagues.
Some Arena Football League team will pick him up.
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Some Arena Football League team will pick him up.
It would be delicious if he got picked up by the Alaska Wild. (http://www.goakwild.com/)
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So you might notice that in the baseball league, the top three teams now have an asterisk next to their (our) names. At first I thought this might be due to some recently surfaced evidence suggesting players we've used over the course of the season are under suspicion of doing the steroids. I know I've had Jason Giambi on my team! But alas, it's just to show that we've clinched a playoff spot. Our records are only as tainted as our most shameful players make them (Youkilis for his hideous beard and hilarious batting stance, Moises Alou for peeing on his hands and Gary Sheffield for being batshit insane, respectivey).
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Well, if he is allowed back in the NFL, can it be anything but a windfall for Al Davis?
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What is this "Hokk - ee" of which you speak?
It sorta looks like this. (http://www.detroithockey.net/multimedia/967.php)
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Hockey fights are the weirdest things. You're on the worst possible footing, your opponent is padded, if you lose your balance you might as well be taking a header onto concrete, and the strategy is to tie the other guys hands up so you can get clear shots at his head within the 5 seconds or so you're alloted by the refs. Its even more arcane than boxing.
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Hockey fights are the weirdest things. You're on the worst possible footing, your opponent is padded, if you lose your balance you might as well be taking a header onto concrete, and the strategy is to tie the other guys hands up so you can get clear shots at his head within the 5 seconds or so you're alloted by the refs. Its even more arcane than boxing.
You are actually more-or-less allowed as much time until one of you is down on the ice and can no longer defend yourself. If you're lucky and the benches clear, you can get into some serious ass-whipping, especially if the goalies get involved.
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There's also Clint Malarchuk. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pz9njKh5CLw)
Warning: Not safe if you have ever had food in your stomach.
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There's also Clint Malarchuk. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pz9njKh5CLw)
Warning: Not safe if you have ever had food in your stomach.
Yeah, I remember this one. Highly unpleasant. The arena had an ambulance parked at that end of the building, and they were able to hustle him out and get him medical attention. They said if he'd had to go the length of the ice to get to it (i.e. if he'd been in the other net), he probably would have bled out.
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Okay, so the length of this thread has me wondering something. What's the longest non-baby updates thread in the history of TOUAMB?
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There's also Clint Malarchuk. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pz9njKh5CLw)
Warning: Not safe if you have ever had food in your stomach.
Holy shit, dude. That's insane.
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Yeah, I remember this one. Highly unpleasant. The arena had an ambulance parked at that end of the building, and they were able to hustle him out and get him medical attention. They said if he'd had to go the length of the ice to get to it (i.e. if he'd been in the other net), he probably would have bled out.
Article I read said their trainer had been a medic in 'Nam and if he hadn't have been there, he'd have been dead. Probably the guy used up about all his good luck in one event.
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Okay, so the length of this thread has me wondering something. What's the longest non-baby updates thread in the history of TOUAMB?
By replies it goes Baby Updates, Pretend Sports, Today I'm Gonna.
http://touamb.com/index.php?action=stats
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I realize that many of you are moving more toward imaginary football than imaginary baseball but...
I continue to be confounded with how much my pitching looks like it should actually be really good from their overall numbers and yet seem to pretty much suck in every given week.
I didn't really take a whole lot of math classes in my life, as I much prefered the subjects where you could make everything up, but I am pretty sure that math doesn't work that way. Reasonably sure.
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I realize that many of you are moving more toward imaginary football than imaginary baseball but...
I continue to be confounded with how much my pitching looks like it should actually be really good from their overall numbers and yet seem to pretty much suck in every given week.
I didn't really take a whole lot of math classes in my life, as I much prefered the subjects where you could make everything up, but I am pretty sure that math doesn't work that way. Reasonably sure.
And yet the sum total of their weekly suckiness has somehow been good enough to keep you in first place for basically the entire season. Be thankful your best pitcher isn't sitting on the couch right now with a brand new ligament in his elbow, presumably one transplanted from his butt.
My best pitcher is in that very position. His name is Chris Carpenter. I can't complain too much, though. My best hitter is having a great year even by his standards.
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Yeah, lfm, in my experience it is sort of bad form to complain about how poorly your team is doing when you have been in first place I think every single week of the season.
Perversely, in my experience it is better form to come in here and say "You may feel a slight sting. That's pride fuck*ng with you. Fuck pride. Pride only hurts, it never helps."
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Worry not, Nab.
My complete lack of football knowledge will provide my comeuppance.
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Worry not, Nab.
My complete lack of football knowledge will provide my comeuppance.
I couldn't help but notice that your pitching is slowly but surely burying me this week, on top of you having the offensive side of the ball wrapped up already.
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Oh, I think the pitching balance will be changed today.
I have no starting pitchers today, you have two. That'll basically lock up the strikeout, win, ERA and WHIP categories. You get a couple saves and a couple stolen bases and you've worked out a win.
EDIT: In just a few hours and half the day, you've already locked up WHIP and Ks and tied me for stolen bases.
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Oh, I think the pitching balance will be changed today.
I have no starting pitchers today, you have two. That'll basically lock up the strikeout, win, ERA and WHIP categories. You get a couple saves and a couple stolen bases and you've worked out a win.
EDIT: In just a few hours and half the day, you've already locked up WHIP and Ks and tied me for stolen bases.
Holy crap - that might be my first SB since July!
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My new house has horrible internet and no a/c (in August, in Oklahoma) so I am always gone and pretend sports have become secondary to not dying (see what I did there). I didn't start Wakefield yesterday for a win that would have given me a tie in that category (as of last night). I thought A-CAP's incompetence (sorry buddy) would make it not matter but he made a comeback last night and I am afraid that might keep me out of the playoffs (were I obviously would have dominated). anyways, yeah, hopefully I get in or lose by enough that that would not matter. (I guess I like using parenthesis (apparently)).
Edit: actually it would not have put me in a tie. I need medication for my sleep depriv-aa-ttion.
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My new house has horrible internet and no a/c (in August, in Oklahoma) so I am always gone and pretend sports have become secondary to not dying (see what I did there). I didn't start Wakefield yesterday for a win that would have given me a tie in that category (as of last night). I thought A-CAP's incompetence (sorry buddy) would make it not matter but he made a comeback last night and I am afraid that might keep me out of the playoffs (were I obviously would have dominated). anyways, yeah, hopefully I get in or lose by enough that that would not matter. (I guess I like using parenthesis (apparently)).
Edit: actually it would not have put me in a tie. I need medication for my sleep depriv-aa-ttion.
Getchself a window A/C unit. You'll need one.
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Yeah, the utilities are turned off because my roommate didn't pay the bills before I moved in. A window ac unit is about a fourth of the cost of the bill so I think I am just going to loan him money so I can have other nice things like a stove and hot water. It was the only place I could find until December-which is when I get my useless History degree- and I need to get out of this town badly so...
I didn't know about this before I moved in, but the December thing is almost the only thing I care about at this point. Hello decent West Coast city after that.
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I think the pretend football thing has me looking past the preseason even more than usual this year. I'm watching a Giants/Jets game right now and the intensity is still obviously in preseason mode. Ed Hochuli needs to cut down some more - his guns are a little doughy.
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See? The Venomous Monkeys totally worked the tie in stolen bases, may have overtaken for batting average and clinched for WHIP and Ks. All I'm really guaranteed on is runs, RBI, HR, wins and saves.
A win for the Gilded Age? Sure. But hardly a drubbing.
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I have no buffer zone. I need to be blowing people out. GOD DAMMIT WHAT AM I GOING TO DO ABOUT MY PROBLEMS.
I appreciate you two combining for 20 strikeouts. I don't care for a 7.50 ERA and no wins.
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Another week before the playoffs? WTF is wrong with me.
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See? The Venomous Monkeys totally worked the tie in stolen bases
My sister is a great kisser.
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My sister is a great kisser.
But Daddy still says you're the best?
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Gary Sheffield is now likely done for the season. He also happens to be on the can't-cut list. At least now Chris Carpenter will have some company.
The playoffs are going to be fun! Weee!
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Gary Sheffield is now likely done for the season. He also happens to be on the can't-cut list. At least now Chris Carpenter will have some company.
The playoffs are going to be fun! Weee!
I saw that news whilst on the elliptical and watching football, and I thought 'oh man, I hope I play whoever has Sheff soon'.
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The weird thing is, I'm pretty sure I cut him earlier this year when he was off to a spectacularly awful start. Then I added him back once he got back to his usual self. I guess this begs the question: can someone go from can-cut to can't-cut during the season?
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I think I had a cup of coffee with Sheff as well.
Yes, you can go from can't-cut to can-cut and back in the Yahoo leagues but... it is hazy who determines these changes. Some sort of fantasy baseball illuminati hanging around in the Yahoo offices, by all that I can tell.
Don't worry, though. You are going to beat me this week because Brandon Webb is going to get his revenge on me as many times as he possibly can in this game.
Biggest mistake in the entire TOUAMB league this season, my givin' up on Webb.
If I had Webb and a healthy Figgins instead of Markakis and Youklis, I figure I'd have 150 wins right now. Dumb, dumb, dumb.
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Yeah, I did kind of fleece you with that Webb trade. But really, who could have foreseen him going on an absolute tear that would leave him two shutouts short of breaking the all-time scoreless innings streak? I'm pretty sure his ERA was in the low 4's / high 3's when I got him.
Really, it's my only solace when I consider the inevitable trouncing I'll receive in the playoffs.
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I realize that it sounds like petty obsessing, because we're in the last week of the regular season and I have a slim hold on first place despite my mistakes but...
I mean, what's killing me in the pitching category is that everyone else is carrying seven starting pitchers, I'm carrying five and... all the good starters were claimed months ago, so dumping a reliever for a sixth starter wouldn't do anything good for me.
But if I had Figgins, I'd be covering my need for SBs off the bench AND my back-up third baseman, meaning that both Markakis (SBs) and Youklis (back-up 3B) would be rendered redundant and I could roll with eleven position players and still have a reasonable chance of getting around sixty offensive "starts" a seven-day week out of the maximum sixty-three.
Eleven hitters and yet every "position" covered one more than the minimum... two 3B eligibilities, two C eligs, two SS eligs, three 1B eligs, four 2B eligs and four OF eligs.
...which would mean that I could carry six starters and four relievers without dropping anyone and the sixth would be Webb.
Leaving me a fuck*ng murderer's row of four ace starters... Beckett, Santana, Lackey and Webb... along with two solid #3-type starters, Bannister and El Duque, to stat-build for me on the backend.
...which would mean that I was no longer giving up on the win, strikeout and stolen bases most weeks.
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You need to get in a league that isn't mostly populated with idiots, I think.
Samefully, a month from now I'm going to be complaining that the equipment guy for the Giants never brings long enough spikes when they play go on the road and play open-air teams.
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Samefully is a perfectly cromulent word.
We are all embiggened by its duketastic qualities.
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Samefully is a perfectly cromulent word.
We are all embiggened by its duketastic qualities.
Samefully, that was after an edit. Fuck it, that word works better than the one I intended.
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But if I had Figgins, I'd be covering my need for SBs off the bench AND my back-up third baseman, meaning that both Markakis (SBs) and Youklis (back-up 3B) would be rendered redundant and I could roll with eleven position players and still have a reasonable chance of getting around sixty offensive "starts" a seven-day week out of the maximum sixty-three.
I hope it's not rubbing it in too badly to point out that after I snatched up Figgins for the first time, he dropped below the Mendoza line and I cut him, too. I guess I was just fortunate enough to realize my mistake sooner.
It's interesting to look back at my Week 1 roster and see all the changes I've made since then. Mike Gonzalez in my bullpen? Josh Barfield? Chad Tracy? Ryan Freel? That guy was actually part of the core of my team for most of the first half. And don't forget this guy, (http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/players/7095) who I only now have the courage to admit was high up in my pre-draft rankings. What was I smoking? It's a wonder I even have a winning record. I don't feel like I can claim much credit for replacing them, either; most of that came about pretty serendipitously. About half the players on my team now I originally added as temporary fixes when someone got injured or I needed an extra start out of my rotation on a given week. All's well that ends well, I guess.
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Hey, he got you those 2 k's buddy.
Some people.
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Wow, my fantasy team and my favorite team are both in tailspins right now. At least over the past few weeks while the Fightin' Reanimated Reagans were beginning their steep decline, I could find comfort in the fact that the Mariners were kicking ass all over the AL. Now... not so much! They've both decided that it's time I look forward to the NBA season.
Yeah, that's right, the NBA. I might be the last white person in America who still prefers it over the NFL.
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Yeah, that's right, the NBA. I might be the last white person in America who still prefers it over the NFL.
Basketball's problem is the opposite of soccer's: too much scoring. They need to increase the size of the court, raise the basket, and allow zone defenses so the game becomes more than a series of windsprints and dunks. The fact that an 18-year old can play pro ball indicates the demands of the game are too simple.
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Well, they do allow zone defenses. And the only 18 year old to succeed in the NBA in the last ten years? LeBron James. Kind of a special case.
But I know the NBA's not for everyone. In fact, the amount of people it is for continues to dwindle -- but I don't think it's from lack of scoring. Look at the Phoenix Suns. They play a fast-paced game that's all about unselgiraffeness and teamwork... and they're the most entertaining team in the league because of it.
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They've both decided that it's time I look forward to the NBA season.
Yeah, that's right, the NBA. I might be the last white person in America who still prefers it over the NFL.
Hey, don't feel bad about discussing the NBA in this thread - it is 'Pretend Sports', after all.
Heyoooooo!
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Zing! This fuck*ng guy right here!!
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all week - veal - tip waitresses.
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Well, they do allow zone defenses. And the only 18 year old to succeed in the NBA in the last ten years? LeBron James. Kind of a special case.
Kobe, KG, Carmello Anthony (19), ...
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Kobe and KG were both more than 10 years ago and didn't exactly set the world on fire as 18 year olds. Carmelo, though, is a much better example. I kind of forgot about him, what with him having played college basketball and all.
But the main point I'm trying to make is that the vast majority of 18 year olds can't really "play pro ball." If they're lucky, they'll turn into the aforementioned players. More likely, they'll turn into Martell Webster, Shaun Livingston, Sebastian Telfair, etc.
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FUCK YES LADIES. Hockey's onnnnn!
http://hockey.fantasysports.yahoo.com/hockey/register/createjoin
Do we have an imaginary hockey league set up?
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If you set one up, L-Money, I'm in.
I'll have to get the advice of my friend Mark who, like, actually knows stuff about hockey but I'm in.
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If you set one up, L-Money, I'm in.
I'll have to get the advice of my friend Mark who, like, actually knows stuff about hockey but I'm in.
I ain't know shit about violence ball, but I'm willing to learn.
Apparently you can change the settings later? Party people, let me know if something pisses you off and we'll see about fixin' it.
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You have been invited to join linnea1978's Custom League (http://hockey.fantasysports.yahoo.com/hockey/register/tos?league_id=15632&password=linnea) in Yahoo! Sports Fantasy Hockey.
In order to join the league, follow the link above or go to game front page, click the "Sign Up Now" or "Get Another Team" button and follow the links to "Join a Custom League". When prompted, enter the League ID# and password below.
League ID#: 15632
Password: linnea
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I joined under the team name 'Sex Funeral'. Watch out, hockey world!
At this point, I should probably mention that I know literally nothing about hockey.
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I'm the Utica Devils... the minor league hockey team closest to where I grew up.
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I am Tonya Harding Redux.
I was AWOL back when people were signing up for pretend football, so I'm happy to be able to get in on this, even if my only knowledge of hockey comes from watching "Mystery, Alaska." I have a friend who's a huge Thrashers fan, so maybe I can get him to help me out.
Actually, does anybody who's signed up so far know anything about hockey? It seems like everyone here has confessed their complete ignorance of the sport after joining. This could make for an interesting season...
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I hope I get Sammy Cosby.
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I know a lot about hockey... like... such as in general?
But I know nothing about recent NHL.
It's, like, you gotta have a special digital cable package to watch the playoffs.
And apparently, there's teams in, like, Memphis and Tampa Bay and Columbus and Biloxi and Shreveport and Tijuana and the Azores and stuff.
But the general premise of hockey, sure.
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Thanks for joining, everyone!! How long do I have until I have to start the draft? The rules said that we have to have at least four teams and an even number before the draft gets going. Of course, I want to wait and make sure that everyone who wants in has a chance to join up. We have a maximum of twelve teams in our league.
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In the match-up between the Zombie Reagans and The Gilded Age, we have put up 12 starting pitchers between us. We have generated three wins between us.
In a league that, considering it is an eight-team league to begin with, is probably only dealing with the best 40-50 starters in the league to begin with, that is pretty amazing.
As for hockey, Lin, in my limited experience in these things, the more people you get in the league, the better. If it's just, like, four teams, everybody has basically an All-Star team and the only question is who out-amazings who.
The more people involved, the more the talent is spread out and the more strategy is the name of the game.
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The Zombie Reagans are hopeless. They're basically just limping into the playoffs like last year's Colts... or Cardinals. Okay, bad examples.
But Goddamnit, I'm proud of the hardships they've overcome. I've gone the entire season with one fewer roster spot than everyone else thanks to Chris Carpenter pitching basically two games all year. Good show, Zombie Reagans. Good show.
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As for hockey, Lin, in my limited experience in these things, the more people you get in the league, the better. If it's just, like, four teams, everybody has basically an All-Star team and the only question is who out-amazings who.
The more people involved, the more the talent is spread out and the more strategy is the name of the game.
My family football league is down to 6 teams. It's absurd. I miss Grampa - he wasn't much of a competitor, but you could always load your team by making trades with him.
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The Zombie Reagans are still gonna give me a run this week, 'lack.
Y'all got four guys starting Sunday, I got two... you have basestealers, I have given up on that category.
That essentially locks up wins, strikeouts and stolen bases for ya... and I have to think you've got enough good pitchers in that group to pull away from a dude in ERA and WHIP. Hit a few extra lucky home runs and you sink my battleship.
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Last day and a half of Pretend Regular Season Baseball!
I am fighting my damnedest to maintain the pretend regular season title or, failing that, the first-pretend-round playoff bye... but those Zombies are well-named, Zombies wabble but they don't fall down!
I have also decided that Justin Mourneau is a spy for one of my rivals... YOU HAVE DECIDED TO SLUMP AGAINST THE ROYALS BECAUSE YOU HATE ME, JUSTIN MOURNEAU!
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Last day and a half of Pretend Regular Season Baseball!
No shit? Huh.
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My love of baseball has never extended to the realm of roto-sports.
I've never really even considered it. What's the appeal? Sell me on it.
I just wanted to drop this in here. It amuses me.
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Interestingly enough, Nabu, I have run the numbers...
And I think I have clinched the regular season pretend baseball championship!
By one-and-one-half gamepoints.
Twenty-three weeks, ten potential gamepoints a week... two-hundred-and-thirty potential points?
And I got the first slot in the playoffs by 1.5 wins.
So... a dude did not dominate. A dude did not dominate at all.
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Interestingly enough, Nabu, I have run the numbers...
And I think I have clinched the regular season pretend baseball championship!
By one-and-one-half gamepoints.
Twenty-three weeks, ten potential gamepoints a week... two-hundred-and-thirty potential points?
And I got the first slot in the playoffs by 1.5 wins.
So... a dude did not dominate. A dude did not dominate at all.
I was just thinking:
A) You took to it like a duck to water, and
B) Now you are doomed to a life of fantasy sports.
Also, I think Dread might have knocked out the Ninjas at the last possible moment.
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I suppose I did, at that.
But now I gotta figure out how one re-tools for playoff action.
I've already decided that a mediocre back-up catcher isn't really worth the roster spot in the post-season so that I could bolster my first-base depth considering Mourneau is tanking his goddamned little heart out right now.
Also, another starting pitcher seemed like a better idea than holding onto my worst reliever for the purposes of the counting-stats in a one-week playoff.
So now all I've got left is to figure out what I most need, statistically, out of a back-up SS and if I'm gonna have El Duque to start next week or if the Mets are gonna shut him down for three starts to save him for the playoffs and... I'm gonna have to just take the best starter off the FA wire and go with him.
I may, indeed, be doomed for life.
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With my roster having two spaces frozen by injured superstars, I have a lot less flexibility on my hands for the playoffs. That might just be a good thing, though, because I tried to shake things up a few weeks back and just ended up falling to a distant third. I was fine where I was, right on LFM's tail, but I got greedy. Oh well.
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I will not win another matchup but I made it to the playoffs.
Thank fuck.
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Holy crap, I'm in the playoffs!
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Already doggin' it in RBIs, average, and Ks. Thanks, everybody, it was a good season!
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So far tonight A-Rod (the best player on my fantasy team and perhaps in all of baseball) is 0 for 2 against Horacio Ramirez (the worst pitcher on my favorite team and perhaps in all of baseball). Emotions.... so conflicted.....
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Gentlemen, there will be consolation rounds, y'know... even if you lose, the season does not end.
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Gentlemen, there will be consolation rounds, y'know... even if you lose, the season does not end.
True. It just means we suck ass.
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Yea, me and Nabu are tied at three. We each have ERA's over 10 and WHIP's over 2. Who is going to try to lose harder?
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6-4, now. You've got three times as many strikeouts, and I have you beat in wins and saves (1 apiece).
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You 6?
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Ha ha - no.
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Wow, how did I go up from 4 points to 7 points in my matchup? My lone pitcher yesterday got shelled. Weird.
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L-Money... I got a buddy who's a hockey fan but doesn't have a group of people to do the fantasy league thing with...
Hockey not exactly being an LA thing.
May I ask him if he wants into the hockey league? Your call, you're the organizer, I just was thinking about it because those kinds of leagues are always better with more people in them.
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Hockey not exactly being an LA thing.
That's folks in SoCal for you. They get to watch the single greatest hockey player in the history of the game, and that can't even sustain interest in the sport.
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L-Money... I got a buddy who's a hockey fan but doesn't have a group of people to do the fantasy league thing with...
