The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Trivial Pursuits => Wild Card => Topic started by: rowboat on December 03, 2009, 10:12:03 pm
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...in which I had a mind-blowing epiphany that They Might Be Giants' eponymous debut was essentially an exact rip-off of U2's Boy. When I woke up I was all excited for about 8 seconds thinking that I'd just blown the lid off some decades-old sham. Of course, by the 9th second I was all, like, "WHAAAAT!?"
[The Moral: Don't believe everything that you figure out in your dreams.]
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In my dream last night, the village of Cooperstown had devolved into a David Lynchian nightmarescape and I kept getting murdered by alive gargoyles and having my car stolen by shady hotel-workers. Everytime I got killed, I woke up at the beginning of the dream again but anything that got stolen from me was still missing, it was like dying in a video game, it was a real goddamned hassle.
One of my friends from high school, his dad was dying in a bed and was convinced that I was my uncle Pete for some reason. I think he might've been the high school psychologist when Pete was in school, I'm not sure, the "real" version of the guy died a year and a half ago but in the dream, he was just starting to die. It was just a bad scene.
It is important to note that where I come from, "Cooperstown" does not mean "Baseball Hall of Fame", "Cooperstown" means "the place with the rich peoples' hospital and if you go there, it probably means you've gone crazy or you're going to die and they've sent you to the rich peoples' hospital as a last ditch effort".
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In my dream last night, the village of Cooperstown had devolved into a David Lynchian nightmarescape and I kept getting murdered by alive gargoyles and having my car stolen by shady hotel-workers....
That sounds awful. You should smoke more weed. I used to be plagued by really long, involved nightmares, too. Now most of my dreams are very short and inoffensive. This began as soon as I started smoking regularly.
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Yeah, back when that sort of thing was compatible with my lifestyle, a lot more of my dreams were either:
a.) I am stalked and murdered horribly by shotgun and then I wake up screaming.
or
b.) I meet a girl I wanted to have sex with when I was in high school and then I have sex with her.
Things were simpler then.
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Yeah, back when that sort of thing was compatible with my lifestyle....
Unless you're a rich brain surgeon or something, I can't imagine that a life in which a little weed here and there is incompatible is any kind of life worth living.
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... Crazy dream...
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a.) I am stalked and murdered horribly by shotgun and then I wake up screaming.
I sometimes have dreams that People are after me for some reason, usually because I am a spy. There is a lot of fear in these dreams, but also a lot of cool stuff because I have amazing physical abilities like the chick from Alias.
I also have a sort of a lot of dreams that involve being in a concentration camp and being separated from my children. While the action-movie dreams are scary, they are also sort of fun to remember afterwards. The concentration camp dreams are unmitigated horror, and it's rare that I'm able to go back to sleep that night.
It's strange, but sometimes I have nightmares that are so bad I crawl into bed with one of my kids, instead of the other way around.
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I've only had one flying dream in my whole life, about two years ago. In it, I was sitting on a small, flat, black plastic slab with a molded seat and two metal handles, one on each side. I could steer by gripping the handles and leaning one way or the other. It was such a blast. I would love to have another turn at flying someday.
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i used to be able to have lucid dreams, where i controlled the outcomes. as a result i had a ton of flying dreams, for years. i loved them. since i met the missus, i rarely remember a dream - maybe once or twice a year - and when i do, there's no outcome at all, just a bunch of random associations. i think this is because i wasn't happy back then, but working on finding out how to be, and then she pulled me out of my years-long doldrums; since i was happy awake (still am), i didn't need the dreams to keep me sane. that's just my disgusting romantic side, i guess.
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i used to be able to have lucid dreams, ...
Benadryl. Take three or more right before bed, wake up with early alarm, fall back asleep. This method has worked 90% of the time for me. You'll feel hungover until you drink some coffee.
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It's strange, but sometimes I have nightmares that are so bad I crawl into bed with one of my kids, instead of the other way around.
I've slept on the floor in my daughter's room (maybe twice?) for similar reasons. Her loft bed won't take adult weight. Usually I can content myself with touching her face or foot.
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I've slept on the floor in my daughter's room (maybe twice?) for similar reasons. Her loft bed won't take adult weight. Usually I can content myself with touching her face or foot.
wut
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You'll feel hungover until you drink some coffee.
so... like normal, then
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I've slept on the floor in my daughter's room (maybe twice?) for similar reasons. Her loft bed won't take adult weight. Usually I can content myself with touching her face or foot.
That is sweet and wonderful.
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(http://touamb.com/index.php?action=dlattach;attach=803;type=avatar)
OMG I had completely forgotten about this image.
So awesome.
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... Dreamed that I was visiting Alexandria. It had nothing to do with the real place, of course. In the dream it was just the equivalent to "An Important Place From History". It looked amazing, though, in a very hard to define way. It was dawn, and there were long stretches of flat golden land, and then some sort of Island/cave formation with a strange light and the bluest waters I've ever seen. Something illogical, out of a crazied video game level. It felt very nice to be there, Important. There was a kid playing in one of the side walls. He came nearer to me and said "I want Time to remember my name". And I said to him. "You have to do great, terrible things". Quite appropriate, given the scenario.
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There was a kid playing in one of the side walls. He came nearer to me and said "I want Time to remember my name". And I said to him. "You have to do great, terrible things".
Cann'd for sending chills down my spine.
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Yeah, I'm pretty sure there is a movie in there.
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Great minds, dude. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cultural_depictions_of_Alexander_the_Great#Film)
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....that I went to borrow my uncle's car. It was huge. I mean, not as big as, like, Bigfoot, but much larger than a big-ass truck you'd see on the street. It was fitted with a huge apparatus that was like a cowcatcher but was actually a row of long, thick blades. When I tried to drive it away, I found that there were about eight pedals and none of them was a brake. So I'd start moving and then I'd just have to roll to a stop. The problem was, much like in real life, my uncle's property was rampant with feral cats and dogs. Only in the dream they were literally everywhere. Everytime I started moving, one would run out in front of the vehicle and there was nothing I could do to stop so I would just plow through whatever was in the way. Then I'd slowly roll to a stop, get out and go back to see if whatever I hit was OK. Of course, because I was driving an enormous truck with about twenty six-foot-long swords protruding from the grill, whatever I hit was invariably utterly ripped to pieces and smashed, though not always dead. Cats, dogs, deer, rabbits. This kept happening and every time I couldn't stop myself from getting out and seeing these horrific messes. Sometimes it would be entire animal families. Still squirming and kicking. Looking at me.
First nightmare in at least a year and the worst in several.
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First nightmare in at least a year and the worst in several.
This is...horrible. I'm glad it was just a bad dream.
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This is...horrible. I'm glad it was just a bad dream.
yeah, dude, dont tell rob zombie, or itll be in his next movie.
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I had a dream last night that everyone in my office park had to dress and act like people in colonial time, like with wigs and everything. But whenever there was say 2 or three of us separated from the general population we would immediately revert to our normal personalities and wonder why everyone else was putting up with the whole charade. At lunch we had to wear blindfolds to enter the cafeteria and when I tried to use colonial jargon to explain a trading strategy, a large loud woman yelled "HE HAS NO CONCEPT OF WHICH HE SPEAKS, ALL HE UNDERSTANDS IS MUSTARD!"
~fin~
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I had a dream that Pedro was The Doctor and I was his companion, and he was explaining to me how the space goo (which was sentient, but not living - this was very important) clinging to the bottom of my minivan was making it levitate by bending, but not quite breaking, the law of conservation of matter.
I didn't really care how it worked, I just wanted it to go away because it's very difficult to parallel park a levitating minivan.
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I had a dream that Pedro was The Doctor and I was his companion, and he was explaining to me how the space goo (which was sentient, but not living - this was very important) clinging to the bottom of my minivan was making it levitate by bending, but not quite breaking, the law of conservation of matter.
I didn't really care how it worked, I just wanted it to go away because it's very difficult to parallel park a levitating minivan.
I would think you could just get out and nudge it gently with your hands into the space.
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... That Christian Slater and John Travolta were dancing assassins with a Dean Martin / Jerry Lewis -type relationship. And then I had sex with the girl that Christian was going to have sex with, and he got mad at me, and he turned into Christian Bale and yelled at me.
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I had a dream last night that everyone in my office park had to dress and act like people in colonial time, like with wigs and everything. But whenever there was say 2 or three of us separated from the general population we would immediately revert to our normal personalities and wonder why everyone else was putting up with the whole charade. At lunch we had to wear blindfolds to enter the cafeteria and when I tried to use colonial jargon to explain a trading strategy, a large loud woman yelled "HE HAS NO CONCEPT OF WHICH HE SPEAKS, ALL HE UNDERSTANDS IS MUSTARD!"
~fin~
I laughed so hard at this!
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I just watched John Adams, so I'm totally seeing this.
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I dreamt that I went to see The Hold Steady in concert, and they covered My Sharona. It was amazing, and if I had the musical wherewithall to do so, I could've transcribed the entire arrangement upon waking. I could even sorta hear it in the back of my mind all weekend.
Then last night, I dreamt of a unified theory that completely explained the show Lost; the majority of the dream was fact-checking against my memory of all of the episodes, and being delighted that it all worked. I remember nothing of the theory.
I need to focus on things besides pop culture.
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I need to focus on things besides pop culture.
I thoroughly disagree.
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that reminds me of this dream I had a few weeks ago where I found a 45 with a cover of Be My Baby (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ONH3hIjO3c) by Tiger Trap (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=km9VJgSKEPg). It sounded EXACTLY like it would sound if they did this song. It was awesome. Then this weird 1980s-hipster drank robitussin out of a tiny tea cup, and then ate the teacup. it ended up the tea cups were made of sugar/candy.
For some reason all the recordings I can find of Tiger Trap online sound really weird. Maybe because I have only listened to it on a scratchy old record? It sounds really fast on here. Almost to the degree that i think I have been playing it on the wrong speed or something.
whoa! actually, last night I had a dream that I saw Bob Dylan live, and he covered Wagon Wheel (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1gX1EP6mG-E). And I was like, "weird, because this song was based on a bob dylan out-take."
Then the second band came on, a cover band of musicians from big classic rock bands (the one I remember is Steve Tyler). As I was walking away, my friend said "I can't believe Brian Wilson is performing!" and I was disappointed that he would play with the dude from Aerosmith.
Then I tried to find the bathroom and there was this big weird bowling alley in there.
Wagon Wheel is a song that I love, and then I listen to the recording and do not love it as much. When my friends at summer camp played it on guitar, though, it was tops. I think I played that song over 100 times that summer.
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I never got to see Brian Wilson perform because I wrecked my car on the way to the show.
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just woke up from a terror-dream where this girl who I am having personal issues with lately (due to this funny thing where she likes to be a C*** to my girlfriend) stole all of our money, to teach us a lesson about how some people don't have parents who pay their rent. So we were going to be evicted. She was really aggressive about how we should not be mad, it was just a lesson we had to learn. And then she wanted me to drive her someplace, and I only had enough money in my pocket to take my car out of the garage to drive her, but I had to do it to prove I wasn't an asshole. Somehow.
In real-life news, my roommate wants to date this girl, which can only end in horrible horrible hijinks. Like, the "our girlfriends can't be in the house at the same time" ones. THIS WILL END IN TEARS.
also, it would be weird if we were both dating ex-girlfriends of the same guy.
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My SIL and her then-roommate moved to Miami right out of college, but they didn't know anybody except each other. They met this guy at a club. They were both interested and SIL said "go for it." Roomie never called him. Guy called SIL and asked her out. They started dating, but Roomie wouldn't let them be in the house when she was there due to jealousy. It sucked horribly.
Happy ending: SIL and Guy got married and he's great, and Roomie made an ass of herself at the wedding and is miserably unhappy because she's a bitch who drives men away.
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we already had this horrible interaction where he invited this girl over without telling me, not realizing that my girlfriend was asleep in my room. This nearly ended with "girlfriend hiding under the bed" type solutions because she got so freaked out that this girl was here. It is a bad scene.
It ended, instead, with him walking in and seeing us sitting there and yelling at me, and then telling the visitor that I was asleep.
Then we sat there in my bed for like an hour until she left. Oops.
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...in which I recieved sound advice from Tupac Shakur, Stoya, and a stegosaurus. When I woke up, I could no longer remember what they had told me.
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I have had dreams where the most profoud, deepest secrets and realities of the world, the very names of God, etc have been revealed. Damned if I can remember them when I wake up.
Also, I put a big sack of cash behind my bedroom door once. I had to check twice the next morning to make sure it was just a dream.
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Last night I dreamt that somebody loved me. Don't worry, it was just a false alarm. No harm.
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Last night I dreamt that somebody loved me. Don't worry, it was just a false alarm. No harm.
Old story, but it goes on.
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I wish we could know what the stegosaurus said.
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Probably the same thing that the walrus and the dorpenis said.
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I had one of those dizzy, sick headaches tonight, and when Pedro got home from work I took a two-hour nap. I dreamed that I was on a rowboat, and I could actually feel it listing and pitching in the water. It was terrible.
Feeling OK now, though. Yay, sleep.
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Over New Years, I had a dream where all of the problems in my life were either fixed or undone and all of the fruits of that happiness were laid out before me and...
It was just crushing to wake up.
Felt like I was being messed with, somehow.
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I dreamed last night that my sister and I were inner-tubing on a water slide, which oddly enough ran through a high-end shopping mall in one spot. We had to run through ritzy department store in our swimsuits to get to the next leg of the waterslide, hauling our inner tubes with us. We got to the top of a steep set of stairs that would take us to the water again, and since we'd been in inner-tubing mode we naturally flung down on our inner tubes and prepared to slide down the stairs. My sister went first, and was "whee"ing down the staircase but suddenly she was flying through the air--the staircase only went halfway down, and ended about 25 feet above the floor below. She hit the ground hard, and her body hitting the marble floor in the hole through the inner tube made a sickening cracking sound. She started screaming--she had broken the lower end of her spine, at the top of the tailbone, and also her left arm, and was writhing in pain. I was stuck at the top of the staircase and couldn't find a way down to her. I woke up feeling physically ill. I was glad to wake up.
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[[sings]]
I dreamed last night I got on the boat to heaven
And by some chance I had brought my dice along
And there I stood
And I hollered "Someone fade me"
But the passengers, they knew right from wrong.
For the peopel all said sit down, sit down, you're rockin' the boat
People all said sit down
Sit down you're rockin' the boat.
And the devil will drag you under
By the sharp lapel of your checkered coat,
Sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down,
Sit down you're rockin' the boat.
I sailed away on that little boat to heaven
And by some chance found a bottle in my fist
And there I stood,Nicely passin' out the whisky
But the passengers were bound to resisist
For the people all said beware
You're on a heavenly trip
People all said beware
Beware, you'll scuttle the ship.
And the devil will drag you under
By the fancy tie 'round your wicked throat
Sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down
Sit down, you're rockin' the boat
And as I laughed at those passengers to heaven (laughs)
(gasps!) A great big wave came and washed me over board!
And as I sank And I hollered "someone save me!"
That's the moment I woke up Thank the lord
And I said to myself, sit down, sit down,
You're rockin' the boat!
Said to myself sit down, sit down, you're rockin' the boat
And the devil will drag you under With a soul so heavy you'd never float,
Sit down, sit down, sit down
Sit down, sit down, sit down, you're rockin' the boat
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I dreamed last night that my sister and I were inner-tubing on a water slide, which oddly enough ran through a high-end shopping mall in one spot. We had to run through ritzy department store in our swimsuits to get to the next leg of the waterslide, hauling our inner tubes with us. We got to the top of a steep set of stairs that would take us to the water again, and since we'd been in inner-tubing mode we naturally flung down on our inner tubes and prepared to slide down the stairs. My sister went first, and was "whee"ing down the staircase but suddenly she was flying through the air--the staircase only went halfway down, and ended about 25 feet above the floor below. She hit the ground hard, and her body hitting the marble floor in the hole through the inner tube made a sickening cracking sound. She started screaming--she had broken the lower end of her spine, at the top of the tailbone, and also her left arm, and was writhing in pain. I was stuck at the top of the staircase and couldn't find a way down to her. I woke up feeling physically ill. I was glad to wake up.
Dang, I thought that was gonna be one of those cool dreams where you can fly and do all kind of super hero shit. WTF, your sister broke her spine.
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I dreamed last night that my sister and I were inner-tubing on a water slide, which oddly enough ran through a high-end shopping mall in one spot. We had to run through ritzy department store in our swimsuits to get to the next leg of the waterslide, hauling our inner tubes with us. We got to the top of a steep set of stairs that would take us to the water again, and since we'd been in inner-tubing mode we naturally flung down on our inner tubes and prepared to slide down the stairs. My sister went first, and was "whee"ing down the staircase but suddenly she was flying through the air--the staircase only went halfway down, and ended about 25 feet above the floor below. She hit the ground hard, and her body hitting the marble floor in the hole through the inner tube made a sickening cracking sound. She started screaming--she had broken the lower end of her spine, at the top of the tailbone, and also her left arm, and was writhing in pain. I was stuck at the top of the staircase and couldn't find a way down to her. I woke up feeling physically ill. I was glad to wake up.
!!
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Dang, I thought that was gonna be one of those cool dreams where you can fly and do all kind of super hero shit. WTF, your sister broke her spine.
God, yeah, I know! Just re-reading it, I'm tearing up! She and I had dinner last night and she was fine, though. I didn't tell her the dream I'd had that morning.
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it probably just means that you worried about her well-being in general, as opposed to being worried about her becoming injured or ill, specifically.
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I only seem to remember my dreams when I wake up in the morning and then doze for a little while. They're always weirdly intense when I do that too.
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plus it would just piss them off, their armor's too thick
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Don't shoot a sasquatch, dammit! I don't care if it's in season, you need to bring it back alive.
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Spouse woke me up asking if I was stroking out on her.
I had to read that three times before it wasn't dirty.
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Come on, Ash, if anyone can do it, you can.
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...that I was at some sort of Pentecostal revival meeting, only it was all in Spanish. Mi espanol es muy pequito, so it was confusing. Then, a physically and developmentally teenager who I know from my church came walking(!) up to me, then suddenly lost his mobility again and I was obligated to help him into a standing position. Then he divided twice, so I was helping support three of him. I have this vague recollection of this being inconvenient because other people needed me to do things for them as well, and the armload o' cripples wasn't allowing me to do so, which made me so anxious that I woke up.
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i used to be able to have lucid dreams, where i controlled the outcomes. as a result i had a ton of flying dreams, for years. i loved them. since i met the missus, i rarely remember a dream - maybe once or twice a year - and when i do, there's no outcome at all, just a bunch of random associations.
Here's my lucid dream story: I used to have like one a week, they were fun. Then I heard or read something about lucid dreams where someone said, if you can look at your hands in a dream, you are able to have lucid dreams. (Don't think the hands were necessarily significant, just that you could take a specific instruction into a dream.)
So I was dreaming, and I had the thought, hey, wasn't I supposed to do something? And I was like, oh yeah, look at my hands. And I did. And then I started clapping -- I think at that point I was showing off.
And then my lucid dreams stopped.
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I dreamed that I got two more rescue pugs, and that was really too many pugs.
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...and the armload o' cripples wasn't allowing me to do so...
This. Made my day.
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Recurring nightmare from childhood:
An unseen person is pursuing myself and one other cohort (this person changes) up flight upon flight of stairs in an abandoned, rundown building. Wood stairs. Wood stairs that creek and thud with every step. If we are caught the pursuant will harm us horribly, in inspeakable ways I can't fathom. It's a slow, plodding methodical pursuit on the pursuant's part. For my cohort and I, it's impossible to climb the stairs silently. In some versions of the dream, the stairs are actually so dilapidated in parts that they fall apart under our weight as we climb, slowing us down all the more, and still the pursuant continues with a steady, unstoppable pace, slowly gaining on us. We continue to climb and eventually leave the stairs for an abandoned room with only a bare mattress on a frame of springs. We climb under the mattress knowing full well the pursuant heard us stop climbing and slip into this room. We hide there, cowering, hearts pounding in our ears, every breath loud as thunder. The pursuant enters the room, we see only feet and legs from our hiding spot. The pursuant approaches. The dread is palpable. The pursuant pauses, right in front of the mattress. I'm panicky with dread wondering: does the pursuant know we're here? Our breathing is too loud! Our hearts pounding so we can barely hear. The springs creak ever so slightly. At the moment the mattress is about to be torn off of us, I awake.
In another version, I awake at the moment the pursuant's hand clamps down on my shoulder.
The pursuant changes - most times I do not know who they are at all. All I ever glimpsed was an ambiguous pair of male or female legs, while once it was a witch from a book I read in grade one. I am always utterly terrified. My cohort is always someone I care about and don't want to see hurt - my sister, a childhood friend, one time it was Michael Jackson, who I had a crush on when I was very young. The dread and sense of doom is unbearable. I can still recall it like it was yesterday. I must have had that dream dozens of times, but only as a young child.
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Here's my lucid dream story: I used to have like one a week, they were fun. Then I heard or read something about lucid dreams where someone said, if you can look at your hands in a dream, you are able to have lucid dreams. (Don't think the hands were necessarily significant, just that you could take a specific instruction into a dream.)
The "look at your hands" thing is from Carlos Castaneda's Don Juan books.
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If we are caught the pursuant will harm us horribly, in inspeakable ways I can't fathom. It's a slow, plodding methodical pursuit on the pursuant's part.
This is very similar to my recurring bad dreams from younger days. The trappings are different, but the theme is almost identical.
I was usually chased through bland, institutional and anonymous modern buildings by a machine. It wasn't even a very imposing looking machine, but I dreaded being caught by it. I was usually with someone I loved -- normally a family member. Slow but relentless pursuit. Waking up just as capture was imminent.
I don't seem to have many lucid dreams anymore. I don't know why. Maybe I just don't remember them.
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For my cohort and I, it's impossible to climb the stairs silently. In some versions of the dream, the stairs are actually so dilapidated in parts that they fall apart under our weight as we climb, slowing us down all the more
I had this same recurrent nightmare, except that instead of trying to climb the stairs silently, I'm trying to do so quickly, but my feet feel like I'm slogging through wet cement. Also, I'm always alone.
I had this dream on a weekly basis until I was about twelve, when I suddenly realized halfway up the stairs that I was dreaming. I remembered that I always took the door at the end of the hall in previous versions of the dream, so this time I ducked into the door on the right. I hid under the bed, and the pursuant ran right past me. I never had the dream again.
Spooky.
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It's kind of a relief to know AW and JL have had similar dreams in childhood.
I've had several recurring dreams over a lifetime, but these were the most vivid for sure.
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My recurring childhood nightmare: my brother's room would turn into a cave, and a huge, multi-colored fluorescent worm would crawl out of it and wrap around me like a boa constrictor.
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This is very similar to my recurring bad dreams from younger days. The trappings are different, but the theme is almost identical.
I was usually chased through bland, institutional and anonymous modern buildings by a machine. It wasn't even a very imposing looking machine, but I dreaded being caught by it. I was usually with someone I loved -- normally a family member. Slow but relentless pursuit. Waking up just as capture was imminent.
I don't seem to have many lucid dreams anymore. I don't know why. Maybe I just don't remember them.
Mine was being pursued through a horrifyingly scary haunted house, stumbling into worse and worse terrors, pursued by both a vampire and a wolfman. I would nearly lose my mind with terror until I would push through a door (pursuers at my heels) and realize it was a...dressing room, light bulb-ringed makeup mirror and all, with the next shift's wolfman putting his makeup on and carefully applying his fake fur. He would be surprised to see me, note how frightened I was, and lead me by the hand out the side exit door, which led to a McDonald's illuminated by a glorious sunset. My mom, dad, and sister were there waiting for me, with a cheeseburger. (???)
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That is oddly heartwarming, Blue.
I also had recurrent nightmares about being smothered/crushed to death in my bed under the slimy belly of a gigantic frog. Specifically, it was a tree frog, and it would use its sucker-toes to get a better grip on the floor and crush me with the weight of its body and the strength of its powerful legs.
To this day, as some of you know, I am terrified of frogs. Which came first, the nightmares or the frog fear?
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You guys either had much better imaginations than me, or have much better memories.
I only remember a dream where cartoon-looking guys broke in through a window, and a dream where intruders pulled at my toes. I did for years afterwards dislike the idea of having my toes touched, but this is much less inconvenient than a fear of frogs because really, how often does anyone touch someone else's toes?
I believe I also had dreams where the Nazis were chasing me, but I remember that only as a fact, I don't have vivid memories of the dreams themselves.
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I also had recurrent nightmares about being smothered/crushed to death in my bed under the slimy belly of a gigantic frog. Specifically, it was a tree frog, and it would use its sucker-toes to get a better grip on the floor and crush me with the weight of its body and the strength of its powerful legs.
Ooof. I like frogs, yet that gave me the creeps.
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when i was a kid, this one happened about once a week: i was being chased by some unknown man through some mishmash of my house and webster's, replete with hidden passages. i would jump out the window and instead of my backyard it was an alley in some city. the time i finally hid under my bed, the guy jumped out the window and i never had that dream again.
the similarity is eerie.
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when i was a kid, this one happened about once a week: i was being chased by some unknown man through some mishmash of my house and webster's, replete with hidden passages. i would jump out the window and instead of my backyard it was an alley in some city. the time i finally hid under my bed, the guy jumped out the window and i never had that dream again.
the similarity is eerie.
Is this type of dream an American/Western culture rite of early adolescence? Or are we an odd subset of society?
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webster's,
The little kid on the TV show with Alex Karras?
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yes indeed. webster papadapoulous.
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...and fell in love.
Then I woke up.
sigh
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Last night, I prevented a man from destroying the sun with an artificial singularity... and then accidentally set it off myself.
The feeling of the atmosphere sheering off the Earth without the sun to keep us steady and suffocating in darkness, it was kind of horrifying.
Woke up with the intense feeling of how utterly fragile the delicate balance that keeps Earth not-completely-barren is.
Not in, like, a "Captain Planet" way but in a "we're one solar flare away" sorta deal.
Had a hard time falling back asleep.
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1. my mother saw a poster for the band "Japandroids" and talked about how after college she lived in Japandroids, which is north of LA. "Stupid tourists always thought it had something to do with Japan."
2. i watched someone prepare special nachos, where a tiny chicken was boiled alive in the cheese. the horrible noises the chicken made were part of the enjoyment. as the chicken cooked it like, did this weird thing with its beak and kind of split open/folded up... it was very Achewood. I woke up in a cold sweat.
3. i was cast in a musical at my high school, and I fell off the stage right as they took the cast picture. they refused to take a new one.
4. my girlfriend was buying something really expensive, and would not take my advice about where to buy it, and then got really mad when she got ripped off.
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I've noticed I have something of a hangup when it comes to group pictures. Somehow I missed getting in a lot of these in my middle school/high school days and its a perpetual source of regret. Now, if there are pictures to be taken, I'm semi-pathological about being included. Hopefully I'm the only one who notices.
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I was moving in to be roommates with Dan Savage, who had retired to run a small bakery at the beach.
Actually I don't know if I was living there or just visiting, I had a lot of suitcases and a big duffle bag but no boxes.
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I, too, dreamed about being at the beach with roommates. It was a vacation house, and you were there, Wombat, and Cort, and Inev, and I think also A-Cap and August and possibly linnea. There were a bunch of us, it all ran together. Anyway, some members of a rival message board broke in and tried to steal some TOUAMB relics, and we ended up trapping a rival board member in the vacation house and getting her to reveal her evil plan.
Then I got stuck in an airport with Gregory House. He was pissed off because his flight was cancelled.
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There were a bunch of us, it all ran together. Anyway, some members of a rival message board broke in and tried to steal some TOUAMB relics, and we ended up trapping a rival board member in the vacation house and getting her to reveal her evil plan.
You might want to let Moonie out now. I'm kind of missing her.
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re: moonie:
I'm kind of missing her.
amen. i hope shes dealing with her circumstances well.
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1. I was at some big event, and the finale was that the entire cast of Star Trek: Voyager came out. I was surprised to recognize Tina Fey, and then realized she had been an Ensign or something in one episode. She made a joke about chocolate-covered marshmallows, and I realized she was contractually obligated to make Liz Lemon jokes. This made me feel bad for her.
2. I worked at camp again, and we found this huge, awesome lake. It was surrounded by big, rocky mountains, that were not at all like the Appalachians. I jumped in, and my swim trunks fell off... they got tangled around my legs and i couldn't pull them back up. everyone was like, gross! dude! your dick! Then I couldn't swim and started floundering around...
then a screen popped up to tell me to tap c-left to swim.
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I was back in college and living at home. I got a job as a foreman at a construction site, and I was late to my first day of work because my Mom started a fight with me about what I was wearing. Seems she thought jeans and work boots made me look "dykey."
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Seems she thought jeans and work boots made me look "dykey."
dont they?
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Seems she thought jeans and work boots made me look "dykey." "totally hot."
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Either way, they were totally appropriate for the job I had to do, and it was none of her business anyway.
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Either way, they were totally appropriate for the job I had to do, and it was none of her business anyway.
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I was back in college and living at home. I got a job as a foreman at a construction site, and I was late to my first day of work because my Mom started a fight with me about what I was wearing. Seems she thought jeans and work boots made me look "dykey."
dont they?
Fuck. Maybe that's why I can't get a date.
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jeans aren't dykey. carhartts are dykey.
but then one of the hottest straight chicks i've ever known wore workboots, carhartt overalls, and a hard hat, all at once. the red hair, giant maracas, and sleeveless tee didn't hurt the effect, but still.
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Fuck. Maybe that's why I can't get a date.
neither can i. maybe i need to start wearing that crap....
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Am I crazy that I... kinda like the kinda-dykey thing, provided the woman actually likes men or, at least, likes men as well?
I like strong women, I dunno.
I like to think it's that I'm egalitarian about gals but it is probably that I do not like having to be strong just because I gots a wang.
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my swim trunks fell off... they got tangled around my legs and i couldn't pull them back up.
This actually happened to me, sorta.
I was about 5 and playing show and tell with a little girl in a wading pool in her back yard. You know, she showed me hers - I showed her mine. When my mother came outside to collect me I panicked and got my feet tangled in the shorts and couldn't pull them up. Mom was not amused.
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This actually happened to me, sorta.
I was about 5 and playing show and tell with a little girl in a wading pool in her back yard. You know, she showed me hers - I showed her mine. When my mother came outside to collect me I panicked and got my feet tangled in the shorts and couldn't pull them up. Mom was not amused.
Canned to ease the pain of childhood trauma.
Am I crazy that I... kinda like the kinda-dykey thing, provided the woman actually likes men or, at least, likes men as well?
I like strong women, I dunno.
I like to think it's that I'm egalitarian about gals but it is probably that I do not like having to be strong just because I gots a wang.
I think kinda-dykey women are completely hot, also, but then...that makes sense.
Pedro likes it too, which is convenient for me. I think that it's less about egalitarianism (though that's a nice thought) and more about submission and dominance, and also the reversal of power politics in a hetero sexual relationship.
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OK, I just realized, what bothers me about this whole line of discussion - there is really anything even worth remarking on when a woman wears jeans and work boots? Not just by you younguns, but even by JL's mom in a dream? I mean, yeah, my mom is of a generation where this wasn't normal, but mustn't JL's mom be, like, my age?
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My mom was a bit older than the average mom of the time when she had me -- I have a brother who is ten years older than me, you see. She's 62, which isn't quite of the age where a lot of women would think seeing their daughters in work boots meant they were never going to have grandchildren, but my mom is particularly traditional and highly concerned with the way one presents oneself.
Still, I think if this happened IRL, mom wouldn't really throw a fit about me going to a construction job in work boots. I think in the dream it was more an issue where she objected to my taking the job in the first place, but it came out in the form of arguing about this side issue.
I mean, I wore boys' jeans and doc martens and thermal tees under flannel shirts to class every day when I was in high school and college, and while she wasn't a fan, she never made me late to school so we could argue about it.
Don't judge. It was the style at the time.
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Yeah, my mom is only in her early 50s but, since her mother was young when she had her and her parents divorced when she was young, Gramma Mary Ellen had to work full-time and so much of my mom's raising was done by her grandparents, leading to my mom having more of the cultural sense of her own parents' generation than so much her own.
It is interesting how things like that are more fluid than we might believe at knee-jerk.
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I mean, I wore boys' jeans and doc martens and thermal tees under flannel shirts to class every day when I was in high school and college, and while she wasn't a fan, she never made me late to school so we could argue about it.
Don't judge. It was the style at the time.
it must have been awfully cold where you grew up.
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We had an ice age here in Raleigh.
No, actually I doffed the flannel in summertime in favor of wife-beaters layered over sports bras.
High class, I know.
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We had an ice age here in Raleigh.
No, actually I doffed the flannel in summertime in favor of wife-beaters layered over sports bras.
High class, I know.
oh, yeh? [[ponders]]
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jayell you're makin me miss asheville here
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2. I jumped in, and my swim trunks fell off... they got tangled around my legs and i couldn't pull them back up. everyone was like, gross! dude! your dick!
In every dream I have had where I have been Exposed, I recieved Positive Reactions. I have never had a bad naked dream.
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Lucid dreaming, FTW!
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...that I was in high school, and I was the only girl on the football team. I got pissed off when the coach told me not to come to practice one afternoon because some of my teammates' parents had come to watch practice and he didn't want them to see that there was a girl on the team. I'm not clear on why, exactly, but I was very upset about it.
This is hilarious for two reasons:
1) I am not an athlete an any sense of the word. (I'm not even a Mathlete.) Organized sports are not my thing. I like to watch hockey, that's about it.
2) Football is my most hated sport, because as many times as people have tried to explain it to me (please don't try) I can neither understand the rules nor can I comprehend why it's acceptable for grown men to get paid a lot of money to run around in tight ##### and chase a ball that doesn't even roll.