Hockey not exactly being an LA thing.
May I ask him if he wants into the hockey league? Your call, you're the organizer, I just was thinking about it because those kinds of leagues are always better with more people in them.
Go for it!
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I have a theory that it's the transplants that keep hockey breathing out here. 'Cause after a generation theres no fuck*ng way a sane person'd choose it over one of the 9 jillion other things you can do outside year 'round.
ALSO: I think you may rate Marcel Dionne a little high but thanks anyways.
Oh you - you're a nut, you are!
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Fuck everything right in the mouth.
A-Rod just eliminated my beloved Mariners from the playoffs tonight with not one but two home runs. He might be on my fantasy team, but you know what? It sucks. It sucks Nice Pet's crooked c*ck, is what it does.
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Eliminated? I would not say that the Mariners are eliminated.
They just have to pull themselves together long enough to hang in until the Yankees pitching completely collapses again.
Three games out from the Yankees is doable... much of their plan is dependent on Roger Clemens and Mike Mussina suddenly waking up fifteen years younger, for cripes' sakes, it is doable.
Your team just have to hold up their end of the bargain, is all.
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Yeah, seriously, I'm still pulling for the Mariners for the Wild Card due to my irrational hatred of the Yankees. Besides, I'm an Indians fan and I would love to see a rematch of the 95 ALCS (although Kenny Lofton can't steal home right in front of Randy Johnson while he was holding the ball this time, for two obvious reasons). Maybe the moose and slider can both be on crutches again, too.
Good times.
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Today, in the heat of a playoff series, I have one guy playing. Four are listed in games, but two are injured and one's a starting pitcher who's not taking the mound. So that leave one: Russell Martin. You better play your goddamned heart out, you fat little catcher.
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I have figured out, just in time to get eliminated, that too many of my players are on the same teams.
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Honestly, Nabu?
This is probably why I won a lot of the points I did win...
Adjusting and readjusting and readjusting my line-up so that I could field nine at-least-decent hitters every day, sometimes at the expense of my batting average, just to accumulate the four "counting" hitting stats where you gain from sheer havin' guys play on any given day.
For the playoffs, of course, I am altering that strategy a bit so as to not immediately concede the AVG and SB stats in weeks that are now single-elimination... trading down powernumbers to have some basestealers on my bench and to have a firstbaseman who can hit for average if Mourneau is tanking hard...
But over the long haul of the season, figuring that out was probably 20-25% of my success.
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yea, I recognized that, but, I really would prefer to have players I like on my team (to some extent). That means alot of Red Sox.
Actually, if I could have my team would probably just be Mets and Red Sox with some cool players thrown in.
I don't really have this problem in football, Redskins fans can't really hope to win with their favorite players. Portis would certainly have a spot on my team though.
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The problem with being a Mets fan in fantasy league stuff is that all the great players go super-quick because, like, they're the third-most covered team in the country... leaving you with guys who are washed-up to all hell (Shawn Green) still good in theory but injured so much that they're not worth anything on a fantasy team (LoDuca, Delgado, Alou) or young and great but Willie refuses to play young guys no matter how good they are (Gotay, Gomez, Milledge) because he learned how to manage from Joe Torre who learned how to manage from a guide to managing baseball from 18-fuck*ng-73.
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Thank the good lord Football season has finally arrived.
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I have no idea at what ratios I get points in this game... but... it seems that Marvin Harrison catching a touchdown is a good thing.
I only picked him because I remembered that he played for Syracuse back when Syracuse was not as terrible.
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Honestly, Nabu?
This is probably why I won a lot of the points I did win...
Adjusting and readjusting and readjusting my line-up so that I could field nine at-least-decent hitters every day, sometimes at the expense of my batting average, just to accumulate the four "counting" hitting stats where you gain from sheer havin' guys play on any given day.
I did this for maybe the first half of the season, and then I just got burned out with fuck*ng with it constantly.
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Apparently, Drew Brees is completely fuck*ng terrible.
I was not aware of this. I am not aware of many football things, it seems.
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Apparently, Drew Brees is completely fuck*ng terrible.
I was not aware of this. I am not aware of many football things, it seems.
No. Drew Brees isn't bad. Indy's D is underrated. Sean Payton is a fuck*ng pussy of a coach who doesn't go for it down 2 TDs with 10 minutes left on 4th and inches.
Remember, those are the World Champion Indianapolis Colts.
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Roughly ten minutes before the start of the M's-Tigers game, I took a look at the matchup and decided I could afford to take a hit in the pitching counting stats if it meant preserving my lead in the average ones. So, I benched Felix Hernandez against the Tigers. After the first inning? He's already given up four runs. Dodged a motherfuck*ng bullet there.
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Well I know we're only 2/3 of the way through the games in week one, but I think it's now safe to declare the NFC North the best division in the NFL.
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My wife has already declared the league to be a threat to our marriage, when I explained why this Bears-Chargers game is so important to me.
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It looks like my little "joke" has changed the fortune of the Bears.
You're welcome, Nabu.
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It looks like my little "joke" has changed the fortune of the Bears.
You're welcome, Nabu.
Oh man was that a delicious game. Afterwards, they said they were going to talk to the winning QB, and then they showed Rivers. WTF? LT was the winning QB.
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Well I know we're only 2/3 of the way through the games in week one, but I think it's now safe to declare the NFC North the best division in the NFL.
In the same period of time, it has become clear that I know nothing about the foosball.
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In my family league, I am gettin whipped 120 - 40.
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Okay, guys, the TOUAMBie Fantasy Hockey league is going to draft tomorrow, so if you haven't already gotten in, get there! PM me if you need the invite code, but I think it's just a couple pages back in this thread.
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Plaxico Burress is a fine fine human being.
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Not as fine as Randy Moss. Who ever I am playing has already lost (i think I have two people going tomorrow, they have zero and I am up by five) and Randy Moss' 183 yards (!) and touchdown is the difference.
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I think I need Houshmanzippy to score enough TDs that Baltimore's defense gets no points. At least it looks like his knee is OK.
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Week two of the imaginary baseball imaginary playoffs!
Radiodread, I shake your hand and then both teams come out fightin'.
I am clearly terrible at football so I'll make the most of this final baseball run.
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Did I also play you at football last week. I am The Happy Chemical?
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Yep.
My problem in Pretend Football, oddly enough, is not that I did not draft reasonably well. I seem to have done that.
My problem is that since I know little about the current NFL, I didn't start the right guys ON my roster.
I could've won by a lot if I had figured that Eli Manning was going to get a lot of plays in a garbage time loss and that Adrian Peterson was going to get a full game's playing time despite being a total rookie.
This pretend football thing is a lot more of a scattershot proposition, isn't it? 17 weeks of games instead of 162 games.
Expected long-term results aren't averaged out by the longhaul of a season... things either happen or they do not.
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This must say something about me and my preference for baseball.
It is a long season and some could consider it grinding or boring but... over the course of a year... the numbers cannot lie or cannot lie for long enough to effect the whole of the season. Slumps and tears will average each other out, overall merit will be judged at the end and only at the very end.
Football, two games gone poorly or exceedingly well, and you're in the playoffs or you're not. You are princes or paupers on the whims of the wind and minor injury on two or three days.
In baseball, even the championship round, you can play terribly three times as long as you play brilliantly four times.
It is much more in tune with my vision of life in general and in my hopes for my own life in specifics.
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My guys are acquitting themselves well this week - just about everyone's beating their projected point score with the exception of the kicker. The draft gave me San Diego's kicker - which is OK if PAT's count for his score. Something tells me that San Diego isn't going to be booting a lot of 45+ yard field goals this year. Maybe I'll have a look at the kicker free agent pool...
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Aramis Ramirez clearly hasn't forgiven me for dumping him early on.
YOU WERE INJURED, RAMMY! THERE WAS NOTHING I COULD DO!
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I'm clinging to the final weeks of the baseball season like they were the last bit of rope before plummeting down a cliff. Fortunately for me, A-Rod has continued his MVP season into the first round of the playoffs, while my pitching has been surprisingly reliable. I'm looking forward to this week's battle against the Fightin' Phloggies because I know it might just be my last week of competitive imaginary sports where I know what the hell is going on.
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Here's the latest for the TOUAMBie Achewood Fantasy Hockey League:
Your auto draft will be completed between now and 11:59 PM PT on Friday, Sep 14
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Do you read the Nation of Islam Sports blog, August West? because there is a commenter there with that screen name.
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Do you read the Nation of Islam Sports blog, August West? because there is a commenter there with that screen name.
No. No I do not.
In fact, I had no idea the Nation of Islam had a Sports blog. What would Allah say?
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I remember asking you if you commented somewhere else under that name - it's pretty popular on the interwebs.
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Day One goes to Radiodread, mostly thanks to Ramirez...
"RAAAAAMIIIREZ!" I say, such as the Kurgan would.
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August West is a character from a Grateful Dead song.
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To: Cadillac Williams
From: Lister
Re: Your ribs
Sorry about getting your ribs broken by drafting you. I bet that hurts! If it helps any I didn't start you.
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I think I need Houshmanzippy to score enough TDs that Baltimore's defense gets no points. At least it looks like his knee is OK.
It looks like your cunning plan worked, cos the damn D only scored me 2 points. That and Larry Fitzgerald getting ignored by Arizona's O coordinator.
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Yes, I managed to just barely squeak out wins in two of my three leagues this week. On the plus side, I'm #1 in roster moves in all three.
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Yes, I managed to just barely squeak out wins in two of my three leagues this week. On the plus side, I'm #1 in roster moves in all three.
you're just rearranging the deck chairs on the Hindenburg, homes. The Motherfuck*ng Walruses are gonna be so up in your craw.
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So, the pretend hockey auto-draft is now over. In my laziness, I left my default pre-draft rankings unchanged, but I still managed to pick up three Thrashers players and Danny Heatley, so at least I can watch them firsthand, a la 'sMets with his Angels. The computer also used its ninth-round pick on some guy named Niedermayer, who is currently tagged with a red "NA." Fragged by his own teammates, perhaps?
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Yes! I got Lubomir Visnovsky! Suck on thaaaaat.
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The computer also used its ninth-round pick on some guy named Niedermayer, who is currently tagged with a red "NA." Fragged by his own teammates, perhaps?
DEAR FELIX:
fuck*ng AWESOME REFERENCE EQUALS A TINY CAN.
REGARDS,
THE LITTLE FALLS METS
(Also, I appear to be completely fucked this week, baseball-wise. See you in the consolation round!)
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I doubt that. I do think my side was better towards the end of the year than all but the top three (I have a little evidence of that now), me beating you would be like the Cardinals winning the World Series last year. In other words, bullshit.
Also, Wakefield gave up 7 runs in 3 innings.
I guess it is good he only pitched three innings?
Still, I anticipated beating the Monkeys and losing to you. Don't make me look like a fool.
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Also, even though he struggled early I kept Manny on my team. Now that I need to bring Renteria off the DL, I can't cut him, so I have a choice between three outfielders, one basically inactive for a while or 1 SS and 3B. Dang.
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you're just rearranging the deck chairs on the Hindenburg, homes. The Motherfuck*ng Walruses are gonna be so up in your craw.
Oh man, I think I would enjoy Pretend Football so much more if I had the smack talk gene.
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Only six teams in the hockey league. It's like old-skool NHL.
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Oh man, I discovered the beauty of DirecTV Short Cuts last night. Part of the whole DirecTV Sunday Ticket thing is 30 minute broadcasts on Monday and Tuesday of every game with all non-playtime edited out. I watched the whole Detroit/Oakland game last night while my fiancee was getting ready to go over to a friend's place.
A result of this viewing: It is too early to get too excited about Kitna or the Detroit receivers, notwithstanding the numbers they put up on Sunday. Apparently the Oakland defense is employing a strategy of staying nine to eleven feet away from the opposing team's receivers until they have the ball secured and have turned upfield.
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ALSO: LET'S PLAY THAT OLD TIME HOCKEY!
Damn! I would have played fantasy hockey if I'd known I could use the Hanson Brothers.
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I'm going to try not to get into too much specific smack-talk in the hockey thing but damn, Somebody nice, you could have picked Heydude off the waiver wire.
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Aw man... how after being in first place all year am I already fucked two days into my first playoff week?
That's ridiculous?
But that's also what's completely awesome about baseball.
The juxtaposition of significant samples and fluke runs against pivotal turning points in a season.
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Aw man... how after being in first place all year am I already fucked two days into my first playoff week?
You know I'm a Chargers fan - why you gotta say shit like this?
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I'm going to try not to get into too much specific smack-talk in the hockey thing but damn, Somebody nice, you could have picked Heydude off the waiver wire.
No! No! I'm sorry! None of those terms mean anything to me! (http://achewood.com/index.php?date=08022002)!
I need to find some time to sit down with a fantasy FAQ so I can figure out what the fuck I'm doing. Christ.
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It meant Sid the Kid coming to me, so... great pick, Linnea!
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Man - no Darren McCarty, no Bob Probert . . . I did get Mr. Hockey, didn't I?
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Aw man... how after being in first place all year am I already fucked two days into my first playoff week?
That's ridiculous?
But that's also what's completely awesome about baseball.
The juxtaposition of significant samples and fluke runs against pivotal turning points in a season.
I think, towards the end of the year, it was basically the top three teams and all the rest. It would be flukish if the Reagans or Phlogistons beat you, but if I do it is bullshit.
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ARAMIS RAMIREZ HAS CHOSEN TO HIT 50 HOME RUNS THIS WEEK JUST TO FUCKIN' SPITE ME.
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We are approaching the final stretch. I would feel more comfortable about my chances of winning this week if the matchup page didn't reveal that nearly all my leads are by a paper thin margin -- just one light breeze and I could easily be sitting at 3-7 instead of the other way around. The one exception being the Phloggies' flukey team ERA. I mean, 5.47? And the WHIP is only 1.60? That's just really, really bad luck on the part of your pitching staff.
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Okay. Here's the amazing thing.
My pretend baseball team has decided to collapse the exact same way that the team I really cheer for, the Mets, has.
As close to the end as possible and by all their lesser pitchers imploding at once.
I'm okay with this.
But motherfucker, I'm not going down without a fight...
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Everything but wins, K's, rbis and maybe average is open You have the K's and RBI's, I should win the wins and average-- I just have a small advantage on the rest.
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It is very safe to say that you have ERA and WHIP locked up, Keith.
I am gonna need a whole lotta luck in all the right categories to even make this close...
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Oh yeah, forgot about those.
You seem to be just waiting to pass me on runs and HR though.
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Why don't you two just get a room, goddammit.
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n00b question: What exactly is the "Can't Cut List," and why do I have three players on it?
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Those are players you can't just drop from your team if you don't like them.
If you want to replace them, you need to trade them or basically be stuck with them.
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I think the idea is to keep somebody from screwing up the league by dumping all their best players. I can't imagine playing in a league where that is a problem, but maybe it is in a public league full of strangers. (As opposed to imaginary internet friends). You probably won't want to cut people on the can't cut list anyway. If their performance drops off significantly or if they're injured, they'll be taken off the list.
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One place it can come up is when a player on the can't cut list has a long-term injury. Mark Texiera spent half the season on the DL, but I couldn't get rid of him. I'm glad I held on to him, but it was frustrating.
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Right now, in baseball, Manny Ramirez is not on the DL but hasn't played in a couple weeks. He is on the can't cut list and the trade deadline is over.
And it is the fuck*ng playoffs.
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Well, if it makes you feel any better, even without Manny, you're givin' me a full-on Roadhouse Country Whuppin'.
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I think the idea is to keep somebody from screwing up the league by dumping all their best players. I can't imagine playing in a league where that is a problem, but maybe it is in a public league full of strangers. (As opposed to imaginary internet friends). You probably won't want to cut people on the can't cut list anyway. If their performance drops off significantly or if they're injured, they'll be taken off the list.
My friends always play fantasy for money, and there are a bunch of the dudes in the group who cannot be trusted to come up with money. The first year they did baseball, a dude started losing and complaining the league was screwed up, then traded away all his best players to support his argument as to why he would not pay. That year, only about four out of a dozen people payed the winner.
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I just hope the Red Sox win but Schilling does horribly. I kind of always wish that when he pitches---especially today.
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My friends always play fantasy for money, and there are a bunch of the dudes in the group who cannot be trusted to come up with money. The first year they did baseball, a dude started losing and complaining the league was screwed up, then traded away all his best players to support his argument as to why he would not pay. That year, only about four out of a dozen people payed the winner.
That's a Hunt's move right there. If I were in a league playing for money, I'd insist everyone paid up front. Of course, I'd make myself be the one who collects it, then put the funds in some kind of account and earn interest on it over the season. But that's just me.
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So... having my pitching implode really did suck, but it did give me the liberty to stream pitchers like crazy and take back the wins and strikeouts categories. A good day at the plate for Todd Helton got me the lead in runs scored, and a tie in homers. Now it all comes down to the Yankees-Red Sox game tonight.
I did some calculations, and here's the breakdown:
- The Phlogistons currently lead the Zombie Reagans by two games, with two ties.
- If either Jeter or A-Rod hits a home run tonight, the Reagans win in home runs. Otherwise it's a tie.
- If Jeter and A-Rod combine for 2 runs scored, the runs category will be a tie. If they combine for 3 or more, the Reagans win. Otherwise, the Phlogistons win.
- If Jeter and A-Rod really catch fire and combine for 10 RBI or better, the Reagans can tie or beat the Phlogistons in RBI.
- If Papelbon gets a save, the Phlogistons win in saves. If Rivera gets a save, the Reagans win. If neither does, it's a tie.
The game starts in fifteen minutes, if anyone cares to watch. This is for a spot in the final, folks! Good luck to you, Melack, and may the best team win.
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I remember you got the 10 dollar thing, LFM, can you tell who wins when you know?
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I have it but it doesn't give you the tablulated results til the morning.
I'm pretty sure you're in the finals, K. Congrats.
Having the ten-dollar thing for baseball doesn't seem to carry over for football, too, which sucks.
I have no idea how terrible I'm doing this week in the ol' hoghide.
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...and the results are in:
http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/boxscore?gid=270916102
A real nail-biter - especially with Rivera's near-collapse at the end. The fantasy-relevant parts stayed close until the final pitch, too. So, a save from Mo, a home run from Jeter, but only one run total for the Reagans in that game should leave us...
...tied, with five wins apiece?
I have no clue how that's supposed to work out. I may have added wrong, of course, but if not I'm not sure what Y! does to break ties in this league. I fear the potential for bullshit, such as a coin flip or my advancing to the final based on seeding alone. But whatever happens, and whoever goes on to the final, at least the series concluded in a suitably epic manner.
Also: Keith, LFM... if you don't want to pay for the 10 dollar thing, they still give you live box scores for free; you just have to count up all the stats on your own fingers and toes. That's what I've done all season.
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In the event that a playoff game ends in a tie, the deadlock will be broken using the following system:
(See below if your league does not use one or more of the following categories.)
1. Lowest team ERA.
2. Highest team AVG.
3. Lowest team WHIP.
4. Most team HR.
5. Most team wins.
6. Most team RBI.
7. Most team saves.
8. Most team runs.
9. Most team SO.
10. Most team SB.
11. Random "coin flip."
I don't know whether that means for the round or the entire season. I know I have a pretty healthy lead this week in ERA, and (spends 20 minutes digging through Yahoo's stat archive) I apparently also lead in seasonal ERA by a very slim 0.14 earned runs. Wow. I guess we'll see if all this amateur math pays off come tomorrow.
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That seasonal head-to-head stat listing is really interesting. For example, my team went 9-14-0 for the season in the ERA category despite leading the entire league in that category, average-wise, over the course of the season. I came second in team RBI, but went .500 on the year in that category during head-to-head matchups.
And to give you an idea how wildly unpredictable some stats are, the league leader in stolen bases had nearly four times as many as the last place person, while the difference between top and bottom in batting average was a a razor thin .018, which is really only a dozen or so lucky singles over the course of the year.
Not to take anything away from our regular season champ LFM, but looking at these stats really gives you an idea of how much of a factor luck is during the year.
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That's baseball, though...
A six-month-long struggle to outsmart luck and bend it to your will over one at-bat, one game, one-hundred-and-sixty-two games.
You're trying to hit a tiny ball with a small piece of wood AND you're trying to control which direction it goes when you hit it AND you're trying to hit it in a PART of that area where eight premiere athletes don't get to it before you can get to first base.
If you see 5 pitches an at-bat, say, and you're up five times?
And you can do that TWICE, get the ball to hit the ground in fair territory, in a place where a player can't then throw the ball to make it to first before you do...
If you do that twice in an entire game, two times out of twenty or twenty-five or thirty swings...
You've had one hell of a game. You're 2-5.
You do that every night and you play nearly every night?
You're not just good, you're one of the best hitters ever. You're right up there with Ted Williams and Ty Cobb if you can do that simple thing twice a night, every night.
No one has even been able to do THAT in decades.
It's a beautiful game. It's THE beautiful game.
You're battling probability, you're battling luck, you're battling God...
But if you could manage to never make an out, the game could go on for goddamned ever.
YOU could go on for goddamned ever.
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That seasonal head-to-head stat listing is really interesting.
You said it. Wish I had known that was there earlier, although I'm not sure how I could have used the info to my benefit.
Apparently my team hit reasonably well but the pitching was in the cellar. I didn't think my pitching was that bad.
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Meanwhile, in football news: I got 41 FP from my QB and could still lose. I have two players plus the Iggles D tonight and have 30+ points to make up. Sheesh.
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Well, Phlogistons, it looks like we did finish in a dead tie, so I just barely move on thanks to that microscopic sliver of an ERA lead I had over you during the season. Job well done on a great year. I'm sure you'll kick my ass in football.
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Meanwhile, in football news: I got 41 FP from my QB and could still lose.
Here's hoping that you do just exactly that.
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And this week's high score is... The Motherfuck*ng Walrus.
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Well, Phlogistons, it looks like we did finish in a dead tie, so I just barely move on thanks to that microscopic sliver of an ERA lead I had over you during the season. Job well done on a great year. I'm sure you'll kick my ass in football.