So it was a pretty hilarious dream, especially when I put on my pads for practice and realized that I was going to have to learn how to play pretty soon or I'd be off the team.
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Looks like we've finally found JL's Achilles heel.
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nor can I comprehend why it's acceptable for grown men to get paid a lot of money to run around in tight ##### and chase a ball that doesn't even roll.
Haha. Do you like rugby?
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...a ball that doesn't even roll.
I have a can for you on your burthdah.
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Haha. Do you like rugby?
I don't know, I've never...rugbied?
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I like that some fraction of rugby players refer to themselves as "ruggers" - which sounds like a variant on "carpet muncher" to me.
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I like that some fraction of rugby players refer to themselves as "ruggers" - which sounds like a variant on "carpet muncher" to me.
At least we arent playing with our sticks. Keep playing with your stick and wear pads.. Men V Men combat is too hard for you.
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Something un-manly about munching carpet?
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Something un-manly about munching carpet?
Lesbians and men who like to be dominated by women are known to love such activities.
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Lesbians and men who like to be dominated by women are known to love such activities.
OMG, this is so backwards.
The person performing the act is the one in control, any woman who has performed fellatio knows this...and if a man is performing cunnilingus and doesn't feel like he is completely owning the situation, he's doing it wrong.
I'm just sayin'.
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oops.
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I... have to imagine that A-Cap was being a sarcastic little spider with that line.
Because there ain't much more fun in the world than eating box as long as (a) the lady understands good hygiene and (b) there is some kind of reciprocation on down the road.
It isn't about domination, it is about a wonderful puzzle game.
It is like Tetris with your mouth and if you win, the pretty lady cums.
Naughty sarcastic spider.
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maybe he watched too many of those superbowl ads.
AMIRITE?
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as if i wasnt obsessed with going down on women enough on my own..... [[rolls eyes]]
thanks for reminding me, guys.
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It is like Tetris with your mouth and if you win, the pretty lady cums.
I guess I can add humming the tetris theme to 'Things I do during sex that I can blame on this board' list.
To be honest, it's not a super long list.
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Lick to the rhythm of the song, man!
LA l-la LA l-la LA la la la
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Stick with humming. Trust me on this one.
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So long as I can make a sound effect when I fill a 4 block hole.
And then I suppose our genitals disappear.
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"oh shit.... now what?"
"I guess we just go to sleep."
*sigh*
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I don't remember all of the details, but a series of events resulted in Mr.Isosceles evicting me from my home (and moving in) and me going to an illegal jail.
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you sure that was a dream?
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an illegal jail.
I wonder where you get sent for running an illegal jail?
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Superjail.
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and for running superjail, you get sent to timejail.
where the hell do they put the guy in charge of timejail? regular jail, i'm thinking.
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Quantumjail.
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Warden of Quantumjail,
We have come for you.
We are the Λ Police!
it's pronounced "jough"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cosmological_constant
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With enough good (or bad) behaviour, you can apply for Schrodinger's Parole (or not).
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... that I went on a hero's journey, the whole monomyth thing. Traveled the country, leveled up, allied myself with cool peeps. Came home a BAMF and bestowed boons on my homeboys. Shit was so cash.
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...that we moved, and after a couple of weeks I suddenly realized that I'd forgot to have any of my mail forwarded, and I was in a huge panic.
The comparison of this and Toaster's dream is the saddest thing.
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... I was out having fun with some friends when some girl I used to know called me and ask me to pick her up from work. She gave me an address and we rolled over there. It was some sort of carnival/circus where the staff was dressed in kangaroo costumes. I found the girl. Her job was to replace the dry ice that made smoke for a giant centipede/caterpillar rollercoaster thing that was made of dildos, feathers, vibrators and fur. The dildos and vibrators kind of hung off the side like on a caterpillar. The seats were made of the fur and feathers.
So we picked her up and we went back out, with her in her kangaroo costume.
Boom.
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I'd go to that carnival. Hell, I'd work at that carnival.
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I had a dream that I was on the verge of Maximum Cuddles with a cross between James Marsters (http://auntiefashion.files.wordpress.com/2009/08/james-marsters.jpg) and A Guy I Knew In College (http://www.shakespearebythesea.org/2005/images/ben-brannon.jpg), which is not actually much of a stretch. (You can't tell from the headshots, but they have similar body types, favor shirts that are tight and/or sleeveless, and both used to be platinum-blonde but have since let their hair go back to natural brown. I was with the platinum-blonde version.) Anyway, there I was, moments away from ecstasy, and we realized neither of us had a condom. So he ran out to get one, and by the time he got back I had remembered that I was married, and I couldn't go through with it.
Even after remembering Pedro, I was tempted, but ultimately, I did the right thing.
So. Disappointing. Where's a lucid dream when you need one?
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I had a dream recently that I turned down a threesome with the two hottest girls from my high school, because I remembered that I had a girlfriend. My girlfriend did not find this dream as flattering as I wanted her to.
I never have sex dreams, so it is kind of disappointing that I missed out on some awesome dream-sex.
I think I have literally had one dream where I had sex, ever, and that was when I was much much younger and it was weird and not like what sex is like.
I am pretty sure it was still when my understanding of sex was "you lie on top of her, and eventually some stuff comes out if you stay there long enough."
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I never have sex dreams, so it is kind of disappointing that I missed out on some awesome dream-sex.
I think I have literally had one dream where I had sex, ever, and that was when I was much much younger and it was weird and not like what sex is like.
I am pretty sure it was still when my understanding of sex was "you lie on top of her, and eventually some stuff comes out if you stay there long enough."
Thats a lot better than what my first understanding of sex was.
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I had a dream recently that I turned down a threesome with the two hottest girls from my high school, because I remembered that I had a girlfriend. My girlfriend did not find this dream as flattering as I wanted her to.
I never have sex dreams, so it is kind of disappointing that I missed out on some awesome dream-sex.
I think I have literally had one dream where I had sex, ever, and that was when I was much much younger and it was weird and not like what sex is like.
I am pretty sure it was still when my understanding of sex was "you lie on top of her, and eventually some stuff comes out if you stay there long enough."
I used to have sex dreams all the time, but now the best I seem to be able to muster is dreams where I could be having sex with random hotties if only I weren't married, or -- even worse -- dreams where I could be having sex with my hot, hot spouse, if only I didn't have kids.
Such is life.
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Thats a lot better than what my first understanding of sex was.
In summer school between my Freshman and Sophomore years of HS a classmate was under the impression that sex involved urinating inside the woman. Either he hadn't hit puberty or he was watching some weird German porn was all I could figure. I had the basic facts down by age 8, since my pet mice engineered a population explosion, and stuff started getting messy for me sometime in 7th grade.
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Might as well spill. I had a sex dream involving a member of this board.
A MALE member of this board.
I am not a massive sex-dream person so I hope you feel flattered somewhere in the recesses of your mind.
As for 'what sex is like' when you're a kid, I asked, nay BEGGED my parents to explain to me how it all worked at the age of 6. After much persistence, Papa Judy said 'there's a special cuddle and then the dad does a special wee and a baby is born', cue both parents bursting out laughing whilst I sat there nonplussed.
I genuinely hold an unholy terror for the day one of my mates remembers the time two years later I announced this story to the class.
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It is okay that you dreamed of my special wee, Jude.
I am flattered whenever anyone dreams of my special wee.
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A MALE member of this board.
The sound you can hear is JL's heart breaking.
Although if it was Nabrush that doesn't count, we've all been there man.
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...though, remember, JL's fella is a member of the board.
That might be like SUPER hot to her.
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The sound you can hear is JL's heart breaking.
So true.
...though, remember, JL's fella is a member of the board.
That might be like SUPER hot to her.
Hope springs eternal!
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Might as well spill. I had a sex dream involving a member of this board.
A MALE member of this board.
Did it involve one of you squealing like a pig?
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I had a dream that I got a new, large, open-concept condo, only I filled it with so many bookshelves full of trashy best sellers that it was like a rat maze.
I was watching a TV show where a couple was shopping for a condo before I went to bed. Huh.
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This one was a weirdie...
I was on a road walking. There were others on the road with me. It was olden days, like biblical times or something. I was trying to catch up to the Pope who was also walking along the road. I had a question for him about something which I've forgotten. It had something to do with sex, I think. Just as I got to the Pope he tripped and fell to the ground. I helped him up and asked him my question (which I've forgotten). it seems like his answer wasn't very direct, but it was helpful. So now we're in the village and I'm surrounded by Jews. They start giving me advice concerning my problem in that way that you only see in a Hollywood musical . And of course they broke into song. So imagine these Jewish peasants straight out of Fiddler on the Roof singing a song about inappropriate touching. There was one man leading a donkey who placed his hand on the arm of a woman carrying a load of straw. He sang something to her at which she replied in song "please don't touch me." Variations on this his scenario were repeated several times before the chorus joined in to hammer the lesson home as we walked toward a beautiful sunrise. Then the credits began to roll like at the beginning of a movie "Shlemiel Lends a Helping Hand" or something to that effect "copyright XXVect..." superimposed upon the sky and I was seeing it as if it were actually in the sky, because of course I was in the movie not watching it.
Then I woke up.
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I had a dream that I was on the verge of Maximum Cuddles with a cross between James Marsters (http://auntiefashion.files.wordpress.com/2009/08/james-marsters.jpg) and A Guy I Knew In College (http://www.shakespearebythesea.org/2005/images/ben-brannon.jpg), which is not actually much of a stretch. (You can't tell from the headshots, but they have similar body types, favor shirts that are tight and/or sleeveless, and both used to be platinum-blonde but have since let their hair go back to natural brown. I was with the platinum-blonde version.) Anyway, there I was, moments away from ecstasy, and we realized neither of us had a condom. So he ran out to get one, and by the time he got back I had remembered that I was married, and I couldn't go through with it.
Even after remembering Pedro, I was tempted, but ultimately, I did the right thing.
So. Disappointing. Where's a lucid dream when you need one?
So, my subconscious made it up to me last night. I still didn't get to screw him, but at least we made out a lot. Second base FTW.
This time, though, it was just Guy From College -- not the famous-actor blend I got last time. I'm not sure if that makes it better or worse.
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I had a dream I was wandering aimlessly somewhere in they city. It was dark and I was riding my bike down suburban streets wet from rain, although it was not raining at that moment. The streetlights reflected off the road as I drove my bike along, and it was very quiet out. Then I noticed there was a riot going on a couple blocks from me - a crowd of angry people, some with smoldering torches - so I decided to go into a nearby small hair salon to avoid the hassle. Inside, Asian women worked on customers. I asked for a facial, and sat down to get it done. The esthetician tsk-tsked at me and told me that with the amount of black heads on my face it would be $300-$400 for her to get them all off. I said that was too bad, because I really wanted to be rid of them, then asked her how much it would be for just a basic mini-facial, and she said with my skin it would still be around $300. I said that unfortunately I couldn't afford that, then as I prepaired to go, I mentioned that there was a riot going on just down the street, and one of the other staff mentioned she new about this too. There was some speculation as to why the riot was going on, but no one was really sure. I felt pretty indifferent about both the fact I wasn't getting a facial and that I was about to head out into a riot, but I prepaired to leave anyway.
The overall emotional climate of the dream was that of ambivalence- I didn't care where I was going on my bike when I came upon the riot, I didn't feel any concern beyond mild frustration at the riot or the facial I could not afford. I was mildly frustrated upon leaving the salon that I would need to ride my bike through the riot, but only because all the people would slow me down a bit. It's not that I had anywhere to go.
This was a pretty unique dream for me, due both to the tone and content. Especially of note is that I had had a conversation with my husband earlier that evening about how healthy and soft my skin is these days, making it particularly odd that I would dream of having bad skin.
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I have been so sick that I missed the past 2 days of work. Last night, it was so bad that I took NyQuil. I vaguely remember waking up in the middle of the night thrashing and straining to breathe. I had a dream that somebody poured my lungs full of burning sand. I had lots of other weird dreams thanks to the Big N, little y, and Big fuck*ng Q, but that was the only one I could remember.
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Back in the summer of 2006 I was trying to train myself to have lucid dreams, and typed up whatever I could remember from my dreams right after waking up. I still have about a half-dozen of them saved on my laptop, long forgotten until this thread jogged my memory. They're kind of stream-of-consciousness, and probably too long to post here unedited, but I'll put up summaries of some of them. Here's one for one of the shorter ones:
Night of Thursday, June 15th, 2006
I was going to my high school prom with some friends (one of whom I didn't actually meet until college), but I didn't have a date. It was the day of the prom, and I drove to the house where my best friend in 2nd grade used to live, where there were supposed to be people I could ask out. For some reason I just kind of dithered around out front and never met anybody.
At this point in the dream I completely forgot about getting a date. I decided my car (a Chevy Prizm) was too lame to drive to prom in, but I had some sort of keychain-mounted device that used an invisible ray to alter the length and width of different surfaces. I used it on the Prizm to stretch out the chassis, and it started to turn into this huge '50s hotrod with sharkfin tail lights and everything. Then I started to work on the front side of the car and realized I'd done it in reverse and the sharkfins were on the front hood. Oops.
I couldn't be bothered to fix it so I started over on an old VW bus belonging to some random, unnamed friend. This one started turning into a Rolls-Royce sort of car, but I never got to finish because my friends drove up and told me the prom was over now, even though it was still afternoon. I was in trouble because the friend who owned the VW bus was really proud of it, and I'd never be able to get it back to exactly the way it was before, but then I pushed another button on the device and the car deflated like a balloon and folded up back into its original shape.
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some sort of keychain-mounted device that used an invisible ray to alter the length and width of different surfaces. I used it on the Prizm to stretch out the chassis, and it started to turn into this huge '50s hotrod with sharkfin tail lights and everything. Then I started to work on the front side of the car and realized I'd done it in reverse and the sharkfins were on the front hood. Oops.
I need one of those keychains!
On second thought, sounds like the perfect Christmas present for Paul...
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I need one of those keychains!
On second thought, sounds like the perfect Christmas present for Paul...
No doubt. Also, Felix! You're still around!
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I had another good one. There was this girl I once knew and she was naked. She had a spectacular ass just like I remembered. I reached over and gave that ass a nice squeeze. When I went to pull my hand off of her ass cheek it was stuck like glue. I tried to pull my hand away and it wouldn't budge. I tried to pull harder and it began to stretch like rubber. Very bizarre. Then we were on a commercial air flight, the woman was still naked, but my hand was no longer attached to her ass. I looked out the window and remarked that we were close to the ground. We were crashing, into the ocean, but that didn't occur to me. Then it happened. We just looked out the window and watched as the airplane skidded across the surface of the water. It was no big deal, there was no announcement from the cockpit, I didn't even have my seatbelt on. We were enjoying the beautiful site of watching the water rush by. I think the plane was still gently gliding across the water when I woke up.
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You dreamt a bright eyes song, man. What does it all mean.
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I dreamed about yet another guy I knew in college, probably prompted by the fact that he was just tagged in a Facebook album by a local photography service called "Models for Charity," which does something to raise money for Worthy Causes by photographing pretty people.
(You can look him up if you're on Facebook, search for "models for charity" and find the first pic in the first album; the guy that's not a kid is my friend, click through to more photos if you like. There is a topless one of him that I'm pretty certain is friends-only that is most certainly wet-dream-worthy.)
The strange part of the dream, though, was that this beautiful specimen of man and I were engaging in a peculiar little game involving mutual nudity, a hot tub, and a My Little Pony.
Is this horrifyingly embarrassing? Yes. But it's also too hilarious *not* to share, so there you go. Hope you enjoyed it.
I know I did.
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I dreamed about yet another guy I knew in college, probably prompted by the fact that he was just tagged in a Facebook album by a local photography service called "Models for Charity," which does something to raise money for Worthy Causes by photographing pretty people.
(You can look him up if you're on Facebook, search for "models for charity" and find the first pic in the first album; the guy that's not a kid is my friend, click through to more photos if you like. There is a topless one of him that I'm pretty certain is friends-only that is most certainly wet-dream-worthy.)
The strange part of the dream, though, was that this beautiful specimen of man and I were engaging in a peculiar little game involving mutual nudity, a hot tub, and a My Little Pony.
Is this horrifyingly embarrassing? Yes. But it's also too hilarious *not* to share, so there you go. Hope you enjoyed it.
I know I did.
MLP is less strange than precious moments figurines
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I do have to give you that one.
At least MLP's are vinyl. I don't think I'd want to put anything as brittle and breakable as porcelain near my naughty bits.
Tempered glass? (http://www.edenfantasys.com/inside-out-internal-twists-of-latty-g-spot-with-handle/adult-toys-dvds-20336) Maybe. But never, ever porcelain.
Did I say never? (http://www.edenfantasys.com/dildos/classic-dildos-and-dongs/goldfrau-classic-dildo)
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You dreamt a bright eyes song, man. What does it all mean.
Yeah, anyone in particular or just Bright Eyes in general?
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Yeah, anyone in particular or just Bright Eyes in general?
At The Bottom of Everything. Very apt.
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I had this dream that was really long and convoluted and probably uninteresting.
But the end of it, oh man:
so we're helping the band Yo La Tengo load all of their amps and guitars and stuff into their van, and there are way more members than the band actually has. Lots of stuff to move. This one huge guy is standing off to one side bitching and not helping at all... complaining about the venue sucking, WashU fuck*ng him over on tuition, all this crap. And I said, dude, why don't you come help us out. Come on. What's your problem.
"No, I can't."
"Why not?"
"I JUST CAN'T."
"BUT WHY!?"
...
BECAUSE, I HAVE BABY HANDS! BABY HANDS! and he starts screaming BABY HANDS and wailing/crying and beating me with his tiny baby hands. I woke up shuddering and gasping.
I have a lot of dreams that involve something jumping at me/touching me, and my reaction in the dream is always to just kind of crumple into a ball and shudder. Ew.
It's weird because flailing around and crying/screaming is an ongoing joke with one of my friends, about String Dick, the man whose dick is really really long, but as thin as a piece of string. You say, "what's wrong, string dick?" and he goes "I HAVE A STRING-DICK!" and starts whipping it around in the air and wailing. This makes me laugh really hard.
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I met JL in a dream. For some reason. You had the exact facial expression you do on your FB profile throughout and remarked on the hilarity of my accent.
I don't remember much else.
Also had a dream on the weekend that was good. Not much space in the camping barn so I was lucky enough to be squeezed between two lady friends. However, I had also drunk a horrible shitmix of wine, vodka, tequila, milk, energy juice, homebrew and, worst of all, lager, before going to bed. These inevitably give me strange dreams, and I promptly started envisaging some horrific yet strangely comforting world where I was obliged to sit down before a figure would sit on my lap and I'd have to hold this figure.
Woke up spooning one of the girls a little over-familiarly, but she was either asleep or did not mind, or did and didn't say anything and is now a bit scared.
fuck*ng hell.
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Your sig is particularly appropriate then.
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I met JL in a dream. For some reason. You had the exact facial expression you do on your FB profile throughout and remarked on the hilarity of my accent.
There is a reason that is my profile picture. That is basically my default expression -- general bemusement blended with mild disapproval.
Is your accent very Sheffield-y? I mean, Pedro was born and raised in Raleigh but his accent is not very Carolina-y. When I think Sheffield, I think Jeff from Coupling, but he may be a bit extreme (in nearly every sense of the word). If that's what you sound like, though, I would be less likely to find it hilarious, and more likely to faint from the rapid flow of blood away from my brain.
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There is a reason that is my profile picture. That is basically my default expression -- general bemusement blended with mild disapproval.
Is your accent very Sheffield-y? I mean, Pedro was born and raised in Raleigh but his accent is not very Carolina-y. When I think Sheffield, I think Jeff from Coupling, but he may be a bit extreme (in nearly every sense of the word). If that's what you sound like, though, I would be less likely to find it hilarious, and more likely to faint from the rapid flow of blood away from my brain.
for asleep style, does the dude have to be asleep, or can it be the lady, instead?
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for asleep style, does the dude have to be asleep, or can it be the lady, instead?
It can definitely be the lady who is asleep. My BFF prefers it that way.
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It can definitely be the lady who is asleep. My BFF prefers it that way.
i was going to say, maybe a phone call from jude-o would help make that happen for your dude.
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There is a reason that is my profile picture. That is basically my default expression -- general bemusement blended with mild disapproval.
Is your accent very Sheffield-y? I mean, Pedro was born and raised in Raleigh but his accent is not very Carolina-y. When I think Sheffield, I think Jeff from Coupling, but he may be a bit extreme (in nearly every sense of the word). If that's what you sound like, though, I would be less likely to find it hilarious, and more likely to faint from the rapid flow of blood away from my brain.
Erm. It's a bit of a bastard mix of Sheffield where I live now, Gloucestershire which is old home and various influences from my housemates. Mostly Birmingham. Getting more Sheffield all the time due to living here. And I've realised that probably doesn't mean much to anyone here.
I doubt it would cause much fainting to be honest.
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Erm. It's a bit of a bastard mix of Sheffield where I live now, Gloucestershire which is old home and various influences from my housemates. Mostly Birmingham. Getting more Sheffield all the time due to living here. And I've realised that probably doesn't mean much to anyone here.
I doubt it would cause much fainting to be honest.
You overestimate me. I can get weak in the knees just from hearing good Brooklyn accent.
Fortunately, my darling spouse has a great ear for accents, and can do about a dozen pretty good ones on request. He played Eugene in "Bringhton Beach Memoirs" back in college, and when I went to see it I nearly melted in my chair.
I'm easy.
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The other day we realized that I can do a really good Jimmy Stewart impression.
it was really weird how much my girlfriend liked this. after a while I lost it and it turned into some weird mix of regional accents, though.
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oh jay-ell you'd have loved a play i was in my junior year of college: the hostage by brendan behan. everybody on stage had an irish brogue except for me (the hostage) workin' the full cockney. the rest of the cast had a dialect coach, to correct differences amongst them; the director decided i didn't need one. smug.gif
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I do a so-bad-its-good impression of Jimmy Stewart.
"Mary... MARY, muh mouth's bleedin muh MOUTH's bleedin!"
Also, when I'm trying to do a Hitler voice, he never comes out with a German or Austrian accent.
He's always, like, Eastern European or Mexican.
No idea why.
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I dreamed that our car broke down in a crummy little town and I thought, this place reminds me of LFM, but realized I wasn't sure if we were in upstate NY or western Mass.
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...that I was in some auditorium, waiting for the presenter to talk about the classes my daughter is in (for the upcoming 3rd grade), with my infant son on my lap. I vaguely recognise a woman sitting a few chairs away. She catches my eye and we exchange pleasantries. She asks why I left Mass early a few weeks ago, in a tone that says she finds it troubling that I do that a lot. I search my memory for a time recently where I actually left, feeling annoyed that she's prying and say it must have been because my son was fussy. She then says that I should learn the words to the songs better so that I don't get them wrong. I stand up, say something to the effect of "Thanks for the advice, and move across the room.
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I got up at 6:30 for a run and when I got home around 8 after I showered instead of going to uni right away like I should have I decided to get a bit more kip and ended up falling asleep for 2 hours.
I dreamed I was at a party I was throwing and all my ex girlfriends were invited, or possibly just all my female friends, my current girl was impressed because they all still thought I was an awesome person and we all got along well and it was really nice. I think this might have been a bit of mental escapism on my part because I'm have issues with the current girl at the moment. It put me in a really good mood all morning though. I always have a good morning when I dream about parties.
This is also another example of how morning dreams are always more lucid for me.
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I keep having dreams where I turn down makeouts with mega-hot women because of my girlfriend. What gives?
then I had a dream where my mom walked into my bedroom and found me naked in bed with my girl. just sleeping. she freaked out and told my whole extended family, who were all at the house, that I was being so disrespectful, etc.
This dream, I think, is because I am trying to figure out a way that my girlfriend can be here for graduation, and it looks like I may be having a conversation like "mom, (girlfriend) is going to be staying with me during graduation. Don't freak out about this."
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I had a weird dream last night that I remember vividly, which doesn't often happen. I dreamed that I was trying to hide from terrorists in a hotel room with 4 other strangers. Oddly, the door was that weird chickenwire reinforced glass and one of the SWAT team members who was trying to clear the hallway opened the door to yell at us to hide because he could see us from the hallway. The most expensive dental work that I have in my mouth started to crumble. But not all of the crown, just the bottom edge of it. I had crumbly stuff in my mouth and I couldn't stop running my tongue over the jagged edge, like when I broke the natural tooth when I was 16.
Then I opened a package of weird folded architectural drawings, but they were prepared by a surveyor that I knew instead of an architect. I kept looking at the guy's stamps on the drawing, then they turned into colored mylars and then colored sheets of trace paper, and I couldn't find the stamps that should have been on every sheet. The drawings were all in this huge billowy bundle of onionskin paper that I couldn't fold back up neatly to put back in the FedEx box. I was totally confused. The other people in the hotel room did not seem to grasp the gravity of the situation with the terrorists and SWAT team in the building. I could hear distant gunfire and I was afraid that there was a bomb was in the building, but not like super-concerned. I got under the bed, and then my alarm clock went off.
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i almost never remember my dreams, but last night they were so fucked up that i woke up, and now i can't help but recall them.
the first one woke me up from its sheer WTF terror - a dude was talking shit to me so i grabbed his head and shoved my thumbs in his eyes until they popped then ran off and thought i'd get away with it, but then the kid that walks my dogs saw me and goes "that wasn't cool what you did" *AWAKEN*
in the second one i was drowsy on the couch at night when i heard a lot of noise from the street. the driveway across seemed to have a garage under it (?) and a couple cops were shooting into it. then a dude comes out of the garage and up the driveway next to my house. the cops couldn't hit him with many bullets, and then he knocked one out with a punch and threw a knife at the other one. as he walked up the stairs to my front door, he saw me through the window and smiled a fairly evil grin. i knew i would give him the old thumb-eyes, but i woke up before anything else happened.
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I dreamed a few nights ago that I had adopted an eleven year old from Ethiopia, and when she arrived I realized that there was really very little I could do to give her the educational opportunities of her American peers because she was already so far behind. Instead of feeling like I had done a good thing by bringing her to the States, I felt like I had destroyed her connection to her family and her culture for very little benefit. Then I realized that I had basically decided to adopt her because I thought she would make a good babysitter for my two younger kids, and I woke up feeling wracked with guilt and ashamed of myself.
That's a whole NEW kind of nightmare, right there.
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At any time during that dream were you sipping mint juleps on the porch with a hand fan?
Its like she tapped into some southern ancestral unconscious.
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the transition from midwest to southeast comes easy. true fact: i've met more people from ohio than from anywhere else, since i left ohio. i'm talking about permanent residents elsewhere, everywhere i've been in the USA. there's a saying, in fact. "Ohio's a nice place to be ...from."
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At any time during that dream were you sipping mint juleps on the porch with a hand fan?
Yikes. Its like she tapped into some southern ancestral unconscious.
YIKES!
I do think, incidentally, this dream may have been prompted by thinking about inev's facebook post regarding the Peace Corps being inherently condescending. I actually thought about that a lot for the rest of the day, and had also read Slate's article about cross-cultural adoption, so I think the two converged in my subconscious.
Horrifying.
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1. I had a pu$$y. It was weird.
2. I was lost in NYC, and realized my dog was with me. He is old, and got tired of walking and so I had to carry him. Then he got annoyed with being carried and kept trying to get down, but once he was on the ground he'd refuse to walk again.
He thinks he is still young, and wants to run around, and he hurts himself through overexertion.
He might be a little bit dumb.
Then I got on the wrong subway line, and ended up in a place with lots of Dutch names. Which, I guess that actually exists.
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1. I had a pu$$y. It was weird.
Wait... were you a lady or just The 'Nev with a lady downstairs?
Asking you to elaborate could only end up awesomely or disasterously. No in-betweens.
And that's why I'm asking you to elaborate.
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I realized I had a pu$$y, and my understanding was that it was temporary. I was like "I'd better learn what I can from this."
what I learned is, CUT YOUR FINGERNAILS.
Most of the dream was trying things and realizing "holy shit, everything I think I should do to a pu$$y hurts or feels bad."
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Wow.
So... your dream of a temporary electric ladyland basically revolved around clumsily scratching the shit outta your insides?
If Freud were here, he'd certainly have something to say about that.
You know. After he took the time to suck about fifty cocks clean-dry.
Because that's what Freud was all about. Suckin' dick.
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the world of my sex dreams is... not a pleasant one.
a lot of getting in trouble for sex that I didn't have (getting caught in compromising positions that aren't what they look like), a lot of turning down sex.
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The rare times I have sex dreams, they're uniformly great.
Lotta threeways involving women I had crushes on in high school and the like.
It's my much-more-common non-sex dreams that are horrifying.
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what I learned is, CUT YOUR FINGERNAILS.
THIS
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I realized I had a pu$$y, and my understanding was that it was temporary. I was like "I'd better learn what I can from this."
what I learned is, CUT YOUR FINGERNAILS.
Most of the dream was trying things and realizing "holy shit, everything I think I should do to a pu$$y hurts or feels bad."
that is troubling. the human mind is completely fucked up.
I carry around a knife that has a pair of scissors so that I can trim fingernails and always keep them appropriate for tacouglybump interaction.
are you constantly bombarded with said opportunities? you get a can, if not for suave-ness, then for confidence.
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I dream that I'm a dude all the time.
Not like, "I'm me, but with a c*ck." As in, I'm actually a guy, and always have been, and I have relationships with women, and save them from dangerous situations, and then get makeouts.
Sometimes I save women from danger in exchange for makeouts as a lady, as well. Sometimes my gender will change over the course of the dream. Sometimes it will change while we're dream-fuck*ng to whatever is more useful at the moment. Sometimes I will be balls deep in a girl, and then remember that I'm a lady, and be very distressed to find that this causes me to lose, in the most literal sense of the word, my erection.
Yeah, the human mind is a fucked-up place to take a nightly vacation, amirite?
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I dream that I'm a dude all the time.
Not like, "I'm me, but with a c*ck." As in, I'm actually a guy, and always have been, and I have relationships with women, and save them from dangerous situations, and then get makeouts.
Sometimes I save women from danger in exchange for makeouts as a lady, as well. Sometimes my gender will change over the course of the dream. Sometimes it will change while we're dream-fuck*ng to whatever is more useful at the moment. Sometimes I will be balls deep in a girl, and then remember that I'm a lady, and be very distressed to find that this causes me to lose, in the most literal sense of the word, my erection.
Yeah, the human mind is a fucked-up place to take a nightly vacation, amirite?
its also a shame when you get to air out the gutters of your mind in relative comfort, but your logic ruins the fun.
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Am I the only person who only very rarely remembers a dream?
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Am I the only person who only very rarely remembers a dream?
nein. i rarely, if ever remember my dreams. usually, the ones i remember are sex dreams that involve ladies who i have a platonic friendship with.
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"Nathans Specials" as Choop named 'em.
[citation needed]
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Going back for just a minute, I was always fascinated that the signifier for Somebody nice the Riveter not being a lesbian was her long manicured fingernails and the way that it betrays the mythology of the past's sexual innocence that is so pushed upon us. If that's supposed to be our clear-but-subtle symbol of her lack of ladyfumblings, clearly everyone knew What Was What back then and it just wasn't talked about.
Sorry. That's the other tangent Dan's dream took me off on.
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What in the world are you talking about?
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*****
#####
PLEASE, DO NOT MENTION THAT HERE
CUNT
A-CAP
giraffe
Somebody nice
That last one is new to me. And I know I'm missing some.
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Don't forget my favorite, "fuck*ng".
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*****
#####
PLEASE, DO NOT MENTION THAT HERE
CUNT
A-CAP
giraffe
Somebody nice
That last one is new to me. And I know I'm missing some.
%%%%%
c*ck
pu$$y
fuck*ng
I forget how one gets Bozack
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Bozack
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I forget how one gets Bozack
I'll tell you if you tell me how to get %%%%%
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Everyone always forgets %%%%%. Poor guy.
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I'll tell you if you tell me how to get %%%%%
You just type "%%%%%" and it shows up.
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Somebody nice CUNT?
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I mean, the logical progression would be to give the word "shortcakes" a filter.
My suggestion: "IS DELICIOUS".
Wouldn't come up much, of course, but isn't that half the fun?
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I mean, the logical progression would be to give the word "shortcakes" a filter.
My suggestion: "IS DELICIOUS".
Wouldn't come up much, of course, but isn't that half the fun?
I second my own suggestion: "Gary Coleman."
Making any mention of strawberry shortcake become CUNT GARY COLEMAN.
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Could we at least make "Darryl" show up as "SHAVED"?
It would be a fair compromise.
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Hey AW!
Last night in my dreams you got murdered and we all showed up for your burying.
Sorry to dream about your death, y'know.
That's really weird, because as I was driving home from work yesterday, I was worrying about what would happen with TOUAMB if I dropped dead. I don't know whether Mrs. West would know to notify y'all or not and I thought that'd be sad, because my imaginary friends should know about that kind of thing.
So who was the culprit? Mr. Wonderful?
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That's really weird, because as I was driving home from work yesterday, I was worrying about what would happen with TOUAMB if I dropped dead. I don't know whether Mrs. West would know to notify y'all or not and I thought that'd be sad, because my imaginary friends should know about that kind of thing.
You'd think given how connected we are more people would use a dead man's switch.
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Good point. I keep trying to get the Tech Staff to remember the password to my work email, but he doesn't know how to get in here.
But, nowadays I have read too many panic-striken articles about password security so I use different passwords everywhere and change them so often that I have to keep them written down, so I guess I should make sure he knows where the Big List O' Passwords is.
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If I go dead, Spouse knows how to find you guys.
youve trained her in 'the arts', eh?