Very well played, sir. I just hope the drama of that series doesn't eclipse that of the real final. Good luck versus Mr. Radiodread. You'll get no football ass-kickery from me, I'm afraid, as I missed signing up for that league. We will face off again in pretend hockey, though, but not until Week 5. See you then.
Meanwhile, I get to battle LFM for third place. All three times we met in the regular season, the result was a 5-5 tie, so it should be interesting to see how this plays out. At least this time it is I who hold a razor-thin lead in ERA.
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Seeing as how my one and only goal was to stay out of the cellar, I am hell of pleased with my 5th place finish.
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And this week's high score is... The Motherfuck*ng Walrus.
Holy crap, indeed. I'm hoping Akers can kick at least one FG to spare me the embarrassment of having my score doubled by my opponent.
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I didn't start one of my pitchers going today. fuck*ng awesome.
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Ryan Howard, you magnificent bastard! I take back all the terrible things I said about you during your slow start in April... and May, and June.
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Meanwhile, in football... w00t! 2-0! Don't think it'll continue at all, but hey, ya never know.
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I picked up a win, but it certainly wasn't due to my kicking game. Also, it seems strange that the entire defense gets lumped into one position. Surely this is an aspect of the game where differentiation by position says something about the success of a team. The real world 49'ers have had a major upgrade in overall defensive performance by getting some quality defensive backs, for example.
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Yeah, I was thinking about that. The most important aspect of the game in real life gets you about half as many points as a good quarterback.
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The problem is that there aren't that many "scorable" defensive stats. There aren't points for eating up blocks, blocking a passing lane, collapsing a pocket, not biting on a pump fake, or staying at home on a reverse. All you've got is tackles, INTs, and sacks, and only about half of a defense gets appreciable points that way.
In other news, I am angry at Yahoo for choosing Steven Jackson over Shaun Alexander. However, I feel vindicated about dropping Cincy's defense before the season started now.
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Shaun's performing well for me, thank you.
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Shaun's performing well for me, thank you.
Yours being the first reply on a brand new page, I was a little startled to read it without any context. Since my name is Shaun, my first response was "Well... I do try to be a good forum user... so thanks....?" but then I quickly came to my senses and realized you were talking about Shaun Alexander.
Nice to see he's doing well for you. Although I'm a diehard Sonics and Mariners fan, I never developed any sort of attachment for the Seahawks. The closest I cam to being a fan was during their super bowl run, but pretty much everyone in Seattle became a fan then.
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... Since my name is Shaun, my first response was "Well... I do try to be a good forum user... so thanks....?"
Good to know we're worth your best efforts.
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melack, I agree that you are a quality forum user. Your avatar is still a thing of joy.
Okay, now back to my lurking and continued surprise at how consistently this thread manages to be about pretend sports.
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This thread has faced its fair share of distractions, but once you think it's going to veer off track, another league begins its season and discussion returns to fantasy sports. Its resiliency is amazing.
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It's because there is always something new happening in pretend sports, at least until Febuary.
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It's because there is always something new happening in pretend sports, at least until Febuary.
Take that, basketball! But you're right. I'm probably the biggest proponent of the NBA on this board, but even I'll admit fantasy basketball sucks.
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It's because there is always something new happening in pretend sports, at least until Febuary.
Isn't that when we have the pretend swimsuit issue?
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People! March Madness Tournament Brackets....
OK, not exactly fantasy sports I suppose.
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Have we done brackets here before? I guess not. I feel like this year's baseball season is when a bunch of us awkwardly emerged from behind a rock to timidly admit we enjoy sports.
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I'm not sure how many of you still care about the baseball league, but for those who do: I'm sure glad I had three players with at least three hits tonight, because Sweet Christ I don't have any starting pitchers scheduled to take the mound until late February.
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I was definitely informed that Drew Brees was an acceptable quarterback.
By someone at some point, I could swear this.
Now I am gonna start him for the third straight week based on this and will probably lose because of it.
Does his O-Line just suck this season compared to last?
That is about as far as my knowledge of football goes: the quarterback might suck because the big fat guys in front of him aren't fat enough and not simply because he, himself, sucks.
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I have no idea what the third step is, nor what the 5 and 6 holes are... but I am glad that my general theory is sound.
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Yeah, but, I'm all for putting Bush on the periphery.
HEYO!
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I am excited for the 2-0 start of my Packers, but I think that the Chargers have a little something to prove, and will most likely prove it this week. At least this will keep our young team from getting too full of themselves.
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I feed you wolves softballs just to see how hard you can smash it out of the park.
I feed you both tiny cans.
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It probably looks like I'm destroying Keith in the baseball finals right now, but a closer look at the stats reveals just how precarious my lead is:
3 runs
1 HR
1 SB
1 W
5 K
0.08 WHIP
A decent-sized gust of wind in the other direction, and I'm looking at a 7-3 deficit. God, I wish the final was only one week. I don't feel so great about the sustainability of this lead.
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The interesting thing about Pretend Football is that every week, I seem to have the combination of players necessary to win that week and it is just that I use the wrong guys.
It's fascinating.
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The interesting thing about Pretend Football is that every week, I seem to have the combination of players necessary to win that week and it is just that I use the wrong guys.
It's fascinating.
This is the beauty and horror of pretend football.
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This is the beauty and horror of pretend football.
Stupid unpredictable Donovan McNabb...
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High score 2 weeks running. Motherfuck*ng Walrus pwned jall.
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actually, we are tied and both have a guy who catches passes from Brees playing tonight. Mine is a tight end, so you will probably win, but still.
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There are 49 running backs with better numbers than Maurice Jones-Drew, yet he remains on the can't cut list.
I'm not quite ready to dump him yet, but if he can't at least put put a 50 yard game sometime soon I'm going to need that roster spot.
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As bad as my team looked after the auto-draft, I was afraid to further modify it for fear I'd only mess things up even worse. Figures I'm third place now. Only in the screwy NFL.
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I would also like to mention that my lead in the baseball final is down to 6-3 after being up by 9-1 as recently as Thursday. Is it worth it to make the final round only to see your team choke in historic fashion? I'm awaiting the answer.
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As bad as my team looked after the auto-draft, I was afraid to further modify it for fear I'd only mess things up even worse. Figures I'm third place now. Only in the screwy NFL.
I'm still cautiously watching my auto-drafted team and seeing how the whole fantasy system works. I've switched kickers because apparently San Diego doesn't believe in field goals, and no matter how studly your kicker is, he doesn't earn fantasy points sitting on his ass. Maybe they should get some credit for touchbacks or coverage stops inside the 20. I picked up Dallas' kicker and he's doing much better. OK kicker + lots of field goal opportunities > awesome kicker knocking in PATs.
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I would also like to mention that my lead in the baseball final is down to 6-3 after being up by 9-1 as recently as Thursday. Is it worth it to make the final round only to see your team choke in historic fashion? I'm awaiting the answer.
That's been one hell of a final, and looking at the recent transactions for the past week it's obvious Radiodread has been fighting tooth and nail to make up that deficit. Two days left in the season, and in only two of the ten categories does one team hold a comfortable lead over the other, both in his favor.
Meanwhile, I'm trying to pick up some extra stolen bases to get a third-place sweep. Not quite the series I had hoped for, but at least LFM can take solace in the fact that we are also matched up in the hockey league this week, where he will likely kick my ass.
Turns out Niedermayer wasn't fragged, he... retired? At least he's not on the don't cut list anymore. I could have had a much longer season ahead. Not that that's saying much.
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Yeah, it looks like Keith is taking the "cut the motherfuckers who don't have any more scheduled starts" approach. It's actually quite brilliant.
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Yeah, yesterday may have killed me. Really my only hope is coming back on AVG, ERA, WHIP, HR or SB. I need three of those, and anyone who has followed my team (I am guessing only me) knows that I ain't getting the steals, and the three average scores are going to be pretty hard to come back in, what with only two days in a two week match up and all.
I am not waving the white flag, but I have definitely made sure I know where it is.
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I've ended my baseball season in shame and continue my football season in shame.
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And it is over, congrats.
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Unless Wes Welker fumbles, like, five times tomorrow, it appears that I actually won a week of pretend football. This is a nice thing.
My Mets are out of the playoffs, however. Good fuck*ng Christ.
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Yeah, that was pretty amazing. My old roommate is soooo pissed.
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I wouldn't begin to know how to tabulate the scores from the last day of the baseball season to see who won. All I can say is, Thank you, AJ Burnett. Thank you for giving up seven earned runs today.
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You guys know about the Buffalo Bills player who was very nearly paralyzed, right? Well.... I really don't know how to preface this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0KmjqabDUU&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Flookoutlanding%2Ecom%2Fstory%2F2007%2F9%2F30%2F194556%2F994).
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He's doing well.
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My football team is spectacularly awful, but my baseball team (not the TOUAMB league obviously) just won the season championship, so I'm not concerned.
Also, I have tickets for game 1 of the NLDS in Philly, so, there's that.
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Well, looks like the Zombie Reagans managed to eke out the league title. I'd like to tip my hat to Keith for an awesome final round. It ended up being ridiculously close towards the end -- a bit closer than I'd have liked, to be honest.
I also tip my hat to the rest of you guys for a great season. That was probably the best fantasy season I've had.
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I am so ridiculously fuck*ng pissed at the Mets that I can't really mourn the pretend baseball season yet.
I mean. I mean.
ONE GAME the bullpen doesn't blow. ONE GAME and they're in a one-game playoff today.
SEVENTY-FOUR GODDAMNED LOSSES and the bullpen couldn't turn one of them around?
Turn around one of the last EIGHT GAMES they played against the Phillies and they don't even need the one-game playoff.
ONE GODDAMNED GAME, BULLPEN.
Jesus Handtowel Christ!
For the want of a good goddamn fuck*ng nail, you know?
fuck*ng good goddamn.
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(http://www.bigfool.com/kruk/phanatic.gif)
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dammit.
The Mets are out of the playoffs, and my undefeated streak comes to an end in football. And that was after one of my opponent's starters was inactive for the game, and another earned a whopping ONE POINT. Meanwhile, T.O. electrocutes himself pissing and becomes Nice. Take it, Yahoo Sports:
He still managed to have an impact on the game, however, delivering the block that sprung Patrick Crayton for his first TD. It's amazing to consider given his long and "colorful" history, but Owens is proving to be not just a team player but a leader for the Cowboys this season.
Well, that's just fantastic. I didn't draft you because I like you, Owens. I drafted you because I hate you and I hate you because you put points on the board, demand the ball, and are ALL ABOUT THE STATS. You are one of my key players, and you earned me THREE POINTS today.
Of course, I'm still not about to trade you. This will last a couple weeks, then you'll want more yards. Just... GRRRR.
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I guess my Laissez-Faire approach to fantasy football should be slightly modified when by best player (and team's namesake) has a bye week.
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Sorry for crapping out on the fake baseball league. I'm normally a zealot over that kind of thing but I think this was the summer I managed to overextend myself. I get swept up in drafting teams - it's pretty much the only sports thing I think about after the final whistle blows at the Super Bowl - and this year I couldn't get into a routine at my new job that allowed me the customary 20 minutes of checkups and lineup updates.
I'll do better next year.
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Stupid unpredictable Donovan McNabb...
Lessee, last week 4 TD's. This week 12 sacks, a fumble and 138 yards. Maybe TO was onto to something...
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Motherfuck*ng Motherfuck*ng Walrus gets the most points again.
Interesting not: I (THC) had not been starting Ronnie Brown. Apparently, Ronnie Brown leads the league in fantasy points by RB. Unfortunately, for the people I played, I started Tom Brady and Randy Moss.
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The walrus that fucks his mother is unstoppable.
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I think I could have won this week if it dawned on me to insert an active quarterback into my roster. But then again... would it be okay for a team called "Just Vince Young" to not have him on their active roster for the week? The mind boggles.
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I am not winless.
That's about all I can ask for in pretend football, I reckon.
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I am not winless.
I am! WHOOOOO!
Win-Less! Win-Less! Win-Less! Win-Less!
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I'm lubing up for the Walrus this week. That's some serious firepower, son.
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Thank for the new kicker, ash. Just this morning i was trying to get a trade for him. I needed some more muscle in my legs.
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Dear Cadillac Williams:
I am sorry for drafting you. I thought I was sorry when you hurt your ribs, but it turns out I'm really sorry that your knee went kablooey.
Also, I picked up Detroit because they were playing Chicago when my normal D had a bye, but then I dropped them because I wasn't expecting Griese to throw 3 picks.
Stupid, stupid, stupid...
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Shit, I just picked up Detroit because my D sucks. Forgot they just played Chicago. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
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Having lost many of my better players to the bye-week, I now suck even MORE.
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RING IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS!
I HAVE GIVEN UP ON DREW BREES!
...like ten weeks too late.
Also, if anyone thinks Marvin Harrison will turn it around later in the year and wants to give up someone of moderate value for him, I'm listening. If my pretend football luck holds true, he'll turn right around after you take him.
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Word to the wise, playing without a running back or tight end will end any winning streak. Just putting that out there.
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A-CAP and I were privy to an interesting match-up tonight. Going into the game, I was up by 31 points - but his running back and quarterback both play for Dallas. The points prediction for them had them earning 34, but fortunately my kicker also plays for Dallas. I was therefore in the happy position of cheering for Dallas to make field goals instead of touchdowns (since I loathe the team, this caused no spiritual harm). Given that Tony Romo threw at least 4 interceptions, I'm pretty sure that not only did my kicker keep his boot firmly on the necks of the Motherfuck*ng Walruses- but the QB didn't get the heroic point totals that were predicted.
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Also, if anyone thinks Marvin Harrison will turn it around later in the year and wants to give up someone of moderate value for him, I'm listening. If my pretend football luck holds true, he'll turn right around after you take him.
I'll give you Terry Glenn for him...
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This week Brady and Moss (my team at this point) didn't do amazing and the defenses I got did worse than my previous teams, but my kicker scored something like 23 points. I'll take it.
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Are we still allowed to talk about baseball in here? And if it's real, not pretend baseball? Okay? Cool.
SSSUUUUUCK IIIIIIT YAAAAANKEEEEES SUUUUCK IIIIT JEEEEEETEEEER
Now two of my three most hated teams are eliminated (Yanks and Angels), but the team with the most insufferable fanbase of all goes on in the Red Sox.
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Try plywood next time. The whole thing shudders when you hit. Plus flying splinters.
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Frozen water? I haven't tried that. Liquid water gives a great ballistic shock explosion, but then you don't have anything to shoot at afterwards.
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Ain't nothin' wrong with hatin' on the Yankees, no matter WHERE you do it.
If hatin' on the Yankees is wrong, goddamn it, I don't ever wanna be right.
And remember Ash:
At least they MADE the playoffs.
The Mets are the team that many Angel fans are lighting up the call-boards at the LA-OC sports-radio stations looking for... brimming and laden and over-fuck*ng-flowing with more Aging Powerhitters than you or I could swing that One Big Stick at.
Moises Alou, Carlos Delgado, Shawn Green, Carlos Beltran... oh man... my boys are overflowing with dudes who were either power hitters years ago or hit home runs for one or two years and then nothing.
And it didn't even get them into the playoffs in the sickeningly mediocre 2007 National League.
You want Carlos Delgado for a year? For God's sake, take him, give us Kotchman and Santana for him.
We'll even throw in Shawn Green. You can have Shawn Green either way, just for visiting the showroom. No, seriously, take the fuck*ng bum. I fuck*ng HATE YOU, SHAWN GREEN, PLAYING JUST WELL ENOUGH TO SQUASH LASTINGS MILLEDGE AND NEVER WELL ENOUGH TO WIN A GODDAMNED BALLGAME...
Anyway.
Seriously, man, I know the Angels thing is frustrating?
But the over-conservatism of Bill Stoneman > the poorly-thought-through splashiness of Omar Minaya.
And the best manager in the majors Mike Soscia >>>>> the worst manager in the majors Willie Randolph.
The kids and a light sprinkling of veterans the Angels have got them into the playoffs in the American League and they just happened to get half their position players injured in September while simultaneously going up against the buzzsaw that is Boston's starting pitching.
The Mets roster of former big-sticks and formerly-roiding entirely-incompetent middle relief managed to let the Phillies and the Rockies and the Padres into October ahead of them, somehow, in a manner I still can't get my mind around.
Take solace.
And, also, take Shawn Green. Please.
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Man, i think I have finished second or third in points the last 3 weeks, but can never get first.
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Man, i think I have finished second or third in points the last 3 weeks, but can never get first.
Yea I dont get it, your team is basically the best.
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Except for yours. The points don't lie. I just want to get first one week instead of losing to a revolving cast of people.
Also, you and I were basically 7 &8 in fantasy baseball all year, now you are 1 and I am 2. Pretty sweet I think.
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Ain't nothin' wrong with hatin' on the Yankees, no matter WHERE you do it.
If hatin' on the Yankees is wrong, goddamn it, I don't ever wanna be right.
And remember Ash:
At least they MADE the playoffs.
The Mets are the team that many Angel fans are lighting up the call-boards at the LA-OC sports-radio stations looking for... brimming and laden and over-fuck*ng-flowing with more Aging Powerhitters than you or I could swing that One Big Stick at.
Moises Alou, Carlos Delgado, Shawn Green, Carlos Beltran... oh man... my boys are overflowing with dudes who were either power hitters years ago or hit home runs for one or two years and then nothing.
And it didn't even get them into the playoffs in the sickeningly mediocre 2007 National League.
You want Carlos Delgado for a year? For God's sake, take him, give us Kotchman and Santana for him.
We'll even throw in Shawn Green. You can have Shawn Green either way, just for visiting the showroom. No, seriously, take the fuck*ng bum. I fuck*ng HATE YOU, SHAWN GREEN, PLAYING JUST WELL ENOUGH TO SQUASH LASTINGS MILLEDGE AND NEVER WELL ENOUGH TO WIN A GODDAMNED BALLGAME...
Anyway.
Seriously, man, I know the Angels thing is frustrating?
But the over-conservatism of Bill Stoneman > the poorly-thought-through splashiness of Omar Minaya.
And the best manager in the majors Mike Soscia >>>>> the worst manager in the majors Willie Randolph.
The kids and a light sprinkling of veterans the Angels have got them into the playoffs in the American League and they just happened to get half their position players injured in September while simultaneously going up against the buzzsaw that is Boston's starting pitching.
The Mets roster of former big-sticks and formerly-roiding entirely-incompetent middle relief managed to let the Phillies and the Rockies and the Padres into October ahead of them, somehow, in a manner I still can't get my mind around.
Take solace.
And, also, take Shawn Green. Please.
But... David Wright! Jose Reyes! And... hmm...
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Lets not forget that the "One Big Stick" mentality completely screwed up Reyes as a hitter from August on, when he started swinging like a powerhitter, started going Willie Mays Hayes on us and... was a .280 hitter by the end of the season.
While the two teams in the NLCS are the two youngest teams in the NL other than the Marlins and the Nationals who... y'know... just don't count for anything.
BOO on Omar Minaya.
BOO on Willie Randolph.
PLAY SOME GODDAMNED PLAYERS UNDER 35, ASSHOLES!
BOO!
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I have the same problem with my Mariners. They literally have the best player in all of baseball not to have a starting job sitting on their bench for the last two months of the season, and they don't goddamn play him.
"Suuuuure we could play Adam Jones in left with his great range and home run power, but we have Raul Ibanez with his veteran presence and charming interviews! Never mind his lack of range and rapidly declining bat speed, the man's a veteran! Adam Jones is practically still a teenager!"
Seriously, if there's one thing the NL has taught us with these playoffs, it's that veteran experience is bullshit.
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If Manny and Ortiz would have been this good the last two weeks of the regular season I could have won it. Oh well, at least it looks like the Red Sox got a decent chance to make the Series. (Still tied in the ninth, hopefully they can pull this out. Don't know how they look, watching Gamecast in the Library--at least Manny is hot.)
Edit: now two on for the Indians--great.
Also, this game needs to end so I can study. I am sooo close to going to watch it, and it has already ruined my rhythm.
Well, Gagne is pitching so.... be careful what you ask for.
Do I even have to tell you? I am sorry baseball gods, I am sorry. I will never put homework over baseball again. Just please don't let this effect game 3.
On a positive note, I realized I am not an agnostic.
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Gagne pretty much screwed the pooch, and the Tribe (MY Tribe) put 6 dents in the scoreboard. It's going to be interesting Monday if the starters don't perform deep into the game. The Indians beat the Yankees in large part, I think, due to the strength of the bullpen. I don't think the Sox bullpen is that weak.
The bugs helped, too. I doubt that will happen again either.
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Gagne suh-uuuuuuuuuhcks.
A whole lot of teams out there are really happy they didn't buy THAT lemon tree.
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Two wins! Two wins out of six games of pretend football!
I am bad but I am inching toward not being EMBARRASSINGLY bad!
Run-of-the-mill bad, here I come!
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I... I bought the real time stat track thing.
I don't know why I did but I did. It told me 92-75. Unless Toomer fumbles ten times tomorrow night...
And he's a Giant. That's possible.
Welker and Peterson went nutsoid, that's really the only reason a dude won. I'll admit that.
But oh yeah, fantasy sport does that to all of us, but especially in football.
At least in baseball, man, there's so so so many games that it pretty much evens out.
Seventeen weeks, seventeen chances to bench your one guy who goes nutsoid.
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My blitz long dynasty falls this week. Kudos to the tits and ziffels. Double Kudos to keith who probably takes the #1 spot this week. Well deserved.
Oh, and it looks like well all be watching the monday night football Giants game.
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If only to see whether Keith breaks 200 points.
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The interesting thing is that... starting as my quarterback is basically a curse to do jackshit.
Drew Brees, Philip Rivers, Jay Cutler... they all suck.
What I got is two good running backs, one good wide-receiver, one good tight end, two acceptable defenses and two acceptable kickers.
If I had a consistent QB, ever, I'd probably be respectable at this game.
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My secret to winning Fantasy Football so far is a) sleep through/ forget about draft b) get tom Brady and Randy Moss C) ?? ?? ?? ?? d) Profit.
Oh yeah, and don't watch football unless it is college or on at the bar while your watching baseball even though you kind of like one team.
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My secret to being mediocre at fantasy football is to a) also forget about the draft b) not get Tom Brady or Randy Moss c) play Halo 3 d) Not profit.
It also helps to not have a favorite team.
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My secret to being bad at fantasy football is to a) only be at the computer for half your draft picks b) have your first four picks be hurt/busts c) make sure your opponent has a fantastic day whenever your players have decent ones.
It helps to not have time to watch football, too.
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Through half time of game one I have 4 passing touchdowns and 2 receiving. Oh, yeah, that is just one team. God the Pats off week is going to kill me. I just hope they go undefeated so they don't sit the cats once they have home field in week 12.
Edit: Wait, no, that was right before half time. 5 passing touchdowns.
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Things I've learned from pretend football:
If Brady throws the ball to a guy, get that guy.
Giving up on Eli Manning early? Duuuuuuumb.
Not giving up on Drew Brees early? Duuuuuuuuumber.
And having young explosive running backs? Gooooooood.
EDIT: Also?
If I could figure out a decent third WR option and my kickers and defenses could play consistently at their potential, I would actually have a half-way decent imaginary football team at this point. If not sticking with Brees for so long, out of not knowing what the hell I was doing, I'd probably be right in the middle of the pack.
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Fuck the Red Sox.
Well, maybe not the Red Sox. The team is actually very well run. I have a huge amount of respect for Theo Epstein. It's the obnoxious fans I can't stand.
Fuck the Red Sox fans.
(Edit: If there's any good that can come of this win, it's this picture right here (http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/photo?slug=getty-77206334mh089_alcs_clevelan&prov=getty).)
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fuck yeah, Red Sox in the world series.
(this has concluded the only post I will make about sports, ever. I love the Red Sox because half of my family are from Boston and still live in Boston, and if I told my dad I didn't love the Red Sox... well, I don't know what would happen.)
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Stone Cold Jon Papelbon!
The braintrust behind the Red Sox are pretty much indestructably laudable, even if some of the fans are really strange and Curt Schilling's a loudmouth douchebag of the fifteenth power.
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Jeers Curt Schilling.
Cheers for the Red Sox (mainly Pedroia and Manny).
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It suddenly strikes me that, like, Rumjay might not be posting much right now because she's been doing awesome stuff related to the fact of her connections to the Red Sox.
I hope so. That would be kinda awesome.
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I... I think I won a fantasy football game. I keep looking at it to make sure my opponent doesn't have anyone going tonight, but I'm pretty sure that's it.
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I... I think I won a fantasy football game. I keep looking at it to make sure my opponent doesn't have anyone going tonight, but I'm pretty sure that's it.
I voted for your team on the strength of "no one can keep losing forever".
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I can win a second fantasy game, if the Jaguars defense scores 30 points. So I just have to hope Peyton Manning throws like 3 INTs for touchdowns... and gets sacked a bunch...
Yeah. Not happening.
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I'm in the lead right now but...
My opponent's two guys in the Monday night game are probably gonna score a LOT more than my two guys so...
We'll see.
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Aw man.
Week 7, the Bananas win AND I score the most points.
Cats and dogs, living together.
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Two fuck*ng points from most points on the week. Dammit.
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And now Ronnie Brown is out. Fuck.
Are we doing Basketball? I like basketball about as much as the NFL, so maybe I'll be good.
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I hope not. I'm already in two basketball leagues, and one of them features several statistical analysts from my work.
Plus, I don't think the NBA is held in very high regard 'round these parts.
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Plus, I don't think the NBA is held in very high regard 'round these parts.
That is what I was trying to get at. At the same time, Fantasy Sports are a good way to kill 10 minutes a day.
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I can't care about the NBA at all. Every game is either a blowout or comes down to a foul-shooting contest in the end and nothing matters at all until the second round of the playoffs. I mean, good Lord.
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Oh, there are plenty of close games. The biggest problem with the NBA is the fact that the season and the playoffs are too goddamned long. What this creates is not only stale basketball, but increased chance of injuries to star players and decreased parity because the longer the season, the more time the truly great teams have to weed out the lucky ones. The NBA loses a lot of what makes it interesting after, say, March.
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Apologies if I've pasted this before, but my proposal to fix the NBA is to replace existing games with best-of-five matches, consisting of 12-minute games. It would be like the fourth quarter over and over again.
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If the NBA would cut its playoff eligibility in half, man, I would suddenly care a lot more.
The only pro league that makes sense for a playoff field over eight is football... because they play so few games as per the once a week nature of the football.
You're playing eighty or so games in a league of thirty-ish teams? You don't need sixteen teams in the goddamned playoffs.
You can be pretty sure that team nine sucks way too much for the playoffs after eighty games. You just can.
Christ, I still stand by the idea that baseball should retract to twenty-four teams and four playoff spots.
Denver, Phoenix, Tampa and Miami should not have baseball teams... after that, there's three or four markets that theoretically could support major league baseball but just ain't cutting it. Pittsburgh, Kansas City, Minneapolis, Toronto... cut out two of them and you're set.
Expand the NFL to forty at the same time. They got the economic model to survive in Green Bay and Buffalo, for God's sake, might as well expand. Portland, Los Angeles, Las Vegas, San Antonio, Omaha, Oklahoma City, Toronto, Orlando, Birmingham... all of these towns could get 50,000 people to show up eight times a year.
The teevee money's so lucrative that that's really all you need otherwise. Will you be able to sell 400,000 overpriced tickets?
If so, congratulations, you're in the NFL.
Also: I'm now basically happy with my fantasy team except for my third WR. From where I drafted and from who got injured and from how no one wants to trade nothin', I've done the best I could at every position but there.
But man, I suck at that last spot. Get healthy, Marvin Harrison. SERIOUSLY.
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Expand the NFL to forty at the same time. They got the economic model to survive in Green Bay and Buffalo, for God's sake, might as well expand. Portland, Los Angeles, Las Vegas, San Antonio, Omaha, Oklahoma City, Toronto, Orlando, Birmingham... all of these towns could get 50,000 people to show up eight times a year.
The teevee money's so lucrative that that's really all you need otherwise. Will you be able to sell 400,000 overpriced tickets?
If so, congratulations, you're in the NFL.
Also: I'm now basically happy with my fantasy team except for my third WR. From where I drafted and from who got injured and from how no one wants to trade nothin', I've done the best I could at every position but there.
But man, I suck at that last spot. Get healthy, Marvin Harrison. SERIOUSLY.
I'm pretty sure that at least 5 of those cities had XFL teams. And LA has had its chance.
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Well, to be fair though, the XFL doesn't actually count as having a football team.
Nobody was taking that shit seriously, people were only attending or watching to see if it was gonna be a trainwreck.
When it turned out to basically be Arena-quality performances with explosions and titties, neither good football nor a spectacular disaster, everyone just... tuned out. But fast.
Also, any league where all the teams are owned by an umbrella company will never work. I don't know why.
Professional American team sports need individual ownerships for things to work out long term.
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Well, to be fair though, the XFL doesn't actually count as having a football team.
Nobody was taking that shit seriously, people were only attending or watching to see if it was gonna be a trainwreck.
When it turned out to basically be Arena-quality performances with explosions and titties, neither good football nor a spectacular disaster, everyone just... tuned out. But fast.
Also, any league where all the teams are owned by an umbrella company will never work. I don't know why.
Professional American team sports need individual ownerships for things to work out long term.
I wasn't suggesting the XFL was a real league, more that clearly there is a lot of agreement that those cities could support football teams.
And don't forget the same guy that brought us the XFL also decided to split his wrestling company into 3 supposedly separate entities all under the same ownership to create competition and excitement. It didn't work there, either.
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The splitting up of the WWF has worked in one and only one way.
There's a lot more titles to put on guys so that there's less guys backstage whining about how they don't have a fuckin' title.
If the goal had anything to do with storytelling or trying to create actual different "brands" to market with, it's so spectacular a failure that you'd think it had to be on purpose.
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The splitting up of the WWF has worked in one and only one way.
There's a lot more titles to put on guys so that there's less guys backstage whining about how they don't have a fuckin' title.
If the goal had anything to do with storytelling or trying to create actual different "brands" to market with, it's so spectacular a failure that you'd think it had to be on purpose.
For a while they did have distinct feels, with Raw being more about stories and larger than life characters and Smackdown caring more about engaging matches as well as actively targeting the latino demographic. But somebody there hates Paul Heymen and canned him (again) so that went out the window.
Paul is another guy like you were talking about in the other thread. He can write top-notch wrestling without even thinking about it but should never be running his own company. Unless you're OK with people's paychecks bouncing.
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From what I've heard, the best way to get fired on the creative side of the WWF is to distinguish yourself publicly as a creative force over someone with the last name MacMahon. They'd rather be In Charge and somewhat successful than Not Completely In Charge and wildly successful.
It's a lot like how the minute Guiliani's chief of police started getting more credit for cleaning up New York than Guiliani... he was fired and things got slightly worse again... but what mattered was that Rudy was the guy in charge.
There are few attitudes more fuckin' ridiculous than that mindset.
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From what I've heard, the best way to get fired on the creative side of the WWF is to distinguish yourself publicly as a creative force over someone with the last name MacMahon. They'd rather be In Charge and somewhat successful than Not Completely In Charge and wildly successful.
It's a lot like how the minute Guiliani's chief of police started getting more credit for cleaning up New York than Guiliani... he was fired and things got slightly worse again... but what mattered was that Rudy was the guy in charge.
There are few attitudes more fuckin' ridiculous than that mindset.
There's always Sony's legendary "not invented here" mindset. "Why would anybody want to use a portable mp3 player when they could have a genuine Sony Minidisc player? And who needs a camera with a universally accepted storage standard?"
Of course I am rooting for Bluray over HD-DVD, but just based on total disc capacity.
Actually, now that I think about Vince does this too. With the exception of Ric Flair all of WCW and ECW's successes are gone or altered beyond recognition. And he still refuses to have a War Games match, despite those basically being licenses to print money. He has to publicly bury the successes of others to show how inferior they are. He had to prove to us that Taz and Raven can't succeed when taken out of a small pond. Of course he proved it by purposely booking them in ways that hid their strengths and accentuated their weaknesses. And now he's driving ECW into the ground to tarnish its name and make people stop chanting for it.
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Birmingham is not a place to put a pro football team.
1) We have this horrible 80,000 seat stadium that was built way too long ago, but for some reason won't ever be replaced. No one likes going to it, so it is at best half full for anything that is not Alabama/Auburn football. It looks even emptier than it is on TV.
2) Speaking of Alabama/Auburn football, this is the only thing that has mattered, will matter, and will ever matter in the state. Sorry. See also: UAB, Troy.
3) Our apathy towards our pro teams rivals that of Atlanta "I'll think about going to a game if they make the second round of the playoffs" fans. Teams need a good five years or so of being decent before they will catch on.
4) A (modern) pro team requires investment from a set of large corporations willing to plaster their name across things. Birmingham only has two of those, one of which recently sued its CEO for fraud.
5) Birmingham is too fractured to use public money for anything useful. Birmingham's suburbs out-populate the city itself by a margin of about 5 to 1, and the suburbs would not contribute to the infrastructure upgrades necessary for a pro team.
6) The Birmingham Vulcans (Dixie Professional Football League), The Birmingham Americans (World Football League), The Birmingham Vulcans (World Football League), The Alabama Vulcans (American Football Association), The Alabama Magic (American Football Association), The Birmingham Stallions (United States Football League), The Birmingham Fire (World League of American Football), The Birmingham Barracudas (Canadian Football League), The Birmingham Thunderbolts (XFL). They all played in Legion Field, and their leagues all died (Source (http://www.birminghamprosports.com/)).
I want the NFL to live. Expanding to Birmingham and markets like it (Remember when the Oilers played in Memphis?) would kill it, or at least seriously wound it. There is another league (http://www.al.com/birminghamnews/stories/index.ssf?/base/sports/1188722096211350.xml&coll=2) trying to form and place a team in Birmingham, the All American Football League. It will fail. Is it because of Birmingham uniquely? I doubt it, but I'd rather not take the chance.
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I took part in my very first live draft yesterday for the NBA league I'm in at work. Looking at it this morning, I almost feel hung over. I took so many young players purely on the amount of promise and potential they have. Foye, Bargnani, Aldridge... I was positively giddy when I nabbed them during the draft, but now? Reality has struck hard. Not a single one of these guys had a great rookie year last season, and I'm counting on them to provide a huge chunk of my team's points. Oh, well. At least I got Dirk with my first pick.
It's a very strange feeling knowing that I'm 100% responsible for the makeup of my team's roster. But it's also pretty exciting. Now I kinda wish I hadn't slept through our NFL draft.
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And so at 58 pages the mighty Pretend Sports thread appears to have lost its steam. We had a good ride!
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I'm trying to decide whether my team is mismanaged or undertalented.
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I'm trying to decide whether my team is mismanaged or undertalented.
In football? Mine is the former because of the latter.
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I definitely have had a good roster of players at points in the season.
My drafting and waiver-pick-ups isn't really my problem.
My problem has been in picking which players to use which week and when to drop dudes who are clearly injured or sucking this year.
My problem's all in the execution.
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I, for one, am glad that link goes to the article - and not a .jpg hosted on an offshore server.
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Anyone wanna make a reasonable offer of a front-line wide receiver for the service of Phil Rivers?
He is being constantly injured like a whiny little whore and Philip Rivers might be of genuine use to one or two of you party people... whereas I only have two legitimate WRs on my roster.
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Well, it does help when one of your running backs sets the all-time single-game rushing yardage record.
It does help.
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Yeah, I had the joy of watching him in college. He is good.
Unless Brady and Moss come up huge, The Chemicals will lose.
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Unless Brady and Moss come up huge, The Chemicals will lose.
That is KILLING me. I hate the Colts. Hate hate hate them. But I can't have Brady and Moss reaching out and touching each other, and Vinatieri is on my team besides. What I wanted is the Patriots to win 15-12; that's not happening.
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That is KILLING me. I hate the Colts. Hate hate hate them. But I can't have Brady and Moss reaching out and touching each other, and Vinatieri is on my team besides. What I wanted is the Patriots to win 15-12; that's not happening.
The colts were paying double money this afternoon so I took some action. For some reason I think the officials have action on the colts, too. (141 yards in penalties? Thats some nice officiating)
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With Cutler now also injured, my team is officially A Mess... even though my running backs decided to play Completely Insane today and make things look good for Week 9, upcoming times are lookin' strange indeed.
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I... I am not meaning to bump this thread or nothin' but I just wanted to re-assert...
I have decent back-ups at TE, DEF and QB and am lookin' for a better option at my third WR.
Y'know. Just sayin'.
The time of trades will soon be done and all that.
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I... I am not meaning to bump this thread or nothin' but I just wanted to re-assert...
I have decent back-ups at TE, DEF and QB and am lookin' for a better option at my third WR.
Y'know. Just sayin'.
The time of trades will soon be done and all that.
which team are you?
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Trade proposed.
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Done and done!
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I started the season in last or next-to-last in all three of the leagues I'm participating in this year, and now I feel like I've cobbled together teams just good enough to claw my way into the playoffs so I can get clobbered in the first round by the #1 seeds.
Who is it that really wants me to take Romo off their hands? I'm pretty happy with Manning on my team, as I assume there are going to be no unimportant games down the stretch for the Colts.
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I just realized something truly hilarious. I've been playing the wrong Adrian Peterson...
all
year
long.
Mine is the shitty Bears backup, not the rookie phenom on the Vikings. Oh holy shit. This is so fuck*ng pathetic it's awesome.
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Priceless. I was confused hearing about the Vikings guy, as I follow neither team all that closely. When I saw the Bears play earlier this season I was thinking he must be having a bad day. There's also another Alex Smith in the league, but its harder to confuse them.
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It doesn't help that I've been taking a severe laissez-faire approach to my team. Can we just blame it on that instead of my crippling ignorance?
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I started the season in last or next-to-last in all three of the leagues I'm participating in this year, and now I feel like I've cobbled together teams just good enough to claw my way into the playoffs so I can get clobbered in the first round by the #1 seeds.
Who is it that really wants me to take Romo off their hands? I'm pretty happy with Manning on my team, as I assume there are going to be no unimportant games down the stretch for the Colts.
Dude just take Romo already, hes golden. Its a fair trade dammit
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I have like no RB or TE is anyone wants a trade. Moss and Brady are untouchable, but beyond that...
(I am the happy chemicals.)
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So... who's got Peyton Manning? Yikes.
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Yeah, here's the thing.
As a person who grew up a Buffalo Bills fan, I suppose I'm supposed to hate the Patriots?
But... man oh Manchester... as a twenty-first century American secular humanist, I hate the fuckin' shit complete and total shit out of Tony Dungee. Fuckin' gay-hatin' fundamentalist Christian douchehole. Enjoy the shit out of THAT bad aftertaste, Thumpy McShitface.
Billy B out in Boston may be a cheatin' gutless overcompetitive dick-cheese but... yeah.
I'll take the secular cheater over the delusional Bible dick any goddamned day.
Nixon over George W any goddamned day.
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Dang Keith, your team got PWNED. Your QB actually lost you points. That takes mad skillz.
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So... who's got Peyton Manning? Yikes.
That would be me. Worried early, but he finally pulled it together enough to get me the win. (Enough to get the Colts the win as well, apparently, minus a bad kick.)
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Yeah, Manning saved himself in my eyes. Started horribly, but the guy essentially came back to give his team the lead with a minute and a half left, only to see Adam V blow it for him.
If there's ever a guy to prove that reputations built upon playoff heroics are almost always bullshit, it's Viniatierri.
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NY- Brady and Moss have been my team from day one, and it was their bye. Just got to root for them to go undefeated so I don't get fucked in the playoffs.
LFM- Great, and correct, analogy.
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At last, the losing streak is ended. Naturally, it mostly was due to the ineptitude of my favourite '49ers.
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At last, the losing streak is ended. Naturally, it mostly was due to the ineptitude of my favourite '49ers.
My continued success in the league will depend on the performance of the Cowboys' defense and T.O. They play my Redskins this week, though. That's gonna be hard to handle. I want to win this week, but I will gladly take a loss if it means the Skins take the Boys down.
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Annnnd just as I finally shore up my WR slots, Adrian Peterson tears an ACL! Yay!
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So apparently A-Rod has "side-stepped" Scott Boras, and is on the verge of signing a 10yr/$275m contract. Holy fuck?
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I think what happened here is that this was the plan from the beginning...
Boras playing the bad cop, allowing A-Rod to play the good cop... and get more money out of the Yankees while still staying a Yankee.
And even if Boras wasn't directly involved in the negotiations, he's still gotta dot the is and cross the ts and get his percentage so why the fuck would he care if he gets the credit or not?
Boras is still getting a chunk of 27 million for the next 10 years instead of 25 million for the next two or three and... that's all that matters.
If that deal gets signed, it's all the more proof that Scott Boras is an evil fuck*ng genius.
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Boras is evil, in that, he has his own team of coaches that teach the young players under his umbrella... sometimes in a completely different manner than the teams' coaches do... and it REALLY fucks 'em up.
Tries to make his players the most marketable players they can be in the short-term as opposed to the best players they can be over their careers and so on.
A lot of pitchers have been fucked up by that dude's representation.
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First Half: Tom Brady- 4 Touchdown passes, Randy Moss- 4 Touchdown catches. Told you that was my team, A-CAP.
Edit: To prove the point further; my two starting RBs:
The Associated Press reports Atlanta Falcons RB Warrick Dunn rushed for 32 yards on 15 carries in the team's Week 11 game.
The Associated Press reports San Francisco 49ers RB Frank Gore rushed for 32 yards on 15 carries in the team's Week 11 game.
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I woke up late today (No work!) and the games had already started. I fretted a little about having not set my fantasy roster, but then I realized that it didn't matter any more. There is no redemption to be had.
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We've got a meaningful Monday night game. I am down two to Barksdale, but have LenDale White active tonight. Hopefully he can avoid early injury or game-long sucking.
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<sigh> Clearly my plan to pick up players I hate worked. TO lit it up for FORTY-ONE points for me yesterday.
Of course, he did it against my team.
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My plan to have the best running back and then also one of the top five running backs in the league and then have them both get horribly injured isn't working so well.
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Whoever I beat this week: What the hell, you did not deserve that fate.
I'm still kind of reeling from it to tell you the truth. I thought I'd played my hand to perfection, but then Ben Watson ends up being healthy and scoring a touchdown. I had started Vernon Davis on the theory that the Niners couldn't possibly underutilize him two weeks in a row - which was true - but Ben had the better day.
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So apparently A-Rod has "side-stepped" Scott Boras, and is on the verge of signing a 10yr/$275m contract. Holy fuck?
Yea man, evidently Warren Buffet is like some kind of 1-800-help-line for zillionaires.
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You know your fantasy team sucks when your bench pretend kicker scores a bunch of points and you're already convinced that you're going to lose, because you chose the wrong pretend kicker.
The KICKER, for God's friggin'.
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I don't even know who my kicker is.
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By the way:
Universe? Hi, it's Mike.
I'd like baseball back now. Thanks.
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Me too. I don't know shit about the NFL, so naturally, my team sucks. And despite the fact that I know/care more about the NBA than 99% of the other white dudes in America, my fantasy basketball team still sucks. But baseball? Man, there's a fantasy sport I'm actually good at.
As evidenced by, well, you know...
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Somehow, I still got a chance of winning this week, even though I royally ROYALLY boned myself in terms of kicking and defense choices which... amazes me. I still might get to .500 which... is really my only goal at this point.
Getting up to the six playoff spots is probably unrealistic at this point, too many people ahead of me.
Might get Adrian Peterson back next week, though. That doesn't suck.