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I've been meaning to give Mrs. del Vaca instructions to post to my blog should anything befall me.
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it'll get here through facebook eventually, so i haven't made any other plans.
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Pedro would let you know, of course. He doesn't need to know my password here because (a) he has his own account and (b) I never log out.
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when i die, the whole world is going to end, so you wont have to worry about it being made known. youll be dead, too.
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Pedro would let you know, of course. He doesn't need to know my password here because (a) he has his own account and (b) I never log out.
I never log out either, but what if I am lost together with my laptop in a fiery crash of something or other?
I gave the Tech Staff a list of passwords, but who knows if he will remember if he has it.
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1. my landlady decided to change our locks, but went home for the day before she put the new ones on. so our house had no locks. she also decided that she wanted to rent it out as a furnished apartment, so she threw out all of our furniture and bought new furniture.
2. I was shaving, and realized I had a line of hair that I couldn't get to come off, about this thick (http://www.blogcdn.com/www.asylum.com/media/2008/08/waters-186bb082608.jpg). It went from my sideburns all the way down my neck to my chest, where it connected to the rest of my body hair.
3. my good friend killed himself, and I was the last person to see him. Everyone else was really nonchalant about it.
4. my girlfriend's ex boyfriend showed up in town. I just turned around and suddenly he was there. Realized that he is really handsome. Then he was talking about all the cool things he does, and I was trying to act friendly instead of being like FUCK YOU, MAYBE SHE DOESN'T WANT TO DATE A GUY WHO KNOWS A LOT ABOUT WEIRD, COOL MUSIC! SHUT UP!
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Im really sorry to hear about your friend. Whatever your thoughts on the matter, be still knowing there was probably nothing you could've done.
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I'm pretty sure it was a dream A-Cap. I hope.
Otherwise we're all kind of dicks for ignoring 'Nev's pain.
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But isn't it proper for imaginary friends to express sympathy for things that happen in dreams?
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Point.
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I'm waiting for when characters in my dreams express sympathy for the stuff that happens on the internet.
That's when I'll know things have gotten Weird.
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1. my landlady decided to change our locks, but went home for the day before she put the new ones on. so our house had no locks. she also decided that she wanted to rent it out as a furnished apartment, so she threw out all of our furniture and bought new furniture.
2. I was shaving, and realized I had a line of hair that I couldn't get to come off, about this thick (http://www.blogcdn.com/www.asylum.com/media/2008/08/waters-186bb082608.jpg). It went from my sideburns all the way down my neck to my chest, where it connected to the rest of my body hair.
3. my good friend killed himself, and I was the last person to see him. Everyone else was really nonchalant about it.
4. my girlfriend's ex boyfriend showed up in town. I just turned around and suddenly he was there. Realized that he is really handsome. Then he was talking about all the cool things he does, and I was trying to act friendly instead of being like FUCK YOU, MAYBE SHE DOESN'T WANT TO DATE A GUY WHO KNOWS A LOT ABOUT WEIRD, COOL MUSIC! SHUT UP!
Fuck me. I read this thinking it was the 'what's going on with your day etc.' thread.
I have no idea why I found it all so plausible. Maybe I have that hair and don't realise it yet? I'll check when shaving tomorrow.
Also that is how you should act to ex-boyfriends, it is The Code unless they're proper twats like.
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I was watching an international soccer match, I believe it was England vs. Italy. It finished in a draw. Instead of going to penalty kicks or some other soccer-based means of breaking the tie, the match was to be decided by which team produced the most urine for post-game drug testing. One player from each team would be surrounded by two teammates and the official holding the receptacle, and go right there. The announcers were updating the "scores" and the fans were cheering as it if was the regular flow (so to speak) of play.
[This of course is when I woke up, because any time I have a dream that involves urination I have to awaken myself in a hurry to make sure I'm not actually peeing in the bed. Hasn't happened yet, thank heavens.]
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[This of course is when I woke up, because any time I have a dream that involves urination I have to awaken myself in a hurry to make sure I'm not actually peeing in the bed. Hasn't happened yet, thank heavens.]
Often when I have to pee at night I dream that I'm in some strange bathroom where either I can't figure out where I'm supposed to go or that it's like in the middle of a room and I can't close the door.
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In my "gotta pee" dreams, I go in the bathroom and discover that the toilet is missing. Sometimes I go into a public restroom, and there are 30 stalls, and none of them have anything inside.
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i don't often have dreams. but hey at least i haven't peed the bed in, like, years
edit: oops
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i don't often have dreams. but hey at least i haven't peed the bed in, like, years
edit: oops
2nd best edit ever
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where's the best? i'm just curious
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where's the best? i'm just curious
If I may toot my own horn for a moment: http://touamb.com/index.php/topic,4316.msg115661.html#msg115661
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...that my husband's best friend and I were sitting on his screened porch drinking with the crew, like we sometimes do, and he randomly reached over to touch my leg. He stopped himself at the last minute, looked up sheepishly, and apologized with the explanation that he saw a good-looking leg and forgot who it belonged to for a second.
I've lost a few pounds lately and I think it's going to my head.
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If I die Facebook will know about it and I'm friends with about a dozen of you so word will get back here.
I had another Queen dream last night. In it the band was making a video. I was either Freddy or the director of the video. All I can remember clearly about the dream is getting into an argument with Roger Taylor and Bryan May about how the band should be positioned. I was arguing that the band should be set up the way the band always sets up with Brian Stage Left.
I wonder if this dream was prompted by the fact that I was thinking about how Freddy Mercury is one of the greatest singers of all time, but gladly shared lead vocal duties with Roger and Brian? On A Night at the Opera Freddy sings lead on only 7 of the 12 songs. Roger sings 1, Brian sings 3 and there is one instrumental.
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1. Uncovered a weird honor-society date-rape conspiracy, but I could only warn my girlfriend via text. I kept trying to abbreviate and not getting the message across.
2. Accidentally showed my mom TOUAMB and she started posting.
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2. Accidentally showed my mom TOUAMB and she started posting.
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.....
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I feel a lot better now about my dream where I was just being chased by bad guys.
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(http://i192.photobucket.com/albums/z120/Asherdan93/PhilippesMum.jpg)
Noooooo.....
No, my mother is nothing like Philippe's. My Mom is part of most of my social networks, but not Achewood.
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1. Uncovered a weird honor-society date-rape conspiracy, but I could only warn my girlfriend via text. I kept trying to abbreviate and not getting the message across.
2. Accidentally showed my mom TOUAMB and she started posting.
More than once I've stumbled on this thread and at first I think I'm reading "Today I'm gonna..." and I kind of freak out. Like today.
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More than once I've stumbled on this thread and at first I think I'm reading "Today I'm gonna..." and I kind of freak out. Like today.
Seconded.
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And the motion is passed.
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Last night I had this nightmare that my ex-boss was rehired. It was soul-crushing. She came in and demanded that I move out of my office so that she could have it. She started changing everything that I have worked so hard to make more efficient, and she reverted everything back to the bull shit inefficient crap she had before. It was beyond awful. I kept trying to reach my boss's boss, but he wasn't at his desk. He had some frozen blueberries on his desk and for some reason I kept returning to his office to take just a few more blueberries. I went to our executive director to try to plead my case with her, but she was surrounded by all these people at a country fair (??) and I couldn't reach her. The crowd was suffocating, and nobody would listen to me. It was terrible.
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...I watched a long documentary about how they make hentai. In the end it was just this really long gay hentai film, and they were doing a voiceover that was like:
"Hey, what about that guy, there? He hasn't done anything in a little bit. Now he should do some fuck*ng. Yeah, get him right in there. Yeah. You can take a break, blonde guy. You can let this other guy do it for a little while."
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...I was on a dead-end street in a dangerous part of town, in a dive restaurant full of sketchy people. I stood face-to-face with the scarred and pock-marked owner, ordering up poutine, and waited. He was so hardboiled, all talking about murders and such, and I was basically just getting a really good look at his damaged face. I was feeling a strong sense of impending doom due to the area, the place and the guy, then I realized what I should really fear is my eating habits. Then it turned into a nightmare of my worry about my health and planning what I would eat for lunch instead of poutine.
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Last night I had this nightmare that my ex-boss was rehired. It was soul-crushing.
I had a similar dream once (nothing to do with blueberries, but the old boss coming back part). I told my boss the next day, "I had a dream last night that you re-hired so-and-so and put her right over me. I realize this has no basis in reality, but just to let you know, if that happened I would quit as soon as possible."
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I keep having this dream where I show up to high school mid-semester, and I can't remember my class schedule, so I try to find my locker (I always kept my schedule written in my planner, which I knew was in my locker) but I couldn't remember which locker was mine, or the combination to the lock. So I went to the office to have them print me a new schedule, and then I couldn't find any of the rooms, and by the time I found the room for my first class the period was over, so I had to start all over again for second period. Then, when I finally got to the right classroom, I was horribly late, and everyone else was turning in their homework, which I hadn't done, so I thought I'd do it during class, but it was algebra, and the numbers were swimming around on the page, and then I realized I didn't even have the right book, and I was trying to find the math assignment in a biology book.
I've had this dream five times in the last week, and it's been awful every time. Last night, I realized it was a dream, and then realized I couldn't find my kids, and panicked until I remembered that I was still dreaming, and that they were asleep in their beds. So I calmed down, and my mom showed up and said, "Aren't you worried about [Girlface]?" I realized that she had my son with her, and I said, "No, she'll be there when I wake up," and mom looked horrified and I felt like a bad parent anyway. So I started looking around the school for her, and I heard her crying, and the next thing I knew Pedro was jumping out of bed and going to get her in her room.
Anxiety dreams, gotta love 'em.
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weird:
first I had 2 dreams in a row about showing up at a friend's house I wasn't invited to and making them mad at me.
then, 2 dreams in a row about working at a gas station (?) and getting fired for some reason.
Also, lately I have had dreams where inside the dream I realized that things didn't add up, but didn't realize it was a dream.
"wait, honey, since when do you have twin baby brothers?"
"wait, what happened to that grocery store job I took? why am I working in this gas station?"
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JL that is also my most recurring dream. Weird. See you at the registrar in a couple hours.
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had a long, convoluted dream that involved being in Paris with my family, watching people swimming with Orca whales, etc.
But the thing that makes me laugh is that upon arriving in paris, I thought:
1. oh man, there is so much good beer here.
2. I'd better tell mom and dad that the best thing to do in Paris is ride the metro all day.
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I dreamed that I ran into Onstad and asked him what was up with the cookbook. He said he wasn't going to finish it. Instead, he was going to have a few recipes in the subscriber thingy, and also, he was about to publish a newspaper article with some recipes and something about how much he hates the cooking magazines.
He was very cheerful about this and clearly did not consider it any sort of failure, just something that had ended up in a different place from where he'd thought he was going.
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He was very cheerful about this and clearly did not consider it any sort of failure, just something that had ended up in a different place from where he'd thought he was going.
This sounds like Ray reasoning.
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Last night I dreamed I met wombat in real life. She and I were at a cafeteria-style restaurant, waiting for our food to arrive. We had run out of things to say to each other, and I felt a sort of paniced need to come to terms with the fact I am turning in to a boring person with not a lot to say. She was being polite, trying not to look bored, but it was pretty obvious that I was failing to function on a vital social level, and I felt really bad about it.
Sorry wombat. Sorry I am boring in my dreams and possibly in real life.
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after the day I met JorgeFabregas in person, I had a dream about something we talked about. In the dream, I went to lunch with my girlfriend, a coworker, and her husband. She asked my girlfriend "how old are your kids?" and refused to believe that we do not have kids. Then my girlfriend got mad at me, because obviously I am telling all of my coworkers that we have kids together.
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Smells, that is the most improbable dream I have ever heard.
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i had a dream where i was thisclose to playing kissyface with my australian fake internet friend who is a lady. my alarm interrupted it.
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I had a dream where I organized a thing where a bunch of people drove to a rest area and were going to carpool from there to some other place. I was in the rear car as we started down the ramp to the highway when the phone rang. It was the wife of one of the people in the front car, and as I was saying hi, I watched that car get hit by a semi.
As if the terror wasn't enough to keep me awake after that, I had to deal with the moral quandary of if I would be able to tell her about the accident right then.
Thanks, brain!
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I had three really vivid dreams this morning after I woke up early and went back to sleep.
The first involved the Martin Luther King of *****s. That wasn't exactly who he was but it's the closest I can describe it. It involved a world where everything was sepia toned and a ***** that looked kind of like a jukebox who was moved after his ***** professor was killed to fight for the freedom of his people by speaking quietly and calmly. Actually maybe he was more *****-ghandi, but also looked like he was drawn in futuraam.
The second involved me hanging out in my parent's house with my current housemate's girlfriend (who I don't particularly like in real life), we ended up getting flirty and then he came home and she was naked (I'm not clear on why because I wasn't) and he got pissed so I had to make up some weird excuse.
The third involved me being part of a travelling show of what were basically strippers/burlesque dancers but in some bizzare fantasy universe where that involved magic, talking bears and a woman psychically communicating with her daughter via ancient pottery (the woman was an archeologist, I think?)
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I can't remember what I dreamed last night, but I have this vague feeling that it was awesome.
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Haven't had a dream in a long time.
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whenever I read about the Cultural Revolution/Great Leap Forward (these are separate events but have the same effect on my brain) I have weird dreams about them.
this time it was, my favorite professor was covering for me when I didn't finish a presentation on time. like, I showed up without my project, and she lied to the other students and said she had told me it was OK. Then they were all like, why do you like Dan so much, he is a fraud who is a bad student.
The project consisted of making a red velvet cake, which was somehow related to a thing I read about how they tried to breed tomatoes with rice to make red rice.
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Strange dreams continue. This morning it was fighting with my parents because they challenged me to a competition to see whose steak was bigger after it was cut up and then cheated by giving me the smaller piece to begin with.
We're definitely in exam season.
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So I just read all through all these (since I'm at work, and I don't want to be) and I gotta say, winding things up with Lister's most recent is pretty rough chuckles. I mean, lots of rough chuckles here, but that one . . . that would fuck up a guy's day.
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I had a dream where I bought a little wooden cat, about the size of my thumb. It turned into a real cat while I was driving my car and hid somewhere in the passenger compartment. When I got to my destination (home, I think) I tried to find it but couldn't. Disappointment.
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. . . last night that zombies were chasing me. On motorcycles.
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During a migraine-induced nap on Saturday, I had one of those nightmares where you realize you're dreaming, but can't shake it. I kept opening my eyes and finding myself in my bed, only to go into the hall or look out the window and discover that it wasn't my house at all. Then something awful would happen (the house would collapse, a Beetlejuice-style sandworm would try to eat me, zombies would attack, I would be shot in the back by an unseen attacker, Pedro would come running in to tell me my son was just hit by a car, etc.).
It was pretty much the definition of awful. I used to have lucid nightmares all the time, it's been a year or so, I guess that's something.
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. . . last night that zombies were chasing me. On motorcycles.
fuck*ng Metal
During a migraine-induced nap on Saturday, I had one of those nightmares where you realize you're dreaming, but can't shake it. I kept opening my eyes and finding myself in my bed, only to go into the hall or look out the window and discover that it wasn't my house at all. Then something awful would happen (the house would collapse, a Beetlejuice-style sandworm would try to eat me, zombies would attack, I would be shot in the back by an unseen attacker, Pedro would come running in to tell me my son was just hit by a car, etc.).
It was pretty much the definition of awful. I used to have lucid nightmares all the time, it's been a year or so, I guess that's something.
This on the other hand sounds incredibly traumatic.
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I dreamed that I was working on a political campaign and I was late for work. I arrived at the campaign office, and there was a while bunch of media there swarming the candidate, so I went up to the second floor of the office, which had a glass wall overlooking the media swarm. My fellow campaign worker was a young man who was far more energetic about the campaign than me. To my surprise he was sporting a raging boner, which was something I was very interested in. I was a little concerned that the media would turn and see us through the window, but also somewhat excited about "getting caught." We were about to get down to business, but then... my husband's alarm went off.
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Husbands always ruin that shit.
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I did have a breif thought about continuing the situation IRL with him, but then I decided to go back to sleep instead.
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I can sort of understand that.
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I dreamed that there was a final exam in a Japanese class I was taking, and I was just going to skip it because I knew I was going to fail anyway, but somehow I ended up in the classroom anyway, but I woke up before I got a chance to look at the paper and see if my unconcious mind remembered enough Japanese to construct a plausible facsimile of a Japanese exam.
What's mostly notable about this actually is that I can't remember the last time I had one of those anxiety dreams about school. It's been years, I'm sure.
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My mind does with calculus equations - and P. chem, I can tell you that right now. B.S. about the right brain not being able to form symbols.
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that my girlfriend entered a Halloween costume contest dressed as her mom. She basically wore her own clothes, and did her hair the way her mom's hair is. She didn't understand why no one understood her costume.
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I'm pretty sure that either means you're afraid she's gonna become her mom or you want to have sex with her mom.
We'd need more detail to understand which.
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Or you're afraid she's going to find out you had sex with her mom.
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oh, I saw her mom in her underwear one time. She is an attractive lady I guess, but way too skinny for my taste. Also I was half-asleep/groggy so I don't even really remember what I saw.
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I was half-asleep/groggy so I don't even really remember what I saw did.
But she does Dan, count on it.
"Oh here's to you Mrs. Robinson...."
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hey, hey, hey, indeed.
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More fuck*ng zombies.
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watching the walking dead? i dreamt our hero on that show got bit.
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I dreamed that my father committed suicide.
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watching the walking dead? i dreamt our hero on that show got bit.
Saving it until I get home and my wife and I can watch it together. I'm DVRing it.
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All I recall of a recent dream was that the Neon Trees song Animal was playing on a radio in the back ground of the action occuring. It was odd, as I had only heard the song once or twice before, and hadn't really taken any note of it. Now when I hear that song, I think of the fact that it was in the dream.
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...where someone had murdered one of my childhood cats and I was told that I had murdered one of this person's cats as revenge. I did not remember doing this at all but the scenario that people laid out to me wherein I did it seemed to have made sense in terms of timeline and stuff. I did not remember doing this but I could not refute it, either.
No one was going to punish me for the act, as everyone knew that it was payback, but I was concerned by the fact that it was totally out of character for me to kill an innocent pet?
Along with the fact that I had NO memory of doing this?
And also that, on some level, as much as I hated that this other cat was dead, I felt like this was the only time I had ever stood up for myself in my life.
It was the only time I could think of where someone fucked up me and mine and I actually fucked back instead of going into a corner crying and...
I was torn. Part of me was proud of myself for taking a stand, even if the stand was horrible and even if I could not remember actually doing it.
And then I woke up.
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...where someone had murdered one of my childhood cats and I was told that I had murdered one of this person's cats as revenge.
You killed my cat, I killed yours. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bruno_Schultz)
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Even a blind squirrel.
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I was riding around with my ex's Aunt and Uncle (who weren't, not really) and we were going to some big family event. At some point the vehicle we were riding in enlarged. We were having some trouble getting where we wanted to go. We went up some sort of on-ramp thingie that someone was coming down at the same time, and did a Bigfoot thing on the other car, crushing it. All of a sudden I was in the back of the truck with some other guys, and this guy (presumably the driver of the other car) leapt into the back of the truck to assault me, but this giant guy who was already there came to my defense and made the guy apologize, and then threw him out.
Eventually we got to the event, and I went into some back set of rooms in this large residential complex. My ex's cousins (who weren't, not really, except for a few) were back there. Then things got a little heated as they defined the expression "kissing cousins" for me. That part was sort of fun.
The next dream I had, I was just being told "I have a question for you" when my alarm went off. I hate that.
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The dreams last night ended with myself standing at an elevator and a little boy with glowing red eyes looked up at me and said:
"HELLO MICHAEL!"
And I thought to myself "Oh shit, that's one of those mind-reading Martians I was reading about... oh shit, now he thinks I'm racist against Martians... I'm not racist against Martians, I'm just afraid of their powers... OH SHIT HE HEARD THAT TOO!"
And then I woke up screaming.
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...Just an incoherent moment, soon lost: something like those scenes in movies where the bell just rung for the end of the classes in the last day of school and everybody just sprints loudly and chaotically towards the doors. I was running along with the others, and it was very fun, I was laughing. I even fell down but it was ok. It was one of the best, lightest and carefree dreams I've had in a long time.
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The dreams last night ended with myself standing at an elevator and a little boy with glowing red eyes looked up at me and said:
"HELLO MICHAEL!"
And I thought to myself "Oh shit, that's one of those mind-reading Martians I was reading about... oh shit, now he thinks I'm racist against Martians... I'm not racist against Martians, I'm just afraid of their powers... OH SHIT HE HEARD THAT TOO!"
And then I woke up screaming.
When I first read this, I thought, "That's silly, his name isn't even Michael, it's....
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
That's when I realized that I always think of your first and last names together, like MikeWazowski from Monsters, Inc. Weird how some peoples' surnames and given names stick together that way.
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when I introduce myself as Dan I become one of those people, apparently. The majority of people who call me Dan (instead of Daniel) say Dan_____ every time.
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probably because there's a million guys named Dan, so everybody has to keep all the Dans straight in their head.
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...Just an incoherent moment, soon lost: something like those scenes in movies where the bell just rung for the end of the classes in the last day of school and everybody just sprints loudly and chaotically towards the doors. I was running along with the others, and it was very fun, I was laughing. I even fell down but it was ok. It was one of the best, lightest and carefree dreams I've had in a long time.
That's simply awesome.
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probably because there's a million guys named Dan, so everybody has to keep all the Dans straight in their head.
This happens to me frequently. The tendency is for one social group to do it (my similar-aged coworkers for example) and another not to (my school buddies).
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probably because there's a million guys named Dan, so everybody has to keep all the Dans straight in their head.
I only know three Dans; one of them went to middle school with me, so he gets the FirstLast treatment, as most of my old schoolmates do. My brother-in-law goes by Danny and the other is our young Daniel. So I don't have Daniel Confusion.
Mikes, Marks, and Matts, though, there are just too many of those in my life.
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so, I was in the movie Contact, and there was a subplot where everyone thought Jodie Foster had killed her husband. They thought this because it was "inhuman" the way she had left him sprawled out on the floor when she found him dead. Her defense: "well, how could I move him? I'm TINY"-- at this point it was revealed that she was tiny. Like, a foot tall.
later, after I had realized that I had seen this movie and knew what would happen next, the aliens sent a bunch of primates to earth to represent them (they did not understand that only homo sapiens run the earth). I averted disaster when I remembered that in this part of the movie, a chimp set himself on fire by accident, and dies because he runs faster than humans, so we couldn't put him out. As soon as I saw that he was playing with a match, I doused him. Then he hugged me, and I realized that all chimps have a perfectly cubical bump on their backs. "I don't remember ever noticing that before."
This is interesting because a common theme in my nightmares is "this animal is in ______ situation and this situation will only get worse, because there is no way for this stupid animal to understand that we are trying to help it." Normally this involves the animal hurting/attacking me due to its stupid non-human instincts (EG, I am tied to this human, so I should thrash around instead of letting him untie me). This is the first time I have successfully solved one of these dreams.
me and a good pal were where swimming in a pool with a bunch of our freshman floor dudes. At some point we got out and walked along this path, and all of them were peeing in the bushes. They were in really weird poses/positions (standing on their heads, crab-walking, etc), and she said "I didn't know that was how boys peed!" And I said, "um... me neither??"
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I had a dream about Paul! He (you) was (were) making a movie with some guys from ESPN (except they weren't, not really). It turned out Paul was renowned for making these crazy, maybe Hangover-type movies, and everyone wanted to be in a movie with him (much like reality).
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About a week ago, I had a nightmare that our burglar alarm was going off in the middle of the night. I dissmissed this and sort of forgot about it.
A few days later, I was actually awoken in the middle of the night because our burglar alarm had gone off due to a technical issue.
I am now questioning if the first dream was actually a dream or if maybe the same situation happened twice.
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I had a dream about Paul! He (you) was (were) making a movie with some guys from ESPN (except they weren't, not really). It turned out Paul was renowned for making these crazy, maybe Hangover-type movies, and everyone wanted to be in a movie with him (much like reality).
Just now seeing this. It's not real, but it's a nice dream. On a totally unrelated subject, I saw the Jackass 3d movie a couple of weeks ago and Bonnie Prince Billy was in it. He played a fake gorilla trainer to a fake gorilla.
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The dreams last night ended with myself standing at an elevator and a little boy with glowing red eyes looked up at me and said:
"HELLO MICHAEL!"
And I thought to myself "Oh shit, that's one of those mind-reading Martians I was reading about... oh shit, now he thinks I'm racist against Martians... I'm not racist against Martians, I'm just afraid of their powers... OH SHIT HE HEARD THAT TOO!"
And then I woke up screaming.
In my head the blinking red eyes and the "Hello Michael" were uh...K.I.T.T. like.
Maybe you're racist against Knight Riders.
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I had a dream that my super-intellectual super-lefty old roommate was arguing with me (/intellectually bullying me) that Fight Club is the best movie of all time. Then he was trying to get me to "admit" that blowing up all the banks would be a really smart idea. Even in a dream, my response was "dude, a bank is not a big building where everyone has a piece of paper with their name on it. They have computers and the internet and stuff, that wouldn't work."
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I had a dream last night that someone had smashed the window of my hybrid in. I was relieved to see that this wasn't so this morning. I then realized that my life is so good that I only have nightmares about car break ins, rather than my job or relationships. It's a good time to be me.
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Also, given the history with your SO's truck, it is good to have dreams about car break-ins and wake up to have it not be true.
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Yeah, it felt like a pretty real dream. Due to a recent snow clearing I had to decide if I wanted to park either one street over or on our back pad, which is where the multiple break-ins occurred. I chose the other street. It's sad that we have two parking spots on our property that are basically unusable due to crime. The thing is, his vehicle was old school, and clearly had no alarm system, while the Hybrid has an alarm and an immobilizer, so anyone with a brain would know better than to try to break in to the Hybrid. Still, the strung out druggies around my place aren't in their right minds, so it's a sort of legitamate fear.
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Given some of the break-ins, I would say that brains aren't their strong suit.
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I dreamt that my laptop got a virus and crashed, and I really hadn't clicked on anything dangerous or anything. I wonder if my unconcious is telling me that I haven't updated the virus software lately.
But then after my laptop died I found a lost dog and was trying to call the phone number on its tags and my cell phone kept breaking into pieces. So maybe there is some broader anxiety at work.
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Was it a pug? Maybe you need to get another dog.
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It was not, it was just a regular yellow dog.
I think two dogs may be the limit after which you are a crazy dog person whose life is out of control. Although I will admit that I did try to convince the Tech Staff that we should try fostering a pug, just to make sure whether that was true.
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I also agree with this ratio. We have three cats, and on some level it creeps me out that they outnumber us.
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just a regular yellow dog.
This should be one of the titles associated with high post numbers.
Last night I dreamed a bad clown did something I didn't like and I slapped at him...he ducked away and disappeared, leaving behind only his round red nose, hovering in the air for a moment until it *popped* like a soap bubble.
Eerie. I like it.
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This should be one of the titles associated with high post numbers.
I was about to go and make it one of your titles, but seeing as you are already an emergency backup pug, I don't see how it can be possible for you to be both.
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I wouldn't want to create a dog-based rift in the forum-time continuum, anyway being Lazarus is kind of nice, it makes me feel like I've finally made it.
On a messageboard on the internet.
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Please don't give Doc so many titles that it fucks up the scanning of the board any time he makes a comment. I don't want to stop reading his responses.
I had a dream that one of my best friends advised me to join this "group" of sorts. After meeting with many of the members in an isolated location, I realized that I was being brainwashed into joining a cult. Eventually my wife showed up and saved me, with the inevitable result of my dreams: they all tried to kill me.
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I had a dream that one of my best friends advised me to join this "group" of sorts. After meeting with many of the members in an isolated location, I realized that I was being brainwashed into joining a cult. Eventually my wife showed up and saved me, with the inevitable result of my dreams: they all tried to kill me.
Like this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JSsUcUe19og)?
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I used to have that CD.
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I had a really long dream that involved a car chase going through a Whole Foods. This happened because the Whole Foods was built inside a cave/tunnel that used to be part of a roadway.
this dream had dramatic camera angles. Like at one point you think the cars got through without hurting anyone, and then the camera dramatically panned to show a tipped over cart, and blood spreading around it.
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Someone around here thinks that they are very, very funny.
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Due to playing Fallout: New Vegas obsessively, I have been dreaming nightly about hiking across the post-apocalyptic ruins of the Mojave desert, fighting gigantic irradiated scorpions and half-starved, (wo)man-eating coyotes.
Last night, while I was searching for the nearest town, I noticed smoke in the distance and smelled the almost overwhelmingly strong scent of roasting meat being carried on the dry breeze. I realized I hadn't eaten in days and picked up the pace in the direction of the smoke, but it seemed never to get any closer no matter how long I walked. Eventually, I woke up and realized that I could still smell food...it took me a good two or three minutes to remember that I had put a boston butt in the slow cooker before bed last night.
That is gonna be some tasty barbecue, for sures.
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Hopefully not irradiated.
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I was Michael Jackson, and I was innocent.
at one point someone was mean to me and I turned on the radio. "Beat It" was playing and I said "is that you? Is that your song on the radio? No? So shut up, asshole."
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Ha! That's totally something Ray would say.
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Ha! That's totally something Ray would say.
Ray who?
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Ray who?
You have been on fire lately.
I had a dream last night, the only thing I remembered when I woke up was that my wife was SO PISSED at me.
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About a week ago, my husband and I both had a dream that I offered to drive him to work in the morning. We both talk in our sleep, so I'm guessing we had a sleep-conversation. Unfortunatly he didn't get up in time to catch his bus and actually driving him to work that morning was impossible, as I had an early meeting I could not miss. Weird.
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Two dreams yesterday, both about ex-girlfriends.
One, a recent one that I still have issues with, I dreamt we ran into each other had a long conversation and resolved our issues. Woke up feeling ridiculously good, even if my closure is illusionary.
The other, a much older one, we were camping outside a club with a blanket and eventually started having sex on the sidewalk, people thought it was some form of busking and gave us money. I think there was also a sassy crossing guard, who knows why. I think this might have been something to do with seeing a documentary featuring John Lennon and Yoko Ono's 'Bed Peace' honeymoon.
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we were camping outside a club with a blanket and eventually started having sex on the sidewalk, people thought it was some form of busking and gave us money.
Say... That's so crazy it just might work!
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I always carry folding money for just such an eventuality.
More zombies last night.
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I woke up this morning and thought to myself, "I'm posting that on the 'I had a dream...' thread." but now I've forgotten what it was about.
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Last night I had a horrible fever nightmare that our dog had died and my husband had put him under the couch because he didn't know what else to with the body. He brought the body out and I stroked his dead, stumpy little legs. I was so relieved this morning that the pup was alive and doing fine. We had some extra snuggles to make up for it.
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He brought the body out and I stroked his dead, stumpy little legs.
This truly is the saddest thing.
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I had a bad dream that I was watching a movie that was going to give me bad dreams.
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I had a bad dream that I was watching a movie that was going to give me bad dreams.
Bad dreams because it was scary, or bad dreams because it was a terrible movie and you wasted your time watching it?
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Ha. Scary, like my usual sort of scary dreams with aircraft and fires.
I think I would be really mad to have a dream about watching a bad movie. Almost as bad as dreaming about work.
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I had a dream that I was doing my L.A. medical courier job except in Little Falls, NY.
I had to pick up from the local hospital and all the doctors were the younger siblings of people I went to high school with.
Like, not only had my peers left me in the dust, no, their little fuckin' brothers and sisters had.
I felt like shit and a half.
The move to NYC is probably a good thing or anyway will eventually be.
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series of dreams where my gal's friend seduced her and stole her from me.
1. dream where I deserved it. we had a fight and then I found him comforting her
2. dream where I saw him hug her, and beat the shit out of him.
oops.
I also handled this in the worst way possible. Where the best way possible would have been "it is just a dream, never even vaguely mention it again."
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The move to NYC is probably a good thing or anyway will eventually be.
I wonder how many people move to New York almost entirely so they never have to run into someone from high school ever again. Wouldn't work for me, of course.
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Nearly everyone I went to school with lives basically between the suburbs of Syracuse and the suburbs from Albany, yeah.
The only friends I'll have moving into NYC will be friends I made at college.
The only person I know in NYC who went to my high school, I had a HUGE falling out with and while I made my peace with her a few years back, I wouldn't wanna see her socially.
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"left me in the dust" and "live in suburbs between Syracuse and Albany"... does not compute.
whatever job you may be working at any given time, you have lived in LA and NYC. That is definitely leaving something in the dust. Or at least in your rear-view mirror.
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"left me in the dust" and "live in suburbs between Syracuse and Albany"... does not compute.
I'd'a said the same thing but it wouldn't have the same effect coming from a native of NYC.
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Well, like, you know.
In dream logic, being a doctor means you don't gotta worry about money again ever for the rest of your life.
Have I had more weird rad adventures than most people without a lot of money to their name or in their family?
Sure.
I'm practically a Roy-Baty-at-the-end-of-BLADERUNNER-speech of strange jobs and experiences people in a small town wouldn't even try doing, let alone do and discover that they were actually kinda mixed-bags in practice.
But in dream symbology, they were doctors, y'know.
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Last night's dream: I was in Las Vegas for some sort of professional convention. I got back to the hotel after being out somewhere, and a bunch of people I knew (including high school/college friends who have nothing to do with my profession, so why would they be at the conference, I don't know) were hanging around in the lobby. Someone there had their new baby with them, a boy, who I took an immediate shine to, and I asked if I could "borrow" him for a while. I took him up to my room and put him on the bed while I changed my clothes. Then my wife came in, and I explained to her that this was a high school friend's baby. Then it occurred to me I couldn't remember which friend I had gotten him from. I was debating how to remedy this--take him back to the lobby, walk around until someone recognized whose kid it was. Then I pondered just keeping him.