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No, you should get the last playoff spot and beat me in the first week, for justice. (assuming I get first, which I probably won't)
Actually yeah, I will get 2nd or third so you need 6th or7th I guess
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Congratulations, whoever took the under in the Miami-Pittsburgh game.
You are officially rich.
Also, I think I somehow TIED this week. Oh man, if only I had competently used my kicker or my D.
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I take solace in the fact that the only scoring done in that game was by someone on my fantasy team.
But solace doesn't give me a consistently decent receiver.
Maybe next year I'll pay attention before the draft?
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Loved the punt that just went flut into the ground, no bounce.
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Loved the punt that just went flut into the ground, no bounce.
dude that was priceless.... well not really, it made me like a hundred bucks.
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Wasn't that great? The ball looked like it was stuck halfway into the mud.
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Yeah, that was a full-on lawn dart out there.
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A) Sean Taylor dies. WTF!?! You just don't expect that shit to happen to these dudes.
Plenty of print on that here in the DC area, as you might expect. Somewhat surprisingly, Michael Wilbon (of "PTI" fame) wrote in a chat session yesterday something to the effect of "I'm not surprised, the guy's a thug, always been a thug." Of course, this was after he was shot but before he died; Wilbon might wish he could take that back now.
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All day I thought they were talked about Sean Spraig (sp?) just because he's on the only Redskins player I know named Sean. Assuming he still plays for them/at all.
On WTOP I did hear one person being interviewed say, basically, we can't say anything negative about how he acted in the past because he's dead now.
I kind of wish they'd break from this story for 45 seconds or so to cover any other news happening today.
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I've played a few in that kind of weather and let me tell you that being face down at the bottom of a pile will really stress out how long you can hold your breath.
You must have played line. Our coach was always yelling at the D-linemen to "root in that mud like the hogs you are!" You don't see much 4-point stance play in college or pros.
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Sooo.... how long 'til baseball season?
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Too frickin' long.
BTW, I got assigned seats in section 409 of the Nationals' new ballpark (http://washington.nationals.mlb.com/was/fan_forum/seats_3d.jsp), which was my first choice. So yay that.
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So, the BCS still sucks. Read somewhere that this year, the old system would have actually given us more answers. Got to agree with that.
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A two-loss LSU team in the Big Game For The Glass Football, huh?
Okay, seriously. Eight game playoff. Lets get on this.
The seven biggest bowl games become the playoff structure, rotating through their significance every year, every other consolation bowl gets to be what they always were... nationally televised afterthoughts. Round one, Christmas weekend. Round two, New Years weekend. Round three, next week after.
Same amount of "school missed" if you wanna be Pollyanna about it, the bowls will still all be well attended because the schools could "travel" their people the quarter finals and then rounds 2 and 3... come on, they're the national semi-finals and finals.
Six big conference winners and two wild cards, the best two teams after those others.
Easy-peasy-Japanesey. Lets get on this.
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Yeah, this pisses me off. I was rootin' for WVU and Mizzou, mainly because no one would watch and until no one watches, this bullshit will continue to make money. OSU and LSU really deserve to be there about as much as... well, anyone else does this year. The big hope is that they stink it up with a 7-3 performance and Virginia Tech (and as a Virginia fan, this hurts) lights it up for 60 points and makes it a controversy.
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Alright, most of the major conferences are or can easily be 12 teams (big ten adds notre dame, pac ten adds Boise St, Hawai'i, etc) then do them like the Big 12 and SEC do their conference tournaments. The conferences included being ACC, Big East, Big 12, Big 10, Pac 10 and SEC. THEN, add two teams. If any are undefeated in a non major conference they get an automatic bid. Or, maybe make two other conferences out of the best of CUSA, Mountain West, etc, and just let their conference champs in with no non-champs in the tournament.
Also, golfhaus, you could, as a Virginia fan, hope the same happens for Hawaii, Georgia or OU. I hope Hawai'i destroys Georgia, I think that would be the most controversy.
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Oh, by the by... I have been banging my head against a wall since the moment the Mets traded Lastings Milledge for a fourth outfielder and a defensive catcher from the Washington Nationals.
I feel the rage that I've stopped letting myself feel over The World Situation so that I don't go crazy and I'm basically doing it for the sake of a baseball trade.
I mean... you throw out one of the best outfield prospects in the league for a ham sandwich and a bag of magic beans, just because he's a little cocky? I mean FUCK. FUCK FUCK FUCK.
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Oh, by the by... I have been banging my head against a wall since the moment the Mets traded Lastings Milledge for a fourth outfielder and a defensive catcher from the Washington Nationals.
Ha ha haaaaa. Let's go Nats.
Today, the Nats acquired Elijah Dukes, a talented yet psycho outfielder from the Devil Rays. The guy who cell phone-e-mailed a picture of a gun to his ex-girlfriend/ex-wife/some woman. NICE. Outfield is getting kind of crowded. And mental.
As for Lastings, check the wiki entry for a 'splanation: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lastings_Milledge
I suspect LFM will have more details.
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While he was injured this spring, he produced a rap album with some cursing on it.
When he was seventeen, he was having consensual sex with a fifteen-year-old girl of Caucasian descent and the father tried to nail him for bread over it when he found out the dude was signing a deal with a major league ballclub, to try to soak him for part of his signing bonus.
Had one or two situations where he got into heated arguements over balls and strikes with an ump in '07.
Had a situation where he high-fived some fans running out to his position after hitting a big home-run in the bottom of the inning in '06.
LoDuca and Wagner hated him because he was a cocky young African-American in a locker room of whites and Latinos where Wagner and LoDuca thought that they got to be the firey guys, they left threatening notes in his locker and so on.
Green, Floyd, Alou and Delgado hated him because they were all friends and he really deserved the outfield corner position over Floyd or Green from about half-way into '06 and on, was threatening their buddies' playing time.
A whole lot of old players protecting their buddies from the rookie horning in on their time, a whole lot of the NYC press being overreactive assholes trying to make up headlines... and just a little bit of racism against a young black player who wasn't showing the stoic grace of an Aaron or a Robinson and was rather loud and confident about being good.
He does need to be a little more cool-headed when he gets stuck with a bad call... but that'll come with time and being a team leader.
Dude'll give you .300 30/30 and just-below-Gold-Glove defense if he's allowed to take a position and run with it and if he stays healthy.
He's exactly the best kind of young positional player and exactly the kind of player that an old-thinking douchebag like Randolph and a no-patience lets-sign-an-aging-star all-flash-no-substance guy like Minaya have no idea how to deal with.
Blah. BLAH!
The Nats got the steal of the 21st century.
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Schneider seems like a real stand-up guy, he plays good defense and handles a pitching staff well. However, he hasn't hit much the past two seasons. Church has been kind of jerked around by the team for three years (Frank Robinson didn't like him, said he wasn't tough enough), and I suspect given a full-time gig he might actually flourish. So I'm a little bit sad to see both guys go.
But yeah, I think Trader Jim Bowdon got one over on the Mets here.
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Schneider hits like a second pitcher, hell, El Duque and Ollie Perez might both out-hit him for average in equal ABs. It's one thing to accept a great defensive catcher only hitting .250-.260 with occasional pop. It's another thing to accept an above-average defensive catcher who hits .230 with no pop.
Church's problem is that he can't hit left-handers to save his life. If myself and every other left-handed male in the world dropped dead tomorrow, yeah, Church would be a solid-if-not-amazing corner outfielder. But stick any lefty in there and he looks, at the plate, a good fuck*ng deal like Al Goddamned Leiter.
Either would be very nice bench pieces, very nice 24th and 25th men on the roster... Church in a platoon or as a fourth outfielder/left-handed pinch-hitter and Schneider as a late-inning defensive-replacement/back-up catcher...
Together, the two of them don't quite even equal one of Lastings Milledge in 2008... and they don't equal one half of Milledge in 2009.
Y'all boned us, carlos, don't you worry about that none. Boned hard.
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Yeah, I saw that. Horrible trade.
Didn't see they also got Dukes. That is a damn fine outfield if they stay sane. (well2/3 of an outfield)
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I've had a soft spot for Lastings Milledge ever since he hit for the cycle in a World Series game in a computer simulation I was running, and he's also indirectly responsible for Julio Franco going back to Atlanta (which wasn't a huge coup or anything, but that's really where he belongs). I'm glad I can root for him to get the break he deserves now without making things more difficult for the Braves. Sure, he's still in the same division, but since he's on a team that has yet to crack .500 it doesn't matter as much anymore. My condolences to LFM, though.
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Between Vlady's back, Anderson's premature-oldness and Matthew's... uhm... vulnerability to the upcoming Mitchell report, Hunter makes some sense but... not as much as the Angels PR team wanted to make it sound, sure.
Cycle them through the OF and the DH, though, and it could time-out lucky to keep Vlad and Anderson fresh.
That's a best case scenario but it's possible.
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You're over-selling Lastings, but your point remains a solid one: Omar Minaya is not very good.
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I'll admit, I'm playing toward the ceiling of Milledge's potential, yes.
But it's still his potential.
The players he was traded have proven where they topped out at.
Solid back-ups, journeyman millionaires, rich off their polite mediocrity.
Who knows what he could have been, still could be?
Or, perhaps, I just identify with prodigies who've been kicked to ground for not paying off immediately and for being loud-mouthed and over-enthusiastic while they were not immediately paying off.
Perhaps I grew up, too, in orange black and blue. Forty-four being the number of Syracuse Orangemen, the number of Mark Twain's Mysterious Stranger and the number he wore on his back when he was in Queens, when they could've been kings.
Y'know. Just perhaps.
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Man, fuck Tom Brady. Fuck that guy right in his ear.
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Have I mentioned that Bill Belichick is a Sith Lord here yet?
Because he is.
He's usually better at hiding it, though.
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How much must the Baltimore D hate Billick now?
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Quite a lot, actually. Before the Patriots game there was apparently a lot of sniping in the press how the offense wasn't carrying its load. After the game, when asked about the stupid 4th-down timeout (called by the defensive coordinator, actually), and the defensive guys were just like "That's something the coaches did. I can't say anything about it."
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Well, here it is... last week of the fantasy regular season... six teams competing for two more spots in the playoffs. Lots going on over there.
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Did I somehow fluke into the 6-seed with a record of 6-7-1... or did I do my math wrong?
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Did I somehow fluke into the 6-seed with a record of 6-7-1... or did I do my math wrong?
You suck.
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You suck.
Did someone pee in your cereal this morning or something?
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Did someone pee in your cereal this morning or something?
Shaddup you.
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Hey, I ain't braggadoshin'. I'm seriously surprised.
I really sucked at first and if I somehow squeaked into the playoffs at the end... with a hair below .500 record no less... I'm more surprised than proud.
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I suppose this means Just Vince Young misses the playoffs by a hair. Not bad considering I made one move all season, and that was to pick up the wrong Adrian Peterson.
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Hey, I ain't braggadoshin'. I'm seriously surprised.
I know. Just venting.
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He should be a well rounded criminal by then. All kinds of networking should be available to him.
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All those sweet moves of his will do him well as he tries to avoid becoming someone's bitch.
He hasn't even really started his sentence yet and they're already talking about what team he'll end up with when he gets out. I'd like to think his NFL career is over, but I'm jaded enough to know that's not the case.
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His NFL career is over, but that's hardly the case for his football career in general. The dude has never been a good passer. Add to that 3 years worth of age and rust (I think he gets suspended a year after release) and a whole lot of media hoopla, and the dude will be a leper.
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...but his brief career in the Arena League or the CFL after he gets out will be hilarious.
We have to look at the bright side of things like these.
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My team took the six-seed despite being, like, eighth in points.
I can look at my season and see two almost-wins and yet have twice as many almost-loses.
I somehow backed into contention at the end.
Ladies and gentlemen, I AM the Buffalo Bills.
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See, I dunno. Ricky Williams has been seriously pissing off the League for years, basically telling them "I'd really rather smoke weed than be in your club," but when the time came there was a team that wanted him.
If they could get away with it, the Dolphins would hire him to be their quarterback NOW. Get him a work-release thing and drag him out 7am-7pm.
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This just in:
Bobby Petrino is a colossal asshole.
Details at 11:00.
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The only reason he was there was to work with Vick, so why stay?
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The only reason he was there was to work with Vick, so why stay?
He was there to coach a team, not just one player.
But even if that was the case, he's a crap dude because he
a) quit with 3 weeks left in the season -- what would it have hurt to wait?
b) flat out lied to the owner. Even if it isn't an uncommon thing for coaches to do, it's still crappy.
Also, he did the exact same thing to Louisville a year ago, so maybe we're a little sensitive to it around here.
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So, Miguel Tejada. Is it possible for two teams to lose in a trade? Because I'm pretty sure that's what happened here. The Astros, who suck, just acquired a declining 31 year old shortstop who used to be great, but just plain isn't any more. In return, the Orioles dumped some some salary, but only acquired mediocre-at-best prospects. Nice.
Houston and Baltimore: two examples of how not to run a baseball team.
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And now the Giants have handed out a 5 year, 60 million dollar contract to Aaron Rowand. A guy who's had 2 good seasons at the plate despite playing all his home games in a bandbox his entire career. At least he's pretty good in center, but... at 35 when that contract expires and he's broken every bone in his body from smashing into walls? I dunno...
(And yes... I am LFM today...)
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Pretty much, the most ridiculous off-season ever.
Everyone is just pulling idiot move after idiot move.
This off-season, the winners will be the teams who re-signed their youngish players and otherwise did nothing.
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But even if that was the case, he's a crap dude because he
a) quit with 3 weeks left in the season -- what would it have hurt to wait?
Yes - he was heading back to the college game, and if you're looking for a college coaching job, the time to be available is NOW. Three weeks from now might be too late.
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Three weeks from now might be too late.
...to be a terrible human being.
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Mitchell Report tomorrow!
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Yes - he was heading back to the college game, and if you're looking for a college coaching job, the time to be available is NOW. Three weeks from now might be too late.
Too late to make the deal? Maybe, although I'm not sure I buy that.
Too late to make the deal public? Absolutely not.
Hunts move, pure and simple.
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Too late to make the deal? Maybe, although I'm not sure I buy that.
Too late to make the deal public? Absolutely not.
Hunts move, pure and simple.
I don't know, I mean, you are right. But also, that is the way coaching football works now. Info would have been leaked anyhow, just making it worse. The Falcons now have more time to get a coach and they may get a higher pick in the draft. everyone wins.
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People weren't exactly jumping for the Ar-kansas job, y'know.
The Michigan job, either.
He could've lined something up and waited three weeks to sign on the dotted line.
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Don't make me do cocaine at you two!
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Deadspin has an admittedly questionable list right here: http://deadspin.com/sports/is-this-the-list%3F/is-this-the-list-of-players-mentioned-333479.php
It's fun just to look at until the real list arrives. There's no active Mariners on that list, and the former ones are total douchebags like Bret Boone and Ryan Franklin, so I'm not really affected by any of it. Well, except Albert Pujols. I was really hoping he wouldn't make it on any list shown today.
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See, coming from the direction I come from as a baseball fan, you could tell me that Clemens ate babies whole... dislodged his jaw and ate them in one bite... to gain his power and I'd be all such as:
"Yeah, duh, I've been saying that for years."
He's just kind of... everything I was raised to distrust and dislike.
Big brash mean powerful arrogant half-cowboy-chauvanist half-Manhattan-slickster.
I was raised rust-belt blue-collar lefty, you know.
My sports heroes are Mookie Wilsons, y'know, not physically impressive guys who get by on guts and luck and hard work and... Mick Foleys, y'know, big beat-up basketcases that get by on smarts and the love.
Juice-fueled twangy arrogance engines... yep, that's pretty much what I was put on this world to cancel out, to balance out against.
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On the one hand, as a Mets fan, I am glad to see that... basically half the pitching staff of the 2000 World Series Yankees were named.
On the other hand, had this report gone through a different dealer, I'm sure it would'a gone the other way.
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Maybe its just my natural libertarian tendencies, but wouldn't it be safer and easier to allow controlled steroid use? I feel like it is ridiculous to fight the tide on this one, and that it would be safer to get doctors involved. The current system rewards those who find ways to break laws and cheat the system. Why cant the system adapt to level the playing field?
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In theory, I'm with you, Ennewhy but...
In practice, doing that would ruin the mom and apple pie image they're shooting for, you know? So much of the marketing push for major league baseball is... tradition and... you watched with your dad, watch with your kid and... the continuity of the big-number records... and all of that good legislated nostalgia hossshit and...
To admit that it's a chemical sport and that the only way to level the field is decriminalizing and controlling it... a bit like Reno prostitution... would be to throw all that nostalgia crap out the window, even if it'd be the logical way to go.
Not to mention the whole "you're just encouraging high school and college kids to take steroids, then!" can of worms to be opened right the fuck up and... the media would crucify the fuck out of them over that, forever and ever amen, even if it wasn't fair.
The ridiculous idea that professional athletes should somehow be role models for children will forever destroy reasonable proposals such as yours.
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I got to agree with LFM in the Clemens regard, but also, I was most happy to see Pettite. Always hated that guy.
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I mean, once it is OK to do steroids in the MLB, all the players will have to do them. That just fucks everything up, in my opinion. You shouldn't have to do drugs to play baseball, you know?
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This report was kind of disappointing, though I haven't read it. The names were weak though, and if it tells me that baseball knew about it, well, I already knew that.
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Oh Jay Cutler... you can't lead a real team, but you're always above-average in fantasy points.
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Three equal running backs, one listed by his coach as questionable for Sunday, one touted (but unproven) playing on Thursday.
I chose the latter, who earned a whopping three points when he was projected for ten. This means the other guy will not only play on Sunday, but score thrice.
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I'm in a similar situation... I got in theory two of the best young RBs in football and a very above-average one with Green Bay as well...
And I just have the weird feeling that whichever one of the two good young RBs I don't choose (as per nagging injuries) will have a monster day and mine will tank.
The playoffs seem to be a strangely different world.
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And of course, it makes sense that the one week where the weather might conspire to render the Brady-Moss tandem ineffective... The Chemicals have a bye.
That's destiny, right there.
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I am starting a rumor about Bobby Petrino talking to Michigan about their current coaching vacancy.
It seems pretty plausible.
Also: I apologize for being bad at pretend football this year.
Also also: I really hope that "not named in the Mitchell Report" doesn't equal "didn't do steroids" in the eyes of the public. That would be stupider than the DH.
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Wait, how will that make the game more exciting and ensure the best players are on the field?
/I don't know if it made sense, but end DH non-bashing.
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I... can't think of something stupider than the DH, though.
Like... for every home run, a fan is randomly taken out of the crowd and executed?
Umpires smashing a watermelon with a sledgehammer to connotate a strikeout?
Adding "God Bless America" to the seventh-inning stretch out of some kind of retarded post-war ridiculousness... oh... wait... uhm...
Okay, THAT was nearly equal in stupidity to the DH.
"A random player who pinch-hits every time for the pitcher without ever going out into the field and the pitcher gets to keep playing and you don't have to cycle through them. Just one old player who can no longer do anything other than hit occasional homeruns shambling around the clubhouse and trotted out like a fuck*ng circus bear once a batting order... and even better, it will fuck up all the managerial strategizing that makes baseball such an awesome chess game so that the drooling goobers in the stands can get a few more dingers! Everybody wins!"
I'll allow steroids legally in the game if we trade the DH for it, just have me sign the paper.
It's less of a perversion of the game than the goddamned DH, I'll tell you that much.
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I am starting a rumor about Bobby Petrino talking to Michigan about their current coaching vacancy.
It seems pretty plausible.
Oh, I'm so in.
Also, here's a tiny can for you.
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I... can't think of something stupider than the DH, though.
Like... for every home run, a fan is randomly taken out of the crowd and executed?
Umpires smashing a watermelon with a sledgehammer to connotate a strikeout?
Adding "God Bless America" to the seventh-inning stretch out of some kind of retarded post-war ridiculousness... oh... wait... uhm...
Okay, THAT was nearly equal in stupidity to the DH.
"A random player who pinch-hits every time for the pitcher without ever going out into the field and the pitcher gets to keep playing and you don't have to cycle through them. Just one old player who can no longer do anything other than hit occasional homeruns shambling around the clubhouse and trotted out like a fuck*ng circus bear once a batting order... and even better, it will fuck up all the managerial strategizing that makes baseball such an awesome chess game so that the drooling goobers in the stands can get a few more dingers! Everybody wins!"
I'll allow steroids legally in the game if we trade the DH for it, just have me sign the paper.
It's less of a perversion of the game than the goddamned DH, I'll tell you that much.
I think we've had this argument before. As an NL fan, you're accustomed to things like pitchers bunting or striking out looking, which is great. As an AL fan, I much prefer being able to watch someone who can actually hit the ball and knowing guys like David Ortiz and Edgar Martinez will be able to have careers.
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But... but... David Ortiz SHOULDN'T have a career.
He can't even field at first base, the easiest defensive position in the game!
Catch the ball if it is thrown directly at you, hold the runner, make half-an-attempt to catch the ball if it is HIT at you. That's... that's about it.
Part of the wonderful challenge of baseball is that everyone plays offense and defense and... if you can hit dingers all day, that's fine, but you've also gotta be minimally proficient at defense... and vicey-versy.
That's part of the fun of the game of base... you have to be at least somewhat rounded as an athlete because there is none of the ridiculous specialization of football, soccer, hockey, etc.
And... lets flip it around... how fuck*ng awesome is it when you've got a pitcher who goes the extra mile, works on his hitting and... can spray .250 wortha singles and be equally effective as a hitter to a defensive catcher or shortstop?
Isn't it rad? Like "uh-oh, no automatic out for you, this guy can hack a little".
It's pretty much the only thing interesting about Dontrelle Willis now, for example, now that everyone figured out his weird timing thing and he's mediocre like he should be. And of course, with that, he's traded to the Tigers.
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A good-hitting pitcher is awesome in the same way a bear who can play guitar is awesome -- because they're so fuck*ng rare. For every one Micah Owings there's a hundred Ezequiel Astacios who couldn't hit a baseball with a tennis racket. If I'm given the choice between watching pitchers go through the motions of hitting while natural DHs embarrass themselves at first (Hi, Prince Fielder!) over being able to see someone like Edgar Martinez who's had knee injuries rob him of the ability to move laterally but not affect his sublime hitting, I'll take the latter every time.