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Last night's dream: I was in Las Vegas for some sort of professional convention. I got back to the hotel after being out somewhere, and a bunch of people I knew (including high school/college friends who have nothing to do with my profession, so why would they be at the conference, I don't know) were hanging around in the lobby. Someone there had their new baby with them, a boy, who I took an immediate shine to, and I asked if I could "borrow" him for a while. I took him up to my room and put him on the bed while I changed my clothes. Then my wife came in, and I explained to her that this was a high school friend's baby. Then it occurred to me I couldn't remember which friend I had gotten him from. I was debating how to remedy this--take him back to the lobby, walk around until someone recognized whose kid it was. Then I pondered just keeping him.
So, a horrible, wake-up-screaming nightmare, then.
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No, it was surprisingly pleasant, considering that I am so not having any more kids IRL.
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Last night I dreamed I was back in university, hanging out in the lounge of student housing with some of my university friends. It was a very nostalgic feeling dream. Then Inevitable came in and he was very upset saying "someone got into my room and scanned everything in it." What this meant is that someone had used some sort of scanner to copy everything in his dorm room. He was particularly upset that one of his friends had tacked a photo of him in lady's attire up on his wall, and now that has been scanned and would be be available to anyone. A deeper concern for me was that people could now replicate his room to fuck with him and play nasty tricks on him. My university friends didn't care much about this situation - they were more interested in weed - but Inev was really shaken up by this invasion, and it bothered me too.
I woke up thinking that Inev, for me, is sort of an archtype of a student to me, symbolic of youth, learning and change. It made me feel he is more imaginary for me than I had previously realized.
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awesome.
also, did I show you guys the picture of me in a dress? I do not remember if I was on here back then.
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Yes, you did. That was a long time ago. I can't recall the thread though. I seem to recall telling you to eat something, and have noticed in more recent photos that you look more filled out (in a good way).
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I remember the dress picture, too.
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Lots of long nights in Alaska.
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Lots of long nights in Alaska.
It's all we have, this time of year.
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That I was beating off and some friends walked into my room and I just carried on. Other than me being really annoyed it was taking so dang long, it seemed pretty normal. I have never once beat off in front of anybody, aside from sexual partners, though. Except for this one time years ago I got really high and went into the bathroom and it was taking for...ev...er, and my friends started knocking on the door asking what I was doing. I assured them that whatever it was I was up to, I was NOT masturbating. Actual dialogue:
Friend: Hey what are you doing in there?
Me: Um [awkward pause] NOT masturbating [continues masturbating]
But there was a door between us and all. Anyway, I don't really remember which friends were there in the dream, except for one, who I believe showed up after one of those weird people/place shifts that take place in dreams, so I'm pretty sure she wasn't there to begin with. This is a friend toward whom I have no sexual feelings, and the conversation turned into one on the importance of self-examination of the breasts and testicles. I blame the dream on the above experience and this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-o98pVgQ9Q).
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I had forgotten about that video. That slow burn peace sign at the end just really gets me.
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Me: Um [awkward pause] NOT masturbating [continues masturbating]
I am feeling juvenile this morning. This cracks me up.
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I blame the dream on the above experience and this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-o98pVgQ9Q).
She really takes all the fun out of it doesn't she?
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You know, that whole Warhol "famous for 15 minutes" . . . . I never really thought it was true, not really. But there you go.
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...that justine bateman (oddly enough) had a new sketch comedy show with a bunch of comics from the state and other sketch troupes - michael ian black, thomas lennon, some madtv alumni - and i was at her house with all of them and my neighbor tracy watching the premier.
the last skit was "goodbyes gone wrong" where justine came out to say goodnight and the audience started booing and throwing things and she stood there basking in what she mistook as adulation. nobody seemed to enjoy it but justine, though it sounds funny enough to me right now and i must have enjoyed it in my dream. it reminded me of the old tracy ullman show's goodnights ("go home!") and seeing a lack of smiles on the castmates' faces i decided to take my leave. so i said in some kind of confused stupor to justine "sorry your show sucked, tracy" meaning tracy ullman, forgetting my neighbor tracy was there too, and wow did that get the worst reaction ever. i tried to reason through it with an "in reference to the last skit" line but that didn't work, so i continued out the door with "but i am... (beat) ...a fan" and shit just got even worse. that's about when i woke up.
being back home is just so confusing now
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...that I got on a plane and flew to Oz to see Doc. I didn't tell him I was coming, I just camped out on the steps in front of a building at the University at a time when I knew he'd be coming out of class. (Apparently, my subconscious doesn't recognize the subtleties of a medical education.) He didn't see me when he came out, so I had to call out to him, and my American accent was embarrassing. He turned around, recognized me, and in an impressive display of nonchalance, said, "Oh, hello," like he'd been expecting me. As we walked around campus, it changed into a store that sold tacky trinkets and shoddily constructed home decor items to middle-aged women in flower-print housedresses. One said something about us being a "young couple" and how relationships that start so early never work out, and I didn't want her to hear my accent (or perhaps how, in chatting with Doc, I'd picked up a horrible pidgin Australian mishmash that was even worse than a straight-up American accent), so I didn't bother to correct her.
Now, can I get through the rest of the day without calling anyone "mate?" We shall see.
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I, of course, have a dream like that basically every night.
The funny thing is you'd probably never pick up an Aussie accent off me, I have an odd voice that other Aussies usually think is Canadian. So we probably could get away with posing as a tourist couple ;-).
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Hilarious. Now I wonder what a Canadian would make of you, Doc. A typical American, of course, would think you were British*.
I seriously do the accent thing in real life -- when I'm talking to someone, no matter who they are, I pick up their mannerisms and accent really, really easily. It's not so noticeable when it's an accent similar to mine (midwestern US), but when it's one that's very different (my mother-in-law from Argentina; my sister-in-law from Georgia), I always worry that the other person will think I'm making fun of them. I don't mean to do it, I just can't turn it off.
I once watched a full season of Torchwood (which is set in Cardiff) in three days. I could hardly even understand myself for the whole next week.
*There was a joke to this effect in one episode of House -- Hugh Laurie, who, of course, is pretending to be American, accuses Jesse Spencer (a native of Melbourne) of having a "hoity-toity British accent," to which Spencer replies incredulously, "I'm Australian!" Laurie then proffers a very convincingly American, "Whatever."
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Hugh Laurie, who, of course, is pretending to be American
I haven't seen this show. Is he pretending? I thought he played an American on the show.
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I haven't seen this show. Is he pretending? I thought he played an American on the show.
He does play an American. He is, in actuality, very, very British.
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The female Welsh accent is one of my most shameless triggers. If I'm watching british tv I have to be careful because I instantly fall in love with any character that has one.
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The female Welsh accent is one of my most shameless triggers. If I'm watching british tv I have to be careful because I instantly fall in love with any character that has one.
I think I'll keep this information in my back pocket, just in case I ever do make it to Australia.
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The funny thing is you'd probably never pick up an Aussie accent off me, I have an odd voice that other Aussies usually think is Canadian. So we probably could get away with posing as a tourist couple ;-).
Mine is hopelessly muddy, since I learned to speak in the American midwest, was educated at an independent school by "cultivated Aussie" speakers, and worked like hell to lose the accent as a 7th grader in CA. Its embarrassing when I come across an Aussie Stateside because my accent comes out of remission.
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He does play an American. He is, in actuality, very, very British.
Yeah, I knew he was a Brit - I've been watching him since this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nxA0a5G6ccg) or so. I think it was just the construction of "pretending to be" that threw me off - I mean, he's pretending to be a doctor, too, right?
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My girlfriend's Luuuuuunnnng EYE-lend accent does the same thing when she is amoungst Her People.
I tell people she is my translator.
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Yeah, I knew he was a Brit - I've been watching him since this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nxA0a5G6ccg) or so. I think it was just the construction of "pretending to be" that threw me off - I mean, he's pretending to be a doctor, too, right?
Oh, yes, well. Acting is just pretending for an audience, though, right?
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Oh, yes, well. Acting is just pretending for an audience, though, right?
Sure. As I say, it was just the construction that threw me off - I'm just not accustomed to it being described that way, although as I think more about it I guess it makes more sense vis-a-vis the accents (I'm thinking Cary Elwes, mainly because he's so atrocious at accents). I was just thinking that show was all of a sudden really awesome to me - he pretends he's American!
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I don't know what Baby Girl dreamed last night, but she woke up sobbing, "My mama! I lost my mama! I lost my house!" This is the second night in a row she's had a nightmare, and I'm pretty sure the first one involved me, too.
I could weep. Anybody have experience with nightmares in children?
I have had terrible, recurrent nightmares my whole life, and Pedro has night terrors (Boy One has had terrors a few times as well), so it's likely that she's inherited that tendency from us. I don't remember my parents doing anything special other than letting me get in bed with them after the really bad ones. But when I was about 6 or 7 I had a nightmare that I woke up from a nightmare and went into my mom's room for comfort, only to discover that she had become a zombie vampire who then tried to bite/eat/kill me, and that was the end of that. I dealt with my nightmares on my own after that.
She might also be having side effects from the melatonin supplement we've started her on (at the geneticist's recommendation), so I think I'm going to try dropping her dose by about 25% to see if that helps. Has anyone else had nightmares from melatonin? I know it can happen but it's not considered a "common" side effect.
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I can see that working with Boy One, but Girl Thing is seriously waking up in hysterics and unable to be calmed even after she sees that I and her house are fine and not lost. And she can't yet articulate the scary parts in more than half a dozen words. Remember, she is two, and she has a bit of a communication delay at that. (Not as much as Boy One did, but just enough so you'd notice.)
Holding her and offering comfort does not seem like enough. I want to fix it. I want there to be a magic answer, and I suspect there probably is none.
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Personally, I'd rather hear about Jayelle's folks than that (probably you would have, too).
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yikes.
I want my kids to have a healthy attitude towards sex, but do not want them to tell me about their sexcapades.
related: last night I had a dream where I saw my parents in a movie, back when they were actors in LA (this never happened.) At some point I realized there was going to be a sex scene, and turned the movie off. They were really bad actors.
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When I was 19 my mom caught me coming in at 2am or something after canoodling with my girlfriend (who she had not yet met). "I don't care what the Pope says, you'd better be using some kind of protection - or two! I'm too young to be a grandma!" (She was 45 at the time). Fast forward 14 years - after 2 years of childless marriage "Don't wait too long, I don't want to be an old granny to little ones!". Women and their time schedules.
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From now on more of my advice is going to prefaced with 'I don't care what the Pope says'.
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Maybe the sex scene would have saved it.
WHY FIND OUT
From now on more of my advice is going to prefaced with 'I don't care what the Pope says'.
Seriously. If Onstad wrote that it would be a thread title.
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Natty P agrees (http://coverawards.com/2010/12/29/natalie-portman-my-lesbian-scene-made-black-swan-a-success/)
also, in the dream my parents were "young," which meant they looked like they do now but with goofy wigs.
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My mom is frequently, unintentionally, brilliant/funny. I wish I could remember half the stuff she says. There'd be a memoir someday. Glad I'm along for the ride.
"Oh, I've got one: What's green, bloody, and bloated and floats in Sydney Harbour? -The next son-of-a-bitch who tells an Irish joke."
-Patricia Wallace (née Murphy)
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This morning I dreamed it was the period where my ex said she was leaving but hadn't actually moved out yet. She was having a party, I was going elsewhere and just before I left I walked in on her changing, she freaked out. Oh, and she had a tiny wang.
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My mom is frequently, unintentionally, brilliant/funny. I wish I could remember half the stuff she says. There'd be a memoir someday. Glad I'm along for the ride.
"Oh, I've got one: What's green, bloody, and bloated and floats in Sydney Harbour? -The next son-of-a-bitch who tells an Irish joke."
-Patricia Wallace (née Murphy)
This was unintentionally funny? Your mom is kind of a bad-ass.
Oh, and she had a tiny wang.
As opposed to the enormous wang she has in reality? Zing!
Couldn't help myself. It's an illness, really.
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I had a dream last night that involved this man (http://www.flickr.com/photos/pmcd9/4440400377/), Randy and this woman (http://www.flickr.com/photos/pmcd9/4600918511/), Ember. I should point out right from the start that I have a huge crush on Ember. She's one of the sweetest ladies I know and totally hot. Now if Facebook status updates are any indicator, Ember and Randy are two of the most happily married people in America. Except they are not married to one another. In my dream however they had just gotten married and we are at the reception which is being held in a nice hall with a big stage. The band is playing and everyone is dancing. The party is really hopping. So the leader of the band calls Ember up to the stage. She is going to sing Randy's favorite song Rhiannon. I have no idea what Randy's actual favorite song is. So she starts singing and she's really good. The crowd is just going nuts for her. I notice that of all the faces in the crowd she's focusing her attention on me. She leans over for emphasis and her blouse falls open and I can see that she has a dragon tattooed on her left breast.
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I hope it's not actually Rhiannon.
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This is way late, but I've tended to have weirder and more intense dreams on Melatonin. Which kind of didn't help the needing to sleep part, so I stopped taking it.
Usually my nightmares are things like "Some <piece of technology> is on in my room" and I keep waking up and stumbling around to turn them off (they are already off). They're not really scary, they just break up the sleep cycle and make me feel horrible the next day.
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I swore off Melatonin.
It fucked my dreams up WAY the fuck too much.
Diphenhydramine and/or maybe a little valerian tea, thank you very much.
I got enough monsters in my head, I ain't need MORE.
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We dropped her dose to .75 mg and for the last 2 nights she's slept like an angel. Here's hoping it stays that way.
Without melatonin it was taking her literally 4 - 5 hours of lying in her bed in the dark, occasionally weeping, before she would finally fall asleep. We'd put her in bed at 8 and she'd still be awake at midnight. We had the bedtime routine, too, just like all the books say -- warm bath, dim the lights, a quiet, calming video on TV and some snuggling on the couch -- nothing worked. I stopped letting her take afternoon naps, but all that did was make her overtired by suppertime.
And then she'd wake up on her own at 8 AM and be crabby and impossible because she was permanently sleep deprived. I don't like to complain, but have you ever hung out with a grumpy-tired toddler? Ever try to take one to the grocery store? That was my life, every single day of it, for six months, and I do not want to go back to those days if it can be avoided.
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An ex of mine just told me yesterday about a dream she had in which I figured prominently, with the sexing of her and her ex-girlfriend. She mentioned that at one point my wife moseyed by, watched for a bit, and approvingly said "carry on". The dream sounded good - I wish it had been me who dreamed it.
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Even in other people's imaginations Nabu's lady is a class act.
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A classy lady knows when to treat a hot threeway like the gift from God that it is.
To break up a hot threeway would be like murdering a thing of beauty for no real reason at all.
It would be as if to kill a mockingbird.
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You know, ever since I read that book I've wondered if Southern mockingbirds are different from the ones here - because these guys are plain and have terrible voices. Entertaining sometimes because you can hear them imitating car alarms every once in a while.
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man, I hate straightforward wish-fulfillment dreams.
first the dreams where I found out that if i went to grad school I was guaranteed to get an awesome job.
now these. Fuck these dreams.
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A young woman (Eliza Dushku) meets a wealthy older man (Steve Martin) in a four-star Canadian hotel. She's in town on a six-week work-study program for college and somehow ends up sitting near him in the expensive hotel restaurant (the dream picks up from this point so I don't know why she was there). He is there on what he calls "my annual business trip to attend to some...matters." He's very mysterious about it. They strike up a conversation, he buys her dinner and asks her to come back the following afternoon.
They meet again, and they begin to develop feelings for each other, but she reveals that her high school sweetheart is waiting for her back home. She's torn, and on his last night in the city, just as it appears she's going to choose to travel the world with him, she asks him one final question: Why are you here? What secret business do you have to attend to?
He won't tell her. She says, I need to know that you're a good person. I need to know that whatever you're doing isn't something that exploits the poor or causes the deaths of hundreds of African babies or something. She says, I'm not naive. I know how business works. And I need to know that you're an honest businessman. He looks at her, stands up, pushes a stack of poker chips in her direction (the hotel had a casino for some reason?), and walks out of her life...forever.
The next day, she walks into the hair salon at the hotel, puts on an apron, and thanks a co-worker for covering for her for a few days. "I had some business to attend to." The whole thing was a con. And she's tens of thousands richer.
I dreamed a heist film disguised as a romantic comedy. It was...kind of epic.
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It's like Lost in Translation meets The Sting.
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I haven't seen Lost in Translation. I heard it was good, if you like that sort of thing. I can sit through a rom-com if my girlfriends drag me to one, but I'd never choose to watch one on my own. For this, Pedro is thankful.
I've seen The Sting several times. I love heist movies most of all.
I'm pretty sure Steve Martin and Eliza Dushku played these roles in my dream because I've been watching Season 2 of Dollhouse, and also about a week ago I saw the episode of 30 Rock where Steve Martin has the hots for Liz Lemon and he turns out to be a convicted criminal under house arrest. Also, because Martin and Dushku are both super, super hot.
Super hot.
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watch Lost in Translation but don't go into it expecting a rom-com, because that isn't what you get. i can't think of a genre it fits in, really.
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Martin? Hot? Really?
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Martin? Hot? Really?
Haven't we talked about this before? I totally have a Steve Martin thing.
Dude is funny, but he's also HELL OF SMART, I love that. And that shock of sexy white hair, holy crap. And he has probably one of the ten best smiles in the history of film. Definitely top fifteen, no question.
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Navin R. Johnson? Sounds like a typical bastard.
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It's like Lost in Translation meets The Sting.
I'd pick The Spanish Prisoner rather than The Sting, for reasons that should be obvious.
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I'd pick The Spanish Prisoner rather than The Sting, for reasons that should be obvious.
Not if you haven't seen The Spanish Prisoner.
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August, that needs to be corrected immediately.
I'll watch Lost in Translation (http://Lost in Translation) if you watch The Spanish Prisoner (http://The Spanish Prisoner). Deal?
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August, that needs to be corrected immediately.
I'll watch Lost in Translation (http://Lost in Translation) if you watch The Spanish Prisoner (http://The Spanish Prisoner). Deal?
Uh, OK I guess.
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The Spanish Prisoner is quality watchings.
I'm a little surprised the $-themed film festival I went to a few years back didn't show The Sting. But they did show both Italian Jobs back-to-back and The Million Pound Note so I suppose it all works out.
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Did they show the original Thomas Crown Affair (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0063688/)? That's a solid film, and it has the master of cool (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000537/) (he once got arrested in my hometown!).
Sadly, they are filming a sequel to the remake.
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Did they show the original Thomas Crown Affair (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0063688/)? That's a solid film, and it has the master of cool (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000537/) (he once got arrested in my hometown!).
Sadly, they are filming a sequel to the remake.
Maybe, I don't recall. They did have this film where the actual bank break-in was shot in real-time. It takes like 26 minutes and there's no dialog during. Supposedly the movie was banned in France for years because they considered it a how-to on bank robbing.
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Maybe, I don't recall. They did have this film where the actual bank break-in was shot in real-time. It takes like 26 minutes and there's no dialog during. Supposedly the movie was banned in France for years because they considered it a how-to on bank robbing.
I conflated the bank robbery with France and fondly remembered Killing Zoe (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0110265/).
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I did some googling. I was thinking of Rififi
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I think JL's dream sounds kind of like Intolerable Cruelty.
Also I can't picture Steve Martin being suave and dangerous, the closest I can get to is him in LA story kind of self-consciously putting on an act of being sauve and dangerous. Which I'd still like.
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He's suave and dangerous in the Jerk, just not at the same time.
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Shopgirl
(everything else about that movie sucks)
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Shopgirl
(everything else about that movie sucks)
I liked the book, but didn't see the movie because my friend (who gave me the book) said the movie a really terrible adaptation.
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it just made me really mad when he kept having voiceovers.
Just woke up from a dream where I found out my dad had been majorly turning the heat up on my bro in terms of college choices (to be an RA, apply for internships, major in something "useful," get stellar grades, etc.) I said, "wait, but he was so laid back about that stuff with me." Then my mom told me that they've never had high expectations for me, since I have no ambition whatsoever, but even still they feel like they really screwed up, because LOOK at me and what I'm doing with my life. The dream ended with me considering exactly how much money my parents had paid for me to go to fancy fantasy camp where I could take classes about what people eat in Guinea-Bisseau.
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....that President Obama was assassinated, and the nation was (mostly) thrown into a state of shock and mourning that rivaled that felt after 9/11.
While this was going on, I found a casket in a forgotten closet that contained the body of my late grandmother. I wanted to open it to say goodbye to her one last time, but then I remembered that at her funeral, they'd had a closed casket because she was beaten to death, and I didn't know if I wanted to see how bad she looked.
Very disturbing set of dreams.
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I got a new bed two days ago and I've slept 10 hours a night for the past two nights. If there were dreams I have no recollection of them. I slept like a rock. I feel invigorated. I had no idea a comfortable bed would make so much of a difference.
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...that I met a guy with a pair of pugs that only had two legs each. They were conjoined littermates that he rescued and paid insane amounts of money to have separated. Fortunately they each had their own set of all the important organs, and they both survived. He wheeled them around on little carts because neither of them could walk, but they looked on the whole pretty happy and well-cared for.
Then he showed me his newest pet -- a kitten that looked like of one of my daughter's Littlest Pet Shop (http://www.amazon.com/Littlest-Pet-Shop-Assortment-Collectible/dp/B003V5A0JM/) figures (they are about 2" tall with bobble heads). It also only had two legs. He said he loved his two-legged pugs so much that when the shelter at which he volunteered got word of this kitten with major birth defects that had been rejected by its mother, he rescued it and had been feeding it with a syringe and carrying it in his shirt pocket to keep it warm enough to survive.
As I held the tiny thing in my hand, its tail grew longer and longer and it sat up and started to bounce around like a monkey. Then I realized that it *was* a tiny little monkey, and I started to doubt whether this guy knew what he was doing or if he was telling the truth at all. But how else would he get a pair of two-legged pugs that were exact mirror images of each other?
Then I woke up.
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I feel responsible for this. I apologize.
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...that I met a guy with a pair of pugs that only had two legs each. They were conjoined littermates that he rescued and paid insane amounts of money to have separated. Fortunately they each had their own set of all the important organs, and they both survived. He wheeled them around on little carts because neither of them could walk, but they looked on the whole pretty happy and well-cared for.
Then he showed me his newest pet -- a kitten that looked like of one of my daughter's Littlest Pet Shop (http://www.amazon.com/Littlest-Pet-Shop-Assortment-Collectible/dp/B003V5A0JM/) figures (they are about 2" tall with bobble heads). It also only had two legs. He said he loved his two-legged pugs so much that when the shelter at which he volunteered got word of this kitten with major birth defects that had been rejected by its mother, he rescued it and had been feeding it with a syringe and carrying it in his shirt pocket to keep it warm enough to survive.
As I held the tiny thing in my hand, its tail grew longer and longer and it sat up and started to bounce around like a monkey. Then I realized that it *was* a tiny little monkey, and I started to doubt whether this guy knew what he was doing or if he was telling the truth at all. But how else would he get a pair of two-legged pugs that were exact mirror images of each other?
Then I woke up.
This post was much more disturbing before I realized what thread it was in.
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This post was much more disturbing before I realized what thread it was in.
This happens to me a lot, and I don't know what it says that oftentimes I think "well, that's pretty odd" and not "how the hell??"
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I was posing as the kicker for a college football team that was in one of those shitty minor bowls. I don't know how I had pulled this off or even why.
Our return guy ran the kick-off back for a touchdown and I missed the extra point and I was really feeling like shit. A dude came up to me, like a back-up offensive lineman, and was like "hey, man, what classes you taking next year?" and, y'know, I didn't know what fuck*ng classes I was taking, I wasn't actually a college student, I was a dude posing as a college kicker for reasons I didn't fully understand.
So I worked up something like "I dunno, man, if I'm this shitty a kicker in pressure situations, maybe I'll just drop out." This evaded my lack of college knowledge admirably.
Eventually, the team started really getting their asses kicked but it wasn't really my fault from the missed kick, it was because all of the team's wide receivers were such as twelve years old and were getting brutally destroyed, either getting the pass broken up in front of them or getting completely smeared after the catch.
A time-out was taken and I kept trying to convince the offensive coordinator to put me in as a pass-eligible tight end because, like, I was bigger than most of the opposing team and I could at least get a few yards after the catch because though I am slow, I could take the hit at least. The coordinator liked the idea very much but couldn't convince the coach. The time-outs, though, were allowed to take as long as the team wanted so the coach sent everyone to the hotel to take a nap.
I wandered off and went to a frequent setting in my dreams, a theme bar meant to recreate Cheers where some of the actors from the show would show up and act out their parts for a while if they needed some extra money. I'm there in my dreams every few months. Ted Danson was working.
The ghost of my grandfather was in the corner, eating a cheeseburger and complaining about what a disappointment I was, even though he couldn't see me because he was a ghost.
Eventually my dad showed up, which dispelled the ghost, he'd been out doing some shopping and popped into Cheers. He had no idea I was in town.
He refused to let me pay off my tab, paid it for me, and we left as I told him the story of my brief career as a football player.
"Ah," he said, "it's better you stopped, you'd get brain damage."
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"Ah," he said, "it's better you stopped, you'd get brain damage."
If this dream is any indication, it might already be too late!
*rimshot*
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Some of us who spent 15 years rapping the old bean in that sport are actively monitoring that reality/nightmare (http://www.suntimes.com/sports/3943275-419/dave-duerson-legacy-look-out.html).
Did you read PK's reporting on Ernie Accorsi's bullshit about in the old days people tackled differently? I don't want to be too dickish about it, considering your personal stake in it, but jesus. Nobody sensible is buying that shit. There is some kind of inverse proportion of better protection combining with more vicious hits and all that, but shit does have to be safer. This is not new.
I am truly sorry that this beast, that I have endorsed in my own way, may have a personal impact on you and yours.
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Did you read PK's reporting on Ernie Accorsi's bullshit about in the old days people tackled differently? I don't want to be too dickish about it, considering your personal stake in it, but jesus. Nobody sensible is buying that shit. There is some kind of inverse proportion of better protection combining with more vicious hits and all that, but shit does have to be safer. This is not new.
There have been similar statements about hockey. "Back when no one wore helmets or face guards, you didn't have high-sticking. Guys just didn't do it. They knew not to risk hitting anyone in the face."
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(http://lloydvance.files.wordpress.com/2010/08/ya-tittle.jpg)
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The Galloping Ghost! Nice job! You are too fast for me.
Since hockey was mentioned, my favorite Red Wing:
(http://pictopia.com/perl/get_image?provider_id=220&size=550x550_mb&ptp_photo_id=242912)
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Is that Howe?
Here's my favorite Red Wing. It's a hard choice, tho, because they're my #1 team. (They're the only team I pull for against Carolina, and that's saying something.)
(http://www.hockeyhermit.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/sergei-fedorov.jpg)
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Ted Lindsay. Howe is awesome, true, but Ted's my boy. They called Pat Verbeek (also former Red Wing) "The Little Ball of Hate", but for my money Ted was the original. He was "Terrible Ted" before Mr. Nugent, so that guy can go to hell. The NHL has several particular penalties specifically because of him. Also, he was 5' 8", which is fuck*ng awesome. First guy to skate with the Cup, which is also awesome.
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ok, the number of dreams I have had now where I turn down a beautiful woman for sex, only to have my girlfriend walk in and think I am making out with a beautiful woman, is really ridiculous.
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Maybe next time just go with it, since it's pissing your dream girlfriend anyway.
But what if the next time it happens it's actually real life and not a dream and you cheat on her for real. Ooooooh shiiiiiiiiit.
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lately I am having a lot of those mini-dreams/dreamlike thoughts just as I fall asleep. lots of really hilarious gags. (that are probably only funny to me.)
but my favorite so far came after reading Wombat talking about how she does not care about fashion-- I dreamed that later she said that the Technical Staff is also the Fashion Staff, because he keeps up with fashion trends and picks out all of her clothing.
the other main image that I enjoy was:
a woman walking her giant pet elephant up the parking-garage ramp at the building where I work. A man in a nice car honks, because the elephant is having diarrhea all over his car, as well as significantly slowing traffic. The woman screams "you think you've got it bad!? My dog (elephant?) doesn't even have a job! He's here to apply for a job!"
Then she reassured the elephant by praising it for shitting all over her face.
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but my favorite so far came after reading Wombat talking about how she does not care about fashion-- I dreamed that later she said that the Technical Staff is also the Fashion Staff, because he keeps up with fashion trends and picks out all of her clothing.
That is hysterically unrealistic.
The elephant having diarrhea one, that sounds like a nightmare.
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The elephant having diarrhea one, that sounds like a nightmare.
Only if you have to clean it up.
A friend of mine posted this on Facebook tonight
so some guy came into walgreens tonight. very cool, very casual, asking if he can use the restroom. "yeah no problem," i sent him on back there and as he's walking back there i call for another employee to help him in the restroom... 2 minutes later the employee comes back heaving on all the cosmetics and screaming that he shat all over the place. apparently while she was walking behind the guy he started dropping turds from the bottom of his #####. when he left i asked if he was alright, and he raised his hands at me (the man was COVERED in shit!) and says "what!? it was an accident!" like he was offended by my question, and walked out the door. needless to say i laughed all night. when the manager and the employee helping clean up went into the men's restroom, he'd apparently painted on damn near everything including door halndles, but not including the sink. we found random trail particles of everywhere he stepped on the way out of the door.
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I was in Walgreen's one time and there was a guy in front of me at the pharmacy counter, and the back of his ##### were soaked in blood - in the sitting down area. I wouldn't have told this story, and indeed have never shared it, but it seemed like it fit here.
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yeah, recently a guy came through my line and as he was leaving I realized he was bleeding a lot from his hand. Gross.
I just woke up from a dream where my favorite band asked me to play guitar for them, in front of a huge crowd. Awesome.
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yeah, recently a guy came through my line and as he was leaving I realized he was bleeding a lot from his hand. Gross.
Um, I am pretty conversant with bleeding from the hand, and its causes and cures. I have bled from my hand on many occasions. This dude appeared to have been stabbed many times in the colon. And probably had been, in a euphemistical way.
Yes, I went directly there.
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it was just jarring to realize mid-conversation that he was bleeding and shaking. I did not mean to say this was the same as what happened to you.
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it was just jarring to realize mid-conversation that he was bleeding and shaking. I did not mean to say this was the same as what happened to you.
Hey, I'm just busting your balls a little. I didn't mean anything by it.
Now get your fuck*ng shine box.
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I just woke up from a dream where my favorite band asked me to play guitar for them, in front of a huge crowd. Awesome.
Who is your favorite band?
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i'm going to hazard a guess with "Thee Oh Sees"
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I'll put my money on Sonic Youth.
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I'm going to break with the crowd and say it's one of those dream things where it wasn't any specific band but he somehow knew it was his favorite band. I'll probably be wrong, but I know in my heart I'm really right.
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Well I guess that depends if Miles was asking him who is his favorite band in the dream or in real life.
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Thee Oh Sees. I guess actually they are not my favorite band, they are my favorite band who is currently putting out albums. My favorite band is probably Pavement, even though recently I am realizing they recorded tons of stuff I have never heard.
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Thee Oh Sees. I guess actually they are not my favorite band, they are my favorite band who is currently putting out albums. My favorite band is probably Pavement, even though recently I am realizing they recorded tons of stuff I have never heard.
But was that the band in the dream?
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yes.
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yes.
You're doing it wrong. You're supposed to say "it was the band, but somehow the drummer was a brontosaurus. With a cowboy hat. And at the same time, he was Warren Buffet.
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A couple nights ago I dreamt that I was Anthony Bourdain, shooting No Reservations somewhere in the Pacific Rim. I was suddenly having a terrible heart attack, and as I was dying I thought, "Hey, my life has been pretty awesome, so I'm okay to die." Odd.
Last night I dreamt that my husband and I had rented this awesome Beach house right on the ocean. We had just put the dog out in the back yard, and then a tsunami hit, and water starting coming in the windows and I could see the dog bobbing around in the water. The water was rough and it was clear the dog was going to drown, and I screamed at my husband to save him, but he said there was nothing he could do - he was good as dead. I told him if he wasn't going to save him I would, so I got some rope and went out into the water, but then I found a boat and we took the boat over and saved the dog. Moments later, people were all spashing around in the water like it was the beach again, even though everything was flooded and the water levels were still crazy high. I felt this impending sense of doom that more bad things were to come, especially more water, but kids were playing with beach toys and everyone was splashing and having a good time right outside the beach house window, with water right up to the building a couple feet deep.
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I dreamt that my wife, my stepdaughter, and, my mom, and I were at a show co-headlined by U2 and Lady Gaga. Clint Mansell opened and played the drums as part of a rockin' band. I griped to my mom that U2 sucked now and the last time they were good live was the Elevation tour. During their first song the jumbotron listed some ills of the world, including a government travel warning stating that eating certain polluted Haitian game birds could cause liver bloat. One should let the liver bloat before taking the recommended megadose of vitamin D. For their second song, Bono held an acoustic guitar while a canned recording of a woman singing Margaritaville in Spanish played. Mid-song, he took a backwards swan dive and landed on his back on a lower platform. A female dancer spun off the stage, hitting her hip on the platform and falling to the floor.
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Bono held an acoustic guitar while a canned recording of a woman singing Margaritaville in Spanish played. Mid-song, he took a backwards swan dive and landed on his back on a lower platform. A female dancer spun off the stage, hitting her hip on the platform and falling to the floor.
Awesome. Reminds me of this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIpkMg9sh6Q).
NO HAY BANDA.
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Jorge's dream immediately reminded me of a dream I had once where we all saw Paul accidentally kill himself by swan-diving backwards off of a waterfall.
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Jorge's dream immediately reminded me of a dream I had once where we all saw Paul accidentally kill himself by swan-diving backwards off of a waterfall.
Did we see it because he posted photos posthumously?
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no, we were all hanging out together.
of course, we all immediately got on the board to talk about what we had just seen.
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Awesome. Reminds me of this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIpkMg9sh6Q).
NO HAY BANDA.
Yes. I thought of that this morning--a little earlier in that scene.There was the same slow recognition of a familiar pop song sung in a foreign language.
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yikes, a dream where my girlfriend was trying to get me to move in with her and I told her that I don't trust her since she dumped me that one time.
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Well.
That's a good reason to doubt.
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about two weeks into dating the woman who would become my missus, she broke up with me because her friends thought i was wrong for her. a week later she contacted me and apologized and asked for another shot. that was thirteen years ago.
granted, it was an easy reason to break things off at an early point, and a damned good apology. spend some time thinking about it and figure out how much you actually do trust her. you'll know where to go from there.
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In real life, I do not think the issue is not trusting her. I just feel really ambivalent about things these days. I wish we saw each other a lot more, but we have jobs/school with conflicting hours. When we do see each other, it tends to be late at night. We make out, and then sleep. Or, we watch a movie and drink a beer or two, and she falls asleep on my couch. In a month she is leaving for the whole summer. She did not really try to find a summer job in STL at all, because she thinks Chicago is the greatest city in the world, and would never consider living anywhere else for any reason. She is also one of those weird people who really likes being around their family all the time.
mostly, though, that dream was that we were driving around the city looking at awesome buildings. Which is what I wish we did a lot more.
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mostly, though, that dream was that we were driving around the city looking at awesome buildings. Which is what I wish we did a lot more.
Now that is my idea of a date. Surely you can find someone who shares this interest.
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She would like doing that, but normally we don't end up seeing each other until it is dark out. I typically have work from 2 PM until 10 PM, and she has work at night as well during the week. Sometimes I have a day off on the weekend, and then we do things like that. I have a list of fun date ideas, but they all require it to be daytime/dinner time.
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mostly, though, that dream was that we were driving around the city looking at awesome buildings. Which is what I wish we did a lot more.
I love to do this in Portland, on foot. So many awesome buildings downtown.
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She is also one of those weird people who really likes being around their family all the time.
Seriously what is up with bitches who be all up with the stable and loving family shiz.
It be freaking me out yo
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"what is the most expensive production the BBC ever put on?"
"well, if you take the correct perspective, the final Beatles special. Not only must you take account of all of the previous Beatles specials, without which this one would be impossible... you must take into account that without the BBC, the Beatles could not have existed. Furthermore, without the British empire, and the entire rest of British history going back thousands of years, the Beatles could not have existed. For this reason, The Beatles are probably Britain's most expensive production."
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"what is the most expensive production the BBC ever put on?"
"well, if you take the correct perspective, the final Beatles special. Not only must you take account of all of the previous Beatles specials, without which this one would be impossible... you must take into account that without the BBC, the Beatles could not have existed. Furthermore, without the British empire, and the entire rest of British history going back thousands of years, the Beatles could not have existed. For this reason, The Beatles are probably Britain's most expensive production."
Are you sure this landed where you wanted it to?
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That sounds like fairly solid dream logic to me.
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England was just a backwater island somewhere until the Beatles came along.
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yep, it was a dream. I woke up and laughed at how rad and funny that dream was.
I have a disease where I think my dreams are really interesting and funny.
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I awoke this morning from a dream in which I was in a giant guitar store (which also had a ball pit, so whatever) and this guy was trying to sell me a guitar. He showed me a bunch of Gibsons, but they all had something that I didn't like about them. He showed me a Zakk Wylde Les Paul, with the big target on it, and then some guitar that had like 50 strings on it. Then he showed me a leopard-print strat. Then the owner (who turned out to be the guy who fucked us over on the remodel job in real life) said he'd by me breakfast the next day if I bought a guitar - and he specifically mentioned there would be beef involved. Then my wife came into the store and she was wearing a little dress that basically came down to about her waist. So, um, yeah.
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He showed me... some guitar that had like 50 strings on it.
This one only has 34 strings.
(http://blog.nheconomy.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/rick_nielsen.jpg)
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i bet that bitch is heavy.
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...that I was single and I was going to a water park with a large group of singles, some of whom I did not know well, but the group also included my BFF. For some reason, we had to walk up the side of the highway to get there, and a small group of us got separated and lost. We took the next exit to ask for directions and ended up in an English Village type of mini theme park, where this nice young man helped us figure out where to go.
This was a long process, however, and it was getting pretty late by then, so we hung out and decided not to go on to the water park because we didn't want to walk the rest of the way in the dark. The Nice Young Man ended his shift and hung out with us, showing us the cooler shops and activities in the village, including a book store with ceilings that were only 4" tall where you navigated the stacks by kneeling on a small mat and using handrails to slide along highly waxed floors. If you pulled with any effort at all, you could really fly down the corridors. While we were there I found a huge selection of picture books that I remembered from my childhood that I thought were out of print, but I didn't buy them because I didn't have a backpack to carry them in.
Then the Nice Young Man let us come into the employee breakroom since we had noplace else to go -- he cleared it with his boss first -- and we were sitting around drinking soda and he was flirting with me and stuff, and I was flattered 'cause he was kind of cute, even if he was a bit on the young side. And then he said something about doing a third grade school project and going on the internet, and I was like, "OMG, wait, how old are you?" and he said, "Fifteen," which was a shock to me, because I would have guessed about twenty--three. I mean, dude had razor stubble. No way was he half my age.
Some other stuff happened that I don't remember, and then it was time to say goodbye to the Nice Young Man, and I told him thanks but I'd probably never see him again, and he said, "OK, I understand. I love you. Bye." And I did a double take, and I said, "Did you just say you love me?" And he said, "Yes, I do love you." And I tried to convince him that he couldn't possibly love me, he barely knew me, etc. and then I remembered what it was like to be fifteen, and I thought, oh, what the hell, may as well give him something to remember. So I kissed him (not a chaste, close-mouthed kiss, either). I woke up halfway through the kiss.
I'm choosing to believe that he was joking when he said he was fifteen and I'm not actually a total creeper. It's my dream, I can do that if I want, right?
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I'm pretty sure Judy couldn't have been much older than 15 when he started posting here. Just putting that out there.
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This one only has 34 strings.
(http://blog.nheconomy.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/rick_nielsen.jpg)
Um . . . 36.
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Um . . . 36.
Yeah, but two strings on the twelve-string are broken, so...
How much do you think that thing weighs, anyhow? 50 pounds?
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If it was a Gibson Les Paul instead of a Hamer, it'd weigh 150 pounds.
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And then this:
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/a8/Guitarronero001.jpg)
And then this other thing:
(http://www.manzer.com/guitars/images/stories/pikasso/4AB685F146334FD6.jpg)
So, good luck with those.
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What the? But how do you even... And what about the...
Oh never mind.
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There are twelve strings on the instrument in the second picture that you can't even see - they run toward the back.
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Last night I dreamed I was at JL's house. Nothing terribly exciting happened except I kept calling The Boy by my friends' kid's name by accident and it really bothered him.
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That is really funny, because one of his favorite games right now is to purposely call himself and other people by the wrong names.
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Zombies again.
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I was a student at a fancy British prep school. Lots of whippings and handling raw steaks and shame.
Then, suddenly: angry sex with a large hispanic woman.
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I was a student at a fancy British prep school. Lots of whippings and handling raw steaks and shame.
Then, suddenly: angry sex with a large hispanic woman.
two out of three aint bad.
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two out of three aint bad.
A can for Mr. Loaf.
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I had a dream that I, as an adult, was about to make a major speech (to other important adults) within a junior high like setting, and I couldn't remember my damn locker combination. I was also worried that Anthony Bourdain was my opening act and that I couldn't follow him. On my way down the hall (tiled, lined with lockers) several respectable politicos and professional artists were stopping me on the way to the classroom, telling me they were so looking forward to my speech. Later, in a classroom, sitting in a too small desk with a bunch of other adults, Bourdain was entertaining me and everyone else with his varied stories of world travel, and gushed about how awesome I am and I knew I was gonna be okay with my speech. Everyone was so relaxed and I knew I was going to rock it. One of my cats woke me up, which is too bad. I wonder what I was going to talk about?
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Um . . . 36.
So you are right. I thought that one on the bottom was a bass.
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The Technical Staff dreamed that Osama bin Laden had been hiding in our air conditioning unit for years and we didn't know it.
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The Technical Staff dreamed that Osama bin Laden had been hiding in our air conditioning unit for years and we didn't know it.
That's pretty awesome.
s_s, I dream about forgetting my combination often. It's strange what a common trope that is.
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A junior high or high school setting is common for many people's dreams it seems. The dreams I have in such locations are rarely set in my actual schools though. Just a sort of pastiche of what schools are like.
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Oh yeah! I pretty much never dream about an actual school I attended - it's just the weird locker combination thing that is so very strange to me.
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From The Dream Moods Dream Dictionary (http://www.dreammoods.com/dreamdictionary/)
Locker
To see or use a locker in your dream, signifies aspects of yourself which you have kept hidden inside. Consider what items and belongings are in the locker. In particular, to dream of a school locker, denotes hidden feelings, knowledge, and attitudes that you need to learn and/or acknowledge. To dream of a PE locker, refers to physical abilities that you have yet to recognize. You are experiencing some physical limitations.
To dream that you cannot open a locker or that your forgot the combination, suggests that you are unsure of where you stand in a particular situation. You feel you have lost some aspect of yourself. In other words, you are on shaky ground. If you cannot find your locker, then it symbolizes your insecurities about your role or position in a situation.
To dream that someone else is using your locker, suggests that someone can see right through you and your facade. You feel that this person has access to your hidden Self.
Interesting. I've also had dreams where I can't remember where my locker is or can't find my locker.
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Does it say anything about contact lenses? Because the ones where they just keep getting bigger and bigger while you're trying to put them in are freaking weird.
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My recurring school dream is where I'm sitting in class, and realizing I have no idea what the teacher/professor is going on about. Then it slowly dawns on me that I haven't been to this class since the beginning of the semester, and I start panicking realizing how much work I've missed.
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My recurring school dream is where I'm sitting in class, and realizing I have no idea what the teacher/professor is going on about. Then it slowly dawns on me that I haven't been to this class since the beginning of the semester, and I start panicking realizing how much work I've missed.
I used to have this sort of dream also, particularly when I was in school and nearing exam time.
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Thanks for that, s_s!
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Cross-posting, sort of, from "today I'm gonna" - last night I had a dream that involved s_s and a bedroom window.
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Awesome. Sadly I am only non-monogamous in my dream land.
I had a dream night before last that I was screaming at my mother (who was January Jones in the dream) that I fuck*ng hated her and wish she would die. Lots of rage in that dream. The night before I had that horrible tooth dream where all my teeth were so loose that I could have just pulled them out. Fuck I hate that dream - whenever I have it it's so real that I always wake up and check my teeth.
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I've never (to borrow from another thread) had the loose tooth dream. I hear it's common, but I don't recall ever having had it -- even when I was a kid and my teeth were loose IRL.
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I watched that goddam honey badger vid and then went and had a dream where I got bit by a snake and fell asleep for a while.
Later in the same dream sequence: spiders!
WTF, man, my dreams are where I'm supposed to be a cowboy viking!
FTFY.
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Ash, I would sincerely enjoy watching a mini-documentary where a lispy man extols your virtues. "Ash doesn't care. He's so bad ass he rides a hoss into work," etc.
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Ash, I would sincerely enjoy watching a mini-documentary where a lispy man extols your virtues. "Ash doesn't care. He's so bad ass he rides a hoss into work," etc.
I gotta say, I'd be pretty down with that too. BTW, Remember this (http://touamb.com/index.php/topic,5984.0.html)? Well, over Artcar Weekend (http://www.flickr.com/photos/pmcd9/sets/72157626768922116/) they screened a 10 minute preview of the movie. I appeared in it 3 times.
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Ash, I would sincerely enjoy watching a mini-documentary where a lispy man extols your virtues. "Ash doesn't care. He's so bad ass he rides a hoss into work," etc.
Got my vote. I'd even fund part of it. "He's so badass he carries a snake with him when he goes hiking."
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"Ash has never paid for parking"
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Had a dream I was eating a Lake Trout sandwich. Then someone pulled out a gun, screamed something about Snitching, and shot me. I woke up screaming and curled up in the fetal position. It took a really, really long time to sort out what was a dream and what was real and open my eyes.
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I was about to say "Are Lake Trout sandwiches a St Louis thing too" and then I realized, you have been watching too much of The Wire.
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ha ha...
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...that I went into a room which is little used in my house and there was a very hungry and neglected parakeet lying on the floor of his cage (I do not own a parakeet). I ran around trying to find him some food, and came up with a little stale seed which I sprinkled into his cage. He pounced on it and ate it furiously. I opened the cage to get him out, and he flew out the door and disappeared into the rest of the house.
I think I need to up my quality of work. This felt way symbolic.
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Matthew Perry, why did you drink too much scotch? And why did I then take it on myself to drive you back to your apartment? And then when I put you in your bed, why did you transform into a beautiful woman?
And, most importantly, why didn't I sleep with you?
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Matthew Perry, why did you drink too much scotch? And why did I then take it on myself to drive you back to your apartment? And then when I put you in your bed, why did you transform into a beautiful woman?
And, most importantly, why didn't I sleep with you?
At least you realized the salient point here.
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I had a dream in which most of an episode of the Simpsons occurred, mainly centered around Grandpa and his motorcycle - and of course in the weird way that dreams happen, I was in the episode instead of watching it. It reminded me of an old thread here in which someone described dreaming an Achewood strip.
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I recently had a nightmare about having too many paint chips to choose from.
This was after having spent the evening looking at paint chips and trying to choose colours to paint the entire interior of our house. I wish that really was the only stress in my life, but sadly it was only the most immediate stress that I'd dealt with before sleeping.
I also had a very vivid dream that started with my husband and I swimming in what I thought was the ocean. The water was rough, but while bobbing around in what I thought was a wave I saw the opposite shore and realized it was actually a river instead, so I swam to the bank with my husband. We then headed into a public shower/change room area. I thought it was odd that men and women were changing together in a Muslim country, but figured I'd go with the flow. Then I realized I'd gravely misunderstood and that it wasn't a unisex change room, but a male only one that I had some how misread as unisex, and all the men were staring at me furiously, so I ran out of there with only a too-small towel, leaving my husband behind. I ran into a women's clothing store, and there were lots of women there eager to cloth and protect me from the forth coming onslaught of furious men. Unfortunately as I frantically tried to find a hijab and other suitable garb to hide my shame it became apparent that none of the garments were suitable for my "North American" figure at the same point as the furious men burst into the shop with the intent to take out vengeance on me. All the kind women tried to buy me some time by talking to the men, but eventually it was too late and the men ripped open the door to the change room and found me there naked, clinging to some pretty silk outfits that I was holding.
Really weird. I don't know where this dream came from and have never had one like it before or since.
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This is the real reason why we wear clothes.
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This is the real reason why we wear clothes.
Dispensing can.
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Yeah, I had some vague concept that they were furious with me. Their rage had no sexual overtones though. I think they wanted to rip me limb from limb, beat me or otherwise just cause me a lot of pain. Such an odd dream.
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I dreamed that I looked out the window and saw a meteor hurtling towards the earth!
And then it landed and a lot of people died!
And for some reason a lot of stuff near me caught fire!
I really am starting to wish I could fall asleep without taking melatonin. But for some reason, I have had terrible insomnia for a week, and though melatonin helps with that, it can cause very vivid dreams. Being prone to nightmares anyway, this is the third time this week I've dreamed about some kind of apocalyptic scenario.
At least this one didn't involve being separated from my kids while slowly dying of radiation poisoning. That one was...very rough.
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Holy shit, have any of you ever experienced sleep paralysis?
So I was at this lake over the weekend, and every day I had a shit ton to drink. The second night I wanted to listen to a couple songs that were stuck in my head and didn't have my headphones, so I sat in my car for a few minutes, got tired, turned the car off and passed out for a few hours. Right around 3 AM I got up and went into my friend's camper and went to sleep again. At least twice I remember waking up feeling entirely paralyzed for about a minute, and then I could move. I also felt something or someone next to me, which at first freaked me the fuck out and then I just wondered if maybe it was their dog or one of the people there, and then realized I was alone (which is a different sad story). I felt fine as soon as I got up and going, but I don't know if I've ever felt more terrified when my life wasn't actually in danger.
So when I got home I was googling stuff like "wake up feeling paralyzed" or "paralyzed in dreams" and I guess it's a thing.
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Fortunately never happened to me but I read a whole book about it once. Feeling like someone else is there is a typical feature of the experience if I remember correctly. The book was mostly about all the folklore that had arisen to explain the phenomenon. I don't remember if there was any explanation of why it used to be common enough that there was folklore and now most people seem to have never experienced or heard of it.
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Used to get that fairly often as a teen. I found it really unpleasant.
Of course, I had a dream the other night complete with domestic abuse, stalking, murder, rape, terrorism, etc, so it's all relative.
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I read it's mostly experienced by those with narcolepsy, which I don't have, but may also be caused by, among other things, excessive alcohol use (check, at least this past weekend), poor sleeping habits (check) and lying in the supine position, which I'm pretty sure I did that night.
I don't know if they're related at all, but the one time I experienced something like a lucid dream I took a similar alcohol/drug cocktail. That sounds worse than it was.
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I don't remember if there was any explanation of why it used to be common enough that there was folklore and now most people seem to have never experienced or heard of it.
I've been thinking about this. Now, I'm totally just pulling this out of my ass, but I imagine that in the olden days (see?) there was much more mystery surrounding sleep. People didn't really understand what sleep is and what happens in those unconscious hours. Something like this would have really freaked a dude out, and he would have painted something or written a poem or something like that. Today, someone who knows a bit about sleep and the mind or whatever would just google it and post about it on a fake message board so it's just a drop in the bucket, and there's not much there to inspire art or writing.
Also, apparently the presence you mentioned was often described as demonic, but after a few moments of terror I just thought it was a dog or drunken friend. Again, it's not gonna inspire much like it used to.
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Today, someone who knows a bit about sleep and the mind or whatever would just google it and post about it on a fake message board so it's just a drop in the bucket, and there's not much there to inspire art or writing.
Also, apparently the presence you mentioned was often described as demonic, but after a few moments of terror I just thought it was a dog or drunken friend. Again, it's not gonna inspire much like it used to.
Oh, that is the saddest thing.
I had a dream where I was lost and needed to make a phone call and I tried several different phones and couldn't get any of them to work - I mean, I just couldn't figure out how to punch the numbers in to make the call. The buttons were in the wrong order, or I just kept messing it up, or whatever. I've had dreams like this about technology on occasion all my life, but now they kind of freak me out since a friend told me that her mom is starting to go senile and not being able to use the phone is one of her problems. She knows she should know how but just can't do it. I never knew before that this type of dream was basically a premonition of the future.
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wow, OK, now I have had TWO wake-up-screaming dreams where I felt like I was still in the nightmare after I woke up. I'm sure there is some common thread between these two recent occurrences, but I have no idea what it is.
I was in a record store and I flirted with an attractive woman. Suddenly I realized she didn't have a chin... she had this white plastic cone over her face from the nose down. It looked like the white material on an iPod... it was plastic, but heavy plastic. She was extremely excited that I had found her attractive, and demanded that we get married. I couldn't even look at her, and I could feel the sensation of kissing her horrible plastic face. I started backing away and everyone called me a monster. She said, oh, it isn't that bad, let me show you what my face looks like underneath this thing. I was having these horrible images of sleeping in bed next to a no-face woman, and her rubbing her plastic cone on me. Begging her not to take it off, I was trying to escape her, but she had me cornered. She took it off and I heard everyone retching and gagging, and then I turned to see, and then I woke up.
What the FUCK.
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That's fucked up right there.
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...where I was at some fancy function with a higher-education crowd (grad school reception?) and it was really crowded. We were getting ready to eat at essentially cafeteria tables (long tables with benches on each side) but with super high-end cutlery and plates and centerpieces and such. A woman who looked like Brittany from Glee came in a bit late and looked around for a place to sit, but we were all packed like sardines onto the benches. She recognized me (clearly had some previous classes together or the like) and sat cross-legged (tailor style) on the table in front of me and turned her attention to the keynote speaker after greeting me. She was wearing a black cocktail dress with no underwear, and the occasion demanded that I act like nothing unusual was happening. She wasn't doing this to entice me or anything - it was just the most convenient place for her to sit. Then we were were served and had dinner together with me trying to keep my eyes on her face instead of her (neatly trimmed) crotch. It almost ended in disaster when a grape escaped my fork and rolled into her lap, but the grape stopped short of touching her, so none-the-wiser.
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I love this dream. Why couldn't I have had THAT dream.
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I love this dream. Why couldn't I have had THAT dream.
You aren't living life right, so you don't deserve it.
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I love this dream. Why couldn't I have had THAT dream.
It was pretty rad, except for the vague aura of social awkwardness - it was like having a conversation with someone who had something stuck in their teeth, or whose name you had forgotten.
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Why the hell were you eating grapes with a fork?
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Why the hell were you eating grapes with a fork?
What do you eat them with? Your fingers? Disgusting.
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It was a fancy dinner! Part of the salad, I think!
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especially when conflated with heather morris's nonchalant cooter expo
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I had a really awesome cool dream last night, but I've now mostly forgotten it.
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using the word cooter in that way makes referring to the character from "dukes of hazzard" awfully strange...
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I had some weird dream early this morning about hangiung out with an ex girlfriend in a dystopian future, something about she was getting arrested or sent to a camp (which maybe she'd just left/escaped from?) and we were hiding around my parents old house and possibly in a car made of crystal. There was this weird undertone to why she had to go back to the camp, kind of a 'we're not angry, we just want to help you' vibe that made it all the creepier.
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Trapped in a closet with Vanna White.
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Trapped in a closet with Vanna White.
S_V_N M_NUT_S _N H_AV_N
I'd like to solve the puzzle, Pat!
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Went to bed way too early and I had a dream that I was at a house near the funeral for Ahmed Karzai and saw a bomb go off. A lot my family was there too and I was really worried. I wake up and BBC is on. Also, I was talking to my mom about an upcoming family reunion earlier tonight. It's not often that my dreams have a straightforward explanation.
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I was leaking out of a hole in the side of my stomach.
I wasn't leaking blood, though, just air and water.
I was shrinking away as I lost air and water just like a goddamned kiddie pool.
And when I finally totally deflated, I woke up screaming.
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I was giving myself a pedicure, and for some reason I thought it would be best if I cut off the four smaller toes on each foot and let them grow back fresh. There was no blood, I just snipped them down to stumps with a pair of scissors and painted the remaining big toenails blue. Then I realized that I was in the middle of the mall, and I had only brought high-heeled shoes. I wasn't sure I'd be able to walk in heels without my toes, and I wondered how long they'd take to grow back. Then I realized that body parts don't usually grow back like that, and I wondered if I should gather up the discarded toes and try and get to a hospital. I was casually looking under my chair for a missing pinky toe when I woke up.
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Pinky's always the hardest to find, getting lodged down chair cushions and so on.
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Pinky's always the hardest to find, getting lodged down chair cushions and so on.
At least he's not continually fuck*ng off to market.
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I was working on two aquariums full of really awesome tropical giraffe - puffers, eels, etc.. I was worried that some of the loaches would suffer because I had set the aquariums up to be brackish, and loaches don't like that. I had also over crowded the tank with giraffe, which isn't cool. Then I realized the aquariums were in a pet shop. I started wandering around and there was this really cool, small pen with a adorable animal in it. I was perfectly round like a basket ball (same size too), basically predominantly a head, with nubbie leg and ears sticking out, and huge super cute eyes and a nose. It was gray, sort of fleshy, had long eyelashes, and liked to be kept moist. It was labeled as a mini-baby-hippo pet, and there was a sign indicating they had a two week trail with the pet, so I figured why not? For whatever reason, bringing home the baby mini-hippo thing made my dog have diarrhea in his crate, but it was all worth it because I loved my baby hippo pet and knew the two week trail period was moot.
Dreams that take place in pet stores, and/or involving aquariums I haven't set up properly have been recurring for years now for me. This one though... I think this one was actually about my mind processing my readiness to have a baby despite of all the shit and risks involved.
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While we were at the beach on Friday night, I dreamed that I discovered that Pedro had been married before. I guess in Dream Land, we hadn't met until college, and prior to that he'd been married right out of high school. He and his first wife had been married about a year, they lost a baby and quickly divorced after that. I found out about his prior marriage because of some legal ramifications of the fact that she'd just died after a short battle with cancer and left him some things of sentimental value. I was extremely hurt that he had gone to great lengths to hide his previous marriage and the loss of a child from me for so many years, but more than feeling betrayed, I was horrified that he thought I would judge him or lose respect for him because he'd made a bad decision to get married when he was 18.
Then I woke up and went back to sleep, and in the second dream, we were swimming with our daughter and a shark appeared. Pedro tried to distract it from the girl and I, and it attacked him instead. It closed its jaws around his right forearm and I was holding my daughter helplessly while he screamed in agony and fear. Blood was seeping across the surface of the water and I was screaming too, knowing that I couldn't save him and that even if he survived it was already too late to save his hand.
Both dreams featured a sense of being unable to reach Pedro when he needed me most; in both, he was hurt, and there was nothing I could do.
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Why is everyone dreaming about giraffe?
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....in which i was with a group of people and we were running away from a movie-type monster that was like a combination of such as Predator and Alien, only it had a really long tentacle that it sent out to detect us when we were hiding. it took place in chambersburg(PA) and i specifically remember running around alleys downtown. the last place i remember finding to hide was this really elaborate and amazing tree house built near a waterfall on the conococheague creek(there is none such geological feature at that spot IRL).
i wasnt the leader, but i was always at the front of the pack and encouraging the people behind me. i was afraid enough to run, but i dont remember having that hollow feargut or anything.
i generally dont remember my dreams very well. i had one other dream some time ago that involved me being part of a group of people in chambersburg, and we were running around town.
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I'd like to see a tentacled monster destroy Chambersburg. (Provided the people there I actually like got out first.)
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...that I was in bed with another man. Just as things were heating up, Pedro (who was supposed to be out of town) walked in with some clean laundry to put away. "Oh," he said, "So this is what you do when I'm not here."
I said, "What, now I can't even sleep with someone else while I'm dreaming? It's my subconscious, I can't help it."
He said, "OK, whatever. You just do what you want to do."
I said, "Seriously, what do you want me to do here?"
He said, "Nothing, it's fine."
I said, "Well, could you leave please? I can't really do this with you in here."
He finally left, but it was too late. My alarm went off before I could get back to business.
Dammit. Now I don't know whether to tell Pedro about the dream or not. I'm not afraid he'll be upset, but I am a little worried he'll ask who the guy was, and since it's a real person we both know, that would be embarrassing.
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...that I was in bed with another man. Just as things were heating up, Pedro (who was supposed to be out of town) walked in with some clean laundry to put away. "Oh," he said, "So this is what you do when I'm not here."
I said, "What, now I can't even sleep with someone else while I'm dreaming? It's my subconscious, I can't help it."
He said, "OK, whatever. You just do what you want to do."
I said, "Seriously, what do you want me to do here?"
He said, "Nothing, it's fine."
I said, "Well, could you leave please? I can't really do this with you in here."
I totally picture this as a Woody Allen type exchange. Annie Hall and Alvy Singer.
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I totally picture this as a Woody Allen type exchange. Annie Hall and Alvy Singer.
Completely.
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Dammit. Now I don't know whether to tell Pedro about the dream or not. I'm not afraid he'll be upset, but I am a little worried he'll ask who the guy was, and since it's a real person we both know, that would be embarrassing.
I like how people who are so different can come together and forge a community on the internet.
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I like how people who are so different can come together and forge a community on the internet.
Not 100% sure I follow you. Do you mean to say that this is completely the opposite thing of how you and your spouse would react to the same situation, and it's funny that in spite of that we can still be friends?
'Cause, yeah. I realize how ludicrous this must seem to you. But if you knew who the guy was, it might make more sense.
Maybe?
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Yeah, I was being a little flippant - but really, I always think "yeah, me and my internet friends are sooo alike" and really, we are just as different as any other group of folks. And really, it is very cool that we can all get along mostly and enjoy each other so much (partly this sticks out because the people I work with are so different, and I hate most of them).
Mainly it was just that my wife and I love to have dreams like this so we can immediately call the other one up and say "check this shit out - isn't that hot?" It definitely doesn't seem ludicrous, just different.
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My anxiety about sharing this particular dream ties into my anxiety about some other issues, which are being discussed elsewhere. I'm pretty sure.
Either that, or I'm secretly hot for [redacted], and I just never knew it 'til now.
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Don't think it's proximity infatuation, since our relationship is nothing but platonic IRL and I haven't even seen him in almost a year. But on reflection, I do think he represents something to me that I am both attracted to and anxious about, which is pretty well played out in the dream, so I'ma go with that.
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i read somewhere that sex in dreams has more to do with emotional connections in actual reality.
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Not anymore you dirty girl.
Thank goodness he doesn't live nearby. I would not be able to look him in the eye right now, or for the next few weeks at least.
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Thank goodness he doesn't live nearby. I would not be able to look him in the eye right now, or for the next few weeks at least.
That can be hot.
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Thank goodness he doesn't live nearby. I would not be able to look him in the eye right now, or for the next few weeks at least.
Alternatively: wait - you're not talking about me at all!
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Alternatively: wait - you're not talking about me at all!
How do you know?
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I dreamed I was at a Cajun restaurant with a deli counter and wanted to order a sandwich but couldn't because I wasn't sure how to pronounce "muffaletta." Which, now that I am awake, does not seem like a word with a lot of possible alternative pronunciations.
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our relationship is nothing but platonic IRL and I haven't even seen him in almost a year.
As much as I want to read this differently, I think it contraindicates me. Unless it's a smokescreen.
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I dreamed I was at a Cajun restaurant with a deli counter and wanted to order a sandwich but couldn't because I wasn't sure how to pronounce "muffaletta." Which, now that I am awake, does not seem like a word with a lot of possible alternative pronunciations.
Two possibilities come to mind, and one of them is pretty funny.
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As much as I want to read this differently, I think it contraindicates me. Unless it's a smokescreen.
Oh, yeah. I forgot I'd written that part. Good job, Holmes -- it's not you. Sorry.
I kind of wish it had been, that would be funnier. I mean, how hilarious is it to have a sex dream about someone you haven't actually met?
I may as well confess that a few years back I dreamed that I was making out with Ash's (previous) avatar. Pointy hair and all. That was pretty freaky.
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Holy shit that is hawt.
Especially if you imagine my avatar being involved, instead of my actual self. That makes it cute, and not creeptastic, right?
Right?
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Now I'm imagining both current avatars making out. I can work with that. My avatar is looking on disapprovingly.
And yes, I'm sorry it's not me, of course.
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I figured it was Dan.
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Or Judy.
She likes the young men (they all like the young men).
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You're trying to kill me, that's what it is.
I'm not going to 'fess up, but that doesn't necessarily mean it's one of y'all. There are enough of you who are with me on Facebook that it might be someone you would recognize as a frequent commenter on my statii. That would make me extremely paranoid about interacting with him in "internet public," so I'm keeping my mouth clamped firmly shut.
Sorry to disappoint.
Edit: I do like the young men, but they tend to occupy more of my conscious mind. I've no qualms about that.
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There are enough of you who are with me on Facebook that it might be someone you would recognize as a frequent commenter on my statii.
Whoo! Another clue!
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Edit: I do like the young men, but they tend to occupy more of my conscious mind. I've no qualms about that.
Well, that's it. I've banished the avatar thing and I'm just going to imagine you wrestling with Judy and inev. I'm equal opportunity that way.
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oh shit it's the priest
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oh shit it's the priest
OMG
NO
Well, that's it. I've banished the avatar thing and I'm just going to imagine you wrestling with Judy and inev. I'm equal opportunity that way.
All is as it should be.
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Yesterday, in my waking life, I stopped for lunch at a really good burger stand in my neighborhood. It was about 2:30 in the afternoon so there was only myself and two ladies together in the dining room. One of the two ladies was morbidly obese. I sat toward her facing her back. I spent my entire lunch hating these two ladies. They were loud, crass, stupid and mean. I sat there boiling with hatred for these two, just staring into the back of this huge woman hoping to incinerate her and her friend with my mind .
Last night I had a dream where I was part of a group of unknown purpose. There were about maybe 20 of us gathered together in a locker room. The morbidly obese lady from lunch was a part of the group. We were made to put on these special jumpsuits. The jumpsuits had had weird zippers that ran up each side of the back over the shoulder blades. The obese lady couldn't reach the zippers so I helped her. Then she gave me head.
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...Then she gave me head.
...must've been hungry.
(that's pretty crass of me, huh?)
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... that I was in Toronto for the rehearsal of my (non existant) next play, and none of my clothes fit, making me late. Then my vehicle was having mechanical problems, so I had to hurry and try to take the subway, but I didn't know where I was going on the subway, and everyone was avoiding my requests for assistance, clearly thinking I was begging for change. I eventually shouted at a guy using his iPhone "look, I don't want your money - I just need you to look up a phone number for me so I can figure out where I need to go!" The guy reluctantly looked up the number and I was able to use my own old, non-smart phone to call someone at the theatre to come rescue me. The person who turned up was one of my mentors from my current job, only she doesn't speak English well or know her way arround, but she assured me she knew where we needed to go. Looking at a subway map, it was clear we needed to take the green line, and I wondered why I had missed that - it seemed so obvious.