Baseball is a beautiful game, but not all that beauty comes from tradition.
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But... but... David Ortiz SHOULDN'T have a career.
He can't even field at first base, the easiest defensive position in the game!
Catch the ball if it is thrown directly at you, hold the runner, make half-an-attempt to catch the ball if it is HIT at you. That's... that's about it.
Part of the wonderful challenge of baseball is that everyone plays offense and defense and... if you can hit dingers all day, that's fine, but you've also gotta be minimally proficient at defense... and vicey-versy.
That's part of the fun of the game of base... you have to be at least somewhat rounded as an athlete because there is none of the ridiculous specialization of football, soccer, hockey, etc.
And... lets flip it around... how fuck*ng awesome is it when you've got a pitcher who goes the extra mile, works on his hitting and... can spray .250 wortha singles and be equally effective as a hitter to a defensive catcher or shortstop?
Isn't it rad? Like "uh-oh, no automatic out for you, this guy can hack a little".
It's pretty much the only thing interesting about Dontrelle Willis now, for example, now that everyone figured out his weird timing thing and he's mediocre like he should be. And of course, with that, he's traded to the Tigers.
OK, except for Soccer. The great thing about soccer in the first place is that it's accessible to people because of minimal equipment requirements (all you really need is a ball and feet; you can be on the Steppes of Mongolia or the streets of Tashkent and still play). And it's great for kids of all ages to get introduced to a team sport because, basically, you run and kick. Way more kids can pick up and play soccer than baseball because baseball requires more harder-to-teach skills and more equipment.
I love baseball, but soccer has universality.
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OK, except for Soccer. The great thing about soccer in the first place is that it's accessible to people because of minimal equipment requirements (all you really need is a ball and feet; you can be on the Steppes of Mongolia or the streets of Tashkent and still play). And it's great for kids of all ages to get introduced to a team sport because, basically, you run and kick. Way more kids can pick up and play soccer than baseball because baseball requires more harder-to-teach skills and more equipment.
I love baseball, but soccer has universality.
I think what he means is that in soccer, you have specialty players. Your goalkeeper doesn't have to have the ability to run all the way from one side of the field to the other - he just has to be able to move within his little box. Indeed, unless your team is practicing Total Football, much of your team can really keep themselves within 1/3 of the field. I get into soccer from time to time, usually during World Cups... it's just hard to find it on TV half the time here.
I would pay extra money to get the sports network that carries Aussie Rules Football in the States, but it's not even an option unless I give up cable for a dish.
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Fox Soccer carries it, and if I still had cable I would watch it all the time. Second best sport, behind baseball.
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Fox Soccer USED to carry it. Now it's carried by something called Setanta. I don't get Fox Soccer channel anyway.
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Okay, that makes since as I haven't had Fox Soccer channel since 2004. Still, I love me some Aussie Rules.
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Fox Soccer carries it, and if I still had cable I would watch it all the time. Second best sport, behind baseball.
Rugby is the king of all sports. Back when Fox Soccer Channel was called Fox Sports World they would run Rugby at like 2AM. Those were the days.
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Oh, I was never a jock, absolutely. I know nothing about how sports work from the inside, I just know for brilliantly analyzing them from the outside.
I am the anti-Joe-Morgan in this fashion.
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Also: I'm not counting any chickens before they hatch here but...
I'm feeling pretty good so far in terms of pretend-football playoffs this week.
I might pull off making the second round despite my losing regular season record.
Which would be the exact opposite of my pretend baseball team.
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That opinion shows you never made fuck-all at a game.
Baseball is where all the challenged athletes go to flop about. Baseball is so forgiving it's charity.
Are you saying football requires one to be a well-rounded ath-uh-lete?
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To PLAY the game, no, it ain't the thinking man's sport.
Football offensive leadership-skill positions probably are the sporting positions that take the most thought in the moment, I'd reckon.
However, from the outside looking in, baseball is kind of the sport you can over-think the most as an observer.
It's the same reason why Joe Morgan was a Hall of Fame player and yet seems to be a half-step away from a droolbib as an announcer and... Billy Beane was a huge washout with a coupla cups of coffee in the majors as a player and yet a great baseball mind in terms of organizational management.
Understanding how the game physically works from the player on the field and understanding how the strategy of the game works from the General Manager's luxury suite are about as different skill sets as you can get.
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Why was that fantasy sports are so popular again?
ALSO: D-Linemen require the lowest wondelic scores to get a thumbs up so think on that, y'dig.
So Vince Young has options if he washes out as a QB? That would probably fill him with sufficient rage, and a couple steroid cycles would get the necessary bulk.
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Catcher does seem to be the most intellect-based position, doesn't it?
Not necessarily that they're smarter as a group but... their position requires the most baseline smarts to apply from.
Hm. Lotta the managers and stuff who WERE successful players are catchers, yeah?
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Hm. Willie Randolph was a second-baseman so...
His incompetence is probably more about cowardice and complacency than idiocy?
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Total options. Shit he's about as big as Dwight Freeney already.
Quick check: name a quality coach that came out of the d-line. Not an OK coach, a damn good one. It's like baseball and centerfielders.
Hmmm...well, Tim Green (http://www.timgreenbooks.com/about.php)'s written a few books (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/search-handle-url/103-4593298-2022231?%5Fencoding=UTF8&search-type=ss&index=books&field-author=Tim%20Green). May well be the exception proving the rule though.
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Good God - we'll have to see what comes of Luis Castillo once he's done playing. Early signs were that he wasn't that bright: testing positive for andro before the draft in 2005. On the other hand, his Wonderlic was 37 (rough IQ equivalent of 134), various coaches, journalists and whatnot say he's very intelligent.
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It'll be sooner than later with Castillo...
Dude's knee is held together by bailing wire and hope.
Four year contract, what in the damn-friggin was Minaya thinking...
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Good game, Ass Men... onto playoff round two!
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Catching up:
a) I certainly think some team will take a flyer on Michael Vick when he gets out of jail. For cryin' out loud, Kyle Orton and Brooks Bollinger played in last night's NFL game. Good quarterbacks are hard to come by.
b) Speaking of last night's game, guess who picked the Bears to cover, AND nailed the 33-point total score to win the office football pool this week? Nothing like watching a football game and rooting for both teams NOT to score for pretty much all of it. Fortunately, it was the Vikings and Bears, so there you go.
c) Here in Nationals territory, I was browsing the list of players named in the Mitchell report and thinking "None of our guys matter enough to be on here." But then my eyes caught "Nook Logan," and had I been drinking coffee at the time I'd have spit it all over my monitor. Look kids, proof that performance-enhancing drugs won't necessarily make you a major league talent!
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Indeed. I have a friend here who is convinced that steroids are safe if used properly, and since pro athletes have access to the best doctors and such, it should be legal for them. And my counter-point is that college and high school players will inevitably believe they need to take that step too to get to the next level, but lacking access to the best doctors and pharms they'll end up hurting themselves.
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Apparently the Mariners are on the verge of signing Carlos Silva -- Carlos Silva! -- to a 4 year / 44 million dollar contract. It's moments like these when you should all feel grateful you're not a Mariners fan like me.
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See, I think... the Nook Logans of the world are the ones who would be MOST likely to use, really.
The jump from September call-up cuppa-coffee AAA-lifer to 24th or 25th man on a major league roster... there's so much more marginal utility to that difference than the difference between making two million dollars a year and ten million dollars a year.
AAA guy still probably has to get a job in the off-season, AAA guy isn't getting into the MLBPA pension stuff, AAA guy has significantly less cred to build a second career as a broadcaster or a coach or a front-office guy or doing used car commericals or a scout or whatever.
Bob Ucker, y'know, there's a guy who MADE his second career out of the fact that he was a marginal major-league talent who was just able to hang around in the bigs for an extended period of time, somehow.
And a marginal MLB talent who can manage to say on the 25-man roster consistently despite having only the minimum talent to stay up there... that guy is banking, what's the MLB-veteran minimum? Somewhere between 300 and 500 grand, right?
If you can hang in there and draw that kinda water for four or five years and be smart about it, even after taxes and agent fees... it might not set you 100% for life but it'll give you a nice fuckin' nest egg and a whole lotta time to do figure out the rest of your days, y'know.
Give you time to figure out if you wanna coach or broadcast or... buy a small bar in Boston or... go back to your little hometown and live off your small-amount of fame by running a restaurant or a car lot or whatever.
That seems so much more worthy of risking your life over than the difference between a borderline All-Star making two mil and a borderline HoF making twelve mil.
This is just me, though, I love baseball but I didn't play many sports so I perhaps do not understand the competitive mindset.
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I guess that's the difference between trying to make it in the arts and trying to make it in athletics...
If you've got the skills and the drive, you can get a look from a scout... at least enough to get yourself to a place where people the next step up will give you a cursory look and so forth.
Whereas you can be doing the best things in the arts or the worst and... if you got a friend in a high place who wants to do you a big favour, you can be bought and sold no matter how bad you are and... vicey-versey.
Whole different mindset, I s'pose.
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Here is an awesome blog post about grittiness:
http://www.flotsam-media.com/2007/12/flotsam-data-special-tangiblizing.html
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Hey, thats only like 19 more interesting blog articles to find!
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Good Lord, Mr. Keith, you are hella canned.
I now both know why Willie Randolph sucks so bad and why he thinks Luis Castillo doesn't suck.
(Luis Castillo definitely sucks, by the by, even if he was pretty good like 10,000 years ago.)
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That article is pretty funny, but there's a few things wrong with it. It contradicts itself about strikeouts and unintentional walks. How is it that gritty players would put the ball in play so often while simultaneously drawing a ton of walks? They don't. Gritty players don't walk. That shit's for pussies and Albert Pujols. Gritty players bunt, pop up to the second baseman and strike out because they're choking up on the bat so much there's nothing to hit the ball with. The fact that the grittiest player-season of all time had an OBP over .400 kind of makes you scratch your head.
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Good luck sort of not really, Walrus.
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Good luck sort of not really, Walrus.
Dude my whole team just shat out its bones and got pu$$y implants. What a great time to drop the ball, guys.
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Why couldn't I have had a good week last week?!?
Plus, I told you the Monkeys would pass us all. Anyhow, I have a 2 and a 3 finish in this little fantasy sports thing we got going on and you can mark it down now, I am winning next baseball season.
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Congratulations Monkeys!
I would trash-talk your Clearly Untrue Statement about next year's fantasy baseball as I will surely be winning but... it's still 2007 for God's sake and I'm not quite so crazy as to get to the trash talking quite yet.
I would seriously dig TOUAMB fantasy baseball being even bigger next year, the shallower the talent pool, the more fun it is.
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It's so cute to see the little people arguing over who will win fantasy baseball this year. Now if you don't mind, I have a pretend trophy to go polish.
(I drank beer out of it last night. It's disgusting.)
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We must look forward, you see, in the face of Great Failure.
This is all we have.
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Congratulations Monkeys!
Um, who owns the Monkeys then?
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Um, who owns the Monkeys then?
Nabu!
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OK, cool. Congrats Nabu!
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Thanks, all! I couldn't get on line during the time in Vegas because the Hard Rock sees fit to charge extra money for just about everything other than breathing air (because, of course, they can't do that as the only air the provide is thick with cigarette smoke). So, yeah, wanna get on line? $12/day. Go to the gym? $20/day. Coffee and water for breakfast? $30. Jesus fuck, people.
Anyway, thanks for the congrats. I enjoyed it, although I had to cross my fingers with the lineup since I didn't really have the resources to double-check it. Well, I did, but fuck whoever owns that casino.
Also, please try not to forget that we are still playing hockey. Anyone? If you want me to play baseball next year and be a tomato can for you, you have to play hockey now. I will try to provide some more Vegas info later if anyone is interested.
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The Walrus refuses to recognize you as the football champion. Also, I tried to join hockey a while ago and it said it was too late to join.
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Yeah, that's the tough part about having a hot team's players - they get you all the way there, then when you need them the most, they play one series and then replace the helmet with the ballcap.
I'll be sitting here plotting my revenge until next year - I don't have the patience for fantasy baseball.
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The Walrus refuses to recognize you as the football champion. Also, I tried to join hockey a while ago and it said it was too late to join.
Why don't you just change your login here to Walrus, so I can continue to know who the fuck you are. So, Spider-penny, is it?
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Ha ha! Once again, my worst fuck*ng player? Oh yes, you know he's on the can't cut list. Fuck me in the ear!
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Time to bring playoff football discussion back where it belongs. Themed soda beverage threads are no place for talking about juiced-up Samoans trying to kill each other.
Anyways, Seahawks! I'm super-excited they're going to Green Bay next week. Now Matt Hasselbeck has the opportunity to vindicate himself after that ridiculous prediction a few year back. You remember, right? "We want the ball and we're going to score!" Except... no. Interception, Packer touchdown.
I would die if he did the exact same thing, tacked on a "for reals this time," and proceeded to make every cheese-head in Wisconsin cry. Of course, this isn't going to happen thanks to his gimpy wrist, but one can dream.
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Fuck the Seahawks. I'm getting sick of the Redskins dramatically earning their way to the playoffs, then getting bitch-slapped in Seattle. I don't know what it is about that fuck*ng place, man.
I don't have a team anymore to root for - the two I would pull for were both eliminated Saturday. Of the remaining teams, the only ones I don't pretty much hate are the Chargers and the Packers. With just my luck, it'll be the Seahawks and the Colts in the Super Bowl. If that were to happen... I dunno, man, I might watch something else.
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There is always rooting against the Patriots.
There is a douchebag who put the pretty lady tied up on the rail-tracks and he is twirling his moustache as we speak. It is always solid to at least boo him lusty-like.
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See, there's a part of me that wants to see it happen, just so that we don't get the same "Well, I guess those members of the '72 Dolphins can crack their champagne open" lines every goddamn year. Even though every year it's busted as a myth, it still gets said over and over and over. I wonder if they make it happen, if next year the line will be "Well, I guess those members of '07 Patriots are getting their champagne ready." To which someone will probably reply, "Doubtful - they take the field in twenty minutes."
I have $100 coming to me if the Colts don't win the Super Bowl this year, so they're #1 on the shit list.
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Somehow, I don't see the Colts winning in Bahhhhhstan in the middla January.
Your benjie is probably safe no matter what.
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Belichick's not even bothering to hide his Sith powers any more. Their winning the Super Bowl is inevitable.
I mean, I'm rooting for an unprotected thermal exhaust port as much as the next guy, but seriously. Every break goes the Patriots' way.
If the Baltimore game didn't prove that, nothing will.
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Somehow, I don't see the Colts winning in Bahhhhhstan in the middla January.
Your benjie is probably safe no matter what.
Especially, y'know, as it's gonna be the Bolts who go to New England and all.
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I dunno, Nab... that win over the Titans... hm.
If you look up "unimpressive playoff win" in the Rhyming Becktionary and you're gonna find a picture of the Chargers in that game.
The Titans lost that game a LOT more than the San Diego Super-Chargers got 'er done, as it were.
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I dunno, Nab... that win over the Titans... hm.
If you look up "unimpressive playoff win" in the Rhyming Becktionary and you're gonna find a picture of the Chargers in that game.
The Titans lost that game a LOT more than the San Diego Super-Chargers got 'er done, as it were.
I won't argue with that, but I think they'll be a lot more relaxed vs. the Colts. Also, they beat the Colts this year in the regular season. We'll have to see if 85 comes back.
I'd much rather the next game was against the Colts than either Jax or NE.
The last time I was in Vegas was for the SD win against Pitt in '94. All the signs are there, baby!
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Oh, I'm not saying they don't have a viable chance...
I'm just saying, if I had to bet, I'd be bettin' Colts.
They have a lot better chance than the Giants over the Cowboys, certainly, despite the delusional protestations of Giant fans on my favourite Mets messageboard.
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Fuck the Seahawks. I'm getting sick of the Redskins dramatically earning their way to the playoffs, then getting bitch-slapped in Seattle. I don't know what it is about that fuck*ng place, man.
What's up with it is Santana Moss giving up on a route, and failing to notice that Collins was throwing him the ball anyway. That interception was really the back-breaker, but if Moss had kept running his route it probably would have been an incompletion and the 'Skins would still have had life.
This weekend's games scarcely matter, though, because I expect all four home teams to hold serve next weekend. I give Seattle a puncher's chance at Green Bay, because I think the Packers aren't as good as their record would indicate, but otherwise, these games will be jokes.
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I would like to point out that finally, after 72 pages, we've veered pretty well off-topic. The only thing so powerful that it could derail Pretend Sports, as it turns out, is Real Sports.
Santana's miscue was a deal-breaker, to be sure. I really want to go out and buy a new Redskins jersey, but damned if I can think of a player whose number I want to wear. I had this problem the last time, and solved it by going old-school and getting an Art Monk retro jersey. Portis? Fumbles too damn much. Moss? Bleh. The quarterback? We probably won't know until the Thursday before Week 1 who the QB will be. Taylor? Everyone rocks the 21 now, and though it's for good reason, the point is to get a current player's number.
Maybe I'll go retro again and get Chip Lohmiller, the kicker from the last Super Bowl winning team. Did you know that the Colts were so terrible that year, that Chip outscored that entire team by himself? Man, I miss the days when the Colts sucked ass.
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This is only because Pretend Hockey confounds us and...
Pretend Baseball and Pretend Football are both inactive.
Oh man, when Pretend Baseball is back. Oh. Man.
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I really want to go out and buy a new Redskins jersey, but damned if I can think of a player whose number I want to wear. I had this problem the last time, and solved it by going old-school and getting an Art Monk retro jersey. Portis? Fumbles too damn much. Moss? Bleh. The quarterback? We probably won't know until the Thursday before Week 1 who the QB will be. Taylor?
You should probably get a Riggins jersey before any other old-school guy. That guy embodied the spirit of the Redskins at the time.
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What's up with it is Santana Moss giving up on a route, and failing to notice that Collins was throwing him the ball anyway. That interception was really the back-breaker, but if Moss had kept running his route it probably would have been an incompletion and the 'Skins would still have had life.
This weekend's games scarcely matter, though, because I expect all four home teams to hold serve next weekend. I give Seattle a puncher's chance at Green Bay, because I think the Packers aren't as good as their record would indicate, but otherwise, these games will be jokes.
See my post in Today I'm...... Actually don't, I said the same thing. Seriously, why is this not a thing.
Also, I would go with Portis because he is awesome, but, well, he is kind of overrated and definitely fumbles too often.
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I really want to go out and buy a new Redskins jersey, but damned if I can think of a player whose number I want to wear.
I have a Darrell Green #28. Caught it on sale at Modell's a few years ago for like $10.
Which it had to be in order for me to buy it, as the Redskins are my third-favorite team.
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I think it would be amusing to have a Redskins "Day-O'Connor" jersey. But that's me.
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I have a Darrell Green #28. Caught it on sale at Modell's a few years ago for like $10.
Which it had to be in order for me to buy it, as the Redskins are my third-favorite team.
People have third-favorite teams? Maybe I'm just a purist, but I can't really see people rooting for anyone besides their home team or perhaps a team with sentimental ties, like your father's favorite team.
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I root for whatever team I think is most entertaining at the time. I may change allegiance several times during a single game.
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I root for whatever team I think is most entertaining at the time. I may change allegiance several times during a single game.
fter my favorite teams, which are my dads since I have no home town teams.
I used to get in arguments with my Cowboys fan grandad as a kid.
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People have third-favorite teams? Maybe I'm just a purist, but I can't really see people rooting for anyone besides their home team or perhaps a team with sentimental ties, like your father's favorite team.
Yeah, I know it's moderately ridiculous. I've always been an Eagles fan. I picked up an affection for the Ravens when they moved in up the road, especially on their Super Bowl run, and since the Eagles and Ravens are in separate conferences and thus only meet once every four years, I don't see too much conflict in that.
Living in the DC area, it is impossible to not know what's going on with the Redskins, even if you're not interested in sports. They are leaps and bounds ahead of the other local teams in terms of popularity. Normally I can't bring myself to cheer for them, owing to their division rivalry with Philly. But in circumstances like this, when the Redskins are in the playoffs and the Eagles are out, yeah I suppose I'd like them to win, for the overall community's sake.
I despair that we will see a Patiots-Cowboys Super Bowl. I loathe them both.
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Having grown up without a home team, I have like 8 'favorite' teams and some other teams I hate. Most of this is because of fantasy football or when they drafted Auburn players.
Favorites (no particular order):
- Green Bay
- Pittsburgh
- Tampa Bay
- Indianapolis
- Tennessee
- Cincinnati
- Minnesota
Teams I hate:
- Denver
- Oakland
- New England
- Dallas
- Baltimore
- St. Louis
Everyone else is kind of 'meh,' though Jacksonville is inching its way towards the hate list.
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The mutual friend I met my wife through went to UVA, and her favorite football teams were the teams with former UVA players. The player switched teams, she switched allegiances. I don't know if that just shows her ferocious devotion to the college game, or a lack of dedication in the pro game.
My list:
1. Redskins
2-4. Chargers, Panthers, Steelers - this list kinda goes back and forth depending on the situation. I root for the Steelers when the situation warrants because of my wife, the Panthers due to geographic proximity, and the Chargers because at various times in history they were kinda like "Washington Redskins, West." Lots of former Washington personnel found themselves in San Diego.
5-29. Everyone else. The Patriots trend towards the bottom of the list, as do the Giants, Eagles, and Bills. Small-market teams (Kansas City, Green Bay) trend higher.
30-32. Colts, Seahawks, Cowboys. Again, the situation dictates the actual order. Seattle is a new addition, based on recent events.
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It's nice to see how a team that's spent nearly its entire existence toiling in mediocrity in a forgotten, isolated corner of the country can now be considered good enough to make a dude's shit list. Go 'hawks!
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In '83 I was -1 years old. Just saying.
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Jesus what is with you people. One team! You get one team! If you want another team, try another fuck*ng sport, a'ight?
That having been said, my list of teams that are dead to me:
Raiders
Broncos
Patriots (recent)
Giants (recent)
'boys
'skins (bad nickname, horrible egomaniac owner)
'hawks (as Asher, leftover from AFC West)
Chiefs (sorry so low, but they are the dykes with mullets team, and who doesn't love dykes with mullets? Also, Camaros and Natty Light)
49ers (fuck 'em for beating the Bolts)
Ravens (bunch of criminals)
Jaguars (running up the score against Dan, but now I'm reaching)
That's about it. As for the rest of them, fuck 'em - who gives a shit. I do sort of like the Lions for the whole loveable loser thing and plus Barry Sanders and Bobby Ross.
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'skins (bad nickname, horrible egomaniac owner)
Yeah, yeah... truth is, I like that my team's name is a little racist. Fuck being PC. If they decided to change the name, I would seriously consider changing teams.
Snyder sucks, but one of these days he's going to hit the right combination, like those millionaires who run the Powerball a few years ago by buying every combination of lottery ticket.
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Yeah, yeah... truth is, I like that my team's name is a little racist.
Ah. Ok.
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Ah. Ok.
Not in the sense that I'm all "Yay, Racism! Boo, people other than me!" But what I AM is "Boo, political correctness!"
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Not in the sense that I'm all "Yay, Racism! Boo, people other than me!" But what I AM is "Boo, political correctness!"
That's cool. We should probably just set this to the side. I was going to get into it, but I really don't feel like it.
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To me, there's a pretty huge difference between modern political correctness with its handicap parking spaces and hyphenated last names and, you know, painful relics of an era when entire peoples were subjugated en masse and treated like subhumans.
Edit: Whoops. Looks like Nabu has declared this off-limits. Consider this my fleeting two cents!
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To me, there's a pretty huge difference between modern political correctness with its handicap parking spaces and hyphenated last names and, you know, painful relics of an era when entire peoples were subjugated en masse and treated like subhumans.
Edit: Whoops. Looks like Nabu has declared this off-limits. Consider this my fleeting two cents!
The sign says Pretend Sports. We've done this right for hundreds of posts, dont fuck it up now.
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I have a bit of Native American in me (? is that how you say it, I am a small percentage Native American, etc. though not involved in the culture at all) and the Redskins are my favorite team. I don't know, they were my favorite team before I knew anything about anything, you know? Kind of hard to stop that.
Not as hard as to stop The Happy Chemicals next year in fantasy baseball though! We really need a pretend sport, or we will never catch up with Today I'm Gonna... in length or topic stayability.
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The sign says Pretend Sports. We've done this right for hundreds of posts, dont fuck it up now.
The heated discussion on the merits of bunting from 20 pages ago says hi!
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The heated discussion on the merits of bunting from 20 pages ago says hi!
Hey, who doesn't like bunting?
We hang some up between the columns of our porch every July. It also looks nice on the front of the speaker's table at a fancy banquet.
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I have a bit of Native American in me (? is that how you say it, I am a small percentage Native American, etc. though not involved in the culture at all) and the Redskins are my favorite team. I don't know, they were my favorite team before I knew anything about anything, you know? Kind of hard to stop that.
Not as hard as to stop The Happy Chemicals next year in fantasy baseball though! We really need a pretend sport, or we will never catch up with Today I'm Gonna... in length or topic stayability.
fuck*ng HOCKEY GODDAMNIT
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Also, the Falcons want to interview Pete Carroll. (http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=3187424) Haaaaaa haaaaa ha ha ha haaaaa ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Hah hah!
Oh jesus my stomach hurts.
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Also, the Falcons want to interview Pete Carroll. (http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=3187424) Haaaaaa haaaaa ha ha ha haaaaa ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Hah hah!
Oh jesus my stomach hurts.
Whoa! Couldn't they get ahold of Wayne Fontes?
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Ha ha ha ha ha!
Hah hah!
I'm phoning it in.
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Art Shell is free.
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Art Shell is free.
Oh surely they would pay him something.
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Quick question - is anyone actually actively involved in the hockey league other than me? I notice one of the lineups boasts 4 gentlemen on injured reserve (three guys out 2 more months and one indefinitely) and one guy who currently plays for the Lake Erie Monsters.
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I would caution you about letting your guard down regardless. Melack's pretend football team beat me handily in Week 8 or something with guys on byes and out due to injury.
PM Somebody nice and shame her into paying attention.
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I would caution you about letting your guard down regardless. Melack's pretend football team beat me handily in Week 8 or something with guys on byes and out due to injury.
PM Somebody nice and shame her into paying attention.
Well I figured she'd be somewhat hands-on, given that she's the Commish and all. Although having a guy on her roster who is in the AHL is pretty fuckin' cool.
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Don't underestimate the ability to do well with little to no effort. For example, I'm in a fantasy basketball league at work with a bunch of website traffic optimization analysts (basically, numbers guys) and even though I stopped paying attention to my team in the first month, I'm still somehow not in last place.
But then again, actually excelling requires a tremendous amount of work. I devoted an ungodly amount of hours to my fantasy baseball team in order to win. In the end, was it worth it? Of fuckin' course it was! But it still took an ungodly amount of hours.
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Well I figured she'd be somewhat hands-on, given that she's the Commish and all. Although having a guy on her roster who is in the AHL is pretty fuckin' cool.
Does he get NHL credit for his AHL performances?
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That's why I can pretty much only do fantasy football. I just don't know enough about baseball and hockey - and I love watching baseball and hockey.
PTI is right - football IS the American Pasttime now.
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Yeah, I'm with you, there.
I know way way way too much about baseball, just enough about football to hold a conversation about it and... pretty much nothing about hockey. I like watching it live and in person but I don't know what any of the positions actually mean or what the lines are or what icing means and so on and so on.
It is hard to play a Pretend Game if you do not understand the Actual Rules.
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Here's the thing about hockey - why it's fantastic live, and so shit on television.
I went to an ECHL (AA-level) game many years back between the (then) Hampton Roads Admirals and the Richmond Renegades. It was a heated rivalry. This game was probably the best game I'll ever see live in any sport. It went to a penalty shootout, the home team won, etc. etc. Our seats were first row, with a clear-as-day line of sight to one of the goals. A shot was attempted, deflected into the stick of one of the Richmond defensemen, who then shot it towards the boards to clear it out. Toward the boards. Right in front of me. Life... time... slowed down. The world started to fog out into the haze, like that episode of Star Trek TNG where Dr. Crusher thinks the universe is collapsing. It was me and the puck, and we were coming to Jesus together, me and it. And then, in an instant, a loud crack, and the puck was gone, down the rink towards the other end.
And then I pissed myself.
You just can't get that on television. And I enjoy watching hockey on TV, I watch all things sports on TV. But I've never had to change my ##### because of a hockey play I saw on television.
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Exactly. The AHL hockey in Utica, Syracuse and Albany in my youth and teens?
Up close and personal, rad rad stuff.
Television just sort of... cannot... capture it and radio's even worse for it.
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We used to have an ECHL team over in Upper Marlboro, MD. I organized several group trips to game, and I always told everyone, "There WILL be a fight, or I will personally refund your ticket price." I never once had to pay up.
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Everybody in minor league hockey's trying to make it up to the bigs as an enforcer and, hence, is trying to fight their way up.
That is the true beauty of minor-league hockey.
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Yeah, I'm with you, there.
I know way way way too much about baseball, just enough about football to hold a conversation about it and... pretty much nothing about hockey. I like watching it live and in person but I don't know what any of the positions actually mean or what the lines are or what icing means and so on and so on.
It is hard to play a Pretend Game if you do not understand the Actual Rules.
That didn't stop me from playing the baseball, goddamnit. Thanks for nothing you bastards.
Note: It actually is not very hard to play the pretend game without knowing the rules. There are no points awarded for icing. You don't even have to know that such a thing exists.
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Well, okay, but I don't even know what the positions and statistics mean in Pretend Hockey.
Watching it live, all you need to know is what a goal is and how awesome it is to watch a fight.
It is actually much more complicated when you are pretending.
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Man, I will play, but I think it is too late. If it is not I am in, even though I have seen maybe 10 hockey games in my life.
You guys are right though, I would rather see the CHL OKC Blazers than x vs. y on tv.
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Man, I will play, but I think it is too late. If it is not I am in, even though I have seen maybe 10 hockey games in my life.
You guys are right though, I would rather see the CHL OKC Blazers than x vs. y on tv.
Hockey sucks hard on TV. The only reason it is my number 2 TV sport is because I love it so much and am far away from the rink most of the time.
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Wow. Green Bay spotted 'em 14 and Seattle's still getting demolished.
Too bad that I can't take some of this Ryan Grant and apply it to my fantasy team retroactively...
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That game would have been awesome if it was still close during the heavy snow.
Let's hope this next game can be better. Jax just threw a 30 yard pass on 4th, so...
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Hockey sucks hard on TV. The only reason it is my number 2 TV sport is because I love it so much and am far away from the rink most of the time.
Oi, next time you're down we should check out a Winterhawks game. I haven't been to a WHL game since I was a kid. I don't even know what league the Portland team is in. They are not in the same league as the GUELPH STORM though. That's the best name goin'.
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People weren't exactly jumping for the Ar-kansas job, y'know.
The Michigan job, either.
He could've lined something up and waited three weeks to sign on the dotted line.
Is there some reason why he couldn't take the job and finish this season? No, there is not.
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It's the same reason why Joe Morgan was a Hall of Fame player and yet seems to be a half-step away from a droolbib as an announcer and... Billy Beane was a huge washout with a coupla cups of coffee in the majors as a player and yet a great baseball mind in terms of organizational management.
One time Joe Morgan said "It's not how fast he runs, but how quick he gets to base." Me and my dad frequently get a chuckle out of that one.
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There is always rooting against the Patriots.
There is a douchebag who put the pretty lady tied up on the rail-tracks and he is twirling his moustache as we speak. It is always solid to at least boo him lusty-like.
Hey that's a good analogy about the moustache because I am totally rooting FOR the Patriots.
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I would like to point out that finally, after 72 pages, we've veered pretty well off-topic. The only thing so powerful that it could derail Pretend Sports, as it turns out, is Real Sports.
Yes, but this thread always veers back on topic. It's a coupla months to baseball season though. There's no fantasy basketball leagues?
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Having grown up without a home team, I have like 8 'favorite' teams and some other teams I hate. Most of this is because of fantasy football or when they drafted Auburn players.
Favorites (no particular order):
- Green Bay
- Pittsburgh
- Tampa Bay
- Indianapolis
- Tennessee
- Cincinnati
- Minnesota
Teams I hate:
- Denver
- Oakland
- New England
- Dallas
- Baltimore
- St. Louis
Everyone else is kind of 'meh,' though Jacksonville is inching its way towards the hate list.
I've always been a hometown team kind of guy, but then the team I had rooted for my entire life uprooted itself and moved to another city. My town has a new team, but I can't call myself a fan. It took me a decade to finally start to get interested in professional sports again. It's really liberating to watch a game without any bias towards who wins. Hell I even enjoy watching the Cowboys win nowadays.
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Oh, quit crying poor me. You got that '83 team the Raiders picked off in the AFC Champ. with Easley, Warner, Largent, Zorn, Norm Johnson and Krieg to hang your hat on.
I have the '78 Oilers, that was a great team. They lost to Pittsburgh in the AFC Championship game. Houston lost a touchdown on a bad call from the officials and went on to lose the game. I take solace in the fact that they almost beat what many consider to be the best team in the History of the game.
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Here's the thing about hockey - why it's fantastic live, and so shit on television.
My favorite part about hockey live is the chance of taking an errant puck to the face. That and all the douchebags in attendance (upwards of 85% of the crowd).
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Paul all hitting the shit out of this topic!
Jesus I almost bit my fuck*ng tongue off during that goddamn game. No starting QB, RB, FB, and TE gimpy. Still somehow managing to finish. Good lord that was a football game right there. If someone had said that when we finished it would have been Volek, Pinnock, and Turner I would have been thinking Colts 63, Bolts 7.
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That was a damn sweet game. Not as sweet as Dallas getting beat, but still pretty fuck*ng awesome.
Two of the teams I hate the most played today, and both lost.
I feel bad saying hate, I mean, I don't actually think I care that much, but yeah, fuck those teams.
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I was pretty ambivalent about the Colts and Chargers, but dang was it sweet to see Jerry Jones's sour downcast mug. It made for a lovely dinner appetizer.
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Goodbye my sweet, snot-green Seahawks. You were dead before the snow hit the ground; you just didn't realize it.
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I was pretty ambivalent about the Colts and Chargers, but dang was it sweet to see Jerry Jones's sour downcast mug. It made for a lovely dinner appetizer.
There always has to be one really remarkable face on the sidelines late in the playoffs. Deathmask (Jerry Jones) is gone. Leatherface (Shanahan) didn't make it. Thank fuck we still have the Lunar Surface.
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There always has to be one really remarkable face on the sidelines late in the playoffs. Deathmask (Jerry Jones) is gone. Leatherface (Shanahan) didn't make it. Thank fuck we still have the Lunar Surface.
And the Anti-Nolan, for that matter (sartorially speaking).
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The AFC championship - FEEL THE VOLEKTRICITY!
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Volektricity is a vital component of tiny cans.
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I grew up a Bills fan with a secondary minor rooting interest in the Giants.
So I can cheer for the Giants and cheer against the Patriots Sunday... as being a Bills fan means hating the Dolphins and the Patriots with the passion of a thousand suns.
So, like, it's about as good a scenario for my secondary interests as you can get with my primary team out.
And it all doesn't mean 5% as much as one regular season Mets game does to me.
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as being a Bills fan means hating the Dolphins and the Patriots with the passion of a thousand suns.
Really?
As a Dolphin fan I had no idea.
I mean, I'll hate the pond scum, dog ass Jets until the day I die. But I've always been pretty ambivalent about the Bills. I liked Marv Levy.
And, like everybody else, I hate the Pats this year (and the past couple of years too, I guess). But it's not a visceral hate derived from my love of the Phins. It's a generalized hate, the way I hate the Cowboys or the Yankees.
I just never got a Division Rivalry vibe between the Bills and the Dolphins.
Also, fuck the Jets. Fuck them in their skanky eye sockets.
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There is no team hated more in the Buffalo area than the Dolphins. You could definitely defend Osama Bin Laden or Hitler in that town before you could Dan Marino. It's just that it's one of those one-way rivalries that I'm pretty sure Florida-area Finsfans have no idea exists.
I imagine it's a lot like how Blue Jays fans consider the Yankees their rival and the Yankees fans barely acknowledge the existence of a Toronto team and so on. Or, indeed, how much more important it is for the Mets to beat the Yankees than vice versa.
Yankees fans want to beat the Red Sox and want to win the World Series and all else is yawn.
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There is no team hated more in the Buffalo area than the Dolphins. You could definitely defend Osama Bin Laden or Hitler in that town before you could Dan Marino. It's just that it's one of those one-way rivalries that I'm pretty sure Florida-area Finsfans have no idea exists.
I'm certainly not questioning you here, but what it the source of this hatred? Can you point to particular games?
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Hmmm. There's no particular game that I can think of off-hand.
But the few Bills games I went to, there were a lot of tee-shirts sold with dead dolphins on them and so forth. I seem to remember a stretch in the eighties or nineties when they were the best two in the AFC East and it just carried over from then.
I think a lot of it was about the idea that if they could get Miami in a December home game, the cold weather would always put the advantage in Buffalo's court... unlike against the Jets or the Patriots where, like, they had winter too, just with a little less snow.
EDIT: So it might've been one of those North Versus South things as... as much as Central and Western New York are culturally acclimated to hating the urban coastal cities like Manhattan and Boston... they are much much more inclined to mistrust Southern culture.
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I think a lot of it was about the idea that if they could get Miami in a December home game, the cold weather would always put the advantage in Buffalo's court... unlike against the Jets or the Patriots where, like, they had winter too, just with a little less snow.
Didn't they get a home game every year?
EDIT: So it might've been one of those North Versus South things as... as much as Central and Western New York are culturally acclimated to hating the urban coastal cities like Manhattan and Boston... they are much much more inclined to mistrust Southern culture.
Certain elements around these parts hate mistrust anybody from north of the Ohio River.
Of course, Miami is about as southern as Hoboken.
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Yeah, home game every year, but not necessarily December home game.
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Yeah, that's the thing.
A home game for Buffalo in September or October could well be a pleasant 60-degree "Indian Summer" day that affords them no real advantage other than your general home-game stuff.
It's if they get to play you at Rich Stadium, like, the Sunday before Christmas when it is -10 and three inches of snow on the field. That's where even a mediocre Bills team can come out and upset a very good warm-weather team.
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I'm glad my teams all have red-hot rivalries. Mets-Braves. Mets-Yankees. Redskins-Cowboys. Cavaliers-Hokies. Good stuff.
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God, we need to get some pretend sports back up in this thread. The real sports shit is killing me.
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Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa Keeeeeeeeeeee . . .
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Welcome back, Somebody nice.
I probably should have kept my mouth shut.
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Welcome back, Somebody nice.
I probably should have kept my mouth shut.
Heh... I suck at this whole fantasy sport thing. But I'm dissatisfied with my 6/6 rating. We'll see how things go.
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Heh... I suck at this whole fantasy sport thing. But I'm dissatisfied with my 6/6 rating. We'll see how things go.
I see you unloaded that deadwood Sakic (I'm kidding!)
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I see you unloaded that deadwood Sakic (I'm kidding!)
Yeah, he was injured and so I decided I'd better get him outta there. Along with the other 2/3 of my team that was injured. Great joerb on not logging in for six months, Somebody nice.
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Eli Manning is going to the Super Bowl. This reminds me...
I once saw a clip of the Manning brothers playing backyard football, none of them could have been older than 7 at the time. Peyton makes a tackle -- or tag, or something -- on Eli. Sure enough, Eli starts crying his eyes out. Peyton looks at the camera to plead his case and Eli takes off running for the end zone. If that's not the perfect allegory for Eli's career, I don't know what is. You spend four years thinking the guy might be mildly retarded and all of a sudden he catches you by surprise and runs it into the end zone. Beautiful.
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Eli Manning is going to the Super Bowl. This reminds me...
I once saw a clip of the Manning brothers playing backyard football, none of them could have been older than 7 at the time. Peyton makes a tackle -- or tag, or something -- on Eli. Sure enough, Eli starts crying his eyes out. Peyton looks at the camera to plead his case and Eli takes off running for the end zone. If that's not the perfect allegory for Eli's career, I don't know what is. You spend four years thinking the guy might be mildly retarded and all of a sudden he catches you by surprise and runs it into the end zone. Beautiful.
I saw that to. You drew a strikingly different conclusion from it than I did, though.
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Yeah, for some reason this made me a huge fan of Eli. I can't stand Peyton, but Eli seems different, like he cares about more than football and kenny chesney's cock.
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I officially hate everyone involved in the Super Bowl (except Heath Evans).
Maybe the Giants can rush Brady effectively, but they're going against a Sith Lord with two weeks to compare and only a month since the last time they were defeated. Grr.
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I saw that to. You drew a strikingly different conclusion from it than I did, though.
You mean to suggest he's still retarded or never was?
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You mean to suggest he's still retarded or never was?
I mean to suggest he's a giant pussy. He is retarded, though. At least he seems like it.
Sorry, I'm just enraged that I am now put in a position to root for the douchebag. I'm going to rationalize it by pretending that the whole thing about refusing to play for the Chargers was his dad's idea, the old fuck.
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To answer your question from another thread nabu, the greatest sports blog ever:
http://vegaswatch.net/
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To answer your question from another thread nabu, the greatest sports blog ever:
http://vegaswatch.net/
That's exceedingly likely to be blocked here at work . . . I'll bet.
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Yeah, this Super Bowl is going to suck it, hard. I'll still make chili and watch the game, though, because it's what you do. And I will turn XXXVIII.
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Yeah, this Super Bowl is going to suck. But to be fair, I haven't been able to get worked up over any Super Bowl since the the Seahawks lost. When your football fandom reaches such a towering peak only to have it come crashing down in a blaze of tragedy, you tend to take a while to let yourself get emotionally invested in the sport again.
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Yeah, this Super Bowl is going to suck. But to be fair, I haven't been able to get worked up over any Super Bowl since the the Seahawks lost. When your football fandom reaches such a towering peak only to have it come crashing down in a blaze of tragedy, you tend to take a while to let yourself get emotionally invested in the sport again.
1994. fuck*ng 49ers.
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I'm gonna throw in with the Pats here, because 1) it's the easier sell, and 2) that asshole from the '72 Dolphins who basically says "y'all aint shit! y'all ain't shit!" every year will finally be denied his television time for good.
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Cheerin' Giants, resigned to a Patriot rout.
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I'm gonna throw in with the Pats here, because 1) it's the easier sell, and 2) that asshole from the '72 Dolphins who basically says "y'all aint shit! y'all ain't shit!" every year will finally be denied his television time for good.
That guy is Mercury Morris and he was in jail for cocaine trafficking. I have been routing both for and against the Pats since the week after the Redskins game. Not just because of Fantasy either.
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I will be cheering the hell out of the Giants for the next two weeks, right up until the Patriots score 21 points in the first 3 minutes. At that point I will turn off the TV, go outside and take a walk through the park.
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Fuck it. Go Jints.
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Double-post, sure, but let me ask y'all this:
If you were a football coach, what are the odds you'd take a job with my personal favorite team, the Chargers? Let's see - last year they finished with the best record in the AFC and the head coach got the hook. This year, they played in the AFC championship, and they fired two coaches. The WRs coach? Gone. And, the guy who coached 'em up to having the rushing title this year (RBs coach)? Also gone. Jesus. WTF?
Coffee's for closers, motherfucker.
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Looking back on that game, Nab, I'm astonished at how safely it was coached... now granted, their offensive key players were mangled but... you can't win friends with salad and you can't beat the Patriots with field goals.