So much frantic energy and frustration in that dream. I woke up feeling exhausted, and today's gonna be a long one.
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...that I found a lost pug and brought it home with me to care for until we could find its owners. It was an all-black pug, which I recognized as unusual, but even stranger still, it had fawn-colored feet. Then I remembered that (in my dream) Wombat had posted pictures of her newest pugquisition, a black pug with fawn feet, and I thought it must be hers, that somehow it traveled all the way here and I was fortuitous enough to discover it. But alas, it wasn't Wombat's pug -- hers was safe and sound at home -- it belonged to a law firm, and they were using it as a mascot.
I didn't want to give it back to them, because they didn't seem like they were being nice to it. At the very least, it wasn't a home and family, like dogs need. It lived at the office and, while it was well-fed and -groomed, it still seemed lonely. But they were lawyers, after all, and I was afraid they'd take me to court if I didn't return their dog. I was still deciding what to do, and realizing that even though I didn't want to give it to them, I didn't actually want to become a dog owner, when I woke up.
So, thanks for that bizarre little foray into my subconscious, Wombles.
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That's really funny. You can't blame me for the law firm, though.
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I had another of those horrible dreams where I was still working for the university. I guess I thought I was on leave and they didn't, so they'd scheduled me to teach a class and I'd missed the first day. I was completely mortified. I felt so terrible that when I woke up I was afraid to go back to sleep in case I had the same dream again.
I don't know of anything that could have prompted this - I certainly have career worries at the moment but they're more about not having stuff to do, not about having stuff and not doing it. All I can figure is that it's almost September and my brain knows it.
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"academia flashbacks"
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I had a really weird dream the other night. I went to a high school reunion. It wasn't the 10 year that I skipped a few years ago or a 15 or 20 year, but kind of like an impromptu gathering. It's probably because I was visiting my parents up in the Seattle area and visited with a classmate from high school. Anyway, a girl that I haven't seen since we were 15/16 and I haven't thought of since I was probably 17/18 was there, and we started to hook up. I was aware that she was in a serious relationship and that the guy was there. She told me, in a very bizarre and kinda funny way that I can't exactly remember, that she didn't have too many STDs. I woke up with an erection like I haven't had since that age when things were starting to get hot and heavy and the guy saw us and was heading our way. Weird thing was, I couldn't even remember her name. So of course I dig up my yearbooks and find her, and then immediately go to facebook and have no luck there. Oh well.
But it's kinda been driving me nuts ever since.
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you get a can for dream boners.
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Just today I got an email promoting this...
(http://davemasonmusic.com/site/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/Hippiefest2011Ad_550wd.png)
Sounds pretty good actually except Mark Farner kinda scares me. He's morphed into a right wing political guy ala Ted Nugent. And he sports an epic mullet. Also, I don't think of any of those groups as hippie bands except for Dave Mason, maybe, in a vague sort of way.
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I had a really cool, really weird, really disturbing dream last night. I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep for 30 minutes. But then I did sleep again for several more hours so I've forgotten everything about the dream except for the fact that I had it.
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When I logged onto my register, I got a notification that I had Leveled Up. A bunch of new buttons showed up that made things easier to do, and everything worked way better. I was really confused, and wondered why no one had told me this would happen.
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When I logged onto my register, I got a notification that I had Leveled Up. A bunch of new buttons showed up that made things easier to do, and everything worked way better. I was really confused, and wondered why no one had told me this would happen.
dreaming about work is a pain in the groin(mainly if its manual labor or service industry).
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I have been having all sorts of fucked up dreams lately. Can't remember much of anything, but I wake up feeling... fucked up.
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I dreamed about Wombat last night. We were on some kind of old-timey ocean liner, in a small cabin. There were snuggles.
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I dreamed about having undercooked duck at a restaurant Saturday night, it was rawish and fanned out on the plate. I was overwhelmed by it's rawness and the prospect of eating raw duck.
In waking life I ended up going to a restaurant with a small prix-fix menu, where duck was one of the few palatable options. I couldn't get the image from my dream of being served the raw duck out of my mind so I didn't order it, though the image was clear as day.
-
I dreamed Apple announced awesome new iPods that could only connect to your computer with their fancy new Light Peak connectors (of course IRL Apple renamed the perfectly serviceable Light Peak to something else that I can't recall right now. Thunder-something?)
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Another dream where I turned down a threesome because of my girlfriend. This time, with two girls who I do not actually find attractive.
Then, immediately before waking, I was watching a documentary about the passion of Christ narrated by a British guy. I woke up right after "As experienced and notorious torturers, it seems impossible that the Romans would have ignored the tenderest spots on the human male-- the cock, balls, and butthole."
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Ah, thanks for the memories. Ray and Neph's rhyme battle seques directly into the Oregon Trail arc then he starts calling other cartoon characters. Those were productive times for Onstad.
-
Probably in one of those gospels that hit the cutting room floor at Nicaea.
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"By decree of the Council, the Gospel of Bozak is purged and declared Heretical."
And so the gift shop of the Shrine of the Flayed Bozak in Scrotiopolis finally laid off its last employee.
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Another post-apocalyptic dream, this time winding up with coming upon some sort of small, loosely-aggregated community which was augmenting their food supplies with human flesh (as would most likely happen, I suppose). I was revolted, spouse tucked right in. I guess this shows that I think she is practical?
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the other day i had a dream that i was at a big-assed party. my multimedia instructor and andrew mcmahon(he sings in the bands something corporate and jacks mannequin) were the only people i specifically remember. at one point during the party i went away from the crowd for a few minutes. when i came back, everyone was gone. apparently they went to long island and did something hella fun because i was pissed when they got back. andrew mcmahon was being all dismissive of my hurt feelings. all, "you werent here and we had to leave. im sorry you missed your chance, bro."
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Fuck THAT guy.
-
I had a wife who was a crazy lady so I hid in an attic man cave and drank beers with Bill Murray. She tried to break into the attic and kill me so I threw Bill Murray out a window and jumped out.
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Go Bill Murray! Save yourself!
-
Times been tough since you last stopped by, A-Cap?
-
At least you had Bill Murray to cushion your fall. Is this your way of announcing that you are returning to us?
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I had a dream where I was showing off my limited St Louis Architecture vocabulary, and this local preservationist blogger popped up. He called me a big show-off and said "let me guess, that's the only architectural term you know, so you have to point it out every time you see it?"
Harsh, dude. Harsh. But true.
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I had a dream where I was showing off my limited St Louis Architecture vocabulary, and this local preservationist blogger popped up. He called me a big show-off and said "let me guess, that's the only architectural term you know, so you have to point it out every time you see it?"
Harsh, dude. Harsh. But true.
Inev is like, DOME…DOME…DOME…
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I had a dream where I was showing off my limited St Louis Architecture vocabulary, and this local preservationist blogger popped up. He called me a big show-off and said "let me guess, that's the only architectural term you know, so you have to point it out every time you see it?"
Harsh, dude. Harsh. But true.
You seem to be surrounded by total dicks.
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>look
You seem to be surrounded by total dicks.
>exit south
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>look
You find a tiny can of Dr. Pepper.
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it is funny, because I have never met him. But we have enough of a twitter relationship (?) that maybe he is creeped out that I told him about that dream. SORRY BRO.
Especially since there have been a lot of "I saw @preservationresearchoffice at Riley's, but didn't want to bug him. Hi!" type things.
...I am a Historic Preservation Blog fanboy.
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Asherdan, you are not allowed in my dreams anymore.
i was in an old fashioned theater talking to one of the other dads of the group. Asherdan was in the center aisle, about 20 rows back, just beaming like the proudest father in the whole world. Apparently, one of his kids played a big part of putting on the show that had just taken place. i was about to go shake his hand and say hi, but i woke up too soon.
this 3rd shift job is making my dreams really outlandish.
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I had a dream that I was hanging out with Inev's mother, sister, and girlfriend. They kept saying things about him that I knew were not true. I can't remember any specifics, but they were along the lines of, "Oh, he loves Band X," and I would remember a post he made here about how he is so tired of that band. I didn't say anything, though, because I did not want inev's closest female relatives to feel like a strange internet person knew their son/brother/boyfriend better than they did.
When I woke up and remembered this, it made me think about how sometimes we are more honest about ourselves here than IRL, so in that sense we get to know each other better than we would if we were face to face. But then I thought, but I don't know what inev sounds like when he laughs, or how to recognize that look he gets when he has a really fantastic idea, or whether he has any peculiar mannerisms that his friends secretly discuss behind his back, so maybe I don't really know any of you at all.
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Clearly more stalking is required
-
...that my desktop computer (I don't currently own one) was possessed by a demon that was residing in the RAM. My solution was to unplug the computer, since once you deprive RAM of a charge, the information is gone. It didn't work because the demon somehow migrated to the hard disk or something.
It sounds silly, but I actually woke up, frightened. Although I don't go in for any of that stuff anymore, my ultra-religious upbringing probably had quite a bit to do with it. Pretty hard to overcome the early-life programming, methinks.
Of course my nightmare had to be nerdy as all get-out, too.
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my dream was that I was lost in south-west STL (an area where I never go), and found the White-Gold Tower (http://static.desktopnexus.com/thumbnails/128068-bigthumbnail.jpg). None of my friends were as impressed by this as I was, and it made me mad.
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Right before bed: saw my roommate's new t-shirt with the St Louis flag on it. Thought to myself "OK, the St Louis paraphernalia in this apartment is getting out of control."
My dream: I was walking around my parents' neighborhood, and walked past Wombat's house. I recognized her car because it had STL Flag logos all over it. As I walked past, I realized that she was actually IN the car with the technical staff. I looked down and realized I was wearing a t-shirt with the flag on it, and matching running shorts. I ran around the block so that I would be out of breath and could say I had been working out. This was going to be my excuse for why I was running past her house and checking out her car. Then I went up and said, Hey, Wombat! Immediately it was really clear that she was busy. She tried to be nice and invited me in, but I could tell it was a really inconvenient time. Then we were sitting inside and talking, while at the same time technical staff was running around trying to get something done, and Wombat gave him instructions. There was some sort of Italian food thing going on, also, but I don't completely remember that part.
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The Italian food is the only part of that that is plausible. And why weren't there any pugs?
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I woke from a dream and came straight here to tell it.
My husband and I were at a large party held by my work at the fairly swank local. The party was indoors, but the ceiling was painted into a sky-like canopy, with tree branches with artificial lights almost like starlight twinkling in them. The lighting was low, and although it was apparently my work party, I didn't recognize anyone. Husband went to get drinks, we got separated briefly, but then he flagged me down as he'd found us seats at a good table. When I joined him, he was seated to my right at a table of my coworkers (of whom IRL I do not work with or know). To the right of him was Anderson Cooper, who was accompanied by he adorable partner who I had to mention looked so much like Cooper that they could have been brothers. Both Anderson and his partner were tickled that I thought so, as they both thought the other was quite attractive. They made a light comment about their shared silver hair and differing, but lovely hair styles. I had complimented them and put them at ease. To my left was an unlikeable, grump of man, and his wife sat beside him. Due to the noise of the bustle of partiers all around us I couldn't hear his wife when she spoke, but it was clear she was a bitch with a specific dislike of me. Cooper's partner made mention that he's just arrived on a train from Queens, and I replied with some mention of a midnight train to Georgia" which he, Cooper and my husband thought was hilarious. Cooper's partner declared me the star of the table. Food arrived, and our table was covered with various platters of many hot hors d'oeurves of high quality. Cooper and his partner and my hubby and I started sharing and passing things around, but the couple to the left of me was just eating what was placed in front of them which annoyed me, as the man had an onion tart which I had really hoped to try, and was eating it all. It was clear he and his wife didn't understand that the assortment of appetizers were for sharing, and were instead treating them as entrees. I noticed there was a salmon coulibiac and had Anderson pass it to me, and cut myself a nice piece, noting how crisp and lovely the outer pastry was. Through her husband, the lady to my left then angrily demanded that she wanted the piece of coulibiac I had served myself. I explained that the piece I had cut was for myself, but pointed out that there was still some on the original serving platter that she was more than welcome to help herself to, but her husband insisted that she wanted the dish I had served myself. His hand was on my plate, but I also firmly gripped it and didn't let go. I looked down in despair, as the piece I had cut was from the end (extra pastry) and was oozing with a generous amount of cream cheese. Anderson demurely spoke up and made some quip about it being rude of the man to try take my plate, and I was relieved that the plate was again relinquished to me. I took a bite and then remembered that, like in all my dreams, I can never enjoy food no matter how good it looks, as I never taste anything in dreams. I realized I should have just given the lady my salmon instead of increasing the tension, but comforted myself that at least I could enjoy the texture of the pastry, the perfectly tender salmon and the melting cream cheese, even if it had no flavour. Then I decided I would take the opportunity to get drunk and started explaining to a waiter was was in a true Tom Collins, but this was too confusing for the wait staff, so I just asked for a Gin and Sprite instead, and then woke up.
Weird dream. I never watch Anderson Cooper, so I'm not sure why he was featured so prominently in the dream. It is a regular feature of any food based dreams that I look forward to eating something only to remember that, because I'm dreaming, I can't taste anything. Sometimes it takes a few bites for this to occur to me, and it's always so disappointing.
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JL, i did not see your dream about meeting the ladies in my life until just now. That is a weird, cool dream.
In my feverish flu haze, I dreamt that I was kidnapped by the Borg. The borg cube cafeteria has lots of weird looking, mushy foods. I ate some cereal, but I was worried that the stuff I poured on it was not milk.
Later, my old roommate bought tiny, tiny bees and released them in our apartment. I was SO MAD and could not even explain to him why this bothered me. He said it was a Christmas tradition.
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It is a regular feature of any food based dreams that I look forward to eating something only to remember that, because I'm dreaming, I can't taste anything. Sometimes it takes a few bites for this to occur to me, and it's always so disappointing.
You should try eating foods in your dreams that you don't like, because presumably they won't taste bad to you in the dream. Once you've done this enough times, see if it translates into liking the food in reality.
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...last night where I went to a dinner party - only the food consisted of dishes made from shit that could kill you. More specifically, there are parts of some edible things that are toxic like potato leaves, or puffer giraffe livers, or rhubarb leaves. The trick was, the dishes were prepared with the toxic stuff right alongside the edible stuff - the conceit was that you had to be so worldly that you knew which was which. I of course had no idea, as the food wasn't real world food and so I had no knowledge of what to eat. My date had brought some sort of salad'y dish which consisted of young leaves and old leaves from the same plant (supposedly belladonna - but in checking Wikipedia I see it isn't so) in a sweet dressing. My date was occupied in conversation with a neighbor and since I didn't want to seem like a rube or a coward, I decided to eat some of the salad. I reasoned that the new leaves wouldn't yet have developed the toxin and gathered a bunch of them onto my fork and ate them. A little while later my date suggested I offer some of the new leaves to the fellow sitting to my right. It was apparently a great joke among this crowd to offer food to one another and watch the reaction of the person to what you were offering (they all knew what was edible and what wasn't). The guy jerked back in his chair away from my fork, and much laughter erupted from the room. (Uhoh). I went back to my plate and had some of the old leaves, which seemed tasty. I turned to my date and asked what a lethal dose of belladonna would be. She thought about it for a moment then said, "About 600 milligrams" (again, not a real number). I started to experience symptoms (blurry vision, racing heart, dry mouth, hallucinations) and had an unpleasant episode of lying facedown on the table while confusion from the other dinner guests went on around me - then I woke up feeling anxious.
Ugh.
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Puffer giraffe is scary as hell.
I had a dream where I was in an old house full of antiques and old papers and shit like that and I was wandering from room to room. I ended up in an old bedroom down a long hall. As I looked around the room I began to hear children's voices elsewhere in the house, voices with clear malice in them. One began to get clearer and closer, and I tried to leave the room. As I headed to the hall, I found myself slowing down - becoming basically paralyzed. I ended up on the floor on my back, and managed to - very slowly - push myself into an adjacent room. This was followed by a long drawn-out vignette which ended with me paralyzed on the floor, staring helplessly as a ghostly little girl came into view and began to claw for my eyes. That's when I forced myself awake.
I . . . I don't like children. For some reason little girls disturb me far more than little boys do.
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...last night where I went to a dinner party - only the food consisted of dishes made from shit that could kill you.
This sounds like some weird combination of Desperate Housewives and, I dunno, The Twilight Zone? Like a metropolitan, cosmopolitan version of The Most Dangerous Game, set in a dystopian, Stepford-Wives-in-the-City kind of future.
Somebody needs to write a short story out of this.
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Somebody needs to write a short story out of this.
This is right up sMets alley. He just needs to figure out a way to work Guns and Roses into the plot.
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...that I was reading this thread, and Smells was telling us about a dream she had that would have been a great TV series. She said it popped into her head that it would be the kind of thing Felicia Day might make, so she sent her a quick email that said, "Hey, I had this idea but I'm a playwright, not a TV writer, do you want to use it?" She was saying here on the board that she thought the email might never even get read, but it was worth sending on the notion that maybe it would inspire Ms. Day in some way. Smells said, "If I add a drop of my own pigment to her bucket of paint, it might change the color a little bit."
Of course, in the dream, the base idea for the show was brilliant, and of course I can't remember what it was. I do remember being amazed that Smells' dream presented a complete story arc, with conflict, resolution, and denouement, and I was posting here about how most of my dreams only give me a setting and some bizarre, random, meaningless action. Then I woke up.
My dreams are getting very meta.
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That's interesting. I've never heard of Felicia Day before. Wikipedia tells me she had some association with Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but I never watched that show. Other than that I've never heard of any of the other stuff she's involved in.
I do think it's very interesting that some of us here appear in each other's dreams. In many ways, as we've never met, there is a lot of potential to see each other as architypes, and dreams are all about architypes. I'm flattered that I'm a creative architype to you though. That whole drop of pigment thing is pretty brilliant, and just foo-foo enough to have come from my mouth at some point.
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the only time internet people have appeared in my dreams were for sex or kissing reasons.
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The most constant reoccurring dream archetype in my life is of going back to the summer camp I worked at/attended as a child. It is always somehow ruined.
My girlfriend, who just graduated, had a dream that she went home and realized she only had children's clothes. Everyone was very disappointed in her, and she couldn't find anything to wear.
Pretty heavy handed dreams in this corner.
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the only time internet people have appeared in my dreams were for sex or kissing reasons.
As it should be.
I had a nice dream about my mom. This has been happening every couple of months, and is really a good thing for me.
Most of my recurring dreams are about trying to collect things - coins, candy bars, buds, cigarettes . . . small things. It's weird.
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Most of my recurring dreams are about trying to collect things - coins, candy bars, buds, cigarettes . . . small things. It's weird.
dream dictionary says collection dreams mean you're being picked on. that seems like the last thing you'd put up with, AFAIK.
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Huh. I did not realize that. I don't really consciously feel that way.
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I dreamed I went to an Oingo Boingo reunion concert and one of the background singers was my evil nemesis from my first job at the zoo, the one who is the reason I didn't get that job.
This seems like a not at all subtle metaphor for how frustrated I am about all the people who have success at what I badly want to do when they aren't any better at it or more deserving than I am and in some cases clearly worse. A bizarre juxtaposition of elements but as a way of making the point, almost unimaginative.
Apparently now I'm criticizing the literary quality of my dreams.
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This morning I dreamed my alarm had gone off and I was listening to the radio after hitting snooze. Then it went off for real. It was confusing and depressing.
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I dreamt I was an industrial spy, for some reason, running a secret mission of some kind.
The rendezvous point was in Old Forge NY, a tourist hamlet in the central Adirondacks best known for the Enchanted Forest theme park that I went to twice a summer as a child.
I met with my contact, Ronald MacDonald, and received a plain manilla envelope full of information. We didn't speak, there was fear of audio bugs, so to confirm that I was happy with the transaction, I popped a boil on my left arm and smeared the pus on Ronald's right cheek. In response, Ronald gave me a military salute and then descended into a miniature submarine and departed.
The lake in Old Forge could not get you very far by submarine, I'm pretty sure. I have no idea what that meant.
The same night, I dreamt we were holding a poker tournament at my parents house with all my friends and all my brother's friends and... while it was going on... my brother was blocking all the doors with logs and broken furniture in preparation to set fire to the place killing everyone. I woke up before he could explain his motivation in this regard.
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My wife had a dream where a teenager said her name was "Tramp". I don't think Otis Redding was involved.
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Wow, I don't remember that Otis reference.
I had another zombie dream. I was shepherding about ten people dressed in evening clothes (one a woman in some dress that left her topless, which was a little odd but not unwelcome) into a motorhome. I just had to go out and get my partner, who was securing the perimeter. While he did that, I sort of went back out to draw the fire of the zombies. My partner in this endeavor? Shaq, of course.
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Shaq is a good choice. He's big enough for his head to be well out of chomping range so he could last awhile.
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My husband has occasional screaming dreams that are clearly about his accident, but he wakes up in the morning remembering nothing and feeling well rested. He's always been really active in his dream life - lots of talking and such - but this is an weird turn.
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Last night I had a dream that involved Paul.
I was walking through a mall, and I was passing one of those middle-of-the-isle kiosk merchants that sells jewelry for specialized piercings. One of the displays included a photo of Paul that was being used as a backdrop to a bunch of jewelry. I paused and then said to the girl running the kiosk (cute girl with pig tails, Betty Page style bangs, lots of piercings and tattoos, super skinny) "this is weird, but I know the guy in that picture." And it turned out the lady was friends with Paul too. We both agreed that Paul is a pretty cool guy, and I said I knew Paul, but then I felt like I was lying because I've never met Paul in person but I was too embarrassed to admit that after saying I did know him. I asked how she knows Paul and she explained that she considers herself a sideshow freak and works as a human skeleton when she's not doing stuff related to body art, and that her freak work sort of intersects with the artcar world on some levels and that's how she met Paul. She said she had danced on his car at some point. We talked a bit more about art, and this prompted her to show me these fine-art style toys that were sort of figurines or action figures. One was of her, made of rigid plastic, and looked very skeletal. The toy was of her nude, but it was packaged so that the toy was posed laying belly down like a pinup from the 50's to hide the more private parts of her. The toy of her looked pretty anorexic (much more skeletal) and the packaging on it showed pictures of her when she used to be much skinnier than she is at present. I remember thinking I was glad she looked healthier now, but that it was none of my business, so I didn't mention it. Then she said she had another toy from the same series, by the same artist of Paul. The toy was of Paul, and it looked so much like Paul - they got the mustache and facial expression just right, and like the other toy, the rigid plastic Paul was posed in the packaging to be laying on his stomach, posing like a pinup in a manner that was coquettish in expression, but concealed his junk. In comparison to the skeleton girl, I was thinking about how pleasingly plump the Paul toy was and was noticing that there was some serious detail - as both his cheeks and his butt cheeks were tinted with a nice pinkish blush. I was sort of transfixed by the blush of the toy's butt cheeks, and wondering what the cost of such a toy would be and if I should buy it.
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Can you get me the number of that kiosk? I want to give those figurines away as gifts.
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Can you get me the number of that kiosk? I want to give those figurines away as gifts.
my birthday is may 12 and that would be the best dirtythirty present, ever.
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I can not explain the shiny, plastic-y perfection of blushing face and butt cheeks to you. There was a slight cartoonification of the style too which made it super cute.
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Someone get that Todd McFarlane cat on the phone. I gotta have me one of those.
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Someone get that Todd McFarlane cat on the phone. I gotta have me one of those.
my birthday is may 12 and that would be the best dirtythirty present, ever.
Can's for everyone.
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Hey Paul? Y'know how a few years back I quit dipping snuff and you mentioned a guy you knew had quit but had said you always kinda want one still?
The fucker was balls on right. Last night's major dream was me simply buying a tin and savouring the piss out of a nice fat dip of Copenhagen.
BALLS
asher-d, im glad you arent doing that foul disgusting shit anymore.
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My godmother's dad got mouth cancer from the chew and got to watch in horror as over time more and more of his mouth and lower jaw got cut off. I was young at the time, but it just seemed that every time I saw him a little more of his face was missing. Near the end he had a void where his mouth and jaw had been and he just made noises out of his throat that I couldn't understand. I was a kid and I was so scared of him once it got to a certain point. Too bad, because he was a kind person if I recall correctly.
Thumbs up for any action that prevents your face from being slowly removed.
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Hey Paul? Y'know how a few years back I quit dipping snuff and you mentioned a guy you knew had quit but had said you always kinda want one still?
Yeah, I was talking about myself. I quit nearly 30 years ago and goddammit I still get a hankerin' from time to time.
Quittin' alcohol was way easier than giving up tobacco.
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I only ever want smokes in my dreams. Of course, I want everything in my dreams.
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I still periodically dream about cigarettes.
And I still occasionally smoke, given the opportunity. Usually when drinking heavily, though less so now that you can't smoke in bars. So, about twice a year I'll have a big night out, buy a pack, get wasted, and end up having to chuck the half-dozen or so left in the pack after the get horribly stale.
I truly enjoy smoking. I don't really think that I've quit smoking. I'm just taking a break from it so that I can live long enough to take it up again while I'm waiting to run out the clock. I figure, if I make it to 70, something else is likely to get me before the cigarettes will, so I may as well enjoy the last 10 or 15 years.
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if I start talking about what I think about cigarettes, you will have to move the post to the Shit My ____ Says post. Suffice it to say they really gross me out ever since I kissed someone who had just smoked a cigarette. You think that brushing your teeth gets rid of the taste/smell, but it doesn't.
I had a dream that I was quitting my job at a local craft brewery. I tearfully told them that I had to quit because my GF is moving to Chicago. And then I told them their beer isn't actually that good.
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Yeah, but if both partners smoke, your sense of taste/smell is so deadened by the habit that it doesn't matter.
The main thing I didn't like about being a smoker was how it stained my teeth. Also, I got bronchitis every October for five years running. But mostly the teeth thing.
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if I start talking about what I think about cigarettes, you will have to move the post to the Shit My ____ Says post. Suffice it to say they really gross me out ever since I kissed someone who had just smoked a cigarette. You think that brushing your teeth gets rid of the taste/smell, but it doesn't.
Yeah, turns out nothing gets rid of the smell other than not smoking. People who smoke will act like they can do some mint/toothbrush/cologne super-combo, but that shit does not work.
I can't stand the smell on a person. Eventually the teeth get yellow, as do the fingers. And of course, every article of clothing reeks.
I used to smoke for like twenty years, but I really no longer have any desire to do so. It's kind of strange. If I end up making it to 70 and am free to do what I want, I'm going to spend my twilight years getting high as fuck.
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Back to the topic, last night I had a dream that I was at the dentist. And he was really disappointed with me - apparently I should have been addressing something that was going on way back in my throat.
Fuck that shit, bring back the zombie dreams.
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I dreamed that I went to the grocery store and saw that they had a display with a bunch of crappy DVDs for $4.99. They only had two movies, but there were about 100 copies of each of them. Standing in front of the display was Alec Baldwin. I walked up and said, "I know who you are." He looked pleased and offered me a DVD. I said, "Will you autograph it for me?" He was delighted to do so, and pulled out a Sharpie.
Just as he was signing the DVD case, Robert De Niro came up to him and said, "Hey, buddy. On the autograph circuit, eh?"
Baldwin said, "Yeah, watchagonnado." Both men laughed.
Then De Niro said, "Are you even in this movie?" I looked at the cover. It was a low-budget action flick I hadn't even heard of. I couldn't find Alec Baldwin anywhere on it.
Baldwin said, "Sure! Sure I am." Then he turned to me. "Have you seen this movie?"
I said, "I don't see many movies, actually. But I know who both of you guys are. You're Robert De Niro, and you're Alec Baldwin." Baldwin suddenly looked crestfallen.
Just then, my BFF, who is a huge movie buff, walked up behind me and said, "Hey! Aren't you Stephen Baldwin?" I looked down at my DVD case, and sure enough, that's what the signature said.
Totally. Awkward.
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Fuck that is awesome.
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I had a dream that I was quitting my job at a local craft brewery. I tearfully told them that I had to quit because my GF is moving to Chicago. And then I told them their beer isn't actually that good.
Do you actually work at a local brewery or was that also part of your dream?
The main thing I didn't like about being a smoker was how it stained my teeth. Also, I got bronchitis every October for five years running. But mostly the teeth thing.
So I've never actually been a smoker in the sense that I've ever actually had to quit. I've gone through periods where I'll smoke for a month or two and then either get tired of it or decide it's a bad idea because I make pretty poor health decisions anyway. It's not rewarding enough to me to justify the risks, even though I don't even smoke that much during those periods. Well, on New Year's Eve, my buddy busted out a pack of cigarettes and fuck, I had forgotten how good it feels to smoke when you drink. So I smoked throughout most of January and a bit of February till I got this bad cough. That went away, so I started to smoke again, and the cough came back. Haven't had one since.
Fuck that is awesome.
That is a rad dream. I had a sex dream last night and I've been trying to think of who the lady was all day. I thought it might be Rhonda Pearlman (I've been watching the Wire a lot recently) but I never had much of a thing for her. Huh. Oh well.
I wish I could remember my dreams better. I've had some awesome ones in the last year that just kind of balance on the edge of my memory. I wake up feeling really good or really strange, but I can't quite recall most of the details.
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That is a rad dream. I had a sex dream last night and I've been trying to think of who the lady was all day. I thought it might be Rhonda Pearlman (I've been watching the Wire a lot recently) but I never had much of a thing for her. Huh. Oh well.
can'd. something about her just triggers the response; i'm sure few of us are innocent of this experience.
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That is a rad dream. I had a sex dream last night and I've been trying to think of who the lady was all day. I thought it might be Rhonda Pearlman (I've been watching the Wire a lot recently) but I never had much of a thing for her. Huh. Oh well.
It wasn't Rhea Perlman?
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It wasn't Rhea Perlman?
God, I hope not.
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can'd. something about her just triggers the response; i'm sure few of us are innocent of this experience.
Yeah, have to admit she's been on my mind all day.
It wasn't Rhea Perlman?
No, that dream is pretty much a regular thing.
God, I hope not.
Don't judge.
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It wasn't Rhea Perlman?
Yeah, that's how I read this at first. Holy smokes.
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(in real life) I woke up having to go to the bathroom, only to realize my roommate was in there. I decided to fall back asleep. Then I had the following dream:
Since he's in the bathroom, I'd better pee somewhere else. What about this hamper of clean clothes? They're clean, and clothes will absorb pee. So I peed in the hamper. I thought it was strange that it was taking a really long time. While still peeing, I realized that clean clothes absorb pee, but then they become dirty clothes. I quickly picked up the hamper and walked to the basement to re-wash them. My final thought was "oh god, I hope he's shitting, because if he finishes soon and comes out and sees me with a hamper full of pee-clothes at 4 AM I will never live this down."
There was another weird fragment where my roommate questioned why I had bought a ton of green army men, and I screamed at him that I didn't give a shit what he thought about my fuck*ng army men.
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You skipped the part where you jerk awake and pat tentatively around to see if you actually wet the bed.
I occasionally have dreams where I'm trying to find a restroom - frequently at a school or a gym - but everytime I find one the bowl is either empty of water or overflowing with shit. As in, stacked above the rim. No idea what that's about.
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I had a nightmare the other night. I very rarely remember my dreams, but this one made an impression.
Malcolm McDowell was at my door in a long black coat, for reasons unknown. A shot rang out from the street, and missed both of us, but hit the brick wall closeby. I grabbed Malcolm and yanked him inside, and caught a glimpse of the shooter: a younger man, early thirties at the latest, almost white-haired blond, with a strange angular haircut and a long white coat.
I locked the door, and he sat on my couch, my wife in a different chair obviously shocked at this development and my dogs oddly quiet. "Was that guy shooting at you?" I asked; his reply, cool and smarmy, grinning: "Well, yes, he's been after me for some time." I called the cops, and as I was on the phone waiting for an answer, a shadow passed over the frosted window in my door, and I heard the distinctive ripping sound of packing tape. I don't have bars on my windows or any way to prevent someone who really wants to get in from doing just that - so I ran to the back door and just as the other end of the line picked up, I awoke in a complete panic.
And then I patted tentatively around to make sure that it was just sweat I felt.
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I was in Burbank, working for the medical courier job and they were giving me addresses I didn't know and my maps kept shifting because it was a dream and maps do that for me in dreams.
Eventually, it was so awful, I kept trying to crash my car so that I could be dead and be done with it. After a while, it worked and I woke up.
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I dreamt I was helping a blind former co-worker (in reality, not blind) around a mall. It went on and on and on.
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I love exploring buildings in dreams. They just go on forever. Sometimes I dream that I find a hidden passageway or moving wall in my house and realize I have tons and tons of extra rooms I never knew about before.
They're usually full of really old stuff like you might find in your grandmother's attic, and I spend the rest of the dream looking through the items wondering about the history of it, who it belonged to and why it was saved. Especially the furniture -- there are always beautiful four-poster beds and elaborate Victorian writing desks stuffed with love letters and long lost poems by Emily Dickinson.
My subconscious is not subtle.
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Oh, I love those "finding an extra room/hallway to an extra wing of the house/etc" dreams. I haven't had one in a while, but I once had a really vivid one that the house I was living in actually sat atop a lavish marble palace with an enormous swimming pool surrounded by statues, everything marble and endless, and all of it mine.
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The earliest dream I can remember was finding a room off of our laundry room in the house I lived in as a small child. I probably had the dream when I was six or so. I remember having to squeeze past the water heater and there was a room back there that went on for what seemed like miles, eventually becoming something like subway tunnels (an architectural feature I cannot remember having seen at that age).