I have to assume that those were the calls of the offensive coordinator and headcoach, though.
Perfect storm in an imperfect world. Definitely not the fault of the positional coaches, though.
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Looking back on that game, Nab, I'm astonished at how safely it was coached... now granted, their offensive key players were mangled but... you can't win friends with salad and you can't beat the Patriots with field goals.
I have to assume that those were the calls of the offensive coordinator and headcoach, though.
Perfect storm in an imperfect world. Definitely not the fault of the positional coaches, though.
Yeah. I'd say that was an example of throwing a couple guys under the bus. Those guys called zero plays and coached the shit out of some great players. If Michael Turner isn't starting for another team next year I will be stunned.
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The writing at Fire Joe Morgan can be pretty hit or miss (like any time they use the woefully pointless WHIP to back up their arguments about a pitcher), but they hit the nail right on the head (http://www.firejoemorgan.com/2008/01/does-this-mean-anything.html) with this latest response to Woody Paige's mind-boggling column on Brett Favre. Holy fuck is that thing a trainwreck.
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Looking back on that game, Nab, I'm astonished at how safely it was coached... now granted, their offensive key players were mangled but... you can't win friends with salad and you can't beat the Patriots with field goals.
Gregg Easterbrook went off on this, as I expected him to. The Chargers punted three times in Patriots' territory, most gallingly at the Pats' 36, 4th and 10, down 9 with 9:36 to go. Yeah, 4th and 10 is rough, but WTF.
Also, Hitler is a Cowboys fan. (http://fantasyhotlist.blogspot.com/2008/01/nfl-sdowdown-grrm-vs-pat.html)
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Gregg Easterbrook went off on this, as I expected him to. The Chargers punted three times in Patriots' territory, most gallingly at the Pats' 36, 4th and 10, down 9 with 9:36 to go. Yeah, 4th and 10 is rough, but WTF.
Also, Hitler is a Cowboys fan. (http://fantasyhotlist.blogspot.com/2008/01/nfl-sdowdown-grrm-vs-pat.html)
Oh I was hell of screaming at the TV on those punts, believe me. "How many more fuck*ng games are there if you don't win this one, assholes?"
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Gregg Easterbrook went off on this, as I expected him to. The Chargers punted three times in Patriots' territory, most gallingly at the Pats' 36, 4th and 10, down 9 with 9:36 to go. Yeah, 4th and 10 is rough, but WTF.
Also, Hitler is a Cowboys fan. (http://fantasyhotlist.blogspot.com/2008/01/nfl-sdowdown-grrm-vs-pat.html)
That is simply amazing.
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I have just passed this one along to a Mets message board filled with Giants fans.
I am sure they will love it.
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Did everyone see the Dallas-Giants yawn remix? I can't find it presently.
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http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2651563
haha
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I saw that on a blog somewhere a while ago. It was directly after the game where Rivers came and sat down next to him and he got right up. Of course, it would be better if he was wearing the helmet w/visor and the heavy coat.*
*Bit ganked from KSK or Deadspin.
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Yeah, I saw it at KSK, I think that is where you got that.
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Yeah, I saw it at KSK, I think that is where you got that.
Sometimes I gank bits, if I think they are worthy.
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I saw that on a blog somewhere a while ago. It was directly after the game where Rivers came and sat down next to him and he got right up. Of course, it would be better if he was wearing the helmet w/visor and the heavy coat.*
*Bit ganked from KSK or Deadspin.
yea theyre definitely forgetting that ridiculous costume he wears on the bench.
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LaDanian has light-sensitivity issues. That's why he wears the visor. It's also why he wears the big heavy coat, because light can seep in through his skin.
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I'd like examples of other players who went from "that guy seems totally honorable and basically evidence of all that is right in sports" to "fuck that whining piece-of-shit bastard" in a matter of basically one season.
Bueller?
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See, I see LT's good-person-ness and his hibernating while his team was losing as being connected. He's regarded as a Good Guy because he keeps to himself, doesn't get in trouble and just generally keeps his head on straight. When his team was losing, his reserved demeanor was refelcted in him just sitting there and keeping to himself. A guy like Jeremy Shockey would be going apeshit right then. Just hell of pumping up his teammates and getting them going. Then again, he also goes out and does stupid shit and says ridiculous things about the gays, etc. Who's the better person?
Edit: Uhh... I think I missed the point. You guys are complaining about him whining post-game instead of just freeznig himself in carbonite while his team was losing? Whatever. I don't know football.
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Shaun Alexander?
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I'd like examples of other players who went from "that guy seems totally honorable and basically evidence of all that is right in sports" to "fuck that whining piece-of-shit bastard" in a matter of basically one season.
Scott Rolen, at least in Philly.
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Scott Rolen, at least in Philly.
And in St. Louis. And in two years, Toronto.
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I figured there would be some in other sports that I didn't know about. Shaun A. is an interesting example, because I am definitely hearing fans give up on him, and people did like him before. That whole 'taking the money and not running' thing.
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So, the Mariners -- my Mariners -- just traded for the best non-Johan pitcher in the AL, and I'm thoroughly depressed about it. Does that make sense? Erik Bedard is amazing, no doubt about it. But this team isn't that good. The 88 wins last year was a pretty big fluke, so trading away our number one prospect for a couple years of being the second best team in the worst division in the AL? And then watching him leave through free agency? Not my idea of a good trade.
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If it really is the worst division in the NL, it shouldn't take that much to propel a team into contention. If not for the division, at least for the wild card--more games against the likes of Oakland and Texas should improve the M's chances, as opposed to the Yankees and Red Sox having to beat up on each other so much.
But I thought I read this morning that the Orioles are denying there's been a trade.
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The Orioles are denying it because that's what you do until you announce it. It will be announced soon.
But my point was the M's are nowhere near as good as the Angels even with Bedard. All the trade gets them is the ignoble honor of being the second best team in the AL's worst division. Now, if they were the second best team in the East of the Central, they might be in the race for the wild Card, because that winner is almost certainly coming out of either of those two divisions. But nope. They're in the West. They traded the future for two years of Not Quite Enough.
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I figured there would be some in other sports that I didn't know about. Shaun A. is an interesting example, because I am definitely hearing fans give up on him, and people did like him before. That whole 'taking the money and not running' thing.
Kevan Barlow
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Kevan Barlow
Oh Jesus, was he ever good to begin with, though? I had him on a fantasy team one year, and I don't believe he ever even turned in a solid week's worth of production.
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Once Hearst retired, we sure hoped so. He got a fat contract based on his backup work and was touted as the second coming of Rickey Watters - then sat on his ass for a season before getting traded to the Jets or something. For dick.
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Once Hearst retired, we sure hoped so. He got a fat contract based on his backup work and was touted as the second coming of Rickey Watters - then sat on his ass for a season before getting traded to the Jets or something. For dick.
Sounds like Natrone Means.
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My... my team traded one of the best outfield prospects in the game for Ryan Church and Brian Schneider.
I am sorry for your Mariners but... here, look at me, Milledge-less. This is true woe.
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That was definitely a shitty move. But (please don't take this the wrong way) Lastings was never the prospect Adam Jones is. The main difference between the two is Jones being capable of playing a Gold Glove centerfield. Lastings has a great bat, but the dude is a corner 4 lyfe.
Also, you have David Wright. David Wright!
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Holy fuck. Looks like the Twins saw LFM's post, felt bad for him, and decided to send Johan Santana to the Mets for a pretty underwhelming crop of prospects.
http://www.usatoday.com/sports/baseball/2008-01-29-twins-mets-santana_N.htm
Way to go, LFM.
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fuck
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I'm happy. Johan's out of the AL. Works for me.
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I bet Johan likes the deal, too. He gets to go to a team with deep pockets (big time extension!), that plays in the NL (JV batters!), and plays half their games in a pitcher's park (shinier ERA!).
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I put $30 to win 20 on the over 1m42s national anthem bet. Sing your heart out, bitch.
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Man, FUCK the Mets.
Love,
Nationals and Phillies fans
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I put $30 to win 20 on the over 1m42s national anthem bet. Sing your heart out, bitch.
You put anything on the "tom petty will smoke a joint at halftime" line.
http://vegaswatch.net/2008/01/most-ridiculous-super-bowl-xlii-props.html
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Maybe he had some money on the prop bet and had to make sure he was under.
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Yes, Milledge isn't a centrefielder... but Beltran'll admit that maybe he would be less injury-prone if he played a corner basically when Dane Cook is funny... so no centrefielder is needed anytime soon. He'll be an above-average corner infielder and he'll develop one hell of a bat.
And the Nationals needn't cry too much... they are totally climbing the ladder on catchers and rightfielders.
They moved up from the one-dimensional Ryan Church to the dynamic Lastings Milledge.
They moved up from the ridiculously bad Brian Schneider to the broken-down Paul LoDuca to the probably-an-asshole-but-he-can-hit Estrada.
...the Mets, Santana or not, moved right down that ladder in both cases.
Fuck, man, we could'a had Estrada and Milledge with Santana and instead we got... Church and Scheinder, eight-hole-hitters both, alike in lack of dignity.
BLAH.
It would be one thing to have given up Milledge FOR Santana, that I could at least GET but... blah.
fuck*ng blah.
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Your team just had Johan Santana for a song and you're complaining about losing a former top prospect who's taken some massive steps back since first making a name for himself? You realize he generated that buzz when the jury was still out on his defense and people assumed he would become a center-fielder, right? His bat, though good, isn't terribly special for a left-fielder.
I mean, geez, you still have your best prospect with Fernando Martinez -- who will likely turn into the better player than Milledge!
Be happy. The Mariners are trying to acquire Erik Bedard with a substantially better package and the Orioles still want more.
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This team just has no offense!
You pitch around Beltran Wright and Reyes (if Beltran is healthy and Reyes isn't being streaky at the moment) and you are left with...
Moises Alou, who can still hit when he's healthy but he's never healthy. Lucky to get 80 games.
The ghost of Luis Castillo, who is trying to set some kind of record by having an AVG of .280, an OBP of .280 and a SLG of .280 all at the same time... the emptiest kind of singles hitter along with his deteriorating defense and deteriorated speed because of his shot knees.
The ghost of Carlos Delgado, who will be lucky to hit .250 with 20 homeruns he's so spent.
Ryan Church, who could be struck out by your gramma provided she's a southpaw.
Brian Schneider, who could be struck out by your gramma provided she is conscious.
The Mets have a superb lead-off hitter in Reyes, three-hitter in Beltran and clean-up hitter in Wright... Alou will be a solid five hitter until he goes out for the season in May and then...
Nothing. A bunch of number eight hitters.
If they had kept Milledge and Estrada, they would've at least had two legitimate complimentary hitters to plug in at the two and the six (or five once Moises is down) to hit .280-.290 with a decent amount of extra bases on top of that.
Hide the shambling husks of Castillo and Delgado down by the pitcher and hope for the best.
Great pitching is wonderful but if you can't score any runs, it doesn't mean a thing.
The woe of losing Milledge is less that he could be an All-Star in three years and more that he could've been a decent support bat in 2008 but no.
No, Minaya likes his "good clubhouse guys" and his fuck*ng Expos.
Getting Santana is three steps forward, definitely.
But pretending that Schneider and Church as major-league starters and locking in Castillo long term, they set themselves back two steps earlier in the off-season.
So it is... y'know... it negates some of that Santana bounce.
This is all I'm saying.
The Mets spent the off-season wrecking themselves offensively and so the huge upgrade in starting pitching is somewhat cancelled out.
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You pitch around Beltran Wright and Reyes (if Beltran is healthy and Reyes isn't being streaky at the moment) and you are left with...
Yeah, let's intentionally walk three guys every time through the order! Great idea! That lineup sucks!
Ryan Church is not as bad as you're making him out to be. There's been much speculation in Nats land over the past three years that he just wasn't getting a fair shake. In 2005 he ended a game by catching a fly ball while crashing into a wall in Pittsburgh, and hurt himself on the play. But cranky octogenarian Frank Robinson didn't believe he was hurt, and questioned Church's "toughness" when Church said he couldn't play. That put him in Frank's doghouse, and Church didn't get enough at-bats in 2005 or 2006. Last year he got more PT and had stretches where he played really well. Not saying he's the next coming of Ty Cobb or anything, but he's a solid ballplayer.
Now, Brian Schneider... seems like a great guy, and he's a great defensive catcher who handles the pitching staff really well. But yeah, he hits like .220 with little power.
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In 2007, Church hit less than .230 against left-handed pitching.
In 2007, Schneider hit .235 against all pitchers, .212 against lefties.
If those guys are bench pieces, that's fine.
Schneider would be a fine back-up defensive catcher, he's above-average-if-overrated defensively, no doubt about it. Church off the bench as a fourth outfielder/pinch-hitter/defensive-replacement would be a nice little chip to have.
Delgado's a .250 hitter now and I can't imagine anyone signing him for anything other than a flyer in '09... Castillo had 25 XBH in 550 ABs and his leg is deteriorating... Alou can still swing but, man, he can't keep his health together at all anymore.
The Mets are going to look great in the brief stretches when everybody's healthy, no dizzle-bizzle, but...
Once they're a little dinged up, man, just stick a southpaw up there and it doesn't matter if Santana throws a one-run complete game... they still lose 1-0.
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Like Carlos said, you don't pitch around three guys.
Moises Alou, he's a risk, but a fine hitter when healthy.
Luis Castillo an empty singles hitter? You're sure you're not thinking of the San Diego Charger Luis Castillo? Because the second baseman holds a career .368 OBP, and was only 6 points off that average last season. Granted, he's not the gold-glover he used to be, but the guy is great at drawing walks. Stick him in the 2-hole behind Reyes and you've got a nifty 1-2 combo.
Ryan Church you're underselling, but you're pretty right on with Schneider. (That wasn't a great trade, but Milledge was a stalled prospect. You weren't going to get a great return for him.)
You're vastly underrating this team's offense. They finished 4th in the NL last year in runs per game, despite playing in a pitcher's park. The teams ahead of them? Philadelphia, Atlanta and Colorado. 2 of 3 play in awfully friendly hitter's environments.
The 4th best offense in the NL and a rotation led by Johan Santana? Yes, please.
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Like I say. Getting Santana is great. Great!
But we could'a had Estrada and Milledge in the line-up supporting Santana and we got...
Church and Schneider in that line-up.
There's still a net gain because Santana is such an upgrade but... yeah.
It is tempered by having one-half a bat between those two positions now because Omar Minaya has a raging jag-on for Expos and "nice team chemistry guys" who have no fuck*ng talent other than being nice fuck*ng team fuck*ng chemistry fuck*ng fuck fuck fuck fucks.
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We'll agree to disagree on Milledge, but Estrada? Come on. Dude's OPS was only 37 points higher than Schneider's last year -- and guess who played in the cavernous park? Not the one you're complaining over losing.
Seriously, dude. Fernando Martinez. You still have him. Be joyous.
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I am actually the PNW transplant living in the SFBA. It's nice because as incompetently-run as the Mariners are, I can always take solace in the face that they're not nearly as bad as the Giants. There's a bad team that's going to be bad for a very long time.
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I think the problem is that I am jonsing for baseball. Badly.
This "dudes crippling each other over a pig" thing has gotten old, my college's basketball team sucks and the NHL and the NBA don't mean anything until the second round of the playoffs.
A dude is hurting.
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Hey, the NCAA doesn't mean anything until March.
I will not take another answer.
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I'm jonesing pretty bad for baseball, too. I'm not much more than a casual NFL fan, and though I'm usually a ravenous NBA fan, I've kind of fallen out of touch with it now that I live two states away from my favorite team (and potentially more than that if/when they move to OKC). Plus there's the fact that I can never watch cable TV since my roommate has fuck*ng Family Guy re-runs on 24/7.
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Oh lord that is horrible. You really do need to move out of there.
Also, the Sonics are coming to OKC just as I am leaving for a real city and the Hornets are doing awesome so I am getting screwed on this deal too.
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Dear god, I wish I was a betting man. Someone got rich off that game.
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In less than two weeks, this thread will be a year old. I've been so eagerly anticipating baseball season that I've actually gone back and re-read the first dozen or so pages of this thread. Man, we were like a bunch of retards trying to hump a doorknob back then. All hell of not knowing how fantasy baseball works, all hell of pulling off terrible player transactions.
When we do this season's league, we should definitely auto-draft again. I love the reactions all of us had to our randomly-generated teams.
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If anyone bails on the baseball league this season, I want in.
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No no, no one is bailing.
Please, no one bail?
This is definitely a more the merrier thing. Two more people would be two more awesome.
Four would be four more.
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I thought four was 'for whores'?
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It appears that Yahoo Fantasy Baseball is totally open for setting up leagues again.
...someone set up a league again. Please do this.
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Who was it that assumed control of the league halfway through last leason? Was that Keith? If he's willing, I will throw my vote behind him.
Of course, that's just a way of saying I'd like someone besides myself to do the hard work of creating a league. God knows the commisoners don't have any realy responsibility in a free Yahoo league once the season gets going.
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It appears that Yahoo Fantasy Baseball is totally open for setting up leagues again.
...someone set up a league again. Please do this.
Is your penis finger broken or something?
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I don't want to set it up because... well...
I am certain that I would look at all the rules one would set up at the beginning as commissioner and pick every single possible little variation on commissioneering that could possibly give me an edge and...
When I know I would cheat at something given a certain set of chances, I maintain my personal morality by avoiding the situation wherein I would not be able to control myself.
"I have a competition in me. I... drink... your... MILKSHAKE! I DRINK IT UP!"
And so on.
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I did it last year, I can do it again I guess.
I'll give it a couple days, lets say wed; tell me if you want a draft or auto pick, who is playing, any rules you want, all of that. Also, if someone does it before wed, well, they can do it but I want in.
Edit: last year it was just their rules I think, and that worked alright. I don't really remember anything that could be better, but I am sure someone does.
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If we could draft on a Thursday or a Sunday, if you pick a draft with a manual element, that'd be great as those are my days off.
Other than that, all I'd ask is as large a league as possible and to be relatively close to last year's rules.
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I thoroughly support the idea of doing it just how we did it last year*. Same rules, same playoffs, same auto-draft.
*Full disclosure: I won last year. Perhaps you heard?
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So here's my question: how much work does fantasy baseball entail? Fantasy football, you could do decently with an investment of about 20 minutes a week (reference: me). But they only played two days a week until the bitter end, and even then it was all clustered where you could squeeze it in Tuesday or Wednesday. How does the fantasy baseball rate? How do they handle the pitching position? Convince me it won't require more of my time than Kingdom of Loathing did when someone brought it up (http://touamb.com/index.php/topic,1116.0.html) in here, and I'll join on.
There's also fantasy auto racing, if y'all are interested... hey, hey, where are you all going? Get back here!
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Once your team is all set up, the day to day maintenance is just... looking at the schedule to see which of your players might have an off-day that day and plug in your subs if your usual starters are off if they're in and... to see which of your starting pitchers are starting and plug them into your day's active line-up.
Like five minutes or something a day, maybe a little less on some, maybe a little more on others (like Monday and Thursday when some of the teams will have travel days and so on) and then...
Every once in a while, put in a half hour to juggle free agents into your roster or to consider trades but... that's completely optional and often makes you worse through overthinking, such as I did, not better.
It's not much more than a fantasy football commitment, though it is spread out over the week more in little tiny slices because there are at least some of your players playing every day.
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So is Clemens in jail yet?
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I'm guessing I won't be able to get away with trading Roger Clemens this year.
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Fuck, I forgot all about fantasy baseball. When I said I would do it today I didn't realize I was moving a couple states over on Friday and packing and stuff today. Uh, I can still do it, but maybe not until early next week or something. I mean, we have a month and a half right? Someone else set it up if you want.
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I... I am jonsing here. I am shivering in the corner. My skin is hell of chalky looking.
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Oh yeah... opening a Mets blog and finding out that neither Beltran nor El Duque is healthy going into the spring, that definitely makes it hurt less...
No...
No, actually it makes it worse.
*going crazier than usual*
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Cheer up! It's that good time of year where the morning paper has spring training coverage for the local team(s) and you can jones out over the morning cuppa and raise your hopes to dizzying heights without the crushing reality of April bringing the truth home.
I think I would be more depressed if I ever found myself getting baseball news from the newspaper.
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(Does anyone remember what 'second division' means)
[hand up]
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Listen to the whipper-snapper! The morning paper lets you get through local, editorial, comics and sports in a format both sharable and safe. Try plonking the laptop on the table in front of a two year old that has a good plunking arm and a ready supply of food (ammo).
Plus, it's a good thing to share a paper between you and a child and share a laugh over the funnies.
ALSO: Notice I didn't reference all my sports news coming from the paper. It's almost lunch time so I guess I'll go do my daily troll through SI.Com.
But Hey! If newsprint makes hives grow on your ass, so be it. I figure you're just sour because your home and adopted area teams are heading straight towards the second division.
(Does anyone remember what 'second division' means)
Hee hee, I was half-kidding. The newspaper is fine. I realize it's a little tough to pore over The Hardball Times (http://hardballtimes.com/) at the breakfast table. But if you're getting the majority of your sports news from the paper, you're missing out -- that's my point.
(Also, is second division like when an English soccer club gets banished to the land of wind and ghosts after a bad season? I think that's what it means. That's definitely where the SF Giants are going, but for as much as I complain about my Mariners, they did win 88 games last year.)
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The Hardball Times is far and away the best site on the Internet for baseball writing. For stats, it's baseball-reference.com.
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Did somebody say "baseball writing?"
I recommend Joe Posnanski (http://joeposnanski.com/JoeBlog) and Cardboard Gods (http://cardboardgods.baseballtoaster.com/).
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So uh, I am going to be pretty busy in real life. I am out. Sorry.
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If KH is unable to roll this ball, I nominate LFM for commissioner.
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Me too. Except I stand by my auto-draft opinion. The added randomness really makes the season interesting and balances things out for those who aren't such ravenous baseball zealots.
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If the electorate calls my name, I'll stand up, I s'pose.
I'll have to figure out how the hell one sets one up, then.