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Oh, I love those "finding an extra room/hallway to an extra wing of the house/etc" dreams. I haven't had one in a while, but I once had a really vivid one that the house I was living in actually sat atop a lavish marble palace with an enormous swimming pool surrounded by statues, everything marble and endless, and all of it mine.
I once found a bowling alley, like in the Biltmore (http://theblueridgehighlander.com/Biltmore_Estate/a_legacy_in_stone-3.php) (scroll 3/4 of the way down the page).
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That bowling alley is pretty keen, it reminds me of the final scene of There Will Be Blood. I was gonna post a YouTube clip, but for anyone who hasn't seen the movie, it's too much of a spoiler, so I will just say, go see that movie if you haven't already.
Back in my theatre days, I would sometimes have dreams where I would discover a theatre attached to where I lived, or a space large enough to be converted into a theatre. It was a kin to striking gold. In my dreams I was set.
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That bowling alley is pretty keen, it reminds me of the final scene of There Will Be Blood.
Somewhat rough chuckles, but a fantastic movie in my opinion.
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the pollen count took my by surprise this weekend, and i had to nap to make up for lost night zees. i don't remember anything but the end of the dream, where a super hot brunette with glasses and a gray sweater dress was all up on me, tickling my swimsuit area and bumping me with her pretty fantastic chest. i looked at her, said "lady, i'm married, cut it out" and woke up.
i don't even know.
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the pollen count took my by surprise this weekend, and i had to nap to make up for lost night zees. i don't remember anything but the end of the dream, where a super hot brunette with glasses and a gray sweater dress was all up on me, tickling my swimsuit area and bumping me with her pretty fantastic chest. i looked at her, said "lady, i'm married, cut it out" and woke up.
i don't even know.
I'm glad you are feeling better.
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Last night I had a sex dream. Well it really wasn't a sex dream, but there was this woman that I know and I watched her undress. She was trying on costumes and being uninhibited in a way that she's never been in front of me ever in real life.
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That sounds pretty sweet. I mean, if you find her appealing. It's better than zombies, anyway.
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That sounds pretty sweet. I mean, if you find her appealing. It's better than zombies, anyway.
Yes, very much so.
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Ash made a thread where he just put links to lots of job listings. Each one was accompanied by his thoughts on the job, including lots of Ash-isms that I had trouble understanding. The jobs were mostly things that sounded really interesting but that I am not qualified for-- the one I remember is to be an auto mechanic.
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lots of Ash-isms that I had trouble understanding.
i can't fathom where that element originated
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I think you should do it. Get on Craigslist and bring the hilarity, Dr. Jones.
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There is a great website that posts links to funny job listings, and I can never remember the name when I want it.
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...I now figured out what was really going on here. Still, that sounds like a thing I would dig doing. Good job getting that part right.
Figment crosstalk
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I was at my last day of work at the grocery store... ON DEEP SPACE NINE.
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I was at my last day of work at the grocery store... ON DEEP SPACE NINE.
those ferengi's make me feel like i need to shower.
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This is one of those super-involved dreams. I will totally understand if it's TL:DR for most of you. It's also really weirdly personal, so...uh...don't judge me, and stuff.
So, I started out on board the Enterprise, but that part wasn't really all that important in the end. Somehow we opened a portal to a parallel dimension, and a few men slipped through. They stayed a few days, and while two were anxious to get back home, one of them was intensely fascinated with our world and how it worked. We spent a lot of time together and developed intense feelings for one another.
We were finally able to send the men home, but I couldn't stop thinking about this guy. In my dream he had a name, but I can't remember it now, so let's call him Enoch. So I couldn't stop thinking about Enoch, and one night, while I was sleeping, he suddenly appeared in my quarters. He told me that he hadn't been able to get me out of his head, and he couldn't live without seeing me again. But he was afraid if he stayed too long, he wouldn't be able to get back home. Then he vanished.
I thought I was dreaming. But the next night, Somehow my consciousness slipped into the parallel dimension and I found myself in Enoch's quarters. This was cooler than it sounds. I asked him if he'd really been in my room the previous night, and he said yes, and he was miserable without me but he didn't see any way that we could be together. We said goodbye and thought it would be for good.
But the next day, I was daydreaming about Enoch and what might have been, and suddenly I felt like I was falling -- that jolt you get sometimes when falling asleep, except I was awake at the time. (Well, awake within my dream.) When I jerked and looked around, I realized that I was, completely and bodily, in the alternate dimension again. It was quiet and still, as though the whole ship were asleep. In fact, most of them were -- in the Enoch's universe, almost everything was the opposite of the way it is in ours, so they were nocturnal. I crept into Enoch's quarters and slipped into bed beside him. He awakened and was shocked and thrilled to find that I'd come to him. We made love, knowing it was a forbidden passion but also that we may never have another chance. Afterward, I fell asleep in his arms but awoke back in my own quarters on the Enterprise.
Weeks passed, and I tried in vain to return to Enoch's world. I couldn't get myself to fall through the dimensions again, no matter how hard I tried. He came to me in dreams a few times, and sometimes I would catch a glimpse of his ship through the interdimensional veil, but I wasn't able to make my body move outside of time and space like I had previously. Then, finally, he came to me one afternoon. We talked at length about the differences between our worlds and how we'd each been able to accidentally travel between them. He seemed to have aged, and I discovered that what had seemed like weeks for me had actually been over a year to him.
When it was time for him to go back, we decided I would try to go with him. I held his hand and he allowed himself to slip, and I closed my eyes and felt as if I was swirling down a drain starting with my left hand. Then a jolt, and I opened my eyes and found myself on Enoch's ship again. This time, he took me around to show me all the differences between his universe and mine. For starters, as I mentioned, everyone was nocturnal. Their society was matriarchal, and I learned that men were the bearers of children -- much to my surprise, when I discovered that Enoch had borne a child since our last meeting. We had a beautiful boy, and Enoch had been raising him alone because he didn't want to burden me with the knowledge that I had a child whom I could not visit at will.
I stayed with Enoch for a few hours and was continually shocked at how everything was exactly the opposite of how it is here, often in ways you wouldn't expect. I wish I remembered more specific details, but basically everything from their economy (in which wealth was reviled) to their cuisine (in which food was judged on its nutritional content rather than its flavor) was diametrically opposed to the way things are here. When I felt that I could not stay any longer without risking losing touch with my own dimension, I slipped back to the Enterprise and told some of my crewmates what I had seen.
Enoch and I continued to work on our ability to move between the dimensions and eventually became able to do so at will. We had another child, another boy, and I visited frequently, but the children were never able to come to the Enterprise. When Enoch confessed that he was expecting twins -- a third son and our first daughter -- I resigned my position on the Enterprise, said good-bye to my friends, and allowed my body to pass permanently into his dimension. (Apparently in the parallel dimension, their version of RicK Santorum had banned birth control, or something -- this dude was remarkably fertile.)
It was a difficult decision. Although a handful of Enoch's people welcomed me, most -- particularly the women -- made it clear that they didn't want me there. I faced intense prejudice from strangers. And the nocturnal-vs-diurnal issue was a constant argument between Enoch and me, especially where it concerned the children. (I was constantly letting them stay up until 1 in the afternoon, much to his chagrin.) But, overall, we were happy. On the Enterprise, I had been alone, married to my work. In Enoch's world, I had love, life, and family.
It was one of those early-morning dreams where you keep waking up, and then trying hard to go back to sleep so you can go back there for just a little bit longer. I succeeded several times, until I ran the risk of making my son late for school. It was really intense and really vivid, and it's probably going to haunt me for the rest of the day. I can't help but ask -- what does it mean? And this imagined man with whom I was completely but briefly in love -- his form will consume my thoughts for the next several hours, I'm certain. I'll remember him, perhaps, longer than our entire affair lasted in real time, though he never existed at all.
Sigh.
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It means that you have an amazing, powerful imagination. One of the useful facets of our amazing brains is the ability to create scenarios and test various outcomes of actions without actually performing them in reality (and thus suffering the consequences of bad decisions).
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Yeah, I guess. I dunno, I hate when I have such vivid dreams because I have trouble shaking out of them in the morning. It leaves me feeling all melancholy and confused.
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can't believe I forgot to post my dream that tied-in with JL's.
First: I was riding the Chicago El all around town. I ended up in this big park, and I wandered around for a while. Eventually I found my destination, a weird building. I went inside and the dream all changed. Now I was boarding a starship with various Star Trek characters. We were going to be the first humans to go to Romulus. In the dream I did not remember that the Romulans have twin home worlds. I confided to Picard that this had always been a fantasy of mine, and he yelled at me. "THE SECOND YOU START TO ENJOY IT... THE SECOND YOU START THINKING EVERYTHING IS GREAT. THAT'S WHEN THEY'LL ATTACK. NEVER LET YOUR GUARD DOWN." I was impressed by Patrick Stewart's acting, and thought about how lucky I was to have been cast in this part.
The next night: I hung out with a local urbanist dude and talked about graduate school. He advised me to get an MSW with a focus in economic/social development instead of a master's in urban planning, because there are more jobs (this is how you know it was a dream). Then I cleared the table and accidentally threw their plate full of bagels into the trash. The dream ended with me reflecting on the fact that he and his girlfriend didn't look at all like their twitter avatars. He fulfills some sort of archetype for me, because I think about this guy a lot-- he is like my imaginary devil's advocate when I think about social issues.
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i was touring a factory where they made thin metal decorations for homes and gardens, like they stamp roosters and bunnies(etc.) out of tin. i saw that one of the dudes and an older lady with whom i went to college, as well as a dude with whom i went to ES/MS/HS work there(none of them know each other in actual reality). they had a motor driven chain system about 7 feet off the ground that ran all around the place. it had hooks hanging from it with the decorations hanging from them and as they passed through a paint booth, they would come out black on the other side. after a while they would pass a table where people were sitting. it was a lot like when i had to work on the paint line at the stove factory. anyway, i saw a decorative shoe and i took it off its hook, just to look at. it was made to look sort of like a regular shoe. there was a long oval and an "upper" and "lower" part, all stitched together with copper wire. it looked kinda crappy; it wasnt even painted, the stitching was hella sloppy and stopped in random places. i took it to the lady supervisor to show her and she took it to wherever it was supposed to go to get fixed. i thought to myself, "i could totally work here. i pretty much know how to do the job." all of a sudden some woman my age started getting attitude-y with me, saying stuff like, "you dont even work here," and, "thats my job." i was pretty passive about it, you know, i apologized and all that, then she started in on another tirade. i walked away and noticed that all the other employees were standing around listening to a different supervisor give some lame safety talk, or whatever. i glanced to my left and saw the older lady i went to college with talking to(flirting with?) a young dude next her. she was all sly and asked, "so, when are you taking me out to dinner?" it ended there because i woke up.
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living in a shitty apartment in a weird part of town, where my neighbors tell me that it's really rude to have friends over. I negotiate that I will stop having friends over if they will stop "all the violence." Then my girlfriend tells me she is pregnant, and she is really gleeful about it. I lock myself in the bathroom and take a shower and think about how insane that is. The rest of the dream was trying to fix the broken shower.
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On that note, should we have actually had a separate "I had a nightmare . . . " thread?
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I have read that a common thing that happens in dreams is being unable to turn off faucets, read clocks, and turn lights on/off. I wonder why that is? In this one I turned the faucets so far that they broke off.
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I'm frequently frustrated by my inability to punch someone in a dream. One time it made me so mad that I forced, and forced, and forced it until I was able to do it. Then I woke up to my dazed wife that I had just clocked under the chin.
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Vicious.
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I've never dreamed about faucets not working, but I often dream about not being able to turn off stuff like TVs and radios, or not being able to dial a number on a phone.
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Rhea Perlman came up recently in this thread; I last saw her in a Law & Order episode a while ago. I remembered that she is married to Danny De Vito; extraordinarily for a Hollywood couple their marriage has endured for 30 years (and they've been shacked up since 1969 according to Cigar Aficionado). In poking around the interwebs I came across this picture of them with their two daughters
(http://blogs.app.com/cultureklatch/files/2009/11/DeVitos.jpg)
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Dang, those daughters have some great hair.
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I'm certain that there has been reference to their daughters here before.
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I had the dream of a 14 year old girl recently. I think it was accidentally delivered to my subconscious, but meant for some girl one street over.
I dreamed I was Bella from Twilight, have fun running with Jacob and the other wolves, then they all morphed in to puppies and it was cuddle time!
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I had the dream of a 14 year old girl recently. I think it was accidentally delivered to my subconscious, but meant for some girl one street over.
I dreamed I was Bella from Twilight, have fun running with Jacob and the other wolves, then they all morphed in to puppies and it was cuddle time!
High fives all around. Way to find your inner tween.
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I dreamed I was Bella from Twilight, have fun running with Jacob and the other wolves, then they all morphed in to puppies and it was cuddle time!
I wanna have that dream.
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I was especially excited in the dream because one of the puppies was a long haired daschund puppy.
This morning I fell back asleep after the clock radio went off, and I dreamed that my coworker was telling me the traffic report!
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I had a nightmare last week that someone had torn down all the foliage on my back fence that blocks my view of the adjacent backyard where people park their cars. I came home yesterday to find that new people had moved into that house and had torn down 3/4 of the foliage on the fence.
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I had a dream in the wee hours this morning that I was confronted with two potential lovers among a group of friends, and I was trying to decide which of them to pursue. One of them was Brandon Patton, who plays bass for MC Frontalot, and the other was Sheldon Cooper from Big Bang Theory. (Not the actor. The character.) When I woke up, I was leaning Team Sheldon because he seemed more interested.
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Not against you, but that seems very unlikely for Sheldon Cooper.
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You know how almost all men think, deep down, that lesbians are hot because of that kernel of hope that they could be "the one?"
I feel the same way about nerds.
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:)
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Very, very long dream involving TOUAMBers, suicide, a funeral, 19th century aristocracy, my paternal grandfather (who I have never met), and sass from coworkers. Something about my bedroom is off lately and I have been sleeping very restlessly.
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Dreamed I was at what I think was a senior center with my parents having dinner in the dining hall. Mitt Romney was there standing on a grand stairway leading up to the lobby of the building. There was also a young lady there who was being honored for some accomplishment. She went up to Romney and they talked for a few minutes. Eventually the seniors started to get up from their tables and approach him. I said to my parents "Let's go get our picture made with the President." I thought to myself, "he's not the President, he's only a candidate." but didn't say it.
My parents couldn't climb the stairs properly so they literally crawled up the stairs. About that time Romney went the rest of the way up the stairs into the lobby of the place. It was the kind of place that has two entryways with a little foyer between. He was standing in that little foyer being left more or less alone.
There were two little kids there sitting on the bench beside Romney, like maybe 6 or 7 years old, and Romney was belittling them for not showing the proper respect to adults. I remember him saying "What do you expect from someone from New Caney." I lived in New Caney for 9 years and to be fair, New Caney is a shithole. But of course I took offense to it.
I remember he was a dick to me as well, but that part is vague and then I woke up.
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In my dream last night, I went to a church full of violent anti-abortionists and just laid into them for like two hours straight.
I have no idea what triggered that dream but it was pretty fun.
Coupla nights ago, in my dream, I was working on a crass remake of Back to the Future and after a coupla days, we all rebelled, the actors, the crew, the director, everybody... and we holed ourselves up in the set and spent the budget making a bunch of agitprop satire short films instead, just blowing millions of dollars on dozens of political and often incredibly vulgar short films.
After a few weeks, the backers of the film sent a bunch of cops to arrest us but we uploaded everything we'd finished to the internet first, beginning some kind of great awakening in our culture that was so glorious that we didn't care. We had won.
I woke up with an innerpeace I haven't had in years that disappeared completely by the first cup of morning coffee.
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..that my Dad was some sort of charismatic cult leader who had a huge oceangoing yacht (a la L. Ron Hubbard and the Royal Scotsman). Unlike Hubbard however, he was something of a prisoner of his followers, who didn't want worldly concerns to trouble their spiritual leader. I had to find him on this huge ship, which had all sorts of branching passageways, lavish staterooms, lecture halls and the like. All the while we were underway in some sort of tropical locale (eastern coast of Africa maybe?) on the way to cult headquarters. I knew once we got there I'd never be able to get him free from his followers. They knew who I was, and they openly deferred to me in public, but kept my father hidden somehow. I knew that if any of them got me alone they'd make me disappear, so the whole thing was very cat-and-penis. I woke up before the dream resolved.
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I had an anxiety dream that my iPhone's screen protector was peeling off. Proof positive I like my iPhone too much.
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That's kind of horrifying actually. Needle sharp claws and such.
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I was flying a U-2 spy plane over Russia. I landed somewhere in Siberia and killed a large lion-esque creature for food. His skin made a great teepee. I woke up to my cat slapping at my face.
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I have now had 3 different dreams about the angry guy I talk to about urban planning on twitter. He always angrily asks me what I want to do with my life. But normally there is also some mundane component. Just now we found out (in my dream) that we both like rye whiskey.
The other part of the dream was sleeping in a weird abandoned building. When we drove up our car was attacked by a lion.
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I somehow injured myself at work, and was required to take a drug test. When I was peeing in the cup I forgot the instructions, and did something I was not supposed to do. When I was done they told me I had failed, and would not tell me if I had somehow tested positive for drugs, or if it was because I had broken the rules about how to pee in the cup. They said, you are fired, unless you want to go to the union and fight this. I couldn't stop thinking, "what will I tell my parents when they ask me how I got fired?"
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I was in a hotel room with 2 hookers and we were getting dressed. John Wayne walked into the room and told me it was time to go. He saw the hookers and told me to bring them along with us. I can't remember what else happened.
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I can't remember what else happened.
*weeps*
The dream I had last night involved inev and cupcake girl. I can't remember it exactly, I just know that they were both there, being straightforward about their feelings. (It was not a sexytimes dream at all, just a regular people dream.) I may have been invisible.
At one point, cupcake girl was like, "inev, I want you to be my boyfriend." And he was all, "I like that. I like that you want me to be your boyfriend. Yes, I will be your boyfriend. Let's discuss your expectations of me in this role."
It was awesome.
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Sounds hot. Right now I am having a "nightmare" where I probably gave her strep throat, because I have strep throat and our tonsils have been hanging out lately.
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Onstad came out with a big series of articles that made him sound like a dick. The only part I remember was one about how he had 3 touring buses (the big ones like rock bands have) for his cross-country food tour, one of which was reserved for leftovers and fancy food gadgets.
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You get a can for that dream.
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Onstad has probably had that dream as well. Probably woke up with the sheets sticky.
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I had a long dream where at one point I met Ash. It involved RVs, guns, giraffeing, and my sister getting lost. There was one point where I felt extremely threatened by something Ash said, but decided he was probably just trying to freak me out as a joke.
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Dream merge! Dan was freaked out because you told him you were gonna make him squeal like a pig.
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Dream merge! Dan was freaked out because you told him you were gonna make him squeal like a pig.
+1
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I never, ever have making-out dreams. Last night I had a really REALLY explicit making-out dream about this girl I am dating. but in the dream it was "this girl I am dating named ####" but it looked like another girl I know. We did all these intense makeout things and talked about things we talk about in real life, and then my dream-brain got confused and thought about "when did I start dating this girl? I thought I was dating that other girl? Am I dating a girl who posts pictures on instagram of her posing next to her fixed-gear bicycle? How did this happen? Isn't she like 4 years younger than me? I thought I was dating ####? Did I cheat on her with this other girl? Why did I do that weird sex thing that I have never done before with this girl?"
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two nights in a row of gender-bending sex dreams. Did not enjoy.
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So... wait, that's too good a start.
Did your lady turn into a dude? Did you turn into a lady?
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One night where I had a pu$$y and was living life with a secret pu$$y, one night where I kissed my HS friend who is a f2m transexual.
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I have those kinds of dreams all the time. Well, sort of. Most often I am making out with someone of definite gender, and all of a sudden I don't remember which gender I am any more. I had one just the other night that I was making out with this SUPER HOT little punk girl with pink streaks in her black hair, all wearing too much eye makeup and black thigh-highs with holes in the knees, she was at least six inches shorter than me and all of a sudden while we were kissing I was like, "Shit, I know I'm bisexual but I have no idea what kind of equipment I have in my #####."
I never did get it quite figured out but I guess it didn't matter because I woke up before we got past second base. I figured out then pretty quickly that I was a girl because if I'd been male I would have had a RAGING BONER to contend with. Damn, that was a hot dream.
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The secon one was mostly the aftermath. Feeling horrifie and disgusted but also feeling really guilty about those feelings, and trying not to hurt the feelings of the friend by seeming repelled.
I would kill to have a sex dream that is about a pretty lady who is not my ex or a man or something. Especially because I think I might be living a sexless life for a little while. I might need to focus on things other than what my dick wants for a while.
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I had a dream that I had a life-sized Jake Gyllenhaal-bot doll, and he was all silly and up to shenanigans. I had just spent a bunch of time lost on Japanese train platforms and at the drug store I got caught shoplifting at as a child. I needed to hurry up and put together a quality gift basket before I went to visit my senile friend in a care home, who happened to be Bea Arthur. So I told Gyllenhaal-bot to get serious and help me make the gift basket, only then we were under attack by a massive whale. A land whale. We sought shelter, but we realized our mistake when the land-whale started ramming his head against the shed we ducked into, as clearly he would be able to smash the whole shed apart and get to us. I awoke before the shed collapsed.
Lessons learned - you've got to take the lead on decisions when the other party is a Gyllenhaal-bot doll, and also don't underestimate land-whales. They are super strong.
Jet-lag apparently makes for awesome dreams.
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awesome.
last night my dream hinged on the fact that the new iPhone software got rid of public transit directions on the maps. So I was stranded in a strange land, couldn't find a transit map, and couldn't use my fancy phone to help me. So naturally I had to quit my job in frustration.
The other part of the dream is that I lived with my really unhygienic friend in a dorm room, and he decided to take a shower for the first time in a month. In the shower that was in the middle of my dorm room. His nasty dirty water was splashing all over my stuff.
At least there weren't any landwhales. Jesus.
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Landwhales! Hell yes!
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Seriously. Ramming at the shed walls. Hard.
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I had a dream last night about driving a high school friend I haven't spoken to in years to a magic hospital to get a magical sex change into a lady, probably because of Dan's dream.
He couldn't drive herself back (I think that's the way to handle the pronouns) because it took too much out of them to go through it with but it wasn't an in-patient thing so I helped out.
I remember being not surprised at all that this was A Thing but I was surprised when the magic even changed his clothes and hairstyle and put make-up on him and stuff.
The magic doctor wasn't sure either, it was just supposed to, you know, turn him into the woman he would've been and if he wanted new clothes and all that, he would've had to have rewritten everything about his personality and history and possessions, it was just supposed to change his gender.
It was a sign that something was going horribly wrong with magic.
And as the doctors started panicking, I woke up.
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Still with the horrible jet lag, I awoke at 2 AM and couldn't get back to sleep until close to 6 AM. Had an audio only dream of Kool and the Gang's "Celebration" on extra loud repeat in my brain. Blaring brass instruments are not restful. I'd choose the land-whale dream over this any day.
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...that Leonard Nimoy had died, and the details of his last moments were the subject of news reportage. He had dropped acid and climbed into a sensory deprivation tank and allowed himself to run out of oxygen. Frankly, that sounds like a terrifying way to go.
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But that's exactly how Nimoy would want to go.
Except maybe he'd want light in the tank and lots of pictures of really heavy-set women.
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I've been having really vivid and slightly strange dreams lately. I don't even know how to describe them. Some of the images stay with me throughout the day but I can't put the events together in any narrative that makes sense. Just images and impressions. Last night's main character was a girl I stopped seeing like 2 and 1/2 years ago but who has been on my mind recently.
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I had a horribly vivid nightmare that I had gone back in time to inhabit my eight-year-old body, but with all the knowledge and experience I have now. It wasn't a nightmare until things started happening differently from the way I remembered them. It started out with little things, like having a different third grade teacher. But then my brother was killed in a car crash. Because I "remembered" the future, I knew that he wasn't supposed to die -- and not only had I lost him, I also lost the wonderful relationship I was supposed to have with his wife and his beautiful children. It was horrible.
Damn my crazy sci-fi brain.
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Dag nabbit. I had yet another horrible dream about the dangers of motor vehicles.
This time, I went to visit Wombat and when I got there she had just come from the vet because one of her pugs had been hit by a car. She (the dog) had not been killed but the vet was not optimistic that she would live through the night.
It was awful and sad. Way sadder than I would have expected to feel for a dog that I have never met. Womles, give Lilly an extra slice of brioche for me today.
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Aww. We can do that.
I have felt sad many times when a pug died who I only knew on the Internet. Someday I guess I will have to be the person who does that to everyone else.
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Awe, dead Internet dogs make me sad all the time. Especially when the owners mention Rainbow Bridge. That gets me weepy.
Side note: in retrospect, those vivid dreams I posted about post-Tokyo were actually early-pregnancy dreams. I've had several others since, but I tend to forget them shortly after waking.
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...that many of my coworkers brought their dogs to work. There didn't seem to be anything exceptional about it. I was just walking through the building and people were walking with their dogs, and they were curled up in offices and cubicles.
In reality that would be an interesting thing to see. I imagine that with dogs' territoriality there would be all sorts of commotion though.
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Last night John Lithgow and I were on a sales call. We were hawking packaging supplies (boxes, shrink wrap, tape, palletizers) to a UAV drone manufacturer. He was totally queering the pitch and rambling on about how pissed he was the warehouse workers weren't unionized. I tried to rescue the pitch by sending him out to pick up lunch, but when he came back he was passing out socialist spanish language literature. We were thrown out of the building and John Lithgow started crying.
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Last night John Lithgow and I were on a sales call. We were hawking packaging supplies (boxes, shrink wrap, tape, palletizers) to a UAV drone manufacturer. He was totally queering the pitch and rambling on about how pissed he was the warehouse workers weren't unionized. I tried to rescue the pitch by sending him out to pick up lunch, but when he came back he was passing out socialist spanish language literature. We were thrown out of the building and John Lithgow started crying.
that sounds like an episode of the The Office.
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I dreamed that I was having post-coital pillow talk about temporal anomalies with a naked Neil Gaiman. I am such a nerd that my subconscious skipped the actual naughty bits and went straight for the sci-fi pillow talk. And, even dorkier, I woke up thinking, "That is the hottest dream I have had in quite some time."
Save yourselves, folks; there's no hope for me any more.
Edit: apparently I know their work better than their faces -- it was Neil Gaiman, not William Gibson. But I didn't realize it 'til a post by Gaiman popped up in my Facebook feed.
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My last dream was actually really sweet. I was going to the same place sitting in the same seat for lunch every day and the same girl was always at the same place in the same seat at the same time. Eventually we made conversation until she came running over and yelled
"DO YOU LOVE MELISSA ETHERIDGE?"
"What? The 'come to my window' lady? No. I don't love Melissa etheridge."
"DO YOU WANT TO MARRY MELISSA ETHERIDGE?"
"No. Never crossed my mind."
And then we smooched.
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Melissa Ethridge Sucks. I mean figuratively speaking she sucks. She brags about having never had sex with a man ever. That's a joke y'all. I don't care about her sexuality except for the fact she makes such a big deal out of it. But really her music is terrible.
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I believe they'd call her a "gold star lesbian."
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I had a dream I got back with my Ex. No, not the one you're thinking of. And not cupcake girl. The girl I dated in high school. It was weird. I imagined she would be impressed at how much better I have gotten at making out.
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Bruce Willis and I were chasing/running from an eastern european woman. I can't follow the plot because the chases were broken up by Bruce and I going apartment shopping and playing football. The apartment building was still under construction and each floor was stylized by a year. Like there was a 2012 floor, a 2013 floor, etc. We were in a chase where Bruce was in one car and I was in another with a nerdy young english woman who kept shooting a gun at the floorboards. We had to fake our own deaths so we crashed the cars into trees and walked away to play football with some kids who were getting off a school bus.
It made sense at the time.
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Were you on Roombas at the time?
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Reading for a couple hours about future satire social media idiots in Super Sad True Love Story gave me weird dreams two nights in a row. That book is good but the dreams were unsettling.
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All I ever have are these anxiety dreams where I'm in a strange place where the bathrooms are weird and I can't manage to get showered and dressed. My life is even boring in my dreams.
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All I ever have are these anxiety dreams where I'm in a strange place where the bathrooms are weird and I can't manage to get showered and dressed. My life is even boring in my dreams.
I also have dreams where the bathrooms are weird but it's that I can't pee. Either the bathroom is really weirdly set up or it's oddly public with doors that don't close.
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Thank you, it's very comforting that someone else has weird bathroom dreams.
I used to have dreams where part of the problem was that the shower was too public, but now it's mostly that the plumbing is totally bizarre or there's some other complication.
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I've said before (in this thread probably) that I don't remember my dreams- I've literally had like 2 dreams my whole life I remember- with that said it seems like that too public bathroom thing kinda does mean something about the way you feel about yourself.
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Thank you, it's very comforting that someone else has weird bathroom dreams.
I used to have dreams where part of the problem was that the shower was too public, but now it's mostly that the plumbing is totally bizarre or there's some other complication.
I have weird bathroom dreams, too. I think it my subconscious's safeguard against letting me pee the bed. The one and only time I remember being able to actually use a toilet in a dream was when I was about 9 or 10 (still a kid, but old enough to be mortified) and I woke up to a warm wet puddle. Ever since then, if I go into a bathroom and it's weirdly unusable, I often realize I'm dreaming and wake myself up.
Except that one of the bathrooms at work since we moved to our new location is undergoing renovations, so the first time I walked in and saw a toilet on its side I thought there was a good chance that I was dreaming. It was...unnerving.
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And...jl's reason makes a lot of sense.
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I had a strange dream this morning. I don't remember most of it, but I remember Weird Al was in it and a lot of people I know. I felt like I was semi conscious (maybe I was) and was drifting in and out of the dream.
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I have weird bathroom dreams, too. I think it my subconscious's safeguard against letting me pee the bed. The one and only time I remember being able to actually use a toilet in a dream was when I was about 9 or 10 (still a kid, but old enough to be mortified) and I woke up to a warm wet puddle. Ever since then, if I go into a bathroom and it's weirdly unusable, I often realize I'm dreaming and wake myself up.
Except that one of the bathrooms at work since we moved to our new location is undergoing renovations, so the first time I walked in and saw a toilet on its side I thought there was a good chance that I was dreaming. It was...unnerving.
The first time I was drunk I walked into the bar's bathroom and every surface was mirrored. Even the urinals were like stainless steel or something. Most of it had a brushed effect so it didn't reflect well but still. I briefly wondered if I had actually fallen asleep in my chair. But yeah, weird bathroom dreams = waking up really needing to pee.
I used to have a lot of dreams about elevators rocking out the tops of buildings. But for about 3 months I started really focusing on elevators in real life. Reading words, looking away, then looking at the words again to see if they'd changed. That sort of thing. So if I was in a dream elevator I'd be able to tell. Since then I haven't had one of the elevator dreams once.
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I have a lot of dreams about various bodily functions where they start, and once they start I can't stop. Puking, peeing, whatever. Gross.
I think I had a weird bathroom dream recently, but I can't quite place what happened. There was something about trying to kiss my friend, and then suddenly we were in the bathroom, and everyone was outraged that I was in the bathroom when she was trying to shower. There might have been something wrong with the door so I couldn't get out?
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Well now if everyone else's bathroom dreams are about peeing and only mine are about not being able to take a shower, I feel weird again.
Mine are clearly anxiety dreams - they're like dreams about being late for something. Now that I think of it, actually they used to have that component, where I was explicitly thinking about not being showered and dressed yet was making me late for something. Now I guess my life expectations are so low that just getting showered is the goal I can't achieve.
Cort, that is a brilliant thing how you cured yourself of elevator nightmares. I wonder if I could figure out a similar way to cure myself of scary air traffic nightmares.
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My particular twist on this theme are that the bathroom stalls are sort of maze-like (or perhaps cublicle-farm-like?) and whenever I open the door to have a look the bowl is overflowing with shit. Usually I just have to pee, but there is no way I'm getting near something like that. So I walk down to the next door, have a look in, and see the same thing.
I have a lot of dreams about various bodily functions where they start, and once they start I can't stop. Puking, peeing, whatever. Gross.
We've seen this before (http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10032006)
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Cort, that is a brilliant thing how you cured yourself of elevator nightmares. I wonder if I could figure out a similar way to cure myself of scary air traffic nightmares.
What I did was actually something I read as a method for learning lucid dreaming. If you frequently dream about a thing or location get in the habit of really studying that thing even if you're certain you're awake. Then studying it will become second nature and will happen in dreams, too. But in the dream there will be inconsistencies which you'll notice and can start dreaming lucidly. Supposedly. My brain just said, "oh, you want to lucid dream in elevators now? Guess what? No more elevators in dreams ever again. Suck it, conscious mind."
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Hmm, I don't think I want to risk having lucid dreams about frightening aircraft. It's not something that is easy to run away from even if I can choose to.
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I had a dream that my landlord called me, in tears, to tell me that he had just found out he only had a few months to live, and we had to move out. I was sad for him but also freaked out about where to live. A man walking down my street saw that I was carrying a bunch of stuff, upset, and on the phone, and changed his path to intercept me. I screamed "LEAVE ME ALONE! LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE! NO!" and he looked kind of sad as he punched me in the face and I woke up.
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I vaguely recall using my Nook to look up words. Most boring dream ever.
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I had a rather extended dream about eating those rolls they have at Starbucks with the cinnamon sugar all over them.
This actually isn't that unusual, I have dreamed about baked goods all my life. But until a few years ago it was always about being in a bakery with a million choices. It was only recently that I ever got to actually eat anything in these dreams. I don't think this has any deep significance but it sure sounds like one of those things that does.
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Tom Hanks and I were fighting crime. We met at the diner we were smoking inside (as every NJ guy did). We fought crime by coming to reasonable agreement between Tom, Me, and the Criminals. I woke up with a raging erection but that was probably because I had to pee.
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After I made the previous post, I remembered something-- the guy who beat me up was the guy from Death Grips (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W43aQxzjyeM), who we had seen the night before.
(http://media.sabotagetimes.com/wp-content/uploads/death-grips1.jpg)
Last night I had a dream a bunch of my friends went to Paris. the girl whose house I stayed at in Nashville had a house there, but I was too embarrassed to ask if I could stay, so I stayed in some creepy basement. Then we had sex, and she stopped in the middle to let me know that she didn't want to date me, and this was just meaningless fun.
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Then we had sex, and she stopped in the middle to let me know that she didn't want to date me, and this was just meaningless fun.
Sounds like a win to me.
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After I made the previous post, I remembered something-- the guy who beat me up was the guy from Death Grips (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W43aQxzjyeM), who we had seen the night before.
(http://media.sabotagetimes.com/wp-content/uploads/death-grips1.jpg)
Last night I had a dream a bunch of my friends went to Paris. the girl whose house I stayed at in Nashville had a house there, but I was too embarrassed to ask if I could stay, so I stayed in some creepy basement. Then we had sex, and she stopped in the middle to let me know that she didn't want to date me, and this was just meaningless fun.
Without reference I blinked and saw a uterus.
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I think I did that thing, or did I just dream I did that thing, or is there a difference and how do you tell? I was having a nightmade involving bad guys, basically, and we ended up on a plane and given the plot of the dream so far I knew this couldn't end well. There's this thing I realized that helps me be less afraid of flying, which is that if you're in a plane with just the usual amount of bumpiness in the ride and you close your eyes, you can imagine you're on Amtrak. (In fact usually the ride is smoother than on Amtrak). So I did that, and when I opened my eyes I was on a train.
It felt like I was changing the dream on purpose but how do I know I wasn't dreaming that I changed the dream on purpose?
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Inception!
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Lately in my dreams, I am shifting back and forth between things actually happening to them and being an actor pretending they're happening to me on a set.
And invariably mixing up the two causing much trouble in the reality of the dream.
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cockroaches climbing out of open wounds, leaking pus.
great.
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So after literally decades of having that dream where I'm trying to take a shower in a strange place and I can't manage to do it - I finally did. And then I realized that I shouldn't have washed my hair because it was late in the afternoon and I was just going to have to wash it again in the morning.
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I was hosting a poker game in a dark basement with a bunch of people I've encountered in my professional life who were dangerously incompetent or diabolically and maliciously self-centered. I tried leaving to go upstairs, out of the basement, and they were all there at another table at the top of the stairs. Their dumb faces were telling awful jokes and playing incomprehensible poker strategy to the point of being annoying.
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I had my first elevator dream in a while. The elevator shot out the top of the building and I instantly looked at the capacity sign, turned away, and looked again. It didn't seem different and I just calmly said to myself "well if this isn't a dream then this couldn't be happening, elevators don't work like this in real life." And suddenly the elevator was back in the building opening its doors at the top floor normally.
So while I wasn't able to dream lucidly I was able to short-circuit the nightmare part.
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Multiple times in the last week I have had dreams about hanging out with people I only know online. Not any about you guys, though. Only ladies from twitter. It feels weird.
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What, we're not good enough to hang out with you in your dreams? Yeah, you're right, I'd rather hang out with bitches from Twitter too.
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in one of the dreams I just showed up at this girl's house and waited around for her. Then she explained that this was really creepy, and I felt terrible.
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I fell asleep at my home desk and woke up to a colleague, in my home, asking me where the flank steak was. I told I didn't know where the flank steak was, or why there would even be some flank steak just laying around and he got really agitated. Started asking me about chutney and hanger steaks. Then he picked up a cat (not mine, just a cat that happened to be in the room) and complained it was going to be a pain to skin and dress the cat just for a decent lunch and walked out. Then I looked down at the manual on my desk and it was in a totally nonsense language that moved around on the page when I tried to read it.
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DO YOU WANT SOME CHUTNEY?
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...that my cool artist friend decided her next project was a kid, and she wanted me to be the dad. She had a whole complicated plan about how the kid was going to be raised, schools, food, activities, particular jobs for friends of ours (such and such guy teaches painting, such and such girl teaches guitar). The only thing not mentioned was whether we were going to make the kid the old fashioned way. So of course the dream was mostly me wondering whether that was gonna happen.
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I have a disproportionate number of dreams about public transit. About being in a subway system and not being able to figure out which train to get on, which side of the tracks to get on, which way to go.
I wonder if that's a metaphor for anything.
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It was shortly after the end of the war and I was a Confederate soldier trying to find my way back home. I came upon a camp at a landing by a river. There was an old lady with a bunch of children gathered around a table outside. She had a pot of something she was cooking. She fed us starving men. She even served us the last of her hams even though she didn't know where her next meal was coming from either.
Fast forward, it's after dinner and I'm sitting on the bench looking out into a clearing. I'm watching two young girls riding hobby hosss. I hear the sound of guitars being tuned so I turn and walk toward the sound. I walked around a couple of old cars and a large truck hooked to a long trailer. On the other side I found the old lady leading a band of misfit soldiers. The drummer, whose legs were blown off at the knees, sat on a low stool so he could reach the pedals with his leg stumps. They were all wearing matching Nudie Suits that vaguely resembled rebel uniforms. They broke into a rendition of The Weight that was so beautiful I woke up feeling euphoric.
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I was at work alone and this awful customer who stresses me out ordered two drinks. He listed a ton of attributes and got very mad when I asked which drink was skim, which was decaf, etc. He just kept rattling it off so fast and wouldn't slow down or let me write it down, and then he left and said "I'll be back in a minute." I kept getting them mixed up, and at one point I got so frustrated that I threw them at the wall and had to start over. Meanwhile all these people were calling out new orders to me, and they were all the friendly customers who I like, and were confused about why I was acting so rude and ignoring them.
THEN I remembered he was also my professor for a class, and I had to write a paper about coffee drinks for him, so I was trying to write about his order while I made it but everything was getting cold and I forgot what flavor the second drink was and oh god here he comes and
then I woke up because my alarm was going off. Time to go to work!
this was a nearly accurate representation of this guy. he gets the same thing every time, but only comes in once a month or so, and gets really pissy if I don't remember what he wants. Obviously by now I remember, but it took a while because, I mean, come on, every customer gets some combination of the same ingredients. He also yelled at my coworker and demanded that he "admit" that he had coughed on his drink. He didn't want a new drink, which we offered him, he wanted the guy to "admit that he lied" about coughing. When he did that I purposely burnt his drink, which I have never done, and he said it was the best drink he'd ever had and started asking for me to make it that way every time. ass.
(side note: when you burn a mocha it tastes like when I make hot chocolate on my stove. I guess my hot chocolate technique needs some work.)
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The whole deal with writing a paper about coffee for a class is hilarious.
You know burnt chocolate is not always a bad thing. There's this recipe I make for bread rolls with dark chocolate inside and usually a couple break open and a little chocolate leaks out and there'll be these little lumps of chocolate burnt on the bottom, and they are the best part of the whole thing.
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You've invented a new drink.
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Yeah, there are actually people who say "I want a 180 mocha" or "I want a 180 latte," meaning they want the milk to be steamed to a temperature where it starts breaking down/(carmelizing?).
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Do you want to punch people when they ask that? Because I feel high-maintenance when I ask for something as presumably simple as half-decaf.
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Don't mind me, I'll just be over in the corner here sucking on a coffee soaked sponge the barista used to wipe a spill.
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I've never liked coffee.
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Do you want to punch people when they ask that? Because I feel high-maintenance when I ask for something as presumably simple as half-decaf.
With stuff like this it's all about the attitude. It is a tiny pain, but like, that is what I get paid to do. Make drinks for people. It is most frustrating when people can't explain what they want, or express their order with a bad attitude. Amazing how many people don't know what any of the drinks are, but don't want me to explain, and also want a really specific thing they don't know the name of. Is it chocolatey? Just coffee and milk? Do you think it had espresso? Was it cold or hot? You don't know the answers to these questions?
Part of the issue is that I really really go on autopilot when I'm making drinks. It's like how you can drive to work and not remember driving there. I end up with a drink and suddenly think "oh shit, did i remember to use skim milk?" When I first started I would say to people-- "this is really silly, and I'm going to write it on the cup... but if i look at you with a blank face in 30 seconds, just say 'skim milk.'"
But really, I can't say this for all of my coworkers, but I want you to be happy with your drink and not angry or frustrated. I want to give you a drink that you will enjoy.
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I've never liked coffee.
Agreed. I've never actually tried it because I can't get past the horrific smell. And other coffee items I've tried accidentally like ice cream have been universally terrible.
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(Coffee is the best thing. Some days it is the only reason being awake is worth the effort.)
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Agreed. I've never actually tried it because I can't get past the horrific smell. And other coffee items I've tried accidentally like ice cream have been universally terrible.
See, that's the thing, for me coffee smells incredible and coffee ice cream is totally delicious. Coffee itself on the other hand is just really bitter and nasty.
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I didn't start liking coffee until I had this job. I still don't love it unless it is mixed with stuff. It also makes my stomach upset, so, less than a cup a day seems to be the way to go.
Hey, maybe starting a new sleep/work schedule at the same time as I doubled my prescription of stimulants was a Very Bad Idea. I have always been a guy who needs a lot of sleep to feel OK, but now I am also a guy who is having trouble falling asleep. Boo to this.
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See, that's the thing, for me coffee smells incredible and coffee ice cream is totally delicious. Coffee itself on the other hand is just really bitter and nasty.
Coffee ice cream and Thai iced coffee were how I was gradually convinced to try regular coffee. Coffee is good with diary and sugar. I still have no idea how people drink black coffee. I am still mainly a tea drinker but fancy coffee is a nice treat and also, if you are not at home, the odds of a decent cup of tea are basically zero but these days the odds of decent coffee are very high.
Coffee is also good with chocolate but I don't understand why people put other flavors in it. Are those flavored syrups in coffee still a thing? I don't see how they could possibly be good combinations.
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Coffee ice cream and Thai iced coffee were how I was gradually convinced to try regular coffee. Coffee is good with diary and sugar. I still have no idea how people drink black coffee. I am still mainly a tea drinker but fancy coffee is a nice treat and also, if you are not at home, the odds of a decent cup of tea are basically zero but these days the odds of decent coffee are very high.
Coffee is also good with chocolate but I don't understand why people put other flavors in it. Are those flavored syrups in coffee still a thing? I don't see how they could possibly be good combinations.
I can't stand tea, either. Even the like peach-raspberry stuff at Teavana still tastes like tea.
The Lady actually has an assortment of syrups (with pumps) next to her Keurig (sp?). Gingerbread, caramel, almond, elderflower, and hibuscus. Though I don't think she puts the latter two in coffee.
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I like coffee, but I can't drink it anymore because it's hard on my stomach. I drink hella tea though.
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Coffee with chocolate is good, but coffee with chocolate and mint is better.
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I reckon I've consumed coffee damn well near every single day for the past ten years at least. The only time I can remember not having coffee in the morning is when I was really sick and hardly got out of bed for a couple days.
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Coffee with chocolate is good, but coffee with chocolate and mint is better.
Ugh, I had no idea people put mint in coffee, that's even worse than the ones I was thinking of.
It's perhaps fair to point out that I will also go "ugh" if you put more than two toppings on a pizza etc. I'd rather have something perfect and simple than something with twenty ingredients all fighting with one another. But coffee and mint.... ugh.
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I likes the hazelnut coffee. That's good stuff.
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I had a dream last night that I went to a restaurant and the only restrooms were so small that you had to literally squeeze yourself into them and couldn't even turn around. I went in one and had a panic attack. I asked a waitress about it and she said the owner wouldn't do anything because it was too expensive and "nobody uses the ones we have, so why have them?" She said he thought that people didn't really need restrooms and that this solved the problem of people coming in to pee and not buying anything.
I think I'm going to quit my job today.
Ugh, I had no idea people put mint in coffee, that's even worse than the ones I was thinking of.
It's perhaps fair to point out that I will also go "ugh" if you put more than two toppings on a pizza etc. I'd rather have something perfect and simple than something with twenty ingredients all fighting with one another. But coffee and mint.... ugh.
Coffee and mint is bad. Iced coffee with milk and sugar and chocolate and mint is amazing. I stand by my choice. Though I agree with you on more than two toppings on a pizza.
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coffee with orange is the fuckin' bomb diggity. slice of rind in with grounds for a pot, dash of bitters in the cup, splash of triple sec, doesn't matter how you get that orange in there, just get it
a latte with a little touch of peppermint is really really nice. spearmint? go fuck yourself. peppermint, baby
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I had a dream last night that I went to a restaurant and the only restrooms were so small that you had to literally squeeze yourself into them and couldn't even turn around. I went in one and had a panic attack. I asked a waitress about it and she said the owner wouldn't do anything because it was too expensive and "nobody uses the ones we have, so why have them?" She said he thought that people didn't really need restrooms and that this solved the problem of people coming in to pee and not buying anything.
I think I'm going to quit my job today.
Wait I thought this was a thread about coffee.
Why are you going to quit your job? I think I forgot to mention that yesterday I had a phone interview for a part time job at the animal shelter that I wanted really badly a year ago and now I am not sure I want it.
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Why are you going to quit your job?
Because my boss runs the store the way the business owner in my dream ran his restaurant. He is planning to institute a new policy that I disagree with which will effectively punish the loyal customers in order to discourage the people he views as "freeloaders," and I'm going to tell him today that I can't support it and I won't work Thursday nights any more if he goes ahead with it.
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long night of awful dreams (mugged someone? got all my teeth beaten out? realized I was a pedophile?) but here's the good one.
I was talking to an asian immigrant, and part of her English difficulty was that whenever she tried to say "mou5e" she said "c*ck."
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I was on a cruise run by Mallory Archer. The power went out and she saw no reason to spend the money to repair it.
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I thought you were carrying the torch for Pam.
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I was talking to an asian immigrant, and part of her English difficulty was that whenever she tried to say "mou5e" she said "c*ck."
Subconsciously we are all just Ultra-Peanut to you.
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last night i had a poker game (i lost) that involved a minor argument (i backed down because i wasn't being a dick and five bucks lasts all night).
this morning before i woke up, i dreamt:
i'm playing poker with simon pegg and nick frost, and a couple other people i can't place. one of them suggests an obscure card game i've never heard of, and everybody else is up for it. i'm lost, and as people are turning to me, i think to help me figure out the game, i ask what in my hand looks like a winner-- loudly announcing "is a flush good? is that what i'm after?" at which point everyone else at the table throws down their hand with an anguished sigh. next hand, i ask "how about four tens?" and repeat the sighs and throwings away. same thing next hand, followed by my deal. at which point i ask "what the hell are the rules to this game anyway?" and all the other people at the table say "oh we've got no idea."
i woke up laughing because my partners in a poker circle in my dream played such a good joke on me.
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That sounds like a fun dream.
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I was walking with one of my high school american history teachers. We were walking around the quad and talking about the government shutdown and all of that. At some point I became self aware that I was in a dream and said "This is my dream and I am now the driver here. Why aren't we banging... right. now."
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My landlord burst into my house with two teenage kids armed with knives. I disarmed one, then seized my landlord and held him captive with the knife at his throat until the police arrived. Later, I realized the title to the house had been forfeited to the police and it went to auction. I bid on it and won.
I knew it had to be a dream, because there is no way I would bid on this dump.
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I had one of those wish-fulfillment dreams where I found out I got into the best possible grad school and it was going to be free. Dreams like that make me kind of disappointed in my brain's creativity. You couldn't throw any funny twists in there? Or at least some sex?
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Maybe its just science fields - but grad school wouldn't cost me any money out of pocket. You get in, and you get to go. You certainly don't make any money doing it, and the hours are long and the work is overwhelming, and it takes forever...and employment afterwards as a post doc isn't a whole lot more lucrative for another 4-6 years. I was about to pull the trigger on it when I learned my wife was pregnant with our second kid. That tipped the balance for me, and I'll remain a Bachelor of Science for a long while to come.
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We've talked about this before somewhere but I don't know where. No one I knew in linguistics paid for grad school either, which is a good thing since there are basically no jobs. But different fields are different and I don't know about what Inev is doing.
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We've talked about this before somewhere but I don't know where. No one I knew in linguistics paid for grad school either, which is a good thing since there are basically no jobs. But different fields are different and I don't know about what Inev is doing.
In my crowd we call that a masturbatory profession. It exists for the purpose of existing with no real productive end. That isn't a judgement call.
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I both totally agree and totally disagree with that. I think that's how you define civilization, that there are many valuable things that exist merely for the sake of existing. I mean, isn't that true of all art? On the other hand, it was one of things that made me uncomfortable about the profession.
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I have often said that the only purpose of an historian is to create new historians. No wonder nobody I know in my field can find a job.
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Hey yo...I manage a sandwich shop with my history degree! Don't say it can't be done.
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Oh...I didn't know that. Awesome!!
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I guess I misspoke -- I meant to say nobody I know can get in a job in my field. I know lots of historians who are employed as, like, receptionists and market analysts and waitresses and retail clerks. But there just aren't enough people who want to be historians to make jobs for all the people who already are.
It's a vicious cycle -- the fewer jobs there are for historians, the fewer people will want to become historians, and that means history programs get under-enrolled and the jobs dwindle even more.
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a-cap, what do you produce at your job?
Last night I had a dream that my best friend, who is engaged, got the shit beaten out of her by her fiance. I didn't like that dream. Both my subconscious and my friends think I hate this guy. He is fine.
(this is a girl who I posted about daily in like 2007, but that was a long time ago)
Urban planning master's programs don't give out much money, because if you go to a good program you can get a nice job. I would like if they gave me money, though.
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a-cap, what do you produce at your job?
Money.
I facilitate the transfer of money around the globe by acting as a buyer and seller of currency. My customers are likely other traders, but at some level it is about converting different currencies between banks. Literally trillions of dollars pass through the fingers of people that do what I do every single day. And as I've said before, I don't just sit on my money. I put it to use remodeling houses, where people live, and other side projects I get caught up in.
What do you produce at your job?
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Money.
This seems like a really depressing answer. Don't you ever wish you were, like, adding beauty and meaning to the world, or something?
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Money is pretty meaningful. I'm OK with making money.
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Trading and taking a cut is not "producing." But my point is not that what you do is bad-- it is that whether someone's job is "producing" is a bad way of evaluating that job. I produce lattes at my job and I don't think my job is better than being a historian. I think being a historian is probably better for the world than producing lattes or comics or paintings. But I still want to live in a world with those things.
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Wait...what? Being a historian is maybe better than being a latte (or sandwich) maker (MAYBE!), but there is no way it is more valuable than like an artistic endeavor. If you are doing something that future historians may talk about it is much more important than being a historian. Though from my degree, historians also talk about old historians a lot, so maybe that's a bad rule.
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historians also talk about hitler a lot so let's back off on that particular metaphor
i produce easy communication between constituents and their elected representatives. i sit at a desk and type all day. i have a history degree. nobody's going to remember my name or my contribution, but idgaf. i make it easy for people to say "hey congress you're a pile of shit" and for the congressperson to say "maybe you'll like my updated even further polarizing stance on the issue." it's pointless, but it's kind of easy and it pays the bills. it lets me life the life i want, which is the point of having a job or a career. if you want to leave a mark on the world, take up a hobby and see how it goes.
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But if all the historians were to disappear tomorrow then in 30 years would the artists know about the past masters and be able to build on what they'd done etc etc? I think collecting and preserving knowledge is a pretty important pursuit and saying that it doesn't produce anything just because you can't turn it into something right this moment doesn't make it without value.
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Trading and taking a cut is not "producing." But my point is not that what you do is bad-- it is that whether someone's job is "producing" is a bad way of evaluating that job. I produce lattes at my job and I don't think my job is better than being a historian. I think being a historian is probably better for the world than producing lattes or comics or paintings. But I still want to live in a world with those things.
Do not reduce what I do to "taking a cut" off trades. Not all of us are out to change the world or produce works of art. Most of us are out to get income to fund our other proclivities. When I was in high school I thought locksmithing and blacksmithing were rad so I gave them a shot. I wasn't good at either, but I was good at seeing the patterns in markets. I do what I'm good at, it pays well, and I can sleep at night. When I said linguistics was a masturbatory profession I meant that people who call themselves linguists or historians are really spending their days doing things that only benefit themselves and other linguists with no outward benefit. I could be wrong. I don't spend a lot of time thinking about the lives of linguists and historians because I'm too busy working.
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Well to a large extent linguists and historians are just doing the same thing you're doing, but eliminating the middleman. They're being paid directly to indulge their own proclivities.
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yo somebody needs to remember a dream or something, this thread got aggro and i'm bored of it
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This thing a friend said on Facebook is true of most of my dreams.
"believe in your dreams" is a confusing thing to tell people. I dream all kinds of weird things that if I believed in them I would live in CONSTANT TERROR! And I would believe that I forgot to wear ##### to work.
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I was wandering around some kind of fancy hipster mall looking for either a raincoat or jeans to spend my christmas money on. They had lots of awesome clothes, but no raincoats. Then I stumbled into a section that was just beautiful women trying on exciting underwear. I walked through there and saw lots of bodies and also two ladies having a play-fight with giant dildos. Next came the two competing burger-and-milkshake joints, across the hall from each other. I was trying to decide which place looked better when I woke up.
While I was home I had a dream that a lady in sexy workout attire approached me, and her mouth opened and one of those double-voices they give the devil in movies1 came out, and she said something like "I'VE GOT YOU NOW" and reached out at me and I grabbed her by the throat and started bashing her against the pavement.
I do not feel great about how often I have dreams about fighting beautiful women. I do not believe dreams mean anything but none of my friends have those dreams.
1-- you know, where you can hear her normal voice but also a terrifying distorted second voice that is very deep and roaring
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I had a dream that a lady in sexy workout attire approached me, and her mouth opened and one of those double-voices they give the devil in movies1 came out, and she said something like "I'VE GOT YOU NOW"
All Shall Love Me and Dispair (http://youtu.be/spHEw2n9LwE)
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My wife was giving birth. She was a hot Asian lady. I saw the baby and burst into tears of happiness and couldn't breathe. I was overcome with love, and announced I was getting a tattoo of the little guy's name immediately. What are we naming him? "New Vegas. Like, as in Fallout:New Vegas." Are you sure, honey? Yes.
Ok, maybe I can just get his initials.
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This is JL's fault.
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This is JL's fault.
/TOUAMB
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<3
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Side story (IRL, not a dream) a dude I know got his baby's DOB tattooed beside his eye in Roman numerals. To me this is a mistake. Even if it's your kid's birth date, and you will love that kid forever, do not get a face tattoo. It is just never a good idea in my books. It makes me sad, even though I guess it is a beautiful gesture.
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yet another thing that only the maori can really pull off
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yet another thing that only the maori can really pull off
Yeah, that and haka.
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Why Roman numerals?
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Because, dates? Superbowls and years on the MGM logo at the movies?
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I don't think of my own birthday in Roman numerals, but not having children, I have no idea how similar it feels to the Super Bowl.
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Why Roman numerals?
You know, I've never actually acknowledged the tattoo. He just showed up one day with them on his face, and I thought it best not to say anything, as I was afraid I'd insult him by saying something negative.
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One of my friends has a birthday in early February. He's taken to calling the party "Super Bowl XLVII, Andy XLIII, then Super Bowl XLVIII, Andy XLIV" and so on. Its a fun intersection of our geek friends who don't normally follow the sport (or any sport), and friends who are football fans with non-geek occupations or avocations.
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I was born the day of Super Bowl IV, and as such I have always called the Super Bowl my "alternate birthday." And my running gag is "Today I am XLIV years old."
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Super Bowl II (which I don't remember, I was 6) and Superbowl VII (which I do) fell on my birthday, but all of the early games were within a few days of. Sometime later, around XII or XIII or so the playoffs got longer with more teams involved and then they started having a bye week so now the game is almost a month after my birthday.
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The Superbowl is the same age as me. That's right, the big "L" is coming up pretty soon.
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Oh no!
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As a non-football person, I resent the fact that the super bowl has creeped forward to coincide with my birthday weekend. It totally kills any Saturday-night party plans I could possibly make, because nobody wants to be out late the night before the super bowl. And more than once, I've ended up at super bowl parties I didn't even want to attend, babysitting everyone else's kids because I'm the only one not interested in the game.
Thumbs down to the super bowl.
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My prediction is when the Superbowl gets to L they will drop the Roman Numerals and just call it Superbowl 50. JL, if the league gets its way and they go to an 18 game schedule you might get your wish and the game will push even later in the year. Also, it's Unamerican to not love the Superbowl.
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because nobody wants to be out late the night before the super bowl.
You should call bullshit on that. The game doesn't start until what, 6 PM? Even if you want to watch the pre-game and/or the Puppy Bowl, there's plenty of time to sleep in Sunday morning before getting Super Bowl Sunday festivities under way.
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My prediction is when the Superbowl gets to L they will drop the Roman Numerals and just call it Superbowl 50. JL, if the league gets its way and they go to an 18 game schedule you might get your wish and the game will push even later in the year. Also, it's Unamerican to not love the Superbowl.
We had a "let's play boardgames" party on SB Sunday this year. Two or three people complained the game wasn't on because they somehow missed the point of the party. It was eventually put on with no sound. Yet when the Tivo needed both tuners to record our regular Sunday night shows and the game was switched off nobody noticed for at least 40 minutes.
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People planning alternative parties solely to spite the Superbowl is a great testament to it's success.
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A Super Bowl played after an 18-game season and extended playoffs would suck, because it would only feature the uninjured bench warmers.
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People planning alternative parties solely to spite the Superbowl is a great testament to it's success.
It's kind of like being a Satanist.
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It's kind of like being a Satanist.
That pretty much sums it up.
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Had a teen style dream where I borrowed my dad's car and had to call him to tell him I wrecked it. As the dream went on more and more things stopped working, and I took it to a mechanic and he said I had done something stupid to make all these things happen. But somehow in the process I drove all the way to Texas with my brother, sister, and cat in the car.
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LOL. Ash dreamed he was normal, and this made him think of me.
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You just can't get this kind of repartee on Facebook.
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Man, my subconscious is so into public transit. Lately every dream is about taking the NJ train or the subway and getting lost and not knowing how to get where I'm going.
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Man, my subconscious is so into public transit. Lately every dream is about taking the NJ train or the subway and getting lost and not knowing how to get where I'm going.
I have these kinds of dreams ALL THE TIME.
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I've been having some wacky-ass recurring dreams lately about a dog-man who works at the front-desk of a dentist's office. I'll come in to talk with him about payment options and insurance or something, and this guy—who seems more dog-like in demeanor and mannerisms than appearance—will sit there, very controlled and rigid, and do his job like anybody would expect. The only weird thing I notice besides his vague dog-aura is that his hands are always involuntarily clenching into little paws.
Anyway, the climax of the dream always happens when I stop by his office one day a few minutes after it's closed, and I see him gleefully galloping around the building, naked and on four legs, while chasing an orange ball and barking. Perhaps this is just standard corporate repression type stuff, but its vividness always leaves me in a weird mood as I get ready in the morning.
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Oh man, losing-all-my-teeth dreams just get more and more real feeling. This one had that sense of impending doom and even saying to myself "this isn't a dream, this is really happening. This is my real life."
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Dang, I don't want your dreams!
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I had a dream juff replaced the board with a page explaining why he was giving up on rebooting it. yikes.
Also included in the page was a list of everyone's sock-puppet aliases. They were all things like "pmcd7 was pmcd9. MarsupialLady was Wombat. P-Adore was V-Adore."
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Noooooo.
If I live long enough to be stuck in a nursing home, I was planning to re-reread the whole board to relive my glory days. I guess maybe there is a way I could get the whole thing from Jough as an archive, even if it isn't live anymore?
But not now please. My dog is dying and I've been sick all summer. I can't stand it now.
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I can't remember my dreams anymore.
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I don't even want to know about P-Adore.
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my friend who lives Abroad is having a lot of problems (emotionally) with being far from home, lonely, etc. so we have been chatting a lot. I may have posted previously about her chauvinistic foreign BF, who she finally broke up with.
I have always had romantic feelings for her (and I know this is a boy-who-cries-wolf thing but these feelings are much more real than my usual feelings) that I have told her about, once, a few years ago. She was not interested but very kind about it. So now that we are talking a lot, my brain decided I should have long, very realistic dreams that she was moving here to be with me. Helping her look for jobs, finding an apartment for her (wouldn't want to jump right into living together immediately, right?), and excitedly awaiting her arrival.
WTF brain, fuck you. You suck, brain.
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Listen Alert will not listen to your dreams (https://youtu.be/MHCXk48EDq0).
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Again with the too-on-the-nose:
I was going through OkCupid pages and found a girl who looked kind of cute. A little too much makeup maybe. Swipe to the next picture, geez are those fake boobs? Swipe to the next picture, what, a fake nose? What's going on here? Zoom in and her face is just a pasted together collage of fake body parts, like clippings from a magazine, and I wake up with my heart pounding in my ears.
Time to throw my smartphone in the trash, I guess.
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I had a dream my friend from college said we could bone, but only if we did it in this dressing room at a clothing store we were in. There was a long line of people waiting to use it, who were sighing with exasperation when they saw us go in together. After a minute or so I said that I just felt too weird that everyone had seen us go in, and guilty that they were waiting, and couldn't we just finish somewhere else. She was pissed off and left.
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Maybe you won't be having dreams like that for awhile now that you've gotten your bone on in real life.
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Who the heck was that dream about? With the dressing room? I don't remember at ALL.
Last night: I was in class with two guys who bullied me (mildly) in high school. My boss was the professor, and she tore them apart.
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First: I was at a record store and found a box of amazing used records. On the front of the box it said "Property of David Bowie."
I think this was because in real life the other day I saw a man who looked just like David Bowie. He gave me a look that said "don't say it."
Second: I was accepted to the urban planning grad program at Harvard with a full scholarship. I decided to give up all of my ideals about urban planning and become a rich hipster urban designer. "Why not sell out and have fun?"
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...that a TOUAMBer's spouses died, and I was weighing whether to make a thread about it. Yeesh.
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I had a humdinger of a dream last night, but it had nothing to do with any of you all.
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...that I was in a gym full of people celebrating Asherdan's birthday. When we sang Happy Birthday and got to the part where you sing the name, people were looking at each other and asking "is his name actually Asherdan? Is it just Dan?" and then collectively shrugged and finished the song.
I also dreamt that I took a trip to NYC with my wife, parents and siblings, and I got separated from them several miles outside of the city and tried to follow the train tracks back to a station but ended up at like a country club and got harassed outside of the country club by some...townies? I don't think that's the right word. Then I said fuck it, I'm taking an Uber and was expecting some crazy high charge (apparently I didn't get a pre-ride estimate) but it was only $18 because I shared the ride.
Then in NYC, still apparently separated from my family or maybe they went home, I took some acid and went to either a music or film festival at an enormous bookstore and people could tell I was tripping hard but I didn't care.
Then, still tripping balls, I realized I was near the High Line so I walked up the stairs and it was really beautiful even though I was slightly scared I would walk off the edge.
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...that I was getting checked in to a psychiatric/geriatric hospital. I remember looking at my room, and the patient who was leaving the room was still in the process of checking out, and I was annoyed because the bed sheets and comforter were this really ugly maroon color. But i was so relieved. And I woke up super anxious because the last place I want to be right now is a hospital.
Hope everyone is doing well.
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This is the dream I create a facebook chat group to share with y'all, but I wanted to put it on here as well for archival purposes. Because why not?
Hey former Touamb'ers. I had to share this story with somebody and y'all seemed like the only reasonable choice. So here goes.
A couple months ago, I quit getting split on green. Ever since then, I have been having very vivid dreams. I understand this is a regular occurence. It's been pretty fascinating. About two weeks ago, I decided to start keeping a dream journal. First thing every morning I write down what I remember about the previous night's dreams. This has also been pretty interesting.
So, last night I had a dream.
I dreamed I was in Northern California, the bay area. Somehow I ended up at a house show where some very cool musicians were playing -- Dean Ween and former members of the Dead. It was really cool, so I decided to come back the next night when they were supposed to be doing it again.
And I did, but I got there just as they were finishing up and breaking down. A little disappointing, but OK. After everyone else had left, it was only me and this wook. He said he knew where the show was continuing and if I would drive we could go there. I was a little dubious, but OK.
We get in my car and start driving. I ask him where we are now. He says Milpitas, CA. Fair enough. I ask him where we're going and he has to think about it, so I stop the car and wait. Finally he tells me an address. I start to try to look up the address and have trouble with Google Maps and at that point I wake up. But I remember the address.
The address is 5 Churchill Ave.
Since I'm awake now, I pick up my phone and google Milpitas, which exists. On the off chance that 5 Churchill Ave is a real location in the area too, I google it as well.
It is a real place. It's in Palo Alto, which as we know is the alternate universe location of Achewood. Turns out, based on the January 3, 2005 map of Achewood, 5 Churchill Avenue is about 4 blocks from the house where Chris, T-Adore, Lyle, Phillippe and Mr. Bear live.
Weird stuff. I've never been to the bay area in my life and to the best of my knowledge the strip never mentioned any addresses.
True story.
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This is the dream I create a facebook chat group to share with y'all, but I wanted to put it on here as well for archival purposes
Wait so y'all are just hanging out somewhere else?
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I had a dream so pleasant it was painful to wake up. Hard to describe and explain what happened in the dream. Also can't decide if my brain was giving me a break from the constant anxiety of the past three years or fuck*ng with me by giving me a glimpse of relief